The Real End Boss for WoD

Yeah yeah, I know they say they’ve got the final boss worked out and everything, but I got a better idea.  (Don’t I always?)  I can’t help but think that there’s more than a bit of nostalgia in going back to Draenor, so you know what the real final boss of WoD should be?

The Iron Elevator.

The Iron Elevator It will Kick.  Your.  Ass.

The Iron Elevator
It will Kick. Your. Ass.

The Iron Elevator is Garrosh’s Hardcore Revamp of every elevator that’s ever tortured you by not being where you need it to be.  Gnomeregan.  Serpentshrine Cavern.  Blackwing Descent.  The Iron Elevator is made of those nightmares where you think you’re falling and you wake up gasping just before impact – but you die anyway, because this is the Iron Elevator.

The goal is to kill the Iron Elevator before it reaches the bottom.  Of course, the fight will have several death-inducing mechanics.

Dumb Luck: You must leap to the Iron Elevator platform from a distance.  Easy to screw up for no apparent reason.  Engineers and their gliders will eventually be nerfed to keep the challenge alive.  p.s., you will occasionally have to redo this move when the fight bugs out and leaves you stuck midair in the elevator shaft.

Gravity:  You take regular damage over the course of the fight, again for no apparent reason, because that’s just how this sheeyit works.

Heartless Ogre Gravity does what gravity wants.

Heartless Ogre
Gravity does what gravity wants.

Down OF DEATH: Every time the Iron Elevator descends, it does so WHILE ON FIRE.

Iron Horde Elevator Technician: This chipper fellow will periodically show up and attempt to increase the descent speed of the Iron Elevator.  He does not like people trying to kill him (he’s just trying to do his job, dammit), so he will also attempt to knock people off the Iron Elevator to their deaths.

LFR will receive an additional skill button.  This will be the “Call for Help” button.  Nobody actually responds and you’re still stuck on the elevator, but it gives you a “Hopefulness” buff that temporarily lightens the mood of the LFR group.

Bring It The Iron Elevator might have an angry face on it, like this one.

Bring It
The Iron Elevator might have an angry face on it, like this one.

Defeating the Iron Elevator gives you a chance to get the mini Iron Elevator battle pet.  This cute little mechanical will beat the crap out of any opponent it encounters by dropping down and squashing it.  When idle, it descends, and will sometimes be on fire.

 

 

 

p.p.s., you can thank Kash for this.

Advertisements

12 thoughts on “The Real End Boss for WoD

  1. PlaidElf

    This will be the first raid boss ever that nobody ever beats. It will go down in the annals of infamy as the unkillable raid boss, Mythic guilds will disband over it and the tears will only lubricate its inner workings making it stronger. What have you done?!
    Thank you for making me laugh hard enough I almost spit coffee all over the place 😀

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s