Having realized that with the glory of transmog, I no longer needed to stare at horrifically unmatched sets of armor, I began to take a look at my alts. Enter Thingie Goldwasher, eldest Goldwasher sister, cranky warrior, former tank who now says no tank you, and overall cynical crusher of dreams:
Oh God. I can’t even count the number of things that make me cry on the inside, but I’ll point out the major culprits: the “shirt” (held on with adhesives), the metal panties (can’t be comfortable), and ooogly colors (why are my boots green while my “shirt” is reddish?). (I couldn’t bear to take a screenshot of it when it got worse, which it did.) Thingie needed a makeover – FAST.
Unfortunately, that’s when I realized that at 41, Thingie had Problems. Warriors only get plate at 40, and that meant she was not yet decked out in full quest plate. Plate is also where transmoggers go to waste their gold, as it was priced a full arm and a leg higher than mail. Oh dear. Thingie first needed to get plated, then she needed to level, and lastly, hopefully, get rich. Two out of three happened. Cue the PUGS!
In the first group, there was a warrior who, seemingly at random, went and attacked a mob. Thingie, being helpful (and wanting to kill things faster because Dire Maul Oh God Why What Have I Done To You GET ME OUT OF HERE), assisted him.
For this, he punched her. That led to the following conversation:
As far as I know, jock straps have not yet been invented in Azeroth. WATCH IT.
Cue the next group, where the tank spontaneously dropped. While waiting:
As we all know, these sorts of groups are very special. This particular exchange ended with the priest running into some mobs and pulling them back. As the other party members wore cloth, Thingie reflexively went “OH CRAP,” switched to Defensive Stance and Thunderstomped. Keep in mind that Thingie does not own a shield. This went well for a brief period of time, but then the priest ran out of mana. The end is clear without saying.
In any case, after much suffering, Thingie gained enough levels to allow her to wear something obnoxious, but obnoxious in a better way.
Helmet Not Shown | Cleaned Up Pauldrons | Pagan Cape | Valorous Chestguard
Force Embued Gauntlets | Overlord’s Girdle | Valorous Legguards | Gothic Sabatons