Public Announcement: This Place is a Total Deathtrap

What sick, sadistic designer came up with the Serpent’s Spine quest chain for the Golden Lotus?  No, seriously, what the hell was wrong with that dood?

Let’s take Mantid Under Fire as the first example.  You’re supposed to go find a vat of boiling oil on the top of the wall and use it to hurl oil (and a torch, for extra fire) on the mantid at the foot of the gate.  Sounds good, right?  I believe the NPC who gave it to me actually called it fun!  It took me a little while to figure out when I had actually successfully oiled up a bunch of mantid (otherwise you will hurl the torch to no avail and everything – and I do mean everything – will magically evade you), but I was doing all right – until the game decided I apparently took too long in killing my 80 mantid.

Stunned but Not Silent

Stunned but Not Silent
I wish I had a shot of me in mid-plummet, but I was too startled the first time and too mad the second.

Why, in the name of Gawd, does the pot of oil insist upon ejecting you off the wall to your doom if you are unfortunate enough to take too much time to complete the quest?  I understand not wanting defenders (such as we are) to go AFK while manning one of the oil cauldrons when somebody else could use it, but why must I die without warning when I’m honest to Gawd using the thing and trying to complete the quest?

And why, in the name of Gawd, does the pot of oil insist upon throwing you off the gate to your doom if you click the authentic, legitimate “Leave Vehicle” button?  Why won’t it just let me step off to the side?  Why won’t the thing be satisfied unless it can hurl me off the wall to my demise, far, far below?

This was the first time I had gotten the quest chain.  Based on the comments I have subsequently read, you need to have the ability to see into the future to survive your first try.  With your psychic abilities, you will be aware of the violent tendencies of these pots to attack those manning them, and will wisely choose one of the pots on the ramparts where the wall is really thick.  That way, when the thing sends you flying – and it will – at least you don’t plunge to your certain death.

Nice one, whoever designed this quest.  Nice one.  You were angry or maybe a little upset at the time.  Maybe somebody said something awful on the forums, which they do a lot.  But why do we all have to suffer for it?

And while I’m at it, Along the Serpent’s Spine has caused me to hate the Shado-pan and the Golden Lotus in ways I never did before.  I’ve been told that the spawn rate in Mists is somehow smarter in that it magically increases when there are more people in the area killing the mobs in question, and decreases when there are less souls to do the work.  I think my friends who believe this are total fools.  They are also total dears and in many cases very experienced players, but they are fools for believing in this nonetheless.  Leaving fatty goatsteaks quest in the Valley aside, this quest proves it.

I was the only player in my immediate area, yet the spawn rate for the mantid on the wall was so Utterly Insane, my pet got utterly smashed to pieces and I had to Feign Death at a quarter health.  Thank God Feign Death lasts for up to six minutes so I could take a moment to wonder how the hell I was going to get out of there alive, since there was no one else killing these mobs in my vicinity and I was definitely still in aggro range.

All the while, the Shado-pan pandaninjas were running around the wall like chickens with their heads cut off.  Are they jogging to lose weight?  Are they hallucinating, seeing mantid in the distance that don’t exist?  THE SHADO-PAN, THEY DO NOTHING.

One of my tankytype guildmates (who, incidentially, ressed me earlier after one of my pot-of-oil-plummets) had to come help me out, because I would have aggroed without time to bandage up or drink a potion, which of course would have led to death.

Is this supposed to be realistic in the sense that OMG! THE PANDAS ARE BEING OVERRUN BY BUGS!?  If so, mission accomplished.  Objective achieved.  My conclusion is that the battle is utterly hopeless and pointless because even we big bad adventurers are going to get eaten alive by countless gigantic walking termites. Run away!


5 thoughts on “Public Announcement: This Place is a Total Deathtrap

  1. Leit

    If you think that’s the worst out there, you haven’t tried the Shado-Pan dailies out at FUCKING Sra’Vess. Millions of bugs, some of them patrolling elites with their own little groups. Which you have to kill at least four of. There’s basically no way to engage an elite without aggroing everything to the sides of the road, mobs will respawn on you while you’re still fighting, and at least one type of elite spams Fear. Or as it’s called in this case, Break Will. Which, for some reason, a paladin can’t even bubble out of. In case you weren’t having enough fun dealing with the five or six mobs and an elite that is the standard mosh pit on Sra’Vess.

    Just avoid Willbreakers altogether. You will fucking die.

    Oh, and you’re given a happy ninja helper with a stealth aura, except that either some mobs are ignoring stealth (without being marked like detectors usually are) or the aura is simply a pretty cosmetic effect, because it doesn’t seem to offer any actual, you know, stealthy hiddenness. Plus your happy ninja helper will go right ahead and summon its massive kite mount every other time you kill something, despite your being on the ground and, most of the time, *still in goddamn combat*. If you don’t see a kite after its target dies, bubble and fucking run, because chances are your little friend has decided to aggro something patrolling 40 goddamn yards away and all its buddies.

    Yeah, I fucking hate Sra’Vess. Every single other daily hub is easier. I have solo’d dungeon bosses in Cata after the rest of party fell over dead, and *that* was easier. Casual content? Yeah, no.

      1. Leit

        Sra’Vess is only one of four daily hubs for the Shado-pan. Theoretically it cycles between them day by day. (yeah, I believe in their RNG about as much as you believe in smart spawning… got it for an entire week, excepting one jaunt up to the top island.)

        So it is theoretically possible to avoid that hub, and the others are all much, *much* easier. Theoretically.

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