Category Archives: Alliance Dalliance

I Don’t Know If I Can Do It

Also known as, “More Muttering About Models.”

The nice thing about playing mostly goblins is that my “mains” had no surprises in store for me.  I’ve been sitting on the fence about some other characters, however.  (I’ve also been browsing any and all “OMFG I HATE THE NEW MODELS” threads with avidity.  Look, somebody had problems worse than mine!)

Ailabeth
I loved Ailabeth’s old harlequin face.  To me, it was a smile fixed in place by rigor mortis, a mask resembling her old self that barely covered the motivations of her present unlife.

Ailabeth's New Model Hair apparently does grow in the grave, as does general annoyingness.

Ailabeth’s New Model
Hair apparently does grow in the grave, as does general annoyingness.

With the new model, the brows have been raised and the mouth has been made much narrower*, which gives the harlequin mask a rather pinched smirk.  It makes me want to punch the wearer every time I see it.

On the upside, her hair is fab.  I am ultimately unsure what to do with Ailabeth, but may leave her as Forsaken, since she doesn’t see a large amount of playtime these days.  For now, I’ve changed her face to something that makes me a little less irritated.

*Not that the mouth being made much wider helps, necessarily.  Exhibit A:

Forsaken Eek! Originally posted by Gentlebreeze on the forums.

Forsaken Derp Transformation!
Posted by Gentlebreeze on the forums.

Daschela and Yynsia
I just can’t with the eyes.  Why do they seem so big, when they didn’t before?  Why are they so goddamn turquoise, when they weren’t before?  Why are they so freakishly bright?

Dasch's New Model Nicely defined horns.  Freakishly flat eyes.

Dasch’s New Model
Nicely defined horns. Freakishly flat eyes.

Yynsia's New Model The new bright eyes seem even BRIGHTER on dark skins.

Yynsia’s New Model
The new bright eyes seem even BRIGHTER on dark skins.

Have you seen how the new face looks on the Armory for female draenei hunters?  I THINK YOU SHOULD.

>: | WAT IS WITH THIS FACE

>: |
WAT IS WITH THIS PINCHED EXPRESSION

I’d like to keep them Alliance, so that I am able to switch factions as desired to play with friends.  I’m leaning towards racechanging Daschela, the hunter, to a night elf, since the name originally applied to a night elf druid that later became Betheki the troll.  As far as Yynsia the shaman goes, I’ve been tossing around the idea of changing her either to a dwarf or panda.  On the one hand, I really like the panda casting animation.  On the other, pandas all have sameface syndrome, and I already have one panda.

Niremere
Alas, the changes to the human female hit me like a ton of bricks.  What bugs me the most about the human female faces is how it feels like Blizzard took the same approach they did with pandas: change the colors on the same face and call the resulting variations “different!”  Every face has the same eye shape, just in different colors.  (Speaking of eyes, they gave gnomes a face with mussed up eyeliner. What happened to the smudged eyeliner on my human?)  Every face has pencil-thin brows arched halfway to the moon.  Because of the shading on the upper lip, they almost all appear to be doing the duckface expression if you look at them straight on.

This image is a good example of how the human female faces could, you know, actually resemble the originals in more than eyecolor:

Original, live, and edited versions Originally posted to the forums by Vro of Evenfall server

Original, live, and edited versions
Posted to the forums by Vro

I think I could get used to the human female faces if I made a new character, but the problem with Niremere is that she has a history of sorts, a story in which her old appearance made sense but her new one makes no sense at all.  Niremere’s personality was even-keeled, stern and straightforward, and she was a competent badass who took no sheeyit.  Since the new face only superficially resembles the old one (is it just me, or does it look down), this is not the vibe I get from it.

Nir's New Model She grew a couple inches and several helm sizes.

Nir’s New Model
She grew a couple inches and several helm sizes.

This thread is of interest to me (despite how fast it got derailed by the “I don’t see what’s wrong just suck it up” camp) because the OP used the same face I did and has the same problem with the new model results.  One reply in the thread struck a chord for me as well:

“The human the OP posted, she looked pretty fierce. But with the raised eyebrows, tilted eyeballs, and lack of makeup, she looks pretty derp. And very different.

Still pretty, yeah. But she’s not the same character that was originally created.”

And that’s pretty much the crux of it.

I can’t see race-changing her, to be honest.  “Niremere” is human.  But I can’t see myself playing her much, either.  I’ll probably just leave her sitting as is for a good long while, until my idea of “Niremere” fades and I can pick a different face to go with a different character.


Other thoughts of note:

  • Interestingly, all the “old faces” have been mostly smoothed and dewrinkled
  • Re: gnomes.  People were complaining about female gnomes being too damn cutesy, so it looks an awful lot like Blizzard overcompensated by making them pissed off instead.
  • New Model Thread Catalogue – contains info on how to contact the lead character artist.  Debating actually doing it, because (as shown above) the human females can be made far more faithful to the original models.

 

“Mountain Tracker” Set

"Mountain Tracker" Set

“Mountain Tracker” Set

“Mountain Tracker” Set

Class: Hunter (Alliance required for teeny tiny cape)

H: Ironspine Helm | S: Mantle of the Tireless Tracker | Cl: Incorruptable Shawl
Ch:
Undergrowth Stalker Chestpiece | Wa: Crafted Dreadful Gladiator’s Links of Accuracy | L: Leggings of Twisted Vines
G:
Mountain Gauntlets | Wr: Not shown | B: Atoll Treaders

Bow: Dagryn’s Discarded Longbow (LFR)

Thoughts: Yeah, I know, that should be “Incorruptible,” but it isn’t.  Look it up on Wowhead, you’ll see!

1.) In an ideal transmog world, I would have preferred the blue version of the bow, but that’s from heroic Galakras.  Let’s be real here – there is no bleeping freaking way that’s happening.  I’ll settle for a green bow over “being beaten to a pulp, falling off towers and getting set on fire all at once.”

2.) Speaking of preferences: I always like shorter capes on draenei, mostly because cape + tail = weird.  Long capes should not stick out the way they do!  I wonder if they’re going to be fixing that?

3.) By the time I decided I wanted to use this particular color/model of boots, I had foolishly tossed them in the form of an early quest reward.  I was thus forced to go through a majority of Vashj’ir to get this pair.  D’oh!

4.) Daschela’s progress on the legendary cape is looking up.  I’d originally intended to get Niremere her cloak first, but she’s totally, utterly stuck at Chi-ji’s healing challenge.  Now, Dasch has a great chance of getting her cloak before Nir does simply because I find it a lot easier to shoot blobs and Wrathiepoo from a distance.  I’d thought the healing challenge would be no problem for Nir whatsoever (Bombelina breezed through it like whoa), but apparently, while I’m decent with shaman-style healing, I’m plain horrific at paladin-style (especially when it comes to periods of high damage).  The other major issue Nir faces is Wrathion doing crap DPS to the image of his father (unlike the DPS he does to me in the ranged trial), since that means I must assist him in order to not die of sheer boredom go OOM.  Bombelina, that was easy, all like, “HEALING RAIN!  HEALING STREAM TOTEM!  NOW FLAME SHOCK!  LAVA!  LIGHTNING!  ELEMENTALS GO!”  But poor Niremere?  She’s stuck with “DENOUNCE!  DENOUNCE!  DENOU…SHEEYIT!  WTF!?  WHERE DID HIS HEALTH GO!? CRAP THIS CASTING IS TAKING TOO LONG CRAP CRAP CRAP IT RESET WTF GAWD I HATE YOU WRATHION!”

Glass Half Full, Isle Half Empty

Wyrmrest Accord, where the majority of my characters live, is a high population server (to state the obvious).  We even suffered the indignity of login queues at peak hours from Christmas or so on until February!  Drenden, where Yynsia and Splattini currently reside, is about as far from a high population server as I can imagine existing.  It’s probably not actually close to the bottom at all, but it sure feels like it when you’re used to being surrounded.  (This one time I logged in, the population was listed as Medium.  Seriously!)  Drenden’s supposedly being combined with Arathor (wat? There’s a server named that?) today, so we’ll see if that changes anything.

A generally low population isn’t an issue for Splattini, who remains stuck in the 60s (I hit the BC Wall).  I level her via LFD, and I haven’t drawn up any mog sets for her yet, producing no need to purchase things off the AH.  Yynsia, though, she’s got problems.

YOU’RE CHARGING WHAT FOR THAT!?
Sigh.  Being an idiot, I thought that the AH on Drenden was going to be so much better than the one on WRA.  I mean, it’s not an RP server!  Therefore, people would pay less for the crap that’s really only good for transmog/RP!  And since there were less people, surely the prices wouldn’t be so freakishly high!  (I swear to Gawd everything on WRA jumped by a couple hundred gold when MoP went live.)

WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG.  The market is even more jacked up.  You still have the AH addons/gurus/people with disturbingly deep pockets controlling everything, but since there are fewer of them and less stuff, it’s easier for them to literally control every last freaking item!  True, people will pay a pretty penny for platekini on a RP realm, but at least there’s a little bit of competition to bring prices down.  Kinda.

Glyph prices?  Way higher.  One of the reasons I ditched leatherworking/skinning to take up herbing/inscription was the Allianceside glyph market – when you’re not in Mists level content, you simply don’t make enough via quests/dungeon runs to buy the useful ones.  (The other reason would be the simple fact that skinning makes me horribly OC.  I canNOT move on until all the mobs on the ground have been skinned.  Otherwise, I’M LEAVING PROFIT JUST LYING THERE.  This is enormously problematic in places like Blackrock Spire or Sunken Temple.)  I haven’t even LOOKED at enchants/gems yet.  I’m scared.  If a Jade Spirit enchant is like, 4k on WRA … I … I can’t do it.  I can’t.  I need somebody to hold my hand.

OMG TREASURE MAYBE?
Many boosted 90s are, shall we say, still figuring out their class – myself included.  The sad truth is that I’m pretty incompetent at Enhancement (super dinky offhand weapon doesn’t help), since I usually run Yynsia as Resto (and Bombelina’s geared enough to heal while in Elemental).  As a result, there are a lot of chests on the Isle with potential tokens in them on the that I just can’t get to.  I require other people to kill the mean, nasty mobs around them first!

WELL NOW WHAT I can't kill them fast enough!

WELL NOW WHAT
I can’t kill them fast enough!

On WRA, this usually doesn’t take very long.  (If somebody doesn’t intentionally kill said mob, they pull it while running, which means I get a nice window of opportunity to loot and run.)  On Drenden?  Well, yeah.  I’m not waiting for that to happen!  It’s not that I don’t see people at all.  It’s just that I haven’t seen anything like peak times on WRA, where pretty much everything is already tagged, dead, or respawning.

RARE! KILL IT KILL IT! OR NOT, I GUESS.
What with Yynsia’s gear and my poor understanding of Enhancement, somebody else has to hit the rare first because there is no effing way she is surviving.  Problem is, there aren’t a whole lot of people who will do that.  On WRA, strength in numbers counts for something.  Players that might otherwise not touch a mob first get impatient and do, knowing that enough help will arrive in time to save them.  Drenden?  Well, I just have to wait longer for that moment.

It is incredibly mind-boggling to me to see Evermaw just … happily swimming around the Isle, all chill and stuff.  I can follow him around, thanks to Water Walking.  I imagine him filtering all the Pandarian plankton with a whaleshark smile, safe in knowing that he’s not going to get chased down and brutally murdered anytime soon.

“Fist of Exodar” Set

"Fist of Exodar" Set

“Fist of Exodar” Set

Class: Shaman, Hunter (requires Alliance)

H: Not shown | S: Pauldrons of the Thousand Needles | Cl: Mantle of Exodar
Ch: Tunic of the Dragon Slayer | Wa: Belt of Occult Horrors | L: Heavy Chain Leggings
G:
Gut Opener Gloves | Wr: Not shown | B: Rough Bronze Boots

1h Mace: Fist of Argus
Shield: Chromie’s Mirror

Status: Finished

Thoughts:  I can’t handle being ugly while leveling.  I can’t handle being ugly while boosting to 90, or while scrabbling for decent gear, or while … well, in general.

Alas, mogging while using heirlooms is difficult for classes that change armor types at 40.  You can’t mog the heirlooms to a different armor type, of course, which means that you’re stuck until 40 in the first place and until you manage to acquire crap in the second.  I’m not gonna wait forever, though, so this is a “soon as possible” type outfit which only requires around level 50/55 to complete.

The important bits are only available to Alliance.  Not that any self-respecting orc or Forsaken would wear the Mantle of Exodar anyway.  They do the disco there, you know.

Booster Seat Baby

Long did I ponder upon the weighty matter of which character would be the best use of the level 90 boost.  A rogue, perhaps?  No, I’ll never play it.  What about Pixelby, the warrior, who just happens to be conveniently stuck at level 64?  “NO,” said Cav, who insisted I had to learn warriorioring the hard way or I was no warrior at all.  A blood elf paladin maybe?  That way, I could have a paladerp of my preferred faction, and since it would be 90 to start with, that would be 90 whole levels where I wouldn’t have to listen to the emotes!  No, that wouldn’t work, I’d still emote by accident sometimes.  Like all those times I type “haha” in party chat and my character laughs out loud in the instance for no apparent reason.

In the end, I’ve decided to use the “free” level 90 thing on my little Alliance shaman.  Firstly, OMFG LAVA, and secondly, I could use a maxed shaman Alliance-side.  Lastly, another option for OLRG events wouldn’t hurt.  (I am an altoholic.  Bringing Nir week after week was beginning to make me feel the character version of cabin fever.)

BUT FIRST, I have to get Yynsia to level 60, because I love love love the idea of not having to suffer through the brutal professions slog from 1 to 600.  It’s not like I haven’t leveled profs from scratch before, after all.  I’ve done my duty!  (In truth, I’m still slowly attempting to do so on some of my level 90 alts.)  If Blizzard wants to talk about a number crunch, why don’t we talk about those 600 freaking profession skill points?*

No Helm No Pants No Service He literally had to switch chars, mail his looms to himself, tele out to get them, and tele back in.

No Helm No Pants No Service
He literally had to switch chars, mail his looms to himself, tele out to get them, and tele back in.

Bombelina’s Resto/Elemental, for which she carries around two sets of gear.  (I know the required stats are similar, but they’re not the same!) I initially didn’t pick a second spec for Yynsia due to bag space, but since she’s gotten Exalted with the basic factions (and therefore has purchased the 16 slot bags they offer) and has picked up a netherweave bag or two, that’s no longer an issue.  She started off with Resto for quick queue times.  But then I finally hit the levels when all you get via LFD is hell Blackrock, so I finally picked up Enhancement, just to do something different.

There was just one problem with this plan – all my mail agility heirlooms seemed to have gone missing. I checked every.  Single.  Alt.  I checked everybody’s Void Storage (if they’d unlocked it, that is).  I checked all the alts under level 10 (see: Moolastrasza, Aspect of the Cowflight**).  Hell, I even checked the random DKs sitting in Acherus (see: Mooalisa, Masterpiece**), just to make sure that I hadn’t sent the looms out there for safekeeping, or something.  You know.  Hoping for a miracle.

I hadn’t, of course.  They were all gone gone, kinda like how sometimes, things get broke broke.

Define "Broke" Just work with me here.

Define “Broke”
Just work with me here.

Fortunately, all was not lost.  While item restoration never occurred to me because I am a big derpface, Bombelina and Ignitine have both been max capped on Justice for some weeks now.  Since Bombelina’s gear hasn’t changed recently, I haven’t been dropping my precious gold on reforging and enchants, and thus was able to purchase the guild heirlooms instead!  My problem then became the dire need for a pair of gloves and some dang transmog.

You see, when I picked a second server, I did so based on factors that did not at any point include the server economy.  In so doing, I landed on a server where every damn piece of low level armor, ugly or not, sells for like, 100+ gold OR LOTS MORE unless you’re lucky.  Yynsia was able to wear mail at 40, of course, but she wore her damn leather gloves until the 50s, whereupon I saw a pair of mail gloves on the AH for 75ish gold.  SOLD.  I don’t care if they’re the wrong stats – MAIL MEANS MOG.  She’s still wearing those …

I’ve interrupted leveling to go get some quest items together. Once that is taken care of, it’ll be time to finish the run to 60 and then … the magic jump to 90.

WELCOME TO THE INTERNET This was how I felt upon logging in and seeing a magic 90.

WELCOME TO THE INTERNET
This is what I imagine logging in on an insta90 is like.

I’m told LFR has been exceptionally special this week.  Gee, I wonder why?

* I don’t know why Blizzard insists that I can’t understand big numbers.  I UNDERSTAND MILLION+ CHAOS BOLT CRITS QUITE WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

My Big Numbers Are The Best Big Numbers I UNDERSTAND THIS PERFECTLY.

My Big Numbers Are The Best Big Numbers
I UNDERSTAND THIS PERFECTLY.

** I was going to make a Tauren guild called the Mooguardians on Moon Guard, but then I got lazy.

Heal Me! Quickly!

By now, I have become dependent on the Vuhdo healing addon to a degree where I am almost paralyzed without it.  This has posed a challenge on a couple of occasions when LFR let me zone in while the group was in combat, because Vuhdo won’t load if you’re in combat.  It also won’t update the groups display properly if people leave or join during fighting.  It’ll wait, nice and polite, until you’re done with all that.  BUT PEOPLE ARE STANDING IN BAD, VUHDO!  I NEED YOU NOW!

Now With Extra Derp Sometimes, perceptions differ from reality.

Now With Extra Derp
Sometimes, perceptions differ from reality.

I still haven’t purchased a new mouse with Moar Buttonz.  I might, or I might not.  I generally try to pick out the eight or so most important spells and bind those to clicks, which keeps life simple and so far has worked out more or less OK.  I may not have finesse, but I generally get crap done.  Then again, who am I kidding here?  I’m not buying a new mouse when the old one clicks just fine.

This is my take on the different healing classes, based on the classes I remember healing on.  This is basically anything that’s not a Holy Priest or a Mistweaver monk.  While I technically ran Cata dungeons as Mistweaver, it was mostly to make the queue quicker and I can’t remember diddly squat about it now (other than camera angle problems).

Sometimes, You Just Die Cannonballs and people who want to live do not share the same goals.

Sometimes, You Just Die
Cannonballs and people who want to live do not share the same goals.

Bombelina Says:
As a Resto shaman, you get to wear mail, which means absolutely nothing because mobs will still mess you up.  You do have a chance to survive if you outheal the damage, of course, but that doesn’t mean you should give up on praying for the tank to pull it off you!  Oh, the tank is dead?  Never mind then.  Actually, you should just stop healing now.  Gawd, wipe it up already!

Shamans have lots of advantages, especially if you’re passive aggressive.  Our water-themed spells make it easy to pretend that you’re throwing buckets of water on idiots, or making a sad cloud rain on their heads.  If it’s Earth Shield, you can say you’re throwing dirt on ’em for good luck!  Oh, you wanted like, actual advantages?  Well, goblin totems are seriously the coolest thing since I invented the mechanized sandwich maker on wheels – what, you wanted non-goblin, general type of advantages?  You gotta be SPECIFIC about these things.

Okay, fine.  The BEST thing is being able to Reincarnate after you stand in something, and Mana Tide totem gives you precious, precious mana.  You can summon these elementals to help you out, which is neat.  And you can turn into … a man-thing?  What is that thing, anyway?  Well, you can turn into a Ghost Wolf too, and run fast indoors.  That’s some hot stuff right there.  And you can’t forget Bloodlust, or “Hero,” as the Alliance call it.  You can always tell what faction somebody plays on a regular basis by which one they ask for.

The disadvantage would be the fact that people keep on thinking you got a battle res for some reason, which is cracked.

Legalese Before we zone into the raid, please sign on the dotted line.

Legalese
Before we zone into the raid, please sign on the dotted line.

Prinnie Says: BEST.  CAN BE GOBLIN.  A+.  Shamans are nice in general because Elemental is a DPS spec I don’t suck 100% at.  More importantly, resto shaman doesn’t have like, sixty million healing spells with extremely similar names that I must both distinguish between and use every last one of in order to be effective, which is a HUGE PLUS.  Sadly, I often feel like Riptide is kinda laughable and mostly pointless as a HoT, and unlike a disco priest, attempting to do a wee bit of DPS while resto takes forever and is not happening.  ALAS.  I guess you can’t have it all.

Old Ladies Raiding Guild Don't be fooled by the name, gentlemen, we're open to all!

Old Ladies Raiding Guild
Don’t be fooled by the name, gentlemen, we’re open to all!

Niremere Says:
Should you choose to follow the way of the Light, you will be practically invincible – or so they say.  Do keep in mind that Fate likes to mess with you too, just as much as anybody else.

As we gain Holy Power in our work, so too do our special healing abilities increase in strength.  You must know when to save these holy energies, and yet, you must also be aware that to keep them to yourself accomplishes nothing.  Sadly, mana is a finite resource … but fortunately, we are able to plead with the Divine Light to restore our weary souls.

Done correctly, the Holy Paladin is a healer to be reckoned with.  Done incorrectly, you will regret the plate repair bills.

Prinnie Says: This one is good for shiny buttons.  Even better, you make this big light healy-thing that’s kinda hard to ignore AND you don’t have to get people to stand still in it, which is nice.  This is true even though I’m total crap at screenshotting it, which is why there’s a nice group shot instead!  The biggest problem I got is remembering to use Bacon Beacon of Light, which resets every freaking time you/somebody zones/dies/coughs/whatever.  And the other problem I have is that Horde paladerps can only be blood elves (annoying) or Tauren (have like, three hairdos max).

Let's Be Honest Here Tell me, how do you REALLY feel about your healer?

Let’s Be Honest Here
Tell me, how do you REALLY feel about your healer?

Betheki Says:
Yeah mon!  Follow tha way of the wild, be a Resto druid!  So dere’s dis mushroom ya glyph, and it is da best ting evah, which means it’s gonna get nerfed soon.  So enjoy da magic while it lasts!  Othah than that, mon, just cast Rejuvenate and then sit back.  Relax, ‘cept if there’s trouble.  In dat case, ya gotta make your mushroom bloom!  Don’t ask me if fungus should be bloomin’, mon.  I don’t be knowin’ dat.

When ya be a druid, ya know the skin you in is just one of many.  Fly free, mon, don’t be needin’ those fancy mounts to see tha sky.  Be wise, like a tree of long life, knowin’ dat dese roots, dey grow deep.  Stand strong in da storm!  And when ya be a druid, ya be in tune with tha natural way.  Ya get a fancy battle res.  Sadly, mon, dis one battle res ain’t never enough.  Just like in nature, where da need for tings is greater than tha supply, ya will find people keep on dyin’ all ovah da place, and they be beggin’ you for that res – but ya used it up already!

Prinnie Says:  Are you KIDDING me??  Placing a mushroom has no mana cost!?  BUT THAT’S LIKE … THAT’S … THAT’S LIKE ACTUAL FREE HEALS!!1!  Also related: multiple treants thanks to Force of Nature means I can make lots of pretty Venn diagrams.  (p.s., typing in troll is hard.)

The Harsh Truth Ain't gonna sugarcoat it.

The Harsh Truth
Ain’t gonna sugarcoat it.

Ailabeth Says:
Don’t look at me, breather.  I haven’t seriously healed as a Disc priest in well over a year.

Prinnie Says: I’m not surprised.  I’ll ask Splattini.

Prone to GREATNESS Splattini doesn't have a lot of flattering screenshots.  She doesn't let that stop her.

Prone to GREATNESS
Splattini doesn’t have a lot of flattering screenshots. She doesn’t let that stop her.

Splattini Says:
“The Great” Splattini, if you please.

Prinnie Says: For the love of … you’re only level 60!  You can’t have an attitude.

Splattini Says:
Then I’m not saying a word about how to disco.

Prinnie Says: …

The Great Splattini Says:
Sparkles, check.  Wings, check.  Bubbles everywhere, check.  Out DPSing the DPS, check.  I may be level 60, but I am a level 60 badass.

She Ain't Gonna Take It Oh no, she ain't gonna take it.  /rolls up sleeves

She Ain’t Gonna Take It
Oh no, she ain’t gonna take it. /rolls up sleeves

Prinnie Says: Just wait until you hit 90, kid.  I’m sure it’ll all go to hell.  Usually does.

The Great Splattini Says:
Look, your post-leveling issues mean nothing to me.  Did I mention Mass Dispel?  ’cause I got it, and you know you want it.  Oh, p.s., with Levitate, we’re gettin’ this party started.

Prinnie Says: Okay, so I haven’t hit the late 80s/level 90 “OMFG MANA” crunch yet, and really, until you start LFRing/raiding/encountering crazies, most LFD groups couldn’t care less WHAT class you are as long as they never die.  So although I’m told that Disco is better as a tank healer (which makes the notion of trying to heal 25-man LFR kinda … ominous), Disco seems pretty awesome right now.  Holy seemed like it had too many freaking things going on.  Either way, it’s important to know that as a priest, you can do this:

Step one: Rime of the A.M.  Step two: become lizard.  Step three: use Archangel.  GLOWING PINK PIRATE LIZARD ANGEL THING.

Step one: Rime of the A.M. Step two: become lizard. Step three: use Archangel. GLOWING PINK PIRATE LIZARD ANGEL THING.

Prinnie Says: Regardless of class, some things are just beyond your capability to remedy.

Wat Is he speaking in tank code or something?

I Just Wat
On second thought, don’t wanna know.

Writer’s Block!? RUN AWAAAAAAY

It’s finally happened.  I’ve … I’ve become … boring.

I have to guess that’s the case, anyway.  I’ve found little inspiration in what I’ve been doing as of late, ’cause it’s like I’ve derped the same derps before and written about ’em twice.  Let me roll my three precious, precious tokens for more gold, again.  Let me run LFR to get an offhand I can’t use in one wing and gold on all four bosses in the next, again.  I need to mine more, dink dink dink, again.  It’s not that things are bad, it’s just that the funny parts seem to be missing.  There was this time this beartank in LFR pulled too much sheeyit specifically to kill us all and I … wait no, that wasn’t funny at all.

Y'know ... Niuzao totally sounds like a jerk.

Y’know …
Niuzao totally sounds like a jerk.

I’ve been boring before.  It’s kinda like a personal nightmare of mine, but it always ends eventually.  I usually just chill and sooner or later, something amusing takes place.  It’s just that I’ve never had a blog that people (other than family) actually read before, so now being boring feels kinda bad!  I must post.  I must write something funny.  I must be funny again.  But the more you intentionally look for funny, the less often it happens, or the more it happens in little chunks that don’t seem to be enough to sustain a blog post on their own.

Dr. Bombelina Just because she bought her credentials doesn't mean she's wrong!

Dr. Bombelina
Just because she bought her credentials doesn’t mean she’s wrong!

What to WRITE.

You're So Vain I Bet You Think This Hairdo's About You, Don't You

You’re So Vain
I Bet You Think This Hairdo’s About You, Don’t You

Alts Everywhere like Whee

I’ve been superbusy, you see, not because of the holiday but because of the whole ability to mail heirlooms to different servers.  THANK GAWD FOR MORE TRANSMOG STORAGE SPA… I mean, uh, yay!  More leveling!  I’ll be damned if messing around on the character creation screen isn’t fun, so I’ve ended up with a sea of small-time alts that I may never actually do anything with.  Only one of ’em has achieved “having a spec” yet.

I’ve come up with good names for some of them, but mostly, it’s like I’ve rediscovered the joy of hitting the “Randomize” button.   Ideally, it comes up with a good name so I don’t have to think too hard, but it (perhaps unsurprisingly) delivers mixed results.  There have been some that I never would have gotten on WRA – seriously, I landed a name that was only THREE FREAKING LETTERS long on another server!  (Yes, that sort of thing is amazing to me.)  But some of the names the “Randomize” button came up with have just confused me, like this one:

How is This Even a Name Is Blizzard setting me up to be reported, maybe?

How is This Even a Name
Is Blizzard setting me up to be reported, maybe?

I swear to Gawd I did not shop that name in.

A Million Shamans IMAGINE ALL THE CHAIN LIGHTNING

A Million Shamans
IMAGINE ALL THE CHAIN LIGHTNING

At this point, I’ve decided to “focus” on two of the alts, one Horde, one Alliance.  Splattini is a goblin disco priest, created with three goals in mind: learn how to dance Atonement heal, stalk Rep (since Rep moved some characters to that server, which isn’t PvP!), and maybe someday see her idol, Fabulor, in all his fab glory at the Shrine.  You know, someday, when she’s dressed to impress better and when she’s like … not level 13.

The other would be Yynsia, a draenei shaman who hasn’t picked specs yet.  One of them will definitely be resto, because I’ve been tempted to level another Alliance healy-type.  That way I can bring a different character to the Old Ladies Raiding Guild when whim strikes, and healers are always useful.  The big question for Yynsia is – enhancement or elemental?  On the one hand, I’d like to try enhancement, and I’ve got all the mail agility looms.  On the other hand, while you can mail heirlooms across servers now, the same cannot be said of money or, most importantly, bags!  I’m not sure if or when she’ll have the bag space to carry two sets of gear!

Lastly, when did I end up with two sets of leather agility heirlooms?  Well, you know what THAT means – TIME TO MAKE ANOTHER ALT.

You act like I got a problem.

“Wings of Heaven” Set

"Wings of Heaven" Set

“Wings of Heaven” Set

Class: Paladin (Shield as shown requires Alliance)

H: Savage Gladiator’s Ornamented Headcover | S: Chilled Shoulderplates | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Breastplate of Winged Triumph | Wa: Magroth’s Meditative Cincture | L: Not shown
G: Savage Gladiator’s Ornamented Gloves | Wr: Not shown | B: Glintrok Sollerets

Shield: Skyguardian’s Shield
1h Mace: Mace of Transformed Bone

Status: Finished

Thoughts: So Niremere’s been enjoying a renaissance of sorts since I switched from Ret to Holy; the new spec gives me A CRAPTON OF SHINY BUTTONS that sparkle and stuff when they proc and say USE ME!  Lord knows I like having shiny buttons to press regardless of whether or not the spell in question is even useful.  As her gear has improved (NO MORE HEROIC DUNGEON WEAPON THANK GAWD YAY), she’s been having fewer mana issues over all – though long, damage heavy fights like the Fallen Protectors still pose a challenge for me in terms of mana management.  (Is Divine Plea off cooldown yet?  Is it now?  How about now?  Anytime soon?  How do we not have any shamans in this LFR?  Oooh a druid, can I get an Innervate?  Hello?)  I even glyphed Lay on Hands to give 10% mana back when used … but I’ve realized that 10% isn’t actually all that much.  /sadface

But still!  Shiny buttons!  When I want to smash my way though an old school transmog run, I use Protection and am happy.  Then when I want to actually interact with people, I go Holy.

Nir’s been damn lucky with loot, and is currently the only gal I’ve got who has the tier chest from LFR.  When I turned it in, I was most pleasantly surprised to discover that unlike a lot of LFR sets (the shaman’s LFR Firebird look or the paladin’s LFR Lightning Emperor getup, for example), the paladin one is not nuclear snot green!  In fact, it was actually ATTRACTIVE.  The color scheme even made SENSE for an Alliance paladin!  My mind, it was boggled!

So of course I had to mog something around it, amirite?

Holy Kleenex, Batman! It Was Right Under Our Nose, and We Blew It!

Niremere has long been Retribution/Protection.  Of those two, Protection was my favorite – prance in, throw shield, smash things, dance out!  For the Light yay!  I did, however, chicken out big time when it came to tanking LFR, and I went back to Retribution.  I didn’t exactly LIKE Retribution, but I didn’t really HATE it either, and maybe gear would make it better?

We're More Laid Back Here Downright relaxed, even.

We’re More Laid Back Here
Downright relaxed, even.

I decided to keep on Retting it up after the patch to see if the 5.4 changes made any positive difference for me.  Alas, patch changes or no, I still don’t get Retribution and I just can’t seem to have fun with it.  Sure, Inquisition lasts for a whole freaking minute now (OH BOY DON’T I FEEL SPECIAL), but I still don’t like having to expend Holy Power to keep it up.  Nope.  Nobody need expect the Spanish Inquisition here, because it ain’t happening.

Sure, I Can See My Hands Owait, no, because they're in front of me and my camera angle's from behind.

Sure, I Can See My Hands
Owait, no, because they’re in front of me and my camera angle’s from behind.

Inquisition doesn’t even LOOK cool.  Sure, it gives me glowy hands, but I can’t even see my freaking self in combat half the time, let alone my dainty little hands!  I hit like a tired poodle and I am not feeling the two-handed weapon love, because I still love shields and that’s not changing dammit.  I can only cast like two Flash of Lights before running out of mana (I can’t use Word of Glory for healing somebody, silly, I gotta use that Holy Power for Templar’s Verdict Inquisition I don’t even know anymore) and I can’t offtank worth crap, so there’s no running in and saving the day all dramatic-like in emergencies.*  There’s only repairs.  And being boring.  And feeling like I’m fighting in neck-deep mud.

WELP THAT WENT WELL Tank died.  Tried to pull the Celestial Protector off a healer.  Got eaten.  Celestial Protector then had a nice, priestly dessert.

WELP THAT WENT WELL
Tank died. Tried to pull the Celestial Protector off a healer. Got eaten. Celestial Protector then had a nice, priestly dessert.

Despite that, I kept dragging Niremere through Throne of Thunder LFR, and she wound up with some shiny tier tokens!  I was then regretting exchanging them for Retribution gear (even though I hadn’t actually done that yet), when this conversation more or less occurred:

Me: I know I should use them for Ret … theoretically, a set bonus would help …
Friend: Wait, use them for the spec you hate?
Me: Yesssssssssssssssssssssssss.  Because I shouuuullddddd.
Friend: That’s stupid.  I don’t even know why you play a spec you hate.

Suddenly, I didn’t know why either.  I gave the spec a chance, really!  It just never took.  Niremere has been in Ret spec for the better part of 80 out of 90 levels, aside from tanking sprees here and there.  To continue this way was like bashing my head into a brick wall in the hopes of developing some sort of brain injury that might possibly change my personality, which in turn could possibly make me like Retribution.  It clearly wasn’t working out, if only because I have a really thick skull.

So I decided to commence PROJECT “I DON’T KNOW IF I LIKE HOLY, BUT IT ISN’T RET SO THERE.”

First step was to get gear, because nobody wants to run into an instance naked.  Accordingly, I ran all the LFRs ever, then died my way around the Timeless Isle looking for chests, and finally I bought PvP crap off the AH to fill in the holes.  (I have a new protip for the loading screens: “Warning! The Timeless Isle hurts like mother trucking HELL if you are undergeared!”)

Unfortunately, I am forced to neglect the “finishing touches,” as it were.  Since Nir’s gear rocketed up so quickly (we’re talking like twenty item levels), I can’t afford to fully reforge/enchant/gem it.  She’s reforged and mostly gemmed at this point, though there is no way in hell I’m enchanting that wep from a heroic dungeon whether I can afford to or not.

Once she had something to wear, Nir ran to the nearest Paladin trainer and gave him gold.  It was then time to HEAL ALL THE THINGS.  Kinda.

The worst thing about starting healing with a new class at level 90 is that you are stricken with a general feeling of “oh my GAWD, all the things wat the hell is going on,” which can’t be helped except through exposure to the spec and the diligent application of effort.  (True understanding comes even later.)  And aside from reading a guide to get an idea of what you should be doing, your only real option is to literally click the buttons to see for yourself what they do.

Turns out that not only is it really hard to figure crap out when you have all the things to learn all at once, it’s ESPECIALLY hard to do when they’re almost all named “Holy” Somethingorother.  I CAN’T REMEMBER WHICH HOLY DOES WHAT HEALING THING.  I actually had to write notes down.  NOTES.  TO PLAY A GAME.  (L-shift click, Light of Dawn, HP click, multi target!)

The only other classes I’ve healed extensively on in recent memory, shaman and druid, don’t really have an equivalent to Holy Power that they have to build up in order to spend. As a result, I spent a fair amount of time freaking out about dropping HP clicking on buttons furiously while wondering why nothing was happening.  I would subsequently (and usually abruptly) realize that I had no Holy Power and this particular Holy thing needed it, therefore, fail.  I actually do have the bright red status text on my screen for things like “Not enough Holy Power.”  I just never read it.

Feeling somewhat overwhelmed, I made a little dwarf paladin with the idea of “learning from the ground up.”  But somewhere around level 3, I decided that the effort required to learn crap from scratch at level 90 was probably going to be less than the effort required to level from 1 to 90, so she got left somewhere in the snowy wilds outside Ironforge.  I haven’t deleted the character, though, because people on my friends list had a fit were extremely confused when they saw me playing a female dwarf.  Maybe I’ll surprise them again later!

So I grabbed a beartank friend with good gear (he assured me that with his self heal, he could solo heroics) and off we went into LFD land.  I warned him to be prepared.  I warned him I had no clue what all the buttons did, and also that my keybinds were all freaked up, and finally that I still had to set up Vuhdo properly and whatnot, so be careful!  Did I get said beartank killed?  YEP.  YOU BETCHA.

The next morning I queued randomly by myself, which ended up being embarrassing as well.  I got caught red-handed with Righteous Fury still on from a failed-ret-tanking episode the night before (see * at end, again).  Ugh!  It’s like the hunter who leaves Aspect of the Pack on for the whole fight (which I have NEVER done, nope, believe you me, 100% truth telling here).  Fortunately the party was quite helpful and gave me a number of tips, and there was a shaman who covered for my general ineptitude (in addition to pointing out that whole Righteous Fury thing).

Now THAT'S the Skill for Me Proposed Paladin revamp makes Beacon of Light into something even BETTER.

Now THAT’S the Skill for Me
Proposed Paladin revamp makes Beacon of Light into something even BETTER.

Later that day, I felt I at least had the basics down because people weren’t dying anymore in heroics.  When looking at the Raid Finder to see if there were any LFRs I missed, I realized that Nir had the gearscore to queue for SoO … hmmm.

Crazy?  Hell yes.  Still, it seemed like a slightly less crazypants idea than learning how to paladerp heal via PvP, which was Goa’s suggestion, so I queued up for it.  It was definitely an enlightening experience.  It turns out that not only do I need to know buttons, but I also have to relearn mana management, blah.  Electrika has almost zero mana issues at present because of gear, Water Shield, Mana Tide totem and the Telluric Currents glyph (which returns a bit of mana if you use Lightning Bolt).  Betheki (the druid) is at level 80, which is too high to have the noob type of mana issues, but too low to have LFR “holy crap, please kill it before it ‘zerks” kind of mana issues.

So yeah, who spent practically all of the Fallen Protectors fight using only Holy Shock and Light of Dawn?  That would be meeeeee. While I am more than perfectly happy to coast when it comes to DPS (heeeey we got like, six people doing 200k?  SWEET), I feel immense guilt when it comes to coasting on heals.  I almost left the group three or four times because I felt my heals were too low to justify my presence.  I wound up staying anyway because there was an amazing shaman who covered for me and at least one other healer as well.  Overgeared?  Overachiever?  Don’t know, but he was the key to Nir getting the first gear token from this tier.  (I am overjoyed that the paladin LFR color scheme does NOT involve nuclear snot green.)

* So let me tell you about the last time Nir was fighting Will of the Emperor, a.k.a. Jan-xi and Qin-xi. As you no doubt know by now if you are a regular LFRer, adds and bosses spawn on the far side of the room, opposite where the entrance is.  The idea is to drag the bosses from that end back over to the other, positioning them near the two separate staircases that the raid entered the fight area with.  One boss per set of stairs, easy!

In this particular LFR, we had a tank who wasn’t quite clear on what to do other than “get aggro.”  He grabbed his boss, yes, but then he stood with it at the back of the room, which is bad.  It exposes the DPS to unnecessary heavy damage (which in turn stresses healers), and it’s not like the DPS can go somewhere else to avoid it – adds continually spawn back there for the duration of the fight.  Everybody yelled at him but he went nowhere with the boss, so I whispered him and told him to go up front by the stairs, which he did – sorta.  He pulled it to the same staircase that the other tank/boss was at, which elicited further shouts of dismay from the LFR.  I kept on whispering him, telling him where the second staircase was, and he WAS trying to listen.  It’s just that he dragged his boss over about halfway, which is ALSO bad, because that puts the boss right on top of the healers.

So finally I put on Righteous Fury, used Reckoning twice, and ran like a bat outta hell for the right set of stairs.  Defensive bubbles?  If only I had realized just how squishy I am despite the freaking plate, I would’ve used one.  I took 1.5 hits and was DOWN.  But hey, since my corpse was apparently much easier to see than my living self, the tank finally got the boss to the right spot and we didn’t wipe.  Hooray!