Needs More Nerf

I have heard a crapton (yes, a crapton) of bad things about Durumu, whom I deemed “the Soul Crusher” for his ability to wipe LFR groups over and over and over again.  If it wasn’t someone complaining or flat out losing their mind, it was their DBM addon telling me that they wiped for the nth time.  I was told it got nerfed.  I was told it was still fatally terrifying.  I finally decided that I really ought to try it, though not for the ranged weapon (which of course didn’t drop) – no, I was gonna do this for JOURNALISM blogging.  Anything supposedly so catastrophic was going to be GREAT in the worst possible way.

Are There Snails In Here? They gave me nightmares last time.

Are There Snails In Here?
They gave me nightmares last time.

Although friends kept trying to explain the mechanics (beams of light, maze, death) to me, I had to first make sure we weren’t going to get ambushed by any murderous gastropods.  SOMEBODY has to think of these things.

Since the Halls of Flesh-Shaping part of LFR has been out since the 2nd, I was a little startled to find that there were still other people who had no freaking clue what they were doing.  I don’t know why.  You’d think I’d know by now that I have no monopoly on ignorance.

Oh Good Note to self: if I ever tank this, keep this information to myself no matter how true it is.

Oh Good
Note to self: if I ever tank this, keep this information to myself no matter how true it is.

I guess it’s good that he was honest? As a side note, I’ve always been taught never to admit this sort of stuff – you don’t want to draw attention to yourself, especially if that attention is going to be the “OMFG YOU FAIL AND YOU KILLED US ALL” kind.

After removing all the trash, the legend himself appeared.  I rather like his little hat.   Even eyeballs with tentacles and dental problems need good hats.

Durumu Needs Caffeine Badly Twenty pots of coffee ought to do it.

Durumu Needs Caffeine Badly
Twenty pots of coffee ought to do it.

Initially, I tried to remember all the floating eye type bosses in the Legend of Zelda series who resembled Durumu.  After giving up on that exercise, I mentally prepped myself to run through some sort of maze – I was thinking walls, rats, running back and forth as I bounced off dead ends, etc.  I also wondered if, somehow, the encounter would show that Blizzard designers were taking the whole trapped-like-rats-in-a-maze thing a bit far.

Potions and flasks?  Check.  Food?  Check.  Healthstone?  Check.  I clicked “Ready.”

At first there were just some beams of light rotating around in different primary colors.  These supposedly reveal adds, but I never actually saw the adds myself, possibly because I was too busy trying to keep an eye out for the maze thing.  I DID think about making a color wheel joke right about here, but decided to pass on the opportunity.  Then came the bad.

IT'S ALL ON FIRE IT HURTS

IT’S ALL ON FIRE
IT HURTS

GTFO told me I was standing in bad.  DBM also informed me that I needed to move.  I was already going because OMFG OW OW OW OW OW OH CRAP, but it didn’t make a damn bit of difference – there wasn’t anywhere to go to that wasn’t bad.  ANYWHERE NEAR ME WAS BAD.  The bad hurt like hell, too, so I didn’t succeed in finding a safe place.

You know what the bad reminded me of?  This one time we failed in Dragonsoul:

DON'T STAND IN FIRE MOVE U NOOB

DON’T STAND IN FIRE
MOVE U NOOB

There were a few differences, of course.  There weren’t any Aspects to complain while we were the ones being burned alive, but they were more than adequately replaced by fellow members of the LFR group who couldn’t seem to believe that people would actually DIE after having used a health stone and a potion.  The Dragonsoul fire-fire was easier to avoid while there was space to do so.  And we may have been getting torched by magical dragon breath, but it didn’t hurt quite as much as the nasty dark purple stuff in the Halls.

Wait, What? THAT was the maze?

Wait, What?
THAT was the maze?

Lastly, the fire had no pretensions of being a maze.  Let’s take a moment to discuss what a maze is.  They are puzzles!  Challenges!  Mazes have many paths to choose from that may take you to the end or take you nowhere at all.  Note that word: CHOOSE.  You can’t choose when you’re dead.

For the sake of comparison, here are some examples of mazes:

This Is A Maze On Wikipedia

This Is A Maze
On Wikipedia

And:

This Is A Maze Rather fancy actually.

This Is A Maze
Rather fancy actually.

And here’s Durumu’s “maze” …

Not A Maze But possibly some sick, twisted vision of one.

Not A Maze
But possibly some sick, twisted vision of one.

When is a maze not a maze?  When:

  • there aren’t any choices you can make
  • there is no “end” or destination to get to other than “alive”
  • it’s just an enormous puddle of bad
  • you’re dead
Lest You Think You're Safe Found the clear spot?  Good for you.  Now die.

Lest You Think You’re Safe
Found the clear spot? Good for you. Now die.

I’m TOLD that the opening starts to the left or the right of the boss, but the thing is, if you AREN’T ALREADY THERE or aren’t EXTREMELY close, you’re effed.  And sometimes if you are there – I did find the clear space once by accident – you’re effed anyway.  Let’s say you live, though.  You aren’t really in a maze so much as you’re following something you can’t see and praying to Gawd the opening it leaves doesn’t vanish on you because you got a little too far behind.  If it does, YOU DIE.

GET IN LINE Order, people, order!

GET IN LINE
Order, people, order!

Thanks to the nerfing and the fancy buff you get for failing, we only wiped two or three times.  I’d argue that we call a spade a spade though.  This is a hot mess and needs more nerf.  Either make the bad do less damage, make it the bad appear more slowly so you have time to escape it, and/or make the safe spot more obvious.  Think General Erudax in Grim Batol, where a glowy swirly shows you where it’s safe to stand.  You’ve got a handful of seconds to get there while he casts, but if you don’t QUITE make it, you still have more than a few seconds of life to try.  You aren’t effed unless you’re on the far side of the room, half dead already or just really lost and confused.

Above all, we should not call this sheeyit a maze, because it ain’t.

Primordius was fun, although he made me sad because he was in pain.  Obviously, he’s kind of S.O.L. in any number of ways, including being second in line after Durumu.  I’d say about one tenth of my brain was focused on Primordius, while eight tenths were still screaming OMGWFTNOTAMAZE and the final one tenth was wondering if I got any good screenshots of Durumu.

Dark Animus was TACTICS EL OH EL WTF GUYS UM OK.

I Have A Bad Feeling About This p.s.,  running through the raid with this red sheeyit on your tail is an easy way to irritate others, even if it is fatal.

I Have A Bad Feeling About This
p.s., running through the raid with this red sheeyit on your tail is an easy way to irritate others, even if it is fatal.

In my lame defense, I thought the red sheeyit was only going to hurt me, not everybody else.  (Therefore, if I got out of the raid’s general vicinity, it didn’t matter how I got there.)  Oops?

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18 thoughts on “Needs More Nerf

  1. wowstorylines

    Now, I think that I’ll slowly work my way into LFR for this one after that description. I’ll admit that I was laughing like hell at it and knowing full well that I would be dying every couple of seconds. Good screen shots and good fight explanations. Thanks again for the laugh and the education – I would still be looking for the “maze” that really isn’t there – now I know.

    Reply
    1. Prinnie Powah Post author

      One of my friends says that there IS a maze, I’m just too damn short to see it.

      I still say if it was a maze, you’d have a more than a choice between “alive” and “OW OH GOD DEAD.”

      Reply
  2. Beetlezombie

    You have the incredible talent to make bad things sound like a fun experience.

    Fire killing you? = fun
    Mazes killing you? = fun
    Laserbeams killing you? = fun
    Giant tentacles killing you? = fun
    No idea what you’re doing killing you? = fun

    I can’t imagine what it must be like to be in a party with you? Oh wait yes I can, FUN :-).

    However, in case I’m reading all your shiat wrong and in no way this is fun to you then … euhm … just keep pressing Arcane Shot?

    Reply
  3. Leit

    It’s just another sad case of blizzard assuming that pugs have way more co-ordination than is actually the case. If you follow the tactics – run to the outside for lingering gaze so that eye sores don’t drop all over the maze, mark one person and have them call for stacking for the maze, find and kill adds quickly – then it’s not that bad of a fight. The problem is if you’re following the tactics then you’re basically doing the 25N version of the fight with a bit less damage. THAT IS TOO FUCKING COMPLEX FOR PUGS, PEOPLE!

    Problem I have is if you run for the stacking point from the wrong side and get there a *leetle* too late, you have to run through the beam o’ death. Which doesn’t tell you when it looks like it’s active as opposed to when it is fully armed and operational.

    Reply
    1. Prinnie Powah Post author

      When it comes to LFR versions of raids, it’d be nice if things got simplified to a point where people following a general “role” with common sense measures can complete the fight – i.e., I shoot Durumu in the face and don’t stand in sheeyit, healers heal people who aren’t standing in sheeyit, tank tanks sheeyit. While that may make it little different from a heroic, it’s about the only way I can think of to cope with the fact that there’s little coordination beyond that in the random group. Even if you got several guild members together and then queued for LFR, you don’t know the majority of people you’re in the pug with.

      Sometimes people will “take charge,” and sometimes tanks have copy/pasted macros or addons that yell instructions at people. But there’s no cohesive sense of unity in play, no social leverage to use – so it’s quite likely DPS #1 will decide that the tank who is saying “Stand there” is full of sheeyit and is not his momma, so he’s gonna do what he wants.

      As a side note, I tend to get spatially disoriented in game (this is why I hated the Oculus – it wasn’t the inability of people to use different colored dragons … I just couldn’t cope with the extra dimension of up-and-down). I hate running around aimlessly though, so I typically will take as long as I need to take to figure out where I am in relation to where I need to be, and then go. My usual method is to find something distinctive in the surroundings and use it as a point of orientation. Something as derpy as putting in a broken wall that looks different and happens to be the side you should stand on is extremely useful for upping my reaction time. Uuuunfortunately I recall Durumu’s room being round and pretty much the same all the way around, and the purple toxic fog of doom hurts too much for me to take those extra seconds to figure out where I need to be.

      So I either die, or get lucky and THEN die. YAY!

      Reply
      1. Leit

        You’re *that* hunter that disengages off Lumber Mill in Arathi, then?

        The orienting point is supposed to be the beam… you’re meant to check which side isn’t currently covered in drain-hair carpet, then run to that. Good luck have fun if you’re melee and were killing an add miles out on the opposite side, though.

        “So I either die, or get lucky and THEN die. YAY!”
        doesntmattergotlaid.jpg
        (had to be done :D)

        Reply
        1. Prinnie Powah Post author

          While I haven’t Disengaged THERE, I am positive I have Disengaged off precipices SOMEWHERE.

          There was a beam?

          That beam needs to be painted orange or something. Maybe put some flashing lights on it?

          Reply
          1. Leit

            The beam is bright purple, because apparently Durumu ain’t so good at colour co-ordination and decided to just stick with what works. It does have green hilights, but its two most notable features are that a) it stretches the entire room’s length and b) it will kill you if you touch it while active, but there’s no warning between the “oh hey guys get on the other side of this beam for reals like” phase and the point where it actually activates and kills you.

            The whole point of the maze run is not so much to avoid the purple floor-scum – which will in fact still kill you – as it is to stay ahead of the beam o’ instant corpsification.

            Reply
            1. Prinnie Powah Post author

              Oh, was that the purple eye laz0r thing that he had going on there?

              I thought you meant a beam on the floor. I was like, “I STUDIED THAT FLOOR. THERE WAS NO BRIGHT PURPLE BEAM!”

              Reply
              1. Leit

                Yeah, he does the Ruby Sanctum lazor thing. For some reason those addons that spam who was killed by what tend to report it as “[player] was killed by Death”.

                LFR really does need a nice big “STACK HERE” marker.

                Reply
                1. Prinnie Powah Post author

                  Better than being publically outed for being murdered by a GIANT KILLER SNAIL.

                  Because I will always stand behind the boss a good way away unless instructed otherwise, I would approve of a gigantic marker.

                  Reply
  4. Pingback: How To Survive Durumu’s Maze | That Was an Accident!

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