Just don’t read the comments on that video. Trust me.
Couple nights back, Mechalis and I went to Ulduar. We both skipped the place for the longest time, ’cause why would anybody stick around in the snows of Northrend with the Scourge when you could be where it isn’t snowing and where the smell of rotting flesh is a little less intense? (Plus, the only currency the Scourge accepts is YOUR DEATH, which doesn’t have a good exchange rate as far as I’m concerned.)
Anyway, Mech did most of it and then ditched, supposedly because she can only do so much when ranged damage is necessary. But I’m pretty sure she did the fun part and then left me the problems.
Mech told me about how Caliverne drove this destroyer thingus, and she got to shoot things down and use this awesome chain thing to grab the stuff they left on the ground! (It’s SO unfair! I would’ve been twenty times better at it!) She says it took her awhile to figure out the whole chain business, which isn’t surprising, if you consider that whole got-Scourged-got-Better thing she had to deal with. Anyway, it wasn’t entirely clear whether or not she was supposed to be shooting at the towers or not, but she shot at them because they were behind the flying things, which insisted on moving. Oops? Note to self: Death Knights have big swords because they can’t aim. Do not give them projectiles.
Mechalis also went on and on about how she found this Magic Safe Square. Gawd, did she ever tell me about that square! She said that if you stood exactly on it, you didn’t get hit. I was like, “hit by WHAT,” which was dumb, because it gave her another opportunity to start talking about wings and stuff.
I guess they were attempting to roast some dwarves, but had a problem with a total lack of firewood or other combustibles, so they had to make do with some dragon instead. After awhile, they decided they’d had it, because dragons aren’t exactly cooperative when it comes to barbeques that are not of their own choosing. So they moved on. She had a moment when she thought everybody but one would have to die but it turns out she just didn’t read the achievement right.
Then Mech said she got to run through a “gauntlet,” but that she really didn’t have to worry about much, because she went with Caliverne and some other Death Knights, and they pretty much smashed everything ever. She didn’t remember much else about that part. I guess the long hallway reminded her of the light at the end of the tunnel, or something, being a Death Knight and all. She didn’t really remember much about the Furnace, or Freya, or much of anything about the Cache, which she said she thought was rare. I swear, her attention span is like that of a gnome kid on candy.
That’s where I came in, though, so this is clearly where it gets good. First, we watched an orc hit a big red button, which was great. Then we ran around on fire for awhile, which was less great, and then we killed this robotic gnome guy, which was more great. Uuuunfortunately my grand entrance here was somewhat ruined by the fact that I spontaneously croaked (I swear I wasn’t standing in anything!). Fortunately, somebody used a battle res and I saved the day by shooting stuff! Or so I like to think, anyway, so I’ll keep on thinking that.
I ran around aimlessly for awhile. Then we got to meet this chick named Sara, who had some serious issues and could definitely benefit from therapy. (As I like to say: she doesn’t have issues. She has a subscription!) ”Sara” should also rethink that name choice, because her true identity is pretty obvious. Don’t think I’ll be fooled just because the name means “princess!” It figures a big ball of slime with slime teeth would pick an attractive woman as an avatar.
I, being one of the sanest people I know, never went insane. (It also helped that I practice the fine art of Self Preservation, so I was not clicking on one of those damn portals, no thank you!) Uuunfortunately, everybody else did. I’m not sure who stabbed me first, but it was pretty brutal and involved a lot of swords. Despite that, we perservered, and we managed to win the day!
I like Ulduar, I think. Mech did too. We both kinda wish it didn’t take half our natural lifespan to complete, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers. You don’t have to listen to the dragon Aspects complain when you fail, which is nice, because sometimes failing happens and they just gotta deal with it. I mean, come on, Aspects, let’s be realistic here! Ulduar also isn’t on fire, which helps me appreciate it more. I’m kinda tired of fire.
p.p.s., Since I stuck that video in this entry, lemme write down Prinnie’s 10 favorite videos, in order:
- Happy Place (Best. Machinima. EVER.)
- I Am Forsaken (This one gave me the chills, and is also the only serious one on this list.)
- A Day in the Life (“He … has a family!?”)
- World of Workcraft (If the 9 to 5 gig were a MMORPG …)
- Meet the Hunter (This video is made of pure truth.)
- Don’t Make Me Get My Main (Made by the same team who made Happy Place, which explains why it’s awesome.)
- What Would Warchief Garrosh Do? (It’s almost a little too quick, but it’s super cute and almost makes me like Garrosh Hellderp.)
- Welcome to the Deadmines (A classic, even if I’ve never actually seen these bosses since my Heroic Deadmines runs are post-Cata.)
- Boom de Yada WoW (I can still sing the Discovery Channel original.)
- Pugs All Night (I admit it, I like it.)