Monthly Archives: September 2012

GAWD! I can’t help you right now! Wait a minute or something!

Pet Battles 01

Pet Battles 01
I’M BUSY RIGHT NOW GEEZE

I’m fighting a SRS BIZNIS pet battle plzkthx!  I don’t have the time to be SAVING people!  Say something again in five minutes.

I’ve decided that any pet I tame must be at least a green, or uncommon, which means that this whole collecting pets business is taking longer than anticipated.  On the upside, I’m getting a chance to level lots of different things up to 5.  One thing I do find annoying (from a completionist perspective) is how many damn pets there are that look exactly the same and do exactly the same thing but are “different” because they have different names.  There are ten different “versions” of the same damn roach, for example.  Whoop-de-doo.

And is it just me, or is there something ironic about getting rare quality rats?  I may have to make an all rat team, consisting of Pinky (Stormwind Rat), the Brain (Undercity Rat) and Narf (plain old but still somehow rare Rat).  (And for yet another rat-related reference, I convinced a guildmate to name his rare quality rat “Rous.”)

Introducing my current lineup, coming soon to a continent near you:

TEAM OF WINNARZ

TEAM OF WINNARZ

TEAM OF WINNARZ

TEAM OF WINNARZ

TEAM OF WINNARZ

TEAM OF WINNARZ

 

Why yes, I am taking this seriously.  Why do you ask?

Advertisements

Niremere’s Journey to 85, 353 ilevel and Theramore, As Illustrated in 5 Gifs

Stage 1:
Prinnie realizes you won’t be able to get the Theramore tabard in the future.

OMG I NEED TABARD

OMG I NEED THAT TABARD
LEVEL LEVEL LEVEL LEVEL LEVEL

Stage 2:
Prinnie levels Niremere faster than she has ever leveled any character before, and reaches 85.
(Side effect: temporary to permanent loss of sanity and diminished logical function.)

Smile

Smile
The level cap’s gonna change.

Stage 3:
Now exhausted but obsessing over gear score and her typically poor rolls, Prinnie
crashes and burns when faced with one too many fellow paladinks with bad looting habits.

(Seriously, tank, you needed on a one hand AGI axe when there was a rogue in the party?)
(Also, needing gold is not a good reason to roll need.  /kill /murder /maim)

This is the End for Me

This is the End for Me
There’s nothin’ left.

Stage 4:
Surprise!  Guildmates help Prinnie out.
The plan: run heroics for JP and plate drops, since Prinnie is the only plate wearer.

Unfortunately, this is me they’re helping.

OMG YES LET'S GO GUYS

OMG YES LET’S GO GUYS
HEROICS YEAH

Stage 5:
TODAY IS THE DAY.
(Or at least, I really hope it is.)

OMGOMG IT WILL BE MINE

OMGOMG IT WILL BE MINE
I am DETERMINED, I tell you.

ORLY

So you have a huntard, but you decide to run End Time on your DK, because baby needs a new set of shoulders.  You know what happens?  This happens:

Run End Time on a DK - Fate is Cruel

Run End Time on a DK
Fate is Cruel

Upon hearing about this, Thermalix had to be revived with some explosive smelling salts.  Things haven’t been all bad for her, however:

Proof of Possibility

Proof of Possibility
This means that Rocket Camels are a logical next step.

“Goblin Prospector” Set

"Goblin Prospector" Set

“Goblin Prospector” Set

“Goblin Prospector” Set

Class: Can be donned by any leather wearer, but really only works for a Rogue

H: Clever Hat | S: Rageclaw Shoulderpads | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Bard’s Tunic | Wa: Belt of Appeasement | L: Scouting Trousers
G: Fuzzy Gloves |Wr: Scaled Leather Bracers | B: Bard’s Boots

1h Mace: Shovel of Mercy (x2)

Status: Finished

Thoughts: The latest transmog contest I’ve jumped into has a “Mother Nature” theme, which is very evocative of all the druids I’ve never successfully leveled and the shaman that I totally deleted in a fit of patch-induced rage.  I like the challenge of these contests all right, but what the heck can I do with this concept?

I was stumped for a while, but in a blast of irony, I abruptly realized that goblins love nature.  Though I hear you guffawing now, I can assure you that they really do!  After all, nature is merely untapped profit potential.  To prove my case, let me introduce the Goblin Prospector, as portrayed by Bombelina (who is a rogue, fittingly enough).  She’s out and about in the wilds of Stranglethorn, seeing gold gold gold in all things great and small.  (Always remember, there’s pretty much a market for everything: what an orc won’t buy, an ogre surely will.)

Those trees?  Profitable, in so many ways.  There’s surf boards, toothpicks, forts, 2x4s for hitting people with, and more!  That dirt? Profitable, baby.  Rich in nutrients and crap.  Gardeners love that stuff.

What about the Venture Company, you say, since they’re already there?  While they may have established themselves in Stranglethorn first, the situation is still profitable.  Combine lax security with multiple opportunities for highway robbery and other business schemes?  Heck yes!  Steal all their stuff and sell it!  Or kill them all and use their facility to start a new company (“Bombelina Pyroelastisplosirene Company,” maybe) without any of the associated startup costs!  Wait, you’d still need somebody to run the place.  Never mind on that last bit.

p.s., I totally recruited a druid (a.k.a. the ever-suffering Tab) to cry in the background of the full picture, seen at the contest location.  BRB FAILING HARDCORE

“To Heck With Your Standards” Set

"To Heck With Your Standards" Set

“To Heck With Your Standards” Set

“To Heck With Your Standards” Set

Class: Death Knight, Warrior, Paladink

H: Not shown | S: Talonguard Epaulets | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Revenant Chestplate | Wa: Symbolic Girdle | L: Revenant Leggings
G: Revenant Gauntlets | Wr: Not shown | B: Symbolic Greaves

2h Sword: Sul’thraze the Lasher x2

Status: Finished
To Find: Nothing

Thoughts: Sometimes, when I look at sets like the Talonguard Set, I think that some poor designer at Blizzard must’ve started off with a solid, comprehensive idea (oogly as it was), but then he or she got the stomach flu and it all went to sheeyit.  The shoulders (to say nothing of the helm) don’t match unless you cross your eyes and vomit at the same time.

Buuuuut if I take those same shoulders and use them with pieces that actually share the color scheme (whoa, revolutionary thought there!), it doesn’t turn out so bad.  Gotta say, that beehive just rocks the casbah.  As long as she’s got hair like that, she’ll never wear a helm.

I have Sul’thraze the Lasher because I had Jang’thraze the Protector in my bank and asked Cal what the heck I should do with it, considering I had no plans to use 1 handed swords.  Cal immediately suggested I get the other and create Sul’thraze, and by “suggested” I mean he more or less motored me around Zul’Farrak and killed everything for me, because that was way faster.  Other than the sword, everything was an AH buy.

“Gold Star Mocha” Set, or the “Derp Derp Derp” Set

"OMGWTF" Set

“OMGWTF” Set
Seriously, don’t know what came over me.

Wait a minute.  Wait just one dang minute!  I can’t go into Pandaland looking like this!

"Gold Star Mocha" Set

“Gold Star Mocha” Set

Okay, that’s better.

“Gold Star Mocha” Set

Class: Death Knight, Warrior, Paladink

H: Not shown | S: Gold Star Spaulders | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Chestplate of Unspoken Truths | Wa: Girdle of the Warrior Magi | L: Puresteel Legplates
G: Plate Claws of the Dragon | Wr: Not shown | B: Veteran’s Plate Greaves

1h Mace: Beazel’s Basher x2

Status: Finished
To Find: Nothing

Thoughts: Do you ever feel like you’ve totally lost your mind?  I don’t know quite what came over me with that first getup.  I rebelled against the dark colors typically associated with death knights, but I clearly went a little crazy.  I thought the Amani Death Mask was hilarious on the first day (also hilarious: scaring the crap out of Tab), but by the second day, I wanted to kill myself.  Being as /smrt as I am and also yearning for some color that wasn’t red or green or DEATH, I decided that only the legs from the “Sanctified Lightsworn Garb” set would do.  Being as lazy as I am, however, I sure as hell wasn’t going to run ICC for them.

No, I was gonna farm rep with the Ashen Verdict (by running ICC … the logic, I haz eet) from nil to Revered AND level Mech’s recently acquired blacksmithing skill from super dinky to near max – all for the Puresteel Legplates.  It was gonna be Mechalis and Agerul the warrior (a.k.a. Tab), killing lots of Scourge for fashion!  Gawd, ignorance is bliss.  It really is!

He's Stepping On My Face

He’s Stepping On My Face
Think you could kill him a little faster?
No pressure or anything.

Okay, new plan: since I suck, I’ll just stay dead right here and let Tab kill all the things.  This plan worked up until Marrowgar, who happens to be the very first boss in ICC.  At that point, since you can’t get around him, we had to conclude two things:

  • Given my luck, skill at the “death” part of Death Knight and general all around ineptitude, I was probably going to be dead almost immediately (and therefore of zero help), and
  • Although Tab rocks and is also willing to single-handedly chip any boss’s HP away very slowly, chances for success without at least one healer seem kiiiinda slim

Okay, new new plan: guilt the guild.  I failed pretty quickly at this endeavor, partially because it’s hard to guilt people you don’t know in person and also because yours truly lives on the Eastern seaboard while most folks in the guild reside on the West Coast, where it was still way too dang early for them to be online.

Um, triple new plan: troll LFG Channel in Org and pretend we’re all about the achieves!  This plan also tanked fast, as apparently nobody wants to run ICC at 10 a.m. EST on a Sunday.  I think we had three bites in total, none of whom could heal and only one of whom hung around for more than five minutes.

New, possibly last plan: Begin to accept reality, that is, it’s not happening.  /sob.  Just /sob.

By this point, however, some West Coast folks had finally signed on, and they asked why I was totally harassing one of our healers to go to ICC of all places.  As soon as I mentioned “blacksmithing,” “rep grind,” “Puresteel legplates” and admitted to total “desperation,” a Paladin piped up and said, “Hey, I can make those!”

… wat

Blessed relief!  Glorious soul, bless you, Paladin, bless you.  You have saved me from myself.  You are a wonderful person and I am extricating my corpse from ICC now.

Quoth the Raven, “Theramore!”

LOLCAT EXPRESSES MY FEELINGS EXACTLY

LOLCAT EXPRESSES MY FEELINGS EXACTLY

Spoiler free, in that everybody knows what the end result of the scenario is.

your emotional
impact, like a crater: vast
in its emptiness

I just … wat … that’s it?
I bombed Theramore and all
I got was this thing

Derp

Here is a Derp
The Physical Manifestation of a Derp

[Edit: I want that Theramore tabard.  Niremere is level 70.  The event ends on the 24th.  I wonder if this is doable …]