When I think of Pinnacle of Storms, the first thing I want to know is if Blizzard REALLY thought that name through. On the one hand, P.O.S. is perfect because you will die and your gold will disappear and so will your faith in humanity. On the other, that sort of acronym showing up at the last, supposedly most awesomesauce place is kind of awkward.
Let’s start with Iron Qon, the guy who reminds me of mount collectors. He has TOO MANY mounts and he can’t choose just one of the bunch, so he shows up with three in his hotkeys. (He hasn’t learned those fancy macros where you can bind more than one mount to a button.) Anyhoo, the LFR group helps Qon make a decision by killing the crap out of each one of the elemental Quilen he has. Eventually, when you run through his entire stable, he’s forced to fight you on foot. I’m sure he cursed every second of it, like how I do when I really want to fly to avoid aggro because I need to get someplace, but I can’t, because Blizzard wants me to see the world.
Here’s the thing, though. Right before the fight, one of our two tanks dropped. We queued again to bring in another tank because duh, but one did not appear. People became impatient and charged Qon JUST BECAUSE. Unfortunately, the LFR queue thinger stops completely while you are in combat, which meant that finding another tank took even longer, which in turn meant people became even more impatient, even after we wiped. If you get enough stacks of Determination, it doesn’t matter whether you have two tanks or not LOLRITE? It was like a circular reference in Excel, just with higher repair costs.
While I’m speaking of going in circles, OH MY GAWD WHY ARE THERE MORE TORNADOS HAAALLPPP! Oh wait, these just stun you? I guess that’s fine, then.
Mercifully, there was a healer who actually had a decent tank off spec. He (she?) saved the day by willingly tanking the fight for the first time right then and there, which prevented us from running at Qon endlessly because we were bored. (Hey guys, has anyone heard of teleporting out and doing other things that allow you to LIVE while we wait? No?)
Qon drops a ranged weapon. Of course, it didn’t drop for Therm. I swear to Gawd I’m going to find a spear or something and be a melee huntard. See, I even practiced my huntanking:
Next up were the Twin Consorts, who somehow manage to have long, lucious wavy locks despite the fact that they’re made of freaking stone. I already had lots of issues with these bosses, but I was doing pretty good at keeping all my raging feminist thoughts to myself. Buuut then we had some jokes …
Fortunately for all concerned, a tank pulled at the exact moment a friend called, and DPSing with one hand while holding the phone in the other left very few fingers available for typing in all caps. Fortunately for ME (since I don’t particularly feel like arguing with almost all of a LFR group), all the capslock I committed was to my party itself, not the instance chat.
It was the easiest fight in the whole joint, which OF COURSE was an opening for this:
Har har har. C’mon, people, I know it’s LFR, but you can do better than that.
I was feeling generally irritated by this point, and in addition had been informed by multiple screaming people that Lei Shen or Mr. Thunduar or whatever his name is actually requires coordination and sheeyit that is all but impossible with the random nature of a LFR group. Has Durumu taught us nothing? THERE’S NO WAY, THERE’S JUST NO WAY. So I left. I’m gonna wait for him to get nerfed, and I’m clearly not the only one with that plan.
Speaking of, I somehow feel as though Pandaland’s point itself got nerfed with this dude and the Zandalari. Yes, it’s a nice, neat little turn of story for a people who got effed over by the Cataclysm to fight the hell back against the world by resurrecting a dead guy. It’s just that I read so much crap about how the plot and the bosses of Pandaria were different, because they weren’t some Obvious Other. No, they were the Sha, and the Sha are actually ourselves, our own negativity and our own overpowering strength. Face yourself! And now you get a burly half naked dude with control over thunder? Bah.