Monthly Archives: February 2013

Decisionating

Flying baby pandas yay!  (Until the Forsaken DK kills them all because Forsaken DKs are generally cranky.)

Flying baby pandas yay!
(Until the Forsaken DK kills them all because Forsaken DKs are generally cranky.)

Putting aside Thermalix and Niremere for the moment (since they count as the mains for their respective factions), now that I think about it, I have four alts in Pandaland.  FOUR.  What am I doing!?  I need to pick one and level her to 90.  You know, “choosing,” that act of making a decision and following through on it?  Yeah, that thing.

Mechalis, the Level 88 Derp Death Knight

Pros: How do you fail at a Death Knight?  (AND you can totally control the ghost pandas in the Shado-pan Monastery!)  I like being the equivalent of a death knight rogue, kinda.  I prowl around the edges of a quest area, pretending I’m not wearing plate.  Then, when the target mob has made the foolish mistake of separating from the others, DEATH GRIP.  After totally killing whatever it is, I then meld back into the shadows, sort of.  It’s more like using a goblin’s natural height to hide behind her surroundings.

Cons: Because she dumped Inscription/herbing a long time ago and only recently picked up mining and blacksmithing, girlfriend can’t mine in Pandaland yet.  Questing past all those cursed Ghost Iron nodes is driving me NUTS.  Otherwise, I have a completely unproven, unfounded suspicion that in Pandaland, the more armor you wear, the harder crap hits you – because it can.  Therefore, I do not look forward to Townlong Steppes or the Dread Wastes.

Ailabeth, the Level 88 Shadow Priest

Pros: Her Shadow routine is something like this:  1.) Summon a mindsquid and have it terrorize anything small and helpless in the vicinity, like critters.  2.) Realize critters don’t give EXP.  3.) Identify a better victim.  4.) Cast Power Word: Shield.  5.) Nuke its brains out while laughing because it totally can’t do any darn thing about it.  Additionally, smirk at any nearby Sha and insult nearby Mogu just because.  6.) Repeat as desired.  How is that not awesome?

Cons: When mobs hit me, it ruins my Levitate.  I actually have to RECAST it!  /whatsupwiththat

Centina, the level 87 Arcane Mage

Pros: Portal hotness.  Actually, have I told you how much I love Crittermorphing all the butterflies in Valley of the Four Winds?  FLYING BABY PANDAS YAY!

Cons: I am a wimpy lazy pansy mage.  You’ll probably find Centina cowering in a hole somewhere, whimpering about how all the things hurt.  Unfortunately for me, standing in one spot and nuking the face off things only works when you’re in dungeons, and the DPS queue is, of course, slow.  (As a side note, I recently learned that I can’t actually say “Slow as molasses in January” anymore, because molasses in January actually moves at 35 MPH and WILL KILL YOU.  The more you know!)

Alexalis, the level 86 Windwakerwalker Monk

Pros: Super survivor, Pandaland style.  Independent and able to quest on her own without cowering in a hole somewhere, whimpering about how all the things hurt. Wields hugeass swords.  Touch of Death.  Rolling.  See that mob way over there?  Flying Serpent Kick TO THE FACE.

Cons:  Alexalis’ only profession is Skinning, mostly to supplement Bombelina’s leatherworking.  You see, once upon a time, I planned on Bombelina hitting 85 long before I even got around to making a monk.  But as it’s turned out, monk is fun and I am a really incompetent rogue, which makes rogue-ing less fun.  (Also, spending a the whole PUG pickpocketing or skinning things is not socially acceptable, which sucks.)  End result: Bombelina is still in the mid 70s and just hit the cusp of Cata leatherworking.  She’ll actually have to level to get further at some point.  Oops.  So basically, WTF DO I DO WITH ALL THIS EXOTIC LEATHER  ALEXALIS IS SENDING OMG NO BANK SPACE.

At this point, I’m leaning towards Ailabeth or Alexalis, because I enjoy playing those classes in a manner that actually approaches the approved rotation.  (My favorite part of mage-ing – running around in circles while casting Arcane Explosion – doesn’t do so well for the DPS.)  Ailabeth has an advantage in that she’s already 88 and hearthed at the Shrine in the Vale.  But swords, guys.  They tempt me.

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Project Platekini Part 1: “Dark Embrace” Set

"Dark Embrace" Set

“Dark Embrace” Set

Class: Warrior, Paladin, Death Knight

H: Not shown | S: Pauldrons of Zul’Farrak | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Warrior’s Embrace | Wa: Winterfall Belt | L: Legguards of Stratholme
G: Diemetradon Plate Gloves | Wr: Not shown | B: Crustacean Stompers

Shield: Crest of Retribution
1h Sword: Crystal Sword

Thoughts: While platekini wouldn’t be realistically functional, it occurred to me that I was ignoring a whole area of transmog possibilities by not using any at all.  The matching metal bra/panties/stockings look by itself doesn’t do much for me, as I like a bit more complexity (or floofy accessories, whichever) to my armor these days.  So here’s the first set in Project Platekini, which is an attempt to find ways to make platekini pieces attractive to me by working them into more elaborate transmog sets.

A lot of ideas I had for this just didn’t look as great on someone who happens to be two feet tall and dark green, mostly due to the way the proportions of boots and gloves change.  I really couldn’t envision Niremere wearing these either, given her genesis in the human starting zones (WTF GOLDSHIRE WTB MANA BOMB) and subsequent personality development away from them.  She’s ever the practical type – and you’ll never convince me that anybody would WANT to wear platekini in, say, Northrend.  Putting aside the zombie infestation issue for a moment, can we say, “hello, hypothermia?”

Violaryn, as a blood elf, looks good in most things (so there IS a benefit to weighing five pounds!), and practicality is not part of the picture, since she was born to wear platekini.  She will SUFFER for her fashion, thank you.

p.s., I still maintain that platekini in general is fine, as long as men can wear platekini too … which Blizzard has been sadly delinquent on!  C’mon Blizz, need more skimpy outfits for teh menz.

p.p.s., ever notice how few gnomes and pandas you see in platekini?

p.p.s.s. BIG FEET ARE BEAUTIFUL GOSH DARN IT

Gara’jal the Spirit Binder

Don't Worry, GuysPuntable Marmot's Got This

Don’t Worry, Guys
Puntable Marmot’s Got This

I’d like to show you a nice shot of Garajal’s dead body as a testament to the fact that we killed him, but … this is the best I got.

He's dead, Jim.

He’s dead, Jim.

A guildmate got a little excited during the fight, see, and went overboard.  Just a little.

Well, if we weren't sure that he was dead before, we're 100% sure he's dead now.

Well, if we weren’t sure that he was dead before, we’re 100% sure he’s dead now.

“Lowbie Druid” Set

"Lowbie Druid" Set

“Lowbie Druid” Set

“Lowbie Druid” Set

Class: Druid (with staff), Rogue, Monk

H: Tracker’s Headband | S: Forest Leather Mantle | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Dervish Tunic | Wa: Huntsman’s Belt | L: Hawkeye’s Breeches
G: Gloves of Restoration | Wr: Not shown | B: Merciful Greaves

Staff: Staff of the Verdant Circle

Thoughts: This low-level leather set came about because I was so freaking desperate to have Daschela wearing something that matched, but she was not yet to the levels where a lot of cool looking leather armor becomes available.  I might’ve gone a little overboard with the matchy matchy, but you can’t deny that I have a unified color scheme. (And also that it’s mostly AH/dungeon drops, therefore, it’s easy to get.  Yay easy!)

What I really want to know is this: why are all the low level leather shoulders so hideous?  They’re almost always these enormous, plain, oversized shoulderpads that are invariably in some oogly color combo (like that olive and brown).  Dasch is only wearing these because she had no other options that would even remotely go.

Now that I think about it, I guess it doesn’t matter. These days, Dasch spends most of her time as a tree.

Vote Kicking in LFD

TL;DR VERSION:

Ideal world: all people in the party respond to each other, thus coming to a pace that is acceptable to all.  Tank pulls faster than he or she was before, so the guilty puller stops pulling sheeyit when that’s the tank’s job.  Everybody learns their roles, gets to 90 and performs admirably in raids, instances and whatnot.

Real world: Tank pulls faster than he or she was before, but the guilty puller keeps on pulling sheeyit when that’s the tank’s job because he or she wants to go faster still and there is no consequence for not working at the pace others would prefer.  Tank quits tanking since DPS is going to tank anyway, healer develops psychological issues, DPS lols and says “I can [insert role here] better than you.”  Everybody ever QQs over LFD wait times and the jerks who ruin the community.

Or they just pull crap and dump the party.

Some of this stems from the LFD votekick, which is the only immediate and effective reprisal for idiocy.  Its mysterious inner workings seem to be something like this: if there’s a group where someone is disrupting the party equilibrium and/or getting everybody killed, I cannot kick him if the system deems me to be too votekick happy and/or if he’s already been kicked ninety million times and/or anybody is in combat which we probably are because the person pulls crap ahead of the party (which is probably why I wanted to kick him in the first place), and/or while there’s a loot roll going on for even the merest green which is made worse when said person is AFK and, you know, not rolling.

There may even be secret rules like, “You can’t kick Trollolololman on his aunt’s birthday” for all we know.  Also, if it takes like ten minutes to complete the dungeon but you can’t kick Jerkface for another fifteen minutes, you’ve just experienced the very definition of futility – that is, votekick has absolutey no useful result whatsofreakingever.

This is stupid.  It’s time for a new setup where we let people kick people – in essence, let people police themselves.

More Words Version Behind the Cut

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Meanwhile, In Pandaland

So I regularly hear guildmates complain about their daily Shado-pan companions.Thermalix, of course, has better things to complain about.

So I regularly hear guildmates complain about their daily Shado-pan companions.
Thermalix, of course, has better things to complain about.

Having knocked the Tillers, Golden Lotus and Dominance Offensive off her list of reps to work on when she feels inclined to do so, Thermalix elected to start making friends with the Shado-pan.  Folks recommended going Klaxxi, but the bugs just don’t have awesome hats waiting for you at Exalted like the Shado-pan do.  Since I am incapable of doing all the dailies + running LFR + running everything ever all the time, I will never have enough Valor to purchase what I need.  Therefore, I’m going to work towards what I want, and what I want is a damn fancy ninja hat.

In other news, Alexalis hit level 85 and marched off to Pandaland to join Mechalis, Ailabeth and Centina, who have been chilling there at levels 88, 88 and 87, respectively.  (Having completed the Dynamic Duo achievement with Niremere, I just can’t seem to pick a third alt to raise to 90.)

While Alexalis was in the Jade Forest hating on the water sprites (the way they jump from one foot to the other is especially grating), I happened to notice something interesting.

Alexalis Takes PandalandDisregard the corpses in the corner.  OH I KILL MYSELF.

Alexalis Takes Pandaland
Disregard the corpses in the corner. OH I KILL MYSELF.

But look closer …

Alexalis Takes PandalandThat's the thing about this joint ... you  never want to look closer.

Alexalis Takes Pandaland
That’s the thing about this joint … you never want to look closer.

What are those sprites DOING?  Who knew that sprites were in an all out war with warlock imps?  Maybe one day, warlocks everywhere will wake up and discover that each and every last imp in the world has been squished into oblivion.  In a good world, that’d be the end of it.  In the strange twisted realm that I am sure these water sprites occupy, they would insist on becoming every warlock’s new best friend.

DECISIONS DECISIONSOr maybe ... BOTH.

DECISIONS DECISIONS
Or maybe … BOTH.

STOP DROP AND ROLL (or not)

Natural BalanceIf it weren't for me, you'd have no idea how cool you are.

Natural Balance Wat
If it weren’t for me, you’d have no idea how cool you are.

You know, I think somebody mentioned OMFG TREE FORM to me at some point in the past, but I just didn’t understand.  I thought, oh, trees.  That’s nice, I guess.  I was having trouble dealing with elf form and bear form and irradiated seal form and cat form and boomchicken form and travel form and and and ALL TEH FORMZ, so there just wasn’t any room left for being a treant.  It was like, help!  I’m drowning in my toolbars!  I have no time to turn into YET ANOTHER THING.

Then I abandoned my boomkin alt spec, more or less decided that I preferred paladerp tanking over beartanking, and realized that I am as equally incompetent a kitty as I am hopeless a rogue.  In fact, I spent most of my time looking like a regular night elf.  So when Fel purchased the Glyph of the Treant for Daschela, I said sure – why not?  I’ll use it.

There was a brief moment where I realized that I was now the quality of derp itself, given form and motion.  And then Fel set me on fire.

I'M ON FIRE LOL!Mr. Turtle finds it hard to cope with my enthusiasm.

I’M ON FIRE LOL!
Mr. Turtle finds it hard to cope with my enthusiasm.

I remain somewhat disappointed that I don’t set fire to other things, like the wooden chair, the wooden floor, most of Stormwind, or even my fellow druids.  But despite that, I had to share my joy in conflagration with others.  I set up a campfire and I got three druidtrees running around screaming in the Trade District.  We discovered that there is, in fact, a 2 minute cooldown on making a basic campfire.  Seriously.

PREACH ITWe might've gotten a little excited.

PREACH IT
We might’ve gotten a little excited.

I’m not sure if the holiday event hearts work with or against our fiery foretelling of DOOM and DESTRUCTION and stuff.  On the one limb, derp.  On the other, I’M A TREE ON FIRE!  ❤

p.s. SHAKE DEM ROOTS

Shake It Like a Polaroid PictureI can actually dance. But dancing like this is SO much more fun.

Shake It Like a Polaroid Picture
I can actually dance. But dancing like this is SO much more fun.