“Derp vs Derp,” or, “In Which Prinnie Finds Hope”

Fel Reaver Ruins, Eye of the Storm.

Her fellow Hordies left Therm and her pet alone, just like always.

She should’ve been used to it by now, but Therm was still far less composed than Roffles the  Zen Master Goat.  Thermalix just couldn’t feel comfortable being alone, because “alone” meant she was the ONLY target in the area.  She couldn’t enjoy the silence, because silence sometimes hid a rogue, and rogues always caused sheeyit to go bad real fast for her.  Therm didn’t LIKE sheeyit going bad real fast!  She ran back and forth, tossing flares and traps to keep herself occupied while nervously awaiting the inevitable stun from the back.

Empty Is Good It means the people that might kill me are somewhere else.

Empty Is Good
It means the people that might kill me are somewhere else.

She could see the others fighting over the flag far below, in roads like always. For a moment, she debated yelling something like, “get out of the freaking roads and get another freaking base, Gawd” for amusement’s sake, but instead she decided to avoid drawing attention to herself.  Therm checked the nearby bridge.  It was empty, which was comforting.  Unfortunately for her sense of safety, however, she realized there was a guy on a horse standing right behind her.

Oh.  MY.  GAWD!  A HORSE.  A horse meant Alliance, of course!

The small portion of her brain devoted to logic registered “Death Knight” and “Night Elf,” but could contribute little more.  Therm wheeled around, leaped backwards with Disengage and started shooting.  Muscle memory alone chose Serpent Sting and Concussive Shot.  It had to do this without help because the rest of her mind was busy steeling itself for instant, Gawdawful, agonizing death.  It was coming.  It was going to be swift, merciless and 100% unpleasant.

It took her a moment to realize that the Death Knight wasn’t already gleefully jumping on her poor corpse, brutally smashing her skull into the dirt.  Actually, she still had some health.  Wait, WTF?  She was ALIVE?

As the more of her brain function shifted from “OH GOD GOING TO DIE HELP HELP HELP” to “I HAVE A CHANCE TO SURVIVE THIS,” she began to realize that the Death Knight might actually LOSE.  He definitely wasn’t a regular and/or good PvPer, given the way he sometimes tried to take Roffles out in order to get to her.   She clearly had the DPS advantage if she could keep him at range.  If he used Asphyxiate, she could use Bestial Wrath.  If he Death Gripped her, she could just Disengage.   Concussive Shot and Ice Trap would slow him from getting to her, just like the way she soloed mobs back in the day.  Potions and healthstones had a cooldown of eternity, so if she could keep him from Death Striking pretty much ever … why, she could … she could kill him.

%@#$ YES.

So she Disengaged off the hill to the road below and shot him dead from there.

She kept Fel Reaver Ruins.  She – Thermalix, floortanker extraordinaire – kept it!  She LIVED.  This result apparently didn’t sit so well with her erstwhile opponent, who thought a tower with one defender really OUGHT to fall, especially if that defender was a goblin with a goat for a pet.  He came back – and this time he remembered to bring his undead minion with him.

So Therm shot him some more because what else are you going to do in a situation like that?  Fortunately, Goa and Cal were able to make a visit to Fel Reaver Ruins, and with their PvP weaponry and skills, they greatly assisted her in speeding up the Death Knight’s second demise.

By now the entirety of her brain had come to realize that she was still alive.  The information overloaded her mental capacity to the point where she was capable of saying either “THIS DK HATES MEEEEE” or “as;lfjas;lfja;slfjaslfja;lsfkja;lsf,” but not much else.  She stopped running in circles, mostly because it was really hard to run in circles while simultaneously freaking out about the ENORMOUS RESPONSIBILITIES AND RISKS OF LIVING.  What do you DO if you’re ALIVE!?  What do you DO with yourself if you’re not waiting to resurrect?

It figured that the Death Knight chose this moment to show up again, this time with friends.

Fortunately for Therm, the movement of four or so bodies away from the roads and up to Fel Reaver Ruins (combined with her panicked squeals of “INC FR!! SERIOUSLY!!”) drew attention, and the invaders were followed by three or four members of the Horde who were more experienced in the fine arts of PvP.  Thanks to them, the Alliance players were dead – and Therm was still alive – by the time Cal and Goa were able to come back to save her again.

For one moment, there was understanding.

PvP didn’t flat out suck.  Suddenly, PvP was no longer an insane exercise in futility that could only be mastered by engaging in more of the same.  For once, PvP did not feel like the game was taking a hammer to my fragile glass soul, beating the shards into a fine dust and then forcing me to chew on my soul’s grainy remains.

I actually stood a snowball’s chance in hell.  I could do something.  Maybe not much, and maybe nothing real significant, but something nonetheless.

Good job, Blizzard.  Seriously.

As someone who has never had a PvP gear advantage and as a result someone who gets more or less utterly obliterated over, over and over again, I love the changes with this patch.  I survived one on one against someone of similar (low) skill level.  Mr. DK wasn’t able to rofflestomp me in the face while laughing his ass off.  Now, Mr. DK AND his friends could have and would have rofflestomped me had they not been met with equal force.  A superior PvPer could rofflestomp me still, no problem.  Anybody with an actual PvP weapon could easily kick my ass, patch changes or no.

Healers are totally OP now, they say.  Well, I was never able to put a dent in ’em in the first place, what with that four second fear, shields and so on, so I don’t really see how “now” is worse than “before.”  People with LFR/Raid gear are more OP than they deserve to be, they say.  Like I haven’t effing worked to get this gear, I say.  Go ahead and complain about people showing up in PvE gear – but you won’t hear me whining about the people who run heroics, LFR, actual raids and scenarios in their PvP sets because it’s all they got.  You show up wearing something that’s reasonable for your spec, and it’s good enough.

I, Prinnie, shot a DK and got the killing blow on him twice.  I got those killing blows without fancy PvP gear on, but that didn’t make my two killing blows any less deadly for the DK.  I’m not crowing about my amazing victories here, and these two kills do not make me think I know what I’m doing or am suddenly an actual honest to Gawd PvPer.  They’re hugely important for me, however, and killing blows like these could possibly be important for other PvE folks who would like to try the “other half” of the game.

I could not enjoy PvP before.  About the best I could do was not outright hate it to the point of cussing up a storm while feeling horribly stuck and/or dead in the Eye of the Storm.  Gearing up by getting myself ripped to pieces over and over again just seemed like a really @#$%ing bad unfun waste of time.  How the eff do you learn to PvP if all you do is run in, get stunned, get killed, and spend the next fifteen seconds waiting to res – repeatedly?  It isn’t fun, the experience isn’t useful, and it overall sucked.

I can’t say I enjoy PvP yet – my feelings of bitter angry frustration due to past endless rofflestomping run pretty deep.  Also, my Dinoland battleground will never happen.  But simply “having a chance” of surviving long enough to defeat someone else makes a huge difference in my perspective.  I’m willing to keep trying bit by bit until I suck a little less, because it no longer feels like somebody’s trying to shove a fork in my eye for fun.


19 thoughts on ““Derp vs Derp,” or, “In Which Prinnie Finds Hope”

  1. Navimie

    PvP stories! Love it Prinnie- though it is really interesting to read the perspective of a non PvPer enjoying the patch, as so many pvpers are hating it. I am glad that PvP is now open for those who would like to try it without the frustration of being roflstomped all the time.

    1. Prinnie Powah Post author

      In some ways, I think the hate is justified. I can appreciate arguments that the EFFORT given in the past to get PvP gear now seems devalued. After all, if you forced yourself to go through endless rounds of death to gear up so that you could inflict endless death on people who resemble your past self … only to find that nowadays, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THAT, yeah, you’d be pissed.

      Still, some of the complaints make zero sense to me. I read one comment from someone who was upset about how PvEers in their gear were now more powerful, and how that wasn’t fair. Therefore, if we’re going to be FAIR HERE, PvEers shouldn’t complain when folks show up to raid in their PvP gear.

      Um, yeah? People already do that. Haven’t really seen anybody complain about it yet.

      1. Leit

        The problem that I have with the EFFORT argument is that most of these folks complaining geared up for PvP back in the beginning of Mists, when everyone was more or less on an even footing. Sure, they’ve worked at getting bigger, better PvP gear in the meantime, but for them it was always more or less fair. They were maintaining the curve.

        Meanwhile someone stepping in in 5.2 had basically zero chance. Well, actually, anywhere from where folks were upgrading the original Mists conquest gear. It was a mill of die – rez – die – rez – achieve something! maybe – die – rez.

        I get that high ilvl PvE gear is an advantage now in world PvP, and that some folks justifiably feel the curve is diminished by the relative power of PvE gear being raised. What makes me disregard any argument the PvP folks make, though, is that a lot of it sounds like they’re either pissed at losing the free honor mill or feel that people who weren’t there from the start aren’t dedicated enough and need to pay dues. Like it’s the PvP mafia or some shit.

        1. Neri

          That’s what I don’t understand about the complaints. From everything I have heard, PvE gear will give you an advantage over people in the crafted PvP stuff, but if you’re decked out in conquest gear (Prinnie also mentions this when she talks about how players with the PvP weapon would eat her alive) you will be better. Which, in my mind, is exactly how it should be. The player who has been running LFR for months has put more *effort* into their gear than the person like me who wallet drops for some 458 PvP gear on the AH.

          I think a lot of the whingers haven’t really looked at the changes to PvP power or resillience and haven’t adjusted their gems and enchants accordingly. Also, it’s apparently hip to whine 😛

          1. Leit

            Thing is, LFR gear beats honour gear as well, and honour’s what folks spend a lot of time in. Sure, being downtuned to 496 makes PvE marginally less overwhelming in instanced PvP, but an ilvl difference of 20 is too much to overcome – PvP-specific stats outside of the budget were meant to balance this, but with resi and power being weakened, they don’t really have the edge that they need. Makes honour gear much less valuable. That puts PvE gear above honour in the gearing chain, leading to issues like encouraging PvP players to PvE rather than taking part in BGs etc – or worse, in addition to, adding to the workload.

            Out in the wild it gets even worse. The budget of HC raid gear is a massive advantage in world PvP, even over Conquest. With weaker resi and power, even normal/thunderforged gear is a threat, but it’s the fact that PvP players can be outgeared at their own game that’s making ’em antsy.

            1. Prinnie Powah Post author

              Clearly, we should all just battle naked. PROBLEM SOLVED.

              “That puts PvE gear above honour in the gearing chain, leading to issues like encouraging PvP players to PvE rather than taking part in BGs etc.”

              Lord forbid they try something new?

              1. Leit

                It makes them dependent on two separae gearing systems and gives them double the work if they want to maintain effectiveness. Think the 10/25 burnouts of Wrath.

                1. Prinnie Powah Post author

                  Half of my brain says, “Ok. Since we did just try to change it so PvE players don’t have to do LFR for PvE gear and PvP for PvP gear because doing both sucked, that’s fair.”

                  Then half of my brain is like, “WELCOME TO MY WORLD, MOTHER TRUCKERS! ENJOY LFR! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA.”

                  I may be slightly bitter.

                    1. Leit

                      Ofc. Trade is the fresh source for who is doing what to whose beloved family members. It’s like People magazine,only less depraved and creepy.

                    2. Leit

                      Last time I saw one they were going for the “OH GOD CELLULITE MONSTERS EVERYWHERE” pitch. Fully expect renderings to show up in the next HR Giger artbook.

  2. Neri

    Good work! I’m so glad to hear that the 5.3 changes really have made a difference for people who want to see the PvP side of things without enduring a billion soul crushing defeats because you hit like a wet noodle to even slightly experience what true PvP is about. Perhaps Chenchella will see a revival after all!

    1. Prinnie Powah Post author

      Prior to Patch 5.3, my PvP experiences were:

      1.) Getting corpse camped in Vanilla by max level players while I was a level 16ish rogue on a PvP server
      2.) Getting crushed to itty bitty pieces. A lot. STUN! Face smash. STUN! Didn’t need those kidneys, did you? FEAR! Ha ha ha, I can see your internal organs.
      3.) Waiting to res … waiting to res … lalalalalalala waiting to res …

      None of these things is fun because they each feel hugely unfair and you are almost entirely powerless to stop it.

      In my mind, games like WoW are supposed to be fun. I hate spending fun time on impotent rage and that’s all PvP was for me, which meant that eff that crap, I’m not going to go through that repeatedly to gear up. Maybe if I have a transmog goal, but to spend lots of actual time trying to honestly PvP and whatnot? Hale no.

      For better or worse, PvP and PvE have been fairly insular. There’s some amount of crossover, but it was limited and seemingly a one way street – it was more common for me to interact with people who were first and foremost PvPers but who did PvE content too. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone where it was the other way around. How do you get people like me to cross over, then?

      The changes in 5.3 were really one of the only ways to solve the whole unfun thing. In essence, it gave us a chance to punch somebody back before getting stunned for four seconds, seeing our intestines on the ground in about three or four more seconds, and then having to wait thirty seconds to res at the spirit healer.

      The other choice would have been to send everybody in naked, of course.

      1. Neri

        I wholeheartedly agree. That’s what I loved about the arena tournament servers, everyone starts on a level playing field and gear is a non-issue because you can pick from anything you want from the very start. The matches there are no longer about who has farmed the longest, it’s about which team has the best skill, knows their class well and has the best communication and strategy.

        I would be a vocal advocate for naked PvP if I wasn’t a Troll 😛


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