Monthly Archives: June 2012

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MY MOTHER IS COMING

HURRY

CLEAN ALL THE THINGS

/panic

CLEAN ALL THE THINGS

CLEAN ALL THE THINGS
I have no idea why I shopped this.

She has a thing for “spending time together as family” and “going outdoors.”  Since she is my mother, I must indulge her in these habits, and accordingly I won’t be online much at all for July 1st through the 9th.  Okay, so that’s a bit more than a week, but I gotta clean!

“Gothic Overlord” Set

"Gothic Overlord" Set

“Gothic Overlord” Set

“Gothic Overlord” Set

Class: Paladink, Warrior, Death Knight

Overlord’s Crown | Gothic Plate Shoulders | Spiked Chain Cloak | Gothic Plate Armor
Gothic Plate Gauntlets | Gothic Plate Girdle | Overlord’s Legplates | Obsidian Greaves

Stylish Black Shirt
Warmonger’s Buckler
Discipline Rod

Status: Finished
To Find: Nothing

Thoughts: Not too long ago, I was suddenly afflicted by visions of Niremere wearing old Metallica t-shirts and spikes in her ears while sighing over the Mechano-hog she will never own and headbanging her way through dungeons.  While none of these things are bad in and of themselves (in particular, knocking a mob out with your own noggin would be great!), they just aren’t how I pictured her character – and the mental images would just not go away.  (Niremere would probably listen to instrumental New Age or trance music – no Yanni, please – while meditating and figuring out how to solve child hunger and achieve World Peace through competent administration and the Light.)

Uuunfortunately, if you rely on the AH as I do, transmogging as a member of the Alliance is horrifically more expensive than it is for Horde.  (10k for a platekini top?  You people are nuts.)  Therefore, I chose the Gothic set to start off with – as it’s ugly as hale, it costs way less gold!  I got supercalifragilisticexpialidocious lucky with the Overlord’s Leggings – someone put them up for 5g. Either they didn’t realize you could sell them for more like 500g, or they meant to put them up for 500g but forgot the zeroes.  Good luck will come to those who check the AH obsessively.

This set makes me think of pumpkins, which makes me think of the Smashing Pumpkins, which makes me think of …  Niremere wearing an old Metallica t-shirt and spikes in her ears while sighing over the Mechano-hog she will never own and headbanging her way through dungeons.  Dammit!  At least I match better now.

Mana Management is Bullsheeyit

'tis but a scratch

’tis but a scratch
I’ve had worse.

After a brief stint running around Azshara, blasting basilisks and ecoterrorists I mean, night elves, Ebixxie was ready for to queue for dungeons as a Shadow priest.

Ragefire Chasm was up first, but while the group got Tagaraman the Hungerer or whatever his name is, they didn’t finish the rest of the quests/clear the dungeon because the tank inexplicably jumped into the lava and dropped the party.  The tank definitely did not fall into the lava by accident.  No, the tank made an actual effort to jump into it.  Ebixxie wasn’t sure why.  Nobody died, she herself made a concerted effort not to be a jackass, and the huntard wasn’t too huntarded.  For a bunch of level 15s, it could’ve been a hell of a lot worse!

Oh well.  Upon requeue, she ended up in her first Deadmines Jr. run, which they did actually complete.  So far, here’s how I feel about Shadow:

  1. Purple sparkly orb things!  Yay!
  2. Mind Flay makes me think Bobby Flay, but with more evil and less dinner.
  3. Oh, my GAWD, her mana!  Where is it?  Where did it go?

Ebixxie is like a black hole, endlessly sucking mana into a void whence it never returns.  The healer was practically prancing around with a full mana pool 24/7, while Ebixxie was clawing for any Ice Cold Milk she could find on the corpses and just about sobbing for an opportunity to actually drink it.  (Since you’re not responsible for their health, nobody cares about your mana, Ebixxie.  Suck it up and punch some sheeyit.)  That healer and his damned pretty mana pool only took a break for mana once, and of course he was up and running before Ebixxie was ready!  He only had to regen half while my poor girl was trying to start from zero.

It’s not like she’s some prolifigate mana waster!  She casts Shadow Word: Pain once at the start, does some Mind Flaying until she gets the three orbs, and then she lets rip a Mind Blast, rinse, repeat.  It seems like a fairly responsible use of a limited resource.  But it doesn’t matter!  Her MP just drops and drops and drops, and it never comes back unless by some miracle the tank goes AFK and she has more than ten seconds to sit and take a drink.  Ebixxie needs a drink drink.  Maybe a Sulfuron Slammer …

I just wanna be shadowy and evil and stuff.  Right now I’m more like a faint shadow on a cloudy day, or maybe the nonshadow of noon.  I want to be the horribly stark, unflattering shadow you get when you use the camera flash.  Why is evil so hard?

Oh Sheeyit Screenshots: Direct to DVD Equivalent

Fair Trade Agreement

Fair Trade Agreement
Yeah, this is totally fair.

Goblin Starting Zone

Goblin Starting Zone is the best!
Bite me, Valley of Trials!

I think I said a while back that I wasn’t going to post any of the ideas you have when you drink Kaja-cola.  I changed my mind!

The Hidden Side of Silvermoon

The Hidden Side of Silvermoon
Apparently, only RPers know of this.

Did you know that the Tailoring shop in Silvermoon City runs on leper gnome labor?  This guy’s minion even goes around whipping them (although one of them doesn’t seem to care, he always goes back to sleep).  Do you think leper gnomes are still sane enough to care?  If not, I need to get some for my Rocket Camel assembly line.

Blackwing Lair

Blackwing Lair
Black dragons make bad business partners.

None of my goblins understand why any self-respecting, profit-inclined sentient being would ally his/her/itself with the black dragonflight or anything Twilighty.  There isn’t a whole lot of gold in the end of the world, people, because the gold will cease to exist!  There’s probably lots to be made in extending the end of the world, but the black dragonflight isn’t exactly into that.  Besides, they’ll just kill you and take your money anyway.  (Plus, working conditions almost always suck, because they have a thing for fire.)

Unfortunately, none of the goblins in Blackwing Lair seemed interested, so Therm, Caliverne and Shao gave them another reason why allying with crazydestructive dragons is a bad idea: people who aren’t aligned with said creatures will kill you.  Either way, you end up broke and dead.

Oh Sheeyit Screenshots: Did I mention I take a lot of these?

Map Quest /punny!

Map Quest /punny!
If you ignore the large statue,
I like the fountain.

While Niremere has absolutely no problem with a stone-faced Varian Wrynn staring at everything forever, I am personally not so fond of that part.  But if you subtract that, the fountain is a very nice place to be.  I also like the vaulted ceilings in the  Keep:

Vaults

Vaulted Ceiling
Yes, I look at this sort of stuff.

Architecture!  Excuse me while I sit here and ponder whether those ornamental columns are marble or whatever the Azerothian equivalent is.  Back Horde-side, Thermalix has toyed with the idea of stealing the flames from Alliance capital cities:

They will NEVER see me coming.

They will NEVER see me coming.
Ok, once they killed the mage, they did.

So far, all she’s done is follow one mage into Exodar, then high-tail it out of there on a camel when said mage made too many friends and bit the dust.  I expect she did not die because the sight of a goblin on a camel was probably a bit much for the Exodar NPCs.  You have to stop laughing before you can aim!

Light in the Darkness

Light in the Darkness
/dramatic

See, goblins can be serious!

Fraternizing with the Enemy

Fraternizing with the Enemy
All’s Fair in Booty Bay

While looking for iron ore on Niremere, I ran into Caliverne.  We /emoted each other into the Salty tavern and had a drink.  What?  What happens in Booty Bay stays in Booty Bay!  (Or so the advertising campaign says, anyway.)

Be British, Boys

Be British, Boys
I mean, be blood elfish?

Goblin Population Control

Goblin Population Control
Whatever works!

Best conversations of the week.

DS Mind Wipe

Mind Wipe
Alexstrasza is full of it.

DS LOVE AND LOBSTER

DS LOVE AND LOBSTER
Never underestimate the power of seafood.

We were having a lot of trouble hitting the button that day.  And yes, when it became clear we were going to wipe, I jumped.  Sadly, the temple gets wider about halfway down, so I didn’t make it all the way to the ground.

So Turbo

TURBO FLYING MACHINE BABY

TURBO FLYING MACHINE BABY
This thing is so turbo.

Engineering’s at 519/525.  Damn my lack of elementium!  Damn my brokeness!  I have no choice but to spend my immediate future in Deepholm.

I also put together some Truesight Ice Blinders, which match the Globules Set pretty well!

"Globules" Set Redux

“Globules” Set Redux

Tanking While Tap Dancing

My past relationship with tanking comes in the form of Thingie, who got to level 40 by this approach.  As a warrior tank with a slight inferiority complex due to her height and DPS, her technique was something like “/ROAR and /PANIC and USE ALL THE SKILLS!  OMFG!”  This worked, for the most part, but it did get somewhat stressful.  Somewhere around level 40 or so, she ran screaming and that was that.

Cue Niremere, who got to level 40 as Retribution.  She then had a party where a dwarf tank (named something like Thedwarf, I kid you not) went Ret in the middle of the dungeon, so she figured, she could go Prot, right?  RIGHT.

Niremere Tanks So You Don't Have To

Niremere Tanks So You Don’t Have To
Holy Crap Instaqueue

I actually kind of … like tanking.  What’s wrong with me?  This is a position of responsibility!  You actually have to do crap!  But Niremere feels dramatic and of consequence, running forward, slinging some shield and holy power, all the while smashing all the things.  Plus, OMFG INSTAQUEUE.  I don’t know what’s up, but every time she turns on Dungeon Finder, she’s got a party within a minute.  You can’t beat that.

This is not to say that everything ends well, of course.

Niremere's Tanking Adventures

Niremere’s Tanking Adventures
Well, crap.

Or, even better:

Baby Got Trolled

Baby Got Trolled
In Dire Maul? WTF?

Yeah, I don’t know either.  While I think I actually like tanking, I still hate Dire Maul, so I may just quest my way past that and then tank some more.

Let’s review:

Niremere

  1. Through judicious use of the Light, my party shall live.
  2. If it looks as though my party will wipe, I will go down fighting.  (Probably first, but it’s the principle that counts, right?)
  3. I will keep the mobs from attacking the heirloomed, the poorly geared and the wounded, no matter the cost.
Thingie

  1. The only way my party lives is if everything else dies.
  2. If it looks like this party is going to bomb, screw this sheeyit.  I’m getting out of here!
  3. What do you mean, tanking isn’t some sort of protection racket?  Besides, it’s not MY fault if the huntard pulls crap before I do.

Both agree on one thing, though.  Did the party live?  GOOD.

Critical Mass

I had Helea, my blood elf paladin, healing for awhile.  Recently, though, I came to the conclusion that I just don’t care, and therefore, the stress occasioned by the large numbers of new, squishy bear tanks encountered with Dungeon Finder was just not worth it.  I like living as much as the next soul, but for me, healing is a just means to that end – and it’s something that somebody else can do.  It only makes me feel things like “meh,” “okay, I guess,” and “well, somebody’s gotta do it.”  Now that I think about it, there’s probably not enough explosions in it.  How the hell did I get Ailabeth (my former priest) to 80?

Helea actually spent at least ten levels healing while in Prot spec before I realized that it really didn’t make much sense for a healer to have Avenger’s Shield.  Wait, hold on, why does she have Avenger’s Shield?  Oh!  Look at that, Helea’s in Prot.  What am I doing!?

Upon entering Gnomeregan for the nth time (and still in Protection because that’s how much I care), Helea was greeted with a “hello sexy little blood elf.”  If she could’ve shot green lasers out of her eyes, she probably would have.  Helea is certain that there’s a time and a place to be /flirty and meet guys, and Gnomeregan isn’t it.  It’s covered in leprous gnomes and irradiated cockroaches!  Ew, no!  Bad date!  Bad!  (Side note: I think most of the goblin girls would be like, “BEST DATE EVER.  Here, I’ll let you kill one of those ostrich thingies.  WHEE!”)  After struggling to level 27, she left Gnomeregan, went shopping, and had a hissy fit when she could find nothing that matched her new damn pants!

Meanwhile, Niremere-the-Paladink hit 40, obtaining plate and a unicorn!  Why was being a paladink so much more awesome on Niremere than Helea?  Since I’m asking this, why am I playing a blood elf?  This is me, Prinnie!  I am about as blood-elfy as a … as a … squirrel is. What am I doing!?

If you just guessed “Prinnie probably deleted Helea and made another goblin,” you’d be so on the money.

Ebixxie Kylala

Introducing Ebixxie Kylala (that’s pronounced “kill-lah-lah,” preferably in a sing-song tone), shadow priest.  Ebixxie looks forward to studying the process of brain implosion and whether or not awareness of impending brain implosion affects how it works.  In order to do this, she needs to set up a study of at least 1,000 victims participants, of whom half will have their brain imploded at random without any sort of warning, and half will know what’s coming.  What do you mean, this isn’t a good study?  It’s very well designed!

This means that each and every single one of my Hordies is now a goblin.  In all, the goblinization process took one year.

“Globules” Set, or “Jeebus Effing Cripes Stop Transmogging Your Wallet Can’t Take It”

"Globules" Set

“Globules” Set

“Globules” Set

Class: Huntard

Mail Combat Headguard | Grunt’s Pauldrons | Reanimator’s Cloak | Masterwork Breastplate
Radiant Gloves | Ornate Girdle | Renegade Leggings | Renegade Boots

Horrifying Horn Arbalest (not shown) | Spire of Coagulated Gobules

Status: Not Finished
To Find: some sort of matching bow

Thoughts: I’ve always liked the Grunt’s Pauldrons, but hated how they went with the rest of the Grunt’s set.  When I landed a new shiny staff (with globules!), it seemed a good time to try to make something that matched a bit better and wasn’t as intense as the “Mustard, Ketchup and Pickles” transmog experiment.  I got lucky with the belt – I wanted the Masterwork or Ornate Girdle, which were on the AH for 1,250g and 991g, respectively, and were totally out of my price range.  A few hours and obsessive checks later, somebody had put one up for 300g!  Hallelujah!  I got unlucky in that I bid on an 800g pair of gloves which I then changed my mind on and discovered that you can’t take back a bid.  Sheeyit.  I got lucky again in that some guildmates laughed their heads off when I told them how much it was, and Caliverne (he told me it wasn’t even that much) promptly went and outbid me.  I got unlucky again when I spent the same gold on a different pair of gloves which looked great in the little preview window, but upon exposure to the world, I realized that damn it all, they were a dark brown, not black.  Curses.  With what little gold I had left, I located the Radiant Gloves, which I like better than the matching Ornate, as they’re a little darker (and therfore match the strips on the arms).  I’m now broke, but I look good!  I think.