This Will Never Do Needs more lights, obviously.

This Will Never Do
Needs more lights, obviously.

The Dream
You know what I want?  I want a goblin-themed Garrison.

Should Look More like Sassy's Place in Stranglethorn Just ignore that it's raining, and admit that it's awesome.

Should Look More like Sassy’s Place in Stranglethorn
Just ignore that it’s raining, and admit that it’s awesome.

So what if I’m in the Frostwolf area, surrounded by orcs and playing through a plotline filled with even more orcs ?  I’m the freaking commander of this joint, and I demand some STYLE in my accommodations.  Screw the orcs and their decorative spikes and limited color schemes!  I want LIGHTS!  I want A BARBEQUE GRILL BY MY TOWN HALL!  I want ACCIDENTAL EXPLOSIONS to keep things interesting!  I want a party to be going down in the Barracks!  I wanna dump that fetid, half-frozen pond at the back of my garrison and put in a heated swimming pool with pool ponies instead!  I want FANCY WALLPAPER with PENGUINS and BANANAS, and most of all, NO FREAKING SPIKES.  We got TECHNOLOGY to defend ourselves with, like explosive rocket chickens and murderous mecha-bunnies.  I don’t need to worry about Goren in the mines or crazed rylaks flying overhead if I got Shredders with flamethrowers, now do I?  NO, I DO NOT.

In other words, my ideal Garrison would be a CLASSY ESTABLISHMENT.

A Grill is an Important Creature Comfort I don't know how we're supposed to live in Draenor without one.

A Grill is an Important Creature Comfort
I don’t know how we’re supposed to live in Draenor without one.

The Reality
The reality looks like we took Orgrimmar and transplanted it into a snowy wasteland, minus my belovedly trashy and super-convenient former home, the Goblin Slums.  Mother truckers!  Also, the damn place was designed for tall people, even though we’ve got a goblin architect.

In Order to Begin Commanding I need some assistance seeing what's on this table.

In Order to Begin Commanding
I need some assistance seeing what’s on this table.

Lumber Mill vs. Frostwall Inn
But let’s talk practical for a second here.  I originally intended to build the Frostwall Inn because I want more followers* (not that I’m trying to create an army or anything).  I ended up bowing to collective wisdom, however, and went with the lumber mill instead.  “Resources are good,” people would say, and I can agree with that.

There was a problem with this plan, though.  Namely, there weren’t any damned trees anywhere.

The lumber mill NPC told me Gorgrond was GREAT for trees, but it took a damn long while before I found the two required to complete the initial work order.  It turns out that we’re all competing for the same trees, and like real trees, they respawn rather slowly.  This meant that Gorgrond was clear-cut for all intents and purposes long before I got there, and it also meant that other people were HIGHLY COMPETITIVE when it came to what trees did exist.  Quite often I would arrive at a suitable piece of timber, only to find it being chopped down before my very eyes!  To add salt to the wound, I soon started finding large trees that I couldn’t do a thing with because of my dinky level one lumber mill.  The level three trees remained standing, both irritating me and making me feel somewhat relieved because apparently, nobody else could do a dang thing with them either.

At the end of the night, I basically said eff this sheeyit, and I built the dang Inn on top of of the lumber mill.

Goblins Everywhere!
Given enough time, I’m going to turn this into a goblin stronghold regardless of its style.  I’ve written down every goblin follower there is.

Penny Clobberbottom A goblin after my own heart.

Penny Clobberbottom
A goblin after my own heart.


* Can I just say WTF RNG when it comes to followers?  Nioma’s first follower, Olin Umberhide, went all epically purple for no reason at all, and she got a slew of epic and rare followers thereafter.  And then there’s poor Bombelina, with a Garrison full of average green followers …

Nioma's First Four Followers I am not sheeyitting you, they were all rare/epic.  Poor Bombelina's people are practically all green.

Nioma’s First Four Followers
I am not sheeyitting you, they were all rare/epic. Poor Bombelina’s people are practically all green.


10 thoughts on “Garrisons

  1. wowstorylines

    I’m chuckling at your experience with the lumber mill because I’m going through the same thing currently. Yes, I wish that we could have some creature comforts – my poor Sindorei looks around at all of the dirt and spike and wall-to-wall Orcs and wonders about whom he pissed off to be surrounded by Orcs.

    I think a nice fountain would be applicable, the grill would be great and a place where you could just sit and contemplate the meaning of life – no, the Outhouse is just not going to cut it at all – no reading material in there.

    1. Prinnie Powah Post author

      OH OH OH, and we need a WORKING ELEVATOR in the dang mineshaft, not that busted-not-an-elevator-and-not-exactly-a-shaft-either next to the stairs that currently exists.

      1. wowstorylines

        At least I got mine to Level 2 last night – the mine sure does give my fellow tons of ore and an endless chain of “picks” that I never use all of them. Hehe, yes, an elevator would be wonderful. 😀

  2. tomeoftheancient

    Wow, I was feeling stupid that I didn’t build a lumber mill and thought about changing but now I’m glad I didn’t. Cim seems to get a fair amount of resources from her trading post without having to compete for trees.

    I’m with you on the Goblin built garrison, my Horde and Alliance would jump on that. Should be a blueprint to upgrade to Luxury Goblin Crafted Garrison.

  3. kamaliaetalia

    BTH has been having all the luck with followers going blue and purple, while mine come up green :/

    I’d love a racially-themed garrison, too. I’d even do an epic quest chain for it, if I had to.

    I started with the Barn for my first medium plot, because I’m LW/Skinner, but I wasn’t trapping any animals, and I was feeling resource-starved, so I took it out and built the Lumber Mill. I’ve been reasonably successful with finding small timber, but I, too, feel taunted by the larger trees. I’ll go back to the Barn after I get to my level 3 Garrison, though perhaps not immediately after.

    1. Prinnie Powah Post author

      “Don’t worry,” people say, “once they hit 100, the experience they gain will go to upgrading their quality!”

      “You’re not getting it!” I say. “I want the extra skills now while they’re underleveled, when they’d be the most useful!”

      Besides, I don’t know why, but I just don’t like leveling greens when I know there are better out there.

      The big trees are evil.

  4. Cymre

    I found Talador to be a better source of small and medium lumber and I only just upgraded my war mill to level 2 last night. At least when you get your barracks to level 3 you can change your guards to goblins.

    1. Prinnie Powah Post author

      I find this information WAY more exciting than I probably should. CALL IN THE GOBLIN BRUISERS!

      In hindsight, I think another part of my problem with trees has to do with the fact that I am indeed on a high population server, and was playing at a high population moment, for lack of a better phrase, and because I have not yet finished exploring/leveling, I had little option in terms of where to go. WE WERE ALL THERE AT THE SAME TIME. In the past, I’ve had success mining at atypical server hours and dismal failure if I tried during “regular” time, so trees are probably the same.


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