Many Dinos, Tame Them

New in Patch 5.2: Thermalix Spendtrue, DINOSAUR HUNTARD.

MISSION: DINOThere will be Direhorns.

MISSION: DINO
There will be Direhorns.

Well, that’s not exactly true.  Thermalix had the white Devilsaur from Un’goro Crater for a while back in the day, but they parted ways some time ago when Therm had to clear out some stable space for a monkey in a fez.  These days, Therm wanted one of those scarlet Direhorns, bigger than a Cadillac and redder than hell.  While they don’t come with all the bells and whistles any good goblin expects, Therm’s an engineer – she can handle that.

In any case, I’m getting ahead of myself.  Let’s return to the beginning of the 5.2 patch.

Thermalix’s first priority was obtaining the farm.  This was much easier than she had anticipated.  Given the amount of work involved in opening the place up to its full potential, she was expecting it to be handed over for only the most thankless of tasks.  Say, something like having to wine and dine all the Tillers all over again, or maybe offering bribes of hard-to-obtain items that ONLY drop from mushans which have been exposed to the Sha of Anger for five seconds or less, or even offing Yoon by orchestrating a mysterious Exploding Master Plow accident (much as she liked the panda, if he’s gotta go, he’s gotta go).  Farms are serious business, guys.  And plows OBVIOUSLY blow up all the time!  Everybody knows plow fatalities are common.  Fortunately for Yoon, however, Therm’s worries were unfounded.  Dude just walked off.

FOOL.  ENDLESS PROFIT IS MIIIIIINE!

Or maybe not, but a supply of carrots is.

Farm For The HordeI can plant four things at once now!  World of Harvest Mooncraft, amirite?

Farm For The Horde
I can plant four things at once now! World of Harvest Mooncraft, amirite?

Now, back to the thundar and dinos.

Thermalix arrived on the Isle of Thunder to find Lorthie* and the Sunreavers in need of assistance.  While they’re strong enough to create fancy magic invisibility domes that you can’t ride any type of mount in (this seems like an oversight somehow), they were having a problem with Mogu.  And dead things.  And trolls.  And Saurok.  You’d think we were having problems with EVERYTHING on this dang island … oh wait, actually, yeah, we are.

InvisibilityNothing to see here.

Invisibility
Nothing to see here.

Let me summarize this island for you: Blah blah blah dailies.  Also, lightning.

Now that we’re done with that useful and insightful description, it’s DINOTIME!  To the Land Before Time Jurassic Park Isle of Giants!

As it turns out, you need a fancy tome of learnin’ to know how to tame Direhorn-type dinos, even though you were totally able to tame Devilsaur-type dinos back in Un’goro Crater without having to get your Masters degree in Huntering.  While I say a dino is a dino, Blizzard either wanted to make some form of awesomesaur available to every hunter spec, or they simply wanted to use the word “Dinomancy.”

After careful CCing because OWW OMG WTF (apparently you aren’t supposed to fight the Dinomancers alone),  I was victorious.  It certainly helped that while Dinomancers do heal THEMSELVES, they don’t heal EACH OTHER.  Still, I don’t know how long it took, nor how many Dinomancers fell to my bow, mostly because I was too busy trying to grab some dang Dinomancers for myself.  There was a surprising amount of competition!  [Edit: It also helps not to pull all the dinosaurs ever, just sayin’.]

MISSION ACCOMPLISHEDWell, mostly, anyway.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well, mostly, anyway.

Truly, he is a magnificent creature.

Do you ever feel small and insignificant?Enormous, as any awesomesaur ought to be.

Do you ever feel small and insignificant?
Enormous, as any awesomesaur ought to be.

* I’ve got some campaign slogans for him!

LORTHIE FOR WARCHIEF 2013: HE WEARS THE PANTS IN THIS FACTION
LORTHIE FOR WARCHIEF 2013: ONLY ONE MAN IN THE HORDE HAS HAIR ENOUGH TO TAKE ON VARIAN WRYNN’S PONYTAIL

Secretly, I’d still vote for Sassy Hardwrench or Basic Campfire.

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14 thoughts on “Many Dinos, Tame Them

    1. Prinnie Powah Post author

      Thanks! Right now he’s named Werk ’cause he is werking it, but I’m debating finding some synonym for “large” and going with that instead. Or maybe I should just call him Cadilac, ’cause that’s LIKE Cadillac but one letter off, so it’s obviously not a reference to something that isn’t in the game. Totally.

      Reply
  1. Leit

    Howsabout: “Lor’themar Theron, actually on the fuckin’ front lines. Where’s YOUR faction leader?”

    Then again, probably just annoy the gobbios who haven’t seen their glorious slavemas- er, leader in 75 or so levels.

    Reply
    1. Prinnie Powah Post author

      I have a faction leader?

      I’m positive Gallywix is just in this for the lolz (for himself and whoever comes up with story lines). Even before this, I never entirely understood why people always said that Lor’themar never got to do anything. I mean, guys, HE’S BEAUTIFUL. Look at GALLYWIX, and THEN tell me Lor’themar doesn’t do anything! Now he’s got fabulous hair AND he’s a major player in the plot! It’s not fair.

      I still say Sassy Hardwrench would make an awesome goblin faction leader. Girlfriend teaches you how to commit insurance fraud with style! You KNOW she’d get sheeyit done.

      Reply
      1. Leit

        Bein’ serious for a moment… people said Lor’themar never got to do anything because he never got to do anything. Gallywix may have pulled a vanishing act shortly after the goblin isles, but at least he was a constant presence, even if as an antagonist.

        Lor’themar got two quests – one which basically told new belves “gtfo to undercity nao” at the end of their questline, and the other at the very end of the Broken Hilt storyline in Wrath. Neither of which most people would have seen.

        Goblins have the enviable position of being probably the only race that doesn’t need a faction leader. Entrepeneurial spirits, mentally resilient, get along with pretty much everyone, what do they need protection from? They’re always looking out for number one!

        Reply
        1. Prinnie Powah Post author

          “Lor’themar got two quests – one which basically told new belves “gtfo to undercity nao” at the end of their questline, and the other at the very end of the Broken Hilt storyline in Wrath. Neither of which most people would have seen.”

          Wait, that makes no sense.

          1.) Lorthie tells blood elves to go to the Undercity at the end of their questline
          2.) Practically half the Horde is comprised of blood elf players

          So how can most people have missed it? (I’ll agree with the Broken Hilt storyline though, because I have no idea what you’re talking about.) Actually, wait, hold on. I NEVER finished the blood elf story. EVER. Somewhere around Ghostlands I go LOLZ BYE GUYS, so … never mind.

          It’d make so much more sense if goblins could choose which faction to join, with Steamwheedle being Alliance and Bilgewater being Horde. It’d also be awesome if, when first dumped in Kalimdor, they dropped you at Bilgewater Harbor and prepped you for the big GO TO ORG AND MEET THE WARCHIEF visit. Bilgewater Harbor, as it stands, is almost totally useless.

          Reply
          1. Leit

            It’d be more awesome if you could make like the belves and skip the whole hoo-ha, heading straight out to Tirisfal. Yeah, what you said – belves may be dirt common, but most don’t make it through Ghostlands before seeking professional hel^W^W greener pastures, especially in this era of heirlooms and reduced xp requirements and Ghostlands generally being as fresh and pleasant as the slime under a back-alley garbage can.

            Broken Hilt refers to a storyline from Wrath that was started by finding the eponymous quest-bearing item in an HC and which culminated with infusing the completed item in the restored Sunwell. The hilts still drop, and they sometimes show up on the BMAH or even the normal AH. The questline was sort of similar to a legendary questline, only much much easier and just required a few HC runs rather than farming [raid of choice] for months.

            Reply

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