Good News, Everybody
We now have scientific evidence that going AFK reduces the queue time by at least ten minutes.
I happened to be looking at Bombelina’s SoO LFR kill totals the other day. They are, in order:
Wing One: Vale of Eternal WTFery
- Immerseus x14
- Fallen Protectors x14
- Norushen x14
- Sha of Pride x12
Wing Two: Gates of Retribution
- Galakras x11
- Iron Juggernaut x10
- Dark Shamans x9
- General Nazgrim x7
Wing Three: Underhold
- Malkorok x6
- Spoils of Pandaria x5
- Thok x5
Wing Four: Downfall
- Siegecrafter Blackfuse x4
- Paragons of the Klaxxi x3
- Garrosh Hellderp x1
From this assortment of digits and disappointments, I draw the following mostly unsupported and not necessarily even related conclusions:
1.) The Pain in the Assness Quotient increases substantially after Wing One
And as a result, my numbers begin to drop fast. Unlike Ye Olde ToT LFR, I no longer finish one wing and queue for the next, and I’ve barely even touched the last wing at all. Bombelina is the ONLY one who has defeated Garrosh (on LFR and Flex). In comparison, a good number of my characters have downed Lei Shen, with Bombelina leading the pack at 18 LFR kills. For Gawd’s sake, I’ve killed Siegecrafter Blackfuse and the Klaxxi more in Normal than I have in LFR.
Thanks to mechanics that require skills like group arrangement, personal restraint and focused DPS when presented with multiple targets, crap gets substantially harder for LFR groups after the Sha of Pride. How many times have I seen people start the Galakras fight without setting up a tower team? How many times have I seen people tunnel vision on Nazgrim only to die to all the adds? (Oh yeah, or that whole DEFENSIVE STANCE business.) How many times have I seen people attack different Klaxxi Paragons, or ignore Korven’s Amber? (Answer: more than my number of kills would lead you to believe, since eventually I left and/or every group in question fragmented and quit.)
Blizzard did get smart when they made the Spoils fight require a grand total of FOUR people to start up in LFR, since somebody would ALWAYS kick the box and begin the encounter before everybody was ready. So why, then, can the Galakras encounter STILL be started by ONE person? Practically EVERY TIME I run that wing, SOMEBODY TALKS TO LORTHIE, and there’s NO ESCAPE once it has begun.
Yet it isn’t Pain in the Assness alone. It’s also the fact that everybody’s annoyed as hell by the end of the first boss.
And They’ll All Go Down Together
If only I had a way to kill the tank without offing myself too.
2.) Four bosses is too damn long
Like that one time somebody was getting ready to sass me for doing the least number of dispels on the Sha of Pride trash, or by the time I get back to Nazgrim after the second wipe – I’m finished, even if the last boss is not. I am just DONE by then. DONE. Many people lose their cool a lot sooner. Combine long boss fights with four bosses in the first two wings and you get people dropping so damn fast that nearly any group will disintegrate before it even gets to three stacks of Determination.
Or you get people trolling. “Why are we taking so long to pull the boss,” they say, in a whiny tone with less words, right before they pull the boss and kill everyone. Not sure which result I like least.
3.) OMFG Trash
I know that this is supposed to be like, the penultimate raid for the expansion and sheeyit, but damn! SoO trash is like a boss unto itself, only spread out and every-freaking-where you go. Just run by the blind swordsmen? HAHAHAHA YOU ACT LIKE YOU GOT 25 NOT-COMPLETELY-DISTRACTED PEOPLE TOGETHER HERE. Bunch up tight so you don’t pull all the adds in the middle of Org? HAHAHAHAHA YOU’RE NOT MY MOM, YOU CAN’T TELL ME HOW TO STACK. LFR didn’t know you had to kill ALL the orc engineers who open those boxes, letting out Shredders? HAHAHAHAHAHA ENJOY THE PAIN AND SUFFERING, MOTHER TRUCKERS.
Speaking of those engineers: WHY is it that the gnomes take care of the trash in those rooms for the Alliance, but we Hordies gotta fight through it? Why? It’s like Blizzard is trying to counter Horde favoritism claims by making the last wing suck for Horde. Or maybe they want us to struggle ’cause Garrosh was our Warchief or something. Dudes, you put Garrosh up there, not me!
5.) The Midas Touch OF DEATH
RNG.
If ever I meet you in a dark alleyway, RNG, you’d best be prepared to take a plunger to the face.
You have been warned.
DON’T JUDGE
Agility. It’ll be the new priest tanking spec in WoD.
On the one hand, I like having individualized loot because I can’t imagine an LFR group trying to divvy up the goods, and also because I never win the really good crap when I have to roll against somebody. But on the other hand, it still pisses me the hell off when I spend one of my three carefully acquired tokens, and get more gold. It still irritates me deeply when I spend my evening hours trudging through Orgrimmar with crankyass, snarktastic LFR groups and enduring painful, long boss fights, only to get gold on every single freaking boss, or a piece of gear I can’t actually use. YEAH, THANKS FOR THE OFFHAND, RNG. DID I MENTION I USE A STAFF?
Maybe it’s because it seems to emphasize the unfairness somehow. I have a limited amount (of course) of Seals (vs. 16 bosses or so if you include Ordos and the Celestials), and must be very choosy about spending them – therefore, when I finally use them and get the same old thing (A TRIFLING AMOUNT OF YET MORE GOLD!), it irritates me. When I part with one of my precious, precious coins, I expect a damn piece of loot!
Maybe it’s because I can’t necessarily or easily get seals for the LFR that’s the appropriate level for the character in question. For some of my alts, grinding Timeless Coins to purchase Mogu Runes of Fate is an impossibility. Depending on my skill or lack thereof with an alt (as well as their gear), it may take too long to be practical, or may result in too many deaths. Why can’t I choose which dang charm type I get from the quest guy?
Maybe it’s because I want to stomp on the toes of every asshat but can’t, and that impotent anger is redirected into RNG hate.
Or maybe it’s because I keep on hoping that dealing with sheeyit will be worth it because surviving said sheeyit will reward me with this or that thing that I’ve really wanted for whatever reason (getting rid of bad gear/getting a set bonus/etc.). When it does not, it’s like I’ve gone through the same old sheeyit for no damn good reason. If I cannot guarantee a replacement or even noticeably up my chance of upgrading my worst slots (why yes, that character is carting around a 450 trinket, thanks), then why bother?
I’ve started writing down what I get, or trying to at least. I take note of the character, the date, the LFR/flex, what loot I received initially, whether or not I rolled, and what I received for that roll. The idea here is that I will be able, in times of great gear sadness, to look at the list and say, “but hey, Bombelina got such and such on this date!” Either that, or it’ll just reinforce my stinky RNG. Probably the latter.
That Was an Accident! 