Schaltzophrenia

I liked Ugbeis the Gorgeous, as I like comedy and there’s hardly an easier target than the gamer definition of “attractive,” but she kind of put me over my non-goblin alt limit.  I was beginning to feel a little schaltzophrenic!  But before I could return her to goblin form, I had to come up with a satisfactory name.  This took longer than anticipated, mostly because my goblin names must reference money, machinery or explosives.  I finally cooked up something I could live with, however, and Ugbeis the Gorgeous is now a goblin, who is somewhat less well endowed, is three feet shorter and has ears twice as big.

Since I am talking alts, I have to say that I just don’t get why goblins can’t be monks.  Seriously, what’s up with that?  I guess they excluded goblins and worgen because they didn’t want the rest of the “old” races to feel bad when they saw how gorgeous we and pandas look when doing monk-like moves.  Or perhaps they simply had to exclude somebody like they do for all other classes.  Otherwise, it just doesn’t make sense.  Even Draenai and Tauren can be monks, and they have jacked up legs and hooves!

But I want to try this monk business too!  So now there’s Tiyinti (EL OH EL I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE), the gnome monk.  Urgh, I can’t believe I made a gnome.  I’m supposed to be ethically opposed to gnome-dom, for despite their tinkering capabilities, they just don’t have the same proclivity for explosivity.  But there she is, because I refuse to make a panda until I can have an angryface female panda.  >:{  She’s level 5 and has just learned how to Roll.  Cue the “They see me rollin’/They hatin'” reference!

Because I don’t have enough to do, I’m also starting a druid.  I’m taking bets on how far I’ll get before I 1.) run screaming, 2.) break down in tears, and/or 3.) just go “WTF am I doing I mean seriously self” and delete her.  She’s currently a Tauren, but I plan on being a boomchicken so I can go pew pew pew.  She is named Crazyfeather, because 1.) WTF self this is crazy, 2.) I had a cow once by that name, and 3.) there’s totally an NPC called Windfeather so LORE PRECEDENT.

Mechbeth, ever confused, is now a goblin shaman (I know, I did just delete Majig in a fit of totem-induced rage), just so I can say I have a one of every class the race can be.  She counts, even if she is just level 1 and hasn’t even stepped out the door onto the terra disastra that is Kezan.

I gotta stop doing pet battles at some point and actually get past the Jade Forest.  You know, some day.

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2 thoughts on “Schaltzophrenia

  1. Leit

    Dear sweet heaven, but levelling does take some time in Pandaria though. It’s… kind of overwhelming going flat out and seeing your progress happen so slowly if you only have a couple of hours to play in the evenings. 😦

    Reply
    1. Prinnie Dood Post author

      Yeah, but I’m enjoying the questline so far, at least Hordeside.

      Apparently, my goblin ancestors DIED IN A FIRE. Other races have great power, ancient ancestry, whatever, but us goblins? Naw. They literally followed the ancient Internet saying, DIAF. I suppose it’s appropriate. There seemed to be a lack of explosions, however, so maybe they DIAF before we mastered bombs.

      I’m up to the point where the orcs/one undead/one monkey go on a recon mission and wind up losing one orc but overcoming racial, uh, distinctions like being dead.

      “The Alliance now control a force that outnumbers us thirty-to-one. And we – the HORDE – have befriended monkeys.” HELL YES WE HAVE. Though I gotta say that wasn’t my initial choice, as I rather enjoyed causing them to run in terror.

      Reply

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