Category Archives: Goblins

Going Greener

Prinnie: Okay, so, we’re going to try this green fire business.  It’s gotten easier thanks to gear, but rest assured – it will still be a long, tedious process, filled with immense challenge and requiring exact timing!

Ignitine: I’m not worried.

Prinnie: Are you ever?

Ignitine: No, actually.  Is that a problem?

We Got a Badass Over Here Of course you do.  She's a goblin warlock.

We Got a Badass Over Here
Of course you do. She’s a goblin warlock.

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I Give Up (on Tokens, Not in General)

Last week, Ignitine was still wearing a quest robe (item level was like, 603 or something), and what I wanted more than anything was a robe that was just a little less embarrassing – that one that Tectus drops would fit the bill real well.  Unfortunately, last week’s LFR loot results were as follows:

Kargath Bladefist: Shoes I already had
Everybody else: Gold

You Shall Not Haz Oh.  Okay den.

You Shall Not Haz
Oh. Okay den.

I didn’t have any extra rolls, because one of the challenges altoholics have is how we never seem to have quite enough of any one resource to get the full three tokens.  Ignitine is still maxing out her garrison buildings, so she’s low on both Garrison Resources and gold (for eff’s sake, why are those plans so expensive!?), and I don’t really PvP unless there’s that ONE perfect transmog item I NEED that cannot be substituted for anything else.  But by golly, I wanted to up Ignitine’s gear score and I was fixated on that awful robe, so I finally scraped together enough gold and got myself a shiny token.  SWEET, I GOT A TOKEN.  TIME TO RUN LFR AGAIN.

Ready Check for Murder Ok, ok, so this is a dungeon ready check and not one for LFR, but I found it on Pinterest and was like, IT'S PERFECT FOR THIS

Ready Check for Murder
Ok, ok, so this is a dungeon ready check and not one for LFR, but I found it on Pinterest and was like, IT’S PERFECT FOR THIS (despite the pixelation)

The queue finally pops, but then we wipe because they pulled all the trash without tanks.  Okay.  I’m not upset yet.  I’m not gonna leave, I really want to try for that freaking robe.  That was just a derp, really, and you gotta assume that LFR is gonna derp (despite how easy it is these days). We get Tectus down, and it’s time for my extra roll squee!

Given the title of this post, I’m sure you know the result.

BUT LO!  What’s this!?  My followers got a rare mission for a single token!  SQUEE!  ANOTHER CHANCE!  TIME TO DO IT AGAIN!

The queue pops, and we make it to Tectus without wiping.  Alas, the tank pulls Tectus too far out of the area and resets him at about 35%.  Okay.  I’m not upset yet.  I’m not gonna leave, I really want to try for that freaking robe.  We get Tectus down, and it’s time for my extra roll squee!

Yes.  Gold again.

Given that RNG and I are now obviously estranged, this is not a new problem for me.  I realize they can’t just hand us loot, or people would moan about LFR being even more of a gift-giving trainwreck than it already is.  But it’s like, dude, for the time I put into identifying that low piece of gear as THE PROBLEM TO BE SOLVED, getting the extra token, queueueueueing and killing the boss all the while getting my hopes up that the SOLUTION IS AT HAND – and repeating the whole shebang on multiple alts – that gold just sucks.

After cursing the name of RNG through Mogu’shan Vaults, Heart of Fear, Terrace of Endless Spring, Throne of Thunder and Siege of Orgrimmar, I believe I have enough experience to conclude that the only real protection against dashed hopes is to stop inviting hope in the first place – so no more tokens for me!  If they happen to come my way via follower mission, that’s fine.  But I’m sure as hell not going to actively pursue getting three tokens per week.  The satisfaction of knowing that I did everything possible to improve my gear is nothing compared to the annoyance of knowing I did everything within my power and still ended up with no gear to show for it.

 

 

(p.s., I think I rather preferred the ubiquitous bags that you opened rather than looting the bosses, for two reasons – one, you can open on the run, which is important in LFR, and two, you had a small chance of random crap like belts and pets that made the gold seem somehow less stupid.)

 

Barbarian At the (Garrison) Gates

Or, “How Ignitine Unexpectedly  Took Over WoD.”  Don’t remember Ignitine?

"Sha" Set

“Sha” Set

She’s the one who likes bad hats, blew up a microwave FOR SCIENCE and manipulated Esplodine into trapping herself in the AH.  All around good sort, really.

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“Volcanic Embrace” Set

"Volcanic Embrace" Set

“Volcanic Embrace” Set

Class: Shaman

H: Erupting Volcanic Headpiece | S: Erupting Volcanic Spaulders | Cl: Coldsinger Cloak
Ch: Gatekeeper’s Embrace | Wa: Varashi Belt | L: Not shown
G:
Nimblefinger Scaled Gloves | Wr: Not shown | B: S.B.R.B. Prototype 3

1h Mace: Plunderer’s Drill
Shield: Protector of Frigid Souls

Thoughts: So I had finally transitioned away from keeping track of my planned mogs with Ye Olde Fashioned Notebooke to making more mogs than I could follow up on with the Mogit addon.  Hooray for technology!

And then I switched computers without writing down what said sets consisted of.

Cav was not very supportive, and he said I should just start over.  I whimpered and cried and threw mini-mog-fits, but I eventually did, if only because I can’t keep my little green hands off Mogit and Gawd knows I’m too lazy to reconnect my old computer just to figure out what was in every last set I’d come up with.

I started this particular set out of convenience – at some point, while clearing out my storage space (yet again), I saw I had most of the yellow version of the shaman tier from Firelands.  Cool beans, the set is half done and I haven’t even left my Garrison yet!

The S.B.R.B. Prototype 3 boots are a quest reward from the goblin starting zone (I KNOW, I’VE HUNG ONTO THEM FOR THAT FREAKING LONG), so if you’re not a goblin and/or did not keep them, you’ll need an alternative.  There is a lookalike for the shoulders should any hunter want to dress up like a shaman, but no lookalike for the helm.

As far as the Plunderer’s Drill goes, it seemed so dang perfect for a goblin.  It has a high drop rate, but keep in mind that the rare that drops it (the Mecha Plunderer) is in a daily quest area and has a respawn time of about an hour and a half – so unless you camp it, have a plan and/or get plain lucky, it can be some time before you spot it.  I achieved success by parking Bombelina next to the spawn site and checking it at ridiculously early morning hours (the things I do for mog …).  I believe sacrificing blood elves to the Mecha Plunderer also improved my chances.  I mean, uh, Aeda Brightdawn kept taunting the thing like she taunts every possible mob in a five mile radius, but she can’t take the beating she invites and that’s not my fault.  So, yeah, I totally used her as a tank knowing she’d drop dead before the mob did.  That is my fault, but it worked out so well.

 

#draenorworldproblems

I just got the level 3 Storehouse.  FINALLY, right?  MY OWN TRANSMOG JOINT.

So I sprint the hell over, all thrilled, and I start trying out different combinations of the stuff I have in storage.  This could work with this, and that might go well, and let’s try that weapon, and how about dem shoes when all of a sudden, the @#%$er moves, the dialog closes, and I am filled with nerdrage.

I take a deep breath.  I try again.  Off Warpweaver Farshlah goes to look at that other box.  You know, the one he looked at a minute ago.

WAT ARE YOU DOING

IF YOU MUST WANDER, WHY THE HELL CAN’T YOU AT LEAST STAY IN RANGE

It’s not like I can RUSH!  I can’t just mog any old thing together!  My combinations must be chosen carefully!  They require thought!  A solid judgement of color!  A sense of proportion!  SOMETIMES I HAVEN’T EVEN SELECTED AN ITEM YET AND HE MOVES.

Okay, I thought.

Let’s try organizing Void Storage.

I’m going to click on this shield here, and then click on the second tab, and then click in that sp… WHY DID YOU MOVE, YOU SON OF A MOTHER TRUCKING

Sworn Enemies They'd be frenemies, but we were never friends

Sworn Enemies
They’d be frenemies, but we were never friends

I can’t.

I just can’t.


Not Sure I Want to Know Sometimes, it's just better to let burning warlocks burn.

Not Sure I Want to Know
Sometimes, it’s just better to let burning warlocks burn.

My followers are always birds of a feather, so to speak.  Thermalix is swamped with followers who can counter Minion Swarms, and I’ve only had one mission to get a follower retraining certificate.  This is a certified pain in the whozawhatzit when considered from the perspective of my Plan: Gobligeddon*.

The first time I used my inn to recruit a follower, I searched for the Scavenger trait.  I had not gotten a follower with it Hordeside, and Bombelina was in the throes of a resource shortage due to the way a high population server can clear-cut the entirety of Gorgrond in a minute or less.  (I have since discovered that if I log on at four a.m. server time, TREES EVERYWHERE.)  Once I started leveling this follower, though, it occurred to me that the Scavenger trait is actually kinda pointless.  Number one, it’s not like you get that many missions for garrison resources, and number two, the mission probably has a threat said follower can’t counter and will fail in attempting anyway.

HOW DO I LOG Gathering resources is sometimes difficult.

HOW DO I LOG
Gathering resources is sometimes difficult.

So screw that. My current plan is to look exclusively for followers with Epic Mount, and pray to Gawd that they also have an ability that would actually be useful to me (if it’s Minion Swarms or Timed Battle, I will possibly have to punch someone).  The higher level missions are always ridiculously long, which I find problematic.  I only play for a couple/few hours in the evening, and sometimes in the morning before I leave for work.  I’d like to see my salvage crates followers more than once in a blue moon, thank you very much!


GO AWAY I will not be asking the Tauren to be my guards anytime soon kthxbye.

GO AWAY
I will not be asking the Tauren to be my guards anytime soon kthxbye.

Can someone tell that Tauren representative to get out of the middle of the room?  He BOTHERS me.  He just STANDS there and scratches himself.  He doesn’t walk around, or tell jokes, or say hi, or anything!  No, he just stands there like a creepy cow.


Now, about those “eff over disrupt the enemy” daily quests … I had gotten one from Khadgar’s elemental-thing that wanders around my garrison (I think?), but after that, I forgot about them completely until Cav inquired if I wanted to go irritate some ogres.  I next proceeded to shatter Cav’s faith in my intelligence by asking where he got these fancypants quests.  He could not get his head around the fact that I did not know.  After attempting to glue together the pieces of his broken mind, he finally told me, “that table in your town hall …”

Oh!  You mean that troll guy I ignore because he always says the same boring thing to me when I leave the building!

SHOCK Oh, THAT guy!

SHOCK
Oh, THAT guy!

Why the hell did Blizzard make it so that everybody in your faction is doing the quest in the same place on the same damn day?  I mean, really.  PITA on a high pop server for sure, as you have to be constantly on the lookout for things that aren’t dead.  They’re hard to find.

I'll Show Myself Out Now We're done here.

I’ll Show Myself Out Now
We’re done here.

 

 

* Every single active follower will some day be either a goblin or some sort of mechanical contraption, like Pleasure-Bot 8000.  Since you can’t search for followers by race (or, errr, metal type?), retraining certificates would make this much easier!

Yawnmaul

So last week I moved, and it was A Week, which essentially means that every single day was written off as total crap.  I’d decided that as soon as we got the internet working in the new place, I had to play WoW.  Therefore, I set myself up on a little end table (my desk had not yet been moved) and dinged my knee pretty hard so that I could try out at least one wing of the new LFR.

Nope nope, outdated.  Start over.

So last week I pretty much had a meltdown

Let’s rephrase that.

So my various families observed the holidays last week, which essentially means that every single day was devoted to things “in the real world” and not the digital.  This is me, though, so I snuck away for a little WoW time here and there!

Oh wait, it’s outdated again!

So last week was New Year’s and the Significant Other got the flu, which essentially means that every single day was

You know what, forget it.  This, children, is why you should publish your blog posts before a million things happen, because otherwise you do more things and you’ve gotta revise.  Repeatedly.

I also recently switched to a new computer.  While my four year old CPU was literally a tower of processing power at one time, it has now been eclipsed by a creation capable of showing reflections on water surfaces, and ripples on the water, and dramatic views off into the far distance, and light beams and all that fancy visual crap!  Alas, I was too excited to transfer all my screenshots at that time, so while they are not exactly lost, they are unavailable at the time of this posting.  GIFS FOR ALL INSTEAD.

Derp Derp Derp Derp Don't mind me.

Derp Derp Derp Derp
Don’t mind me.

While waiting in the long DPS queue, I pondered why you had to get a silver in the proving grounds for heroic dungeons, but not for LFR, even though incompetence would inconvenience a far larger group of people in the latter.  To me, the “natural order” has always been something like Dungeons (Normal > Heroic) > LFR > Real Raiding™, but guildmates insisted that heroic dungeons are supposed to be harder than LFR nowadays.  So now it’s more like Normal Dungeons > LFR > Heroic Dungeons > Real Raiding™.  Oh, and LFR is obsolete because of flex, or so I’m told.

How LFR Works Now After all, it requires little skill these days.

How LFR Works Now
Well, kinda how it always did.

Anyway, I was assured that the first wing of Highmaul LFR would be a total faceroll, and indeed, it was.  On the upside, there were only three bosses to the first wing, which I think is the darn perfect number for an LFR session – not too brief and therefore unsatisfying, but not too long and therefore irritating.  On the downside, the “challenge” level of LFR has been scaled to a point where even I, consummate lazy bum that I am, think there maaaaay be a problem.  If you make most things this easy,  you are guaranteed to get at least one or more stacks of Determination when the group reaches a boss that can’t simply be smashed to bits like the bosses before it (see: Ko’ragh, I haven’t tried that wing again yet).  Also, I get a feeling of “uh, wow.  Was that it?”

Kargath Bladefist
So I guess Kargath hooks some people with chains and throws ’em into the audience (I’m told it’s a random selection in LFR).  That didn’t happen to me, though, so I was bored.  It felt kind of like the Sha of Fear LFR fight, but with more testosterone and less fleeing in terror.  There were these “Flame Pillar” fiery skull-things that popped up and disappeared throughout the fight.  They’re apparently very important for interrupting Kargath’s Berserker Rush, but he didn’t target me for that, either, and I wasn’t dumb enough to stand next to them, so shape of the burning pillars reminded me of those round tube-like brushes you see in car washes.  Suddenly I was thinking of cleaning things …

How to improve: Get Kargath some shampoo and open the freaking Tiger Pits, and maybe have some tigers with blades on their paws pop out of them!  Yeah, that’s a great idea!

The Butcher
How was this even considered a boss?  I’ve met snails tougher than that!  Oh wait, he gave me loot, therefore, he is a boss.  Somehow.

How to improve: Get rid of this guy, or at least give him his primary mechanic back.  I mean, seriously, he is embarrassing right now.

Brackenspore
This one seemed more fun with the different kinds of adds spawning.  There must’ve been a handful of experienced folk present, because otherwise I cannot explain how the group went in swinging and came out alive without any stacks of Determination.

How to improve: First, add more flamethrowers.  Second, replace Brackenspore with Thok v2, and instead of mushrooms and plants appearing throughout the fight, have a bunch of mini raptor-sized Thoks show up instead.  Their bites would debilitate you in different ways!  If you got “Lose a Leg,” you’d experience a 35% reduction to mobility.  “Nomming on Your Noggin” would slow your casting speed, and so on.

I Am a Mighty Lion Thrashing All the Bosses in LFR

I Am a Mighty Lion
Thrashing All the Bosses in LFR

All in all, I do appreciate the move away from encounters where one person doing something stupid at the very start can screw the whole thing up, a la talking to Lorthie or Wrynn and beginning the Galakras fight before a tower team has been chosen (or before everybody’s zoned in).  Still, I kind of miss the LFR ToT level of challenge.  Okay, okay, I miss the LFR ToT level of challenge minus Durumu and Lei Sheeyit.  I definitely miss the snails.  I hope there’s something quirky like them in one of the later wings that gives this raid some character.

 

 

Life in the Slow Lane

Warp Speed Plz WE NEED TO GO TO PLAID

Warp Speed Plz
WE NEED TO GO TO PLAID

Okay.  Now that Bombelina’s been at 100 for a bit, I’ve gotten the Silver proving grounds requirement done for her DPS spec and I’ve had a chance to run a few dungeons, some normal and some heroic.  The proving grounds weren’t bad once I remembered which waves were what mobs, as NOT GETTING STUNNED helped with polishing a wave off with time to spare, which in turn let me prepare for the next by dropping my Capacitator Combustostunulator Totem, refreshing my Searing Totem and throwing out an Earthquake for the extra damage.

Dungeons?  Well …

We've Earned It So much wiping.  So much.

We’ve Earned It
So much wiping. So much.

Grimrail Depot: Bleh.  Can we talk camera angles?  I can’t see sheeyit, which is an issue, as I’ve accidentally pulled things more than once – I’ll think that I’ve tab-targeted THAT orc right in front of the tank, but it turns out to be that OTHER orc over THERE that I couldn’t see because of some crap hanging from the ceiling.  Also, my camera zooms in and out like it’s drunk.

Should Probably Shut Up Now But what if there are WATERLANDS too!?

Should Probably Shut Up Now
But what if there are WATERLANDS too!?

Shadowmoon Burial Grounds: Oooh, this one is purple, and that’s my favorite color!  But dear Gawd in heaven above, Ner’zhul is killer on dungeon groups who can’t coordinate worth crap.

The Birdhouse Skyreach: I don’t know why, but I seem to be super-challenged by narrow path wind mazes.  That one priest who tried to Life Grip me out had good intentions, but he probably wasn’t predicting that the wind on the stairs would blow me off said stairs to my death.  There’s also lag there, since my computer is old and reacts to the dramatic view distance by freaking the hell out.

Everbloom: What’s going on?  Where are we?  What the hell is with all these stupid golden flowers everywhere?

BOOMERANG ROCKS Who knew rocks could return to whoever threw 'em?

BOOMERANG ROCKS
Who knew rocks could return to whoever threw ’em?

Bloodmaul Slag Mines: Who let ogres have fire?  And who put a boss fight on a narrow bridge with giant stunning boulders of fiery death going back and forth?  Seriously, the only way they could’ve made that more painful for me was by placing the fight on some bridge made of STAIRS.  If I’m not getting my casts interrupted by dodging, I’m getting run over and stunned, and if it’s not either of those, then sorry, I can’t reincarnate right now, because I fell off the bridge and am in the lava.

No Invisible Wall Here Trust me, I tested.

No Invisible Wall Here
Trust me, I tested.

UBRS: Man, I so don’t remember Zaela having a batsheeyit crazyass voice prior to this expac … other than that, WE’RE ALL ON FIRE AND CAN WE KILL THOSE DRAKES OR SOMETHING BECAUSE FIRE NEVER MIND WE WIPED.

Dungeons have also made me reconsider which character I “main,” in the sense that I prioritize some alts over others.

In Cataclysm, I was so bad at shaman healing and so indifferent with elemental, I deleted my never-maxed shaman alt.  Then, I loved shaman in Mists.  Most importantly, the casting speeds were quick enough to work with my button mashing tendencies, while 300k mana meant that said button mashing didn’t cripple me when I got a little excited and went overboard – I could get my groove on with the rotation, if you know what I mean.  The rotation wasn’t too damn complex and it wasn’t overly reliant on procs that I couldn’t depend on (I HATE YOU FROST MAGE), while having just enough shiny button procs to keep things interesting.  The automatic double cast with Echo of the Elements made me feel like a default badass BECAUSE MORE CASTING.  Basically, Echo of the Elements made it like HAHAHAHAHA OMFG LAVA AND LIGHTNING EVERYWHERE HAHAHAHA.  I could use Lightning Bolt while moving, I loved my lightning elemental buddy from the SoO tier gear, and Ghost Wolf was like my next favorite thing ever. Bored while waiting for a pull, you say?  Ghost wolf and /dance!  I could DPS!  I could switch and heal!  I was versatile before Versatility existed!

Of course, the Powers That Be decreed this state of affairs wasn’t challenging enough.

I Miss Mine More Than You Miss Yours Uh, on second thought, since we died because of yours ...

I Miss Mine More Than You Miss Yours
Uh, on second thought, since we died because of yours …

Now, it feels like I am SO FREAKISHLY SLOW unless I get lucky with procs.  If we’re fighting mobs with minor amounts of HP (think the tiny trash spiders in Shadowmoon Burial Grounds), I may not even get a single cast off (depending on the competence of melee).  I’ve also noticed that my DPS has gone down the tubes to a degree that’s beyond “no longer wearing tier gear.”  Not only am I slow – I’m wimpy.  (In those cases where I am the top DPS in a dungeon, which has happened, we are totally slow and sometimes just effed, i.e., Ner’zhul.)  Is it because I don’t get as many spells off?  Is it because I hate the global cooldown triggered by Unleash Weapon when it feels like every freaking second counts if I want to get one damned cast in, and not using Unleash Weapon All The Time reduces your overall output by a crapton?  I’m not looking to be top DPS – I know that I don’t have the gear I used to.  It’s just that Shaman used to be a thing where I didn’t have to be some sort of freaking master gamer to land at #2 or #3 in terms of damage – I just had to pay attention and prioritize.  Now, even when I try hard, I’m still left way far behind.

The slow casting makes my button mashing tendencies worse because I get frustrated.  It’s a good thing that the red “that spell isn’t ready yet” messages disappear off the screen after about three of ’em or so – otherwise my screen would be covered.  I feel frustrated when a mob is already mostly dead and I still haven’t finished my first cast yet, which causes me to hit the buttons JUST BECAUSE CAST ALREADY DAMMIT.  Sometimes, my low DPS makes me irritated because it’s somehow not worth all the time I spent casting.  I also get annoyed when tanks pull two mobs instead of three, because I want the maximum number of charges on Earthquake for Gawd’s sake, HELP ME OUT HERE.

And I miss casting while moving, a lot.  I had one freaking spell I could use like that.  But nooooOOOOooooo that was TOO EASY, or something.  So now, not only can we NOT cast while moving in general (yes yes, I know, Spiritwalker’s Grace, which I use in tandem with Ascendance because OMFG does it PISS ME OFF when I use Ascendance and then have to interrupt my casts in order to move), we got a bunch of dungeon encounters where you have to move or DIE (OMFG NER’ZHUL), which means I get interrupted more often than not because I have to skedaddle.  Since I feel like my casts are slow right now, it starts to seem like getting a spell off AT ALL is something akin to a miracle.  All in the name of “challenge,” right?  Well, I call that sorta situation a PITA.

Not As Advertised Supposed to stop Fear, Charm, etc.  FAILS.

Not As Advertised
Supposed to stop Fear, Charm, etc. FAILS.

Also, dude, WTF, my tremor totem used to be, you know, USEFUL.  Now it doesn’t do a damned thing for Fear effects in dungeons, even though it says it should.  I am filled with small-time hate over that.

I know Blizzard can’t make everybody happy, and part of my problem is hanging onto the idea of the shaman as my main even when it’s obvious things have changed in a way my playstyle is not compatible with.  So my other two Horde options are Thermalix (ye old hunter), and Ignitine (goblin warlock with bad ideas).  From what I’ve seen through Dungeon Finder, neither class is derping quite as much as shaman is right now.  On the one hand, I wouldn’t have to worry about cast times or moving while casting on Thermalix.  On the other, Ignitine gets less crap simply by virtue of not being a hunter, and warlocks still have a lot of oomph.

Tangent: Can I just say I’m terrified of healing right now?  I’ve only done the Bronze proving grounds and haven’t even tried healing a real group, mostly because I’ve been watching the HP in these dungeons, and it seems clear that weaker healers struggle with the current setup.  (This goes for almost every single holy paladin I’ve met so far …)  It’s almost like the game design thought process is, “make mobs hit hard and make healing spells weaker, because keeping somebody at max health isn’t exciting or challenging!”  In practice, when one’s competence is determined by “keeping people alive” and that is most effectively done by keeping their HP as far away from death as possible, not having the same oomph sucks.  “This will limit healing to people who really want to do it,” you say.  “Only the people who are decent at it will do it!”  I guess so.  But putting the annoyance factor so high stops people from healing on the side, trying out a new spec or helping guildies/friends by healing a dungeon for ’em – and that seems like an overall loss.