Duhfall

In the immortal words of Mike Rowe, "Now THAT is a MACHINE!"

In the immortal words of Mike Rowe, “Now THAT is a MACHINE!”

Siegecrafter Blackfuse

When we first entered the area where we would fight Siegecrafter Blackfuse, I felt amazement because OMFG PIPES AND THINGS!  At last, I had found something cooler than a big evil cavernous hole in the ground filled with fire and angrypants crazyass orcs!

Because this was the first time I’d been in this fight, I automatically suffered a bad, bad debuff to my critical reasoning, spatial awareness and overall level of comprehension, mostly because I was too busy taking screenshots and freaking out about all the things.  The raid had the good sense not to put me on the conveyor belt team (because belts move and stuff happens, duh), so all I had to deal with was the crap on the main floor.

As a result, the fight seemed quick.  Easy, even!  Well, unless you count the lines.  At one point, folks started to tell me not to stand inside the yellow lines, but I didn’t see any yellow lines to stand outside of.  Nope, thanks to my color settings, I saw orange lines.  Given the debuff mentioned above, it is probably no surprise that I thought orange lines CLEARLY could not be the yellow lines my teammates mentioned.  No, there must be yellowyellow lines that I’m not seeing!  Must look for yellow lines, need to be on the lookout for yellow lines!  Turns out that they ARE the same (duh #2), and if you stand inside the lines, you’ll get machined into a million pieces by sixty billion drill bits from the depths of hell.  Whoops!

DRILLBITS OF DOOM They're numerous.  They're practically everywhere.  And they kill you dead.

DRILLBITS OF DOOM
They’re numerous. They’re practically everywhere. And they kill you dead.

Para-gones of the Klaxxi

GOOD FOR YOU Now go be "lucid" elsewhere, plzkthx.

GOOD FOR YOU
Now go be “lucid” elsewhere, plzkthx.

See wat I did thar!?  The Klaxxi were generous to Electrika and gave her the leg token for the tier, as well as a dagger on roll.  THANK GAWD, is all I got to say.  She was previously using Amun-the-heck-is-this-thing (I mean, WTF?  An intellect fist weapon?) and do you know how few good fist weapons there are to mog!?  Beyond that, most of what I remember from this fight is “lsa;fdkjas;lfkjas;lfj bugs.”  I guess they have different abilities and crap.  One even likes math!  Still, they’re trying to kill me!  Somebody get the Raid!  SEE WAT I DID THAR AHAHAHA

Okay fine stopping now.

SADDEST MOMENT OF PATCH TRUE STORY Alas, poor Kovok!

SADDEST MOMENT OF PATCH TRUE STORY
Alas, poor Kovok!

Garrosh Hellderpscream

Drinks All Around We're fine, thanks.  No no, you don't have to go out of your way, Garrosh.

Drinks All Around
We’re fine, thanks. No no, you don’t have to go out of your way, Garrosh.

A cut here for the people who care, since this is like, THE MEANING AND CLOSURE AND STUFF of the expac.

I See What You're Trying For Here, Garrosh But I don't know if it's WORKING for you.

I See What You’re Trying For Here, Garrosh
But I don’t know if it’s WORKING for you.

You can tell a lot about somebody by their interior decor.  If you look at my couch, for example, you immediately know I own cats who do not get their claws trimmed very often*.  Likewise, whenever anybody hangs A FREAKING BEATING HEART in their room like a chandelier, you know they’ve lost it – it’s just that obvious.  (He could’ve gone with crystal or something, but no.  Old God.)

LORE ALERT PEOPLE Important info here.

LORE ALERT PEOPLE
Important info here.

Thrall was kinda cute, attempting to intervene and take responsibility for putting Garrosh in charge and stuff.  Dear Thrall, may I remind you that you did not take on Deathwing directly?  As it turns out, Thrall can’t cope with elements corrupted by Garrosh’s dark shamans!  (Wait just a second, I play a shaman too!  How is this working out for me!?)  IT MATTERS NOT.  Watch out, Garrosh!  BEHOLD THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP.

OSHEEEEEEEEEEEYIT I don't see this heart-to-heart ending well.

OSHEEEEEEEEEEEYIT
I don’t see this heart-to-heart ending well.

Or not.

I'M SORRY I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE FUNNY You can have it back now!!

I’M SORRY I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE FUNNY
You can have it back now!!

Actually, lots of not.

He May Be Geared, But ... Sometimes, there's just too much crap.

He May Be Geared, But …
Sometimes, there’s just too much crap.

See, GARROSH IS REALLY AN ORC WITH DEEP FEELS WHO IS DEEPLY TORMENTED BY Y’SHARRGHHH AND DOES NOT APPRECIATE YOUR LACK OF CARING FOR HIS WELL BEING, and he will smack the CRAP out of you for it.  He may smack the crap out of you with a weapon that he throws at you, and which puts a puddle of bad on the ground.  This puddle is relative in size to the health of the weapon, the idea being that you dot the thing up and keep fighting Garrosh.

Or he might “accidentally” shake loose a gigantic katamari iron star that will both squish you and burn you up.  Since Garrosh spent all his extra cash on that lovely discussion piece of a chandelier, they didn’t really have a whole lot left to keep these things from rolling all over the place.

He might smack you the old fashioned way with an axe to the face.  Or he could transition into a weird dream zone where he attempts to crush you for saving him from Y’shargleargle.  Or, better yet, he could do some MIND CONTROL, which can only be removed if your fellow raid members beat you almost senseless.  It’s for your own good, really, because if nobody beats you senseless, you will rather abruptly expire.

Sadly we ran out of time to actually beat him.  But it’s not like he’s leaving the bunker anytime soon, and we’re going back in tomorrow.  YOU WILL SEE JUSTICE FOR DENTING MY TRANSMOG, GARROSH.  I mean, you know, FOR ALL THE THINGS.

*Seriously, I have no clue how the hell you’re supposed to do this without plate armor, and I’m too poor for plate armor.  And I have two cats.

Places I've Met Bling He's everywhere!

Places I’ve Met Bling
He’s everywhere!

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2 thoughts on “Duhfall

  1. Leit

    Crystal? Really? Dude’s *been* to Outland. He knows what happens as soon as you start dangling crystals from everything, and (hopefully) has enough savvy to avoid “Orgrimmar was only a setback!”

    Also, I somehow failed my spot check coming in and thought the heartbeat was tribal drumming of some sort… then saw the damn heart in the rafters while looking around after a wipe. “Ooooh, that makes much more sense!”

    Only done Garrosh in Flex, and I have to say, the fact that the fight doesn’t feel 20 minutes long with only the last minute actually mattering is kind of a relief.

    Also, people don’t just fall over dead if not DPS’d out of mind control… they go right ahead and invite others to the MC party. That’s what that Bad Touch spell they’re casting does. It’s basically “interrupt this or the turncoats go fractal”.

    Reply
    1. Prinnie Powah Post author

      Okay, so crystal is out. How about one of those gigantic wagon wheel chandeliers? Rustic AND authentic! No? Wrought iron, perhaps?

      Yes, folks who have been mind controlled do invite other people to the MC party. The abrupt death I mention seems to happen after EVERYBODY (who is still alive, that is) has been mind controlled. Once that happened, we all just fell over dead and the encounter reset.

      Reply

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