Noobhealing Lookback

So Much Going On Things can get a little chaotic.

So Much Going On
Things can get a little chaotic.

Healing makes every fight feel far faster to me (until I run out of mana), as I am intensely focused on that task and have an immense dread of seeing stacks of Determination upon my person. It’s not that I mind the wipes, because sometimes sheeyit happens.  I’m just allergic to the jerks who start talking sheeyit in response to repeated ones.

The Secret to Success The One Habit of Highly Successful LFRers

The Secret to Success
The One Habit of Highly Successful LFRers

My cats will tell you that when I am healing, they get no love.  I will, horrifyingly, refuse to even pet them, because I simply can’t sacrifice that much attention (or spare the limb).  As it turns out, I like having to care, because it makes things more interesting … but at the same time, my capacity for caring has its limitations.  There’s only so much I am willing to put myself through, because having to care takes a lot more energy.  I can deal with caring + mechanics, or I can deal with caring + the total whining nincompoops that often show up in LFR, but I can’t deal with all three at once.  So at this point, unless pressed by friends who are looking for a faster queue, I will not heal for:

Terrace of Endless Spring
Reason: Tsulong

I.  Hate.  That “night” phase.  Hate it.  It’s a mana-sucking void of quasi-doom where people either stand in the Sunbeam and drop puddles of fear into it, or they never go into the Sunbeam and the stacks deal increasing amounts of damage while I am getting ever lower on mana.  It’s not impossible, and my best buddy Tremor Totem helps out, but it’s not fun, either.  Somewhere between the rising sense of “OMG, OOM” and praying for the DPS to kill faster plzkthx, I got a passive-aggressive thought going, “Well, I SAW ’em make a healthstone, so they should USE IT.”  This inevitably collides with a sudden realization that I am glad I don’t actually know how many stacks of the debuff everybody has, because then I’d get depressed.

I hate having to heal Tsulong too.  FIRST you put me through the wringer with constant raid-wide damage that increases with each stack of the debuff, and NOW you want me to heal this mother trucking NPC too?  Look, I say we heal him to death with swords some more.  What does he actually do when he’s not terrified of the dark anymore (because we beat the sheeyit out of him), anyway?  I STILL DON’T KNOW.

On the upside, healing Sha of Fear is easy as … well, taking candy from a baby doesn’t do it justice, because the baby cries and throws a fit.

Forgotten Depths
Reason: Tortos

@#$%ing ninety million @#$%ing turtles and ninety million @#$%ing bats and the turtles ricochet EVERY-FREAKING-WHERE and they interrupt me ALL THE TIME and it’s just, AUGH, GAWD I CAN’T STAND IT I HATE MY LIFE CASTING CRAP SHOULDN’T BE THIS HARD.  Yo, I’m gonna Riptide you and toss out a totem, but that’s about it until Spiritwalker’s Grace is off cooldown.  Stop standing in sheeyit, will you?  Oops, there goes the bat tank.  Well, @#$%, there goes the raid, the bats are chewing everybody’s faces off.  @#$@ing turtles.  @#$^ing bats.

Bleeping Turtles, Bleeping Bats THEY'RE EVERYWHERE

Bleeping Turtles, Bleeping Bats

Halls of Flesh-Shaping
Reason: Durumu

Because being dead does such wonders for your numbers.

Purple BS I agree.  Of course, in stopping to take this shot, I died.

Purple BS
I agree. Of course, in stopping to take this shot, I died.

Pinnacle of Storms
Reason: Lei Sheeeeeeeeyit

I’ll be honest: I haven’t tried to heal this one again after the last time.  I can’t bring myself to do it because healing the Lei Shen fight just seems about as fun as jamming your hand into a hot toaster.  If it’s not me feeling antsy about my numbers to begin with, it’s me dreading the fact that I’m an obvious target for sniping because my numbers are, “at this stage of the game,” considered le suck.  As DPS, my numbers can be le suck and little to no attention will be paid to me, unless:

  • I screw up in an epic manner, such as the rogue who Shadowsteps off the platform somehow
  • The LFR wiped and people want somebody to blame it on, but the tanks are capable and the healers say they were healing, so everybody below a certain DPS threshold is a target
  • I was a jerk and pulled before everybody was ready or even back from the last wipe

Frankly, this can be a huge pro in the favor of DPSing, even if the DPS spec has the longest queue.

p.s., Did you realize that there’s “ham” in “shaman” …?  No WONDER I like it!

7 thoughts on “Noobhealing Lookback

  1. myriade

    Purple BS is the WORST, ughughugh.

    I kinda like healing Lei Shen though. I think it’s ’cause he’s given me that shiny winged offhand twice now.

    …Or y’know, I could just be a taaaaaad bit insane. 😀

    1. Prinnie Powah Post author

      OMFG purple BS. I *still* say that for LFR, they either need to scale back on the purple BS pain, OR they need to get rid of the damned laser. Why do I say this? Because when you have both, most LFRs will lose a quarter to half the people on the first maze phase. The purple BS being so dang BS-y gives you NO time to react before you’re dead, and the laser is just like a slap in the face when you have FINALLY GOTTEN TO THE OPEN PART OF THE MAZE OMG I’M GOING TO LIVE oh wait no.

      I’d like to dual-wield the shiny winged offhand.

      1. myriade

        EXACTLY why I refuse to queue for that part in LFR ever anymore except to unlock Pinnacle on an alt. My main needs the Titan things for the legendary, but I swear that wing in particular brings out the WORST snobs. (“YOU DIE ON MAZE YOU SUCK BUT OH AOE ON DARK ANIMUS IS THE WAY TO GO WOOHOO”) No, just no. Pinnacle drops them too and that’s good enough for me.

        I would love Blizzard forever if they really did let us DW that offhand. Wings, dammit. WINGS.

  2. kamaliaetalia

    Hmm, I’m kind of the opposite. I feel more comfortable about queueing for LFR (or Heroics LFD) as a Healer than as DPS. My Warrior has had the ilevels for Heart of Fear LFR for a couple of weeks now, but I’ve been chickening out of doing it. I haven’t taken the time yet to practice her rotation at a target dummy, and the numbers I produce doing dailies are pretty awful.

    I kind of like Tsulong, but yeah, the Night phase is a pain.

    I finally got a Forgotten Depths queue that *wasn’t* already past Tortos the other week, and I found that fight to be pretty frustrating with all the stupid interrupts. The shield dropped, so now I can stop being upset when my Forgotten Depths queue zones me in on the trash before Megaera. 😛

    Oh, Durumu! I hate that fight. I can never see the little squiggles that are supposed to indicate which side of the room will be safe. I usually die in the first maze phase, then pop my ankh and hope that we get him down before a second maze phase. I dislike that whole wing, really. I’d like to say that Kamalia will never run it again if she can avoid it, but I’ve heard that the thingumbobs for the next stage of the Legendary questline (after I get past that accursed Thunder Forge Scenario) only drop from the last six bosses of Throne of Thunder 😦

    I rather like Lei Shen, even though it’s a ton of damage. People don’t seem to realize that they don’t just have to be out of Thunderstruck, they have to be as far away as possible from it. And what is up with the wind effects on bosses in this expansion, and especially this tier?

    1. Prinnie Powah Post author

      For me, at least, the trick with surviving LFR with the majority of sanity intact is the ability to fly under the radar of snark by blending in with the masses. The ratio of DPS alone makes DPS the #1 role for sliding through with anonymity. I don’t necessarily want or need to be in the top 10 in order to avoid a snarkfest. The key is to avoid drawing attention to yourself out of stupidity and to not to be in the bottom 10. Niremere’s gone into Mogu’shan doing 30k, which put her just about at rock bottom – yet because she didn’t draw attention to herself, she used skills and she kept herself alive, she got no sheeyit for it. This is not the situation for Electrika, who can get crap for being #4 in heals.


      My DBM will helpfully tell me that Thunderstruck got me and I should reduce the damage by getting further away. I hate DBM for this, because I KNOW THAT already, geeze – but sometimes, what with all the other crap going on and camera angle/positioning, I don’t identify the Thunderstruck spot until it’s too late to get far enough away. I know it’s bright and obnoxious, and I’ll be looking for it, but every now and then – my HP is low at the same time I get ZAPPED.

      I sometimes wonder if it can be difficult to get people farther away because are other things you HAVE to stand in (and they’re all thunder-themed!), otherwise you get the adds. What if you don’t remember WTF it is you’re supposed to stand in and you don’t have DBM screaming at you? What if you’re hesitating?

      1. Leit

        Then you die. Well, more likely than not.

        Tortos is an utter clusterfuck for healers. Does he even drop anything good for healspecs? Ugh. I got by with glyphed Riptide running on everything in the raid, basically playing a poor man’s resto druid with totems.


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