Category Archives: Unfortunates Who Didn’t Make It

Alts Everywhere like Whee

I’ve been superbusy, you see, not because of the holiday but because of the whole ability to mail heirlooms to different servers.  THANK GAWD FOR MORE TRANSMOG STORAGE SPA… I mean, uh, yay!  More leveling!  I’ll be damned if messing around on the character creation screen isn’t fun, so I’ve ended up with a sea of small-time alts that I may never actually do anything with.  Only one of ’em has achieved “having a spec” yet.

I’ve come up with good names for some of them, but mostly, it’s like I’ve rediscovered the joy of hitting the “Randomize” button.   Ideally, it comes up with a good name so I don’t have to think too hard, but it (perhaps unsurprisingly) delivers mixed results.  There have been some that I never would have gotten on WRA – seriously, I landed a name that was only THREE FREAKING LETTERS long on another server!  (Yes, that sort of thing is amazing to me.)  But some of the names the “Randomize” button came up with have just confused me, like this one:

How is This Even a Name Is Blizzard setting me up to be reported, maybe?

How is This Even a Name
Is Blizzard setting me up to be reported, maybe?

I swear to Gawd I did not shop that name in.

A Million Shamans IMAGINE ALL THE CHAIN LIGHTNING

A Million Shamans
IMAGINE ALL THE CHAIN LIGHTNING

At this point, I’ve decided to “focus” on two of the alts, one Horde, one Alliance.  Splattini is a goblin disco priest, created with three goals in mind: learn how to dance Atonement heal, stalk Rep (since Rep moved some characters to that server, which isn’t PvP!), and maybe someday see her idol, Fabulor, in all his fab glory at the Shrine.  You know, someday, when she’s dressed to impress better and when she’s like … not level 13.

The other would be Yynsia, a draenei shaman who hasn’t picked specs yet.  One of them will definitely be resto, because I’ve been tempted to level another Alliance healy-type.  That way I can bring a different character to the Old Ladies Raiding Guild when whim strikes, and healers are always useful.  The big question for Yynsia is – enhancement or elemental?  On the one hand, I’d like to try enhancement, and I’ve got all the mail agility looms.  On the other hand, while you can mail heirlooms across servers now, the same cannot be said of money or, most importantly, bags!  I’m not sure if or when she’ll have the bag space to carry two sets of gear!

Lastly, when did I end up with two sets of leather agility heirlooms?  Well, you know what THAT means – TIME TO MAKE ANOTHER ALT.

You act like I got a problem.

Prepatch Roundup

Electrika Goldwasher, Who Would Heal You With Lava

Electrika Goldwasher, Who Would Heal You With Lava

Electrika
Gearscore: 514 (elemental) / 507 (restoration)
Quote: “OGOD WTF THE DAMAGE, IT HURTS”

  • Became the main for two reasons: OMFG LAVA YES HAHAHA and a second spec that actually does something other than more DPS.  Did I mention lava?  I need to point out lava again.  You know, that whole versatility thing.
  • Electrika will NEVER have enough valor, EVER.
  • Has no Lesser Charms/Mogu Runes of Fate of this writing and probably won’t by the time the patch rolls around, either.  /pro
  • Electrika has the current tier’s 4 piece set bonus on her elemental outfit – the first such thing for me in my entire WoW career.  FOUR WHOLE PIECES ERMAGERD.
  • Needs to freaking finish jewelcrafting.  She’s currently in Cata stuff, but I just.  Can’t.  Seem.  To take the last step.
  • I’ve discovered something that hurts more than Durumu’s purple bullsheeyit, and that is heroic Jin’Rokh’s dance party of death, featuring lightning orbs that … well, really hurt.
  • While the guild will be starting progression as soon as the Siege of Orgrimmar opens, it remains to be seen if Electrika will be present (being backup and all).
  • Will be the first of my characters to faceplant into the new content.
Thermalix Spendtrue, Professional Facepuller

Thermalix Spendtrue, Professional Facepuller

Thermalix
Gearscore: 506 (for all the specs because all she does is shoot things)
Quote: “How many colors does that come in?”

  • Hasn’t seen much action since she got a ToT LFR gun (her life’s goal is now complete) and Electrika became the main (Sorry Therm, bandaging people doesn’t count as healing), therefore she needs to relearn the finer points of Survival and Beast Mastery
  • Wants to tame the red version of Portent, as she has the purple, blue and green ones.
  • Needs to fill up her shiny new stable slots.
  • Wants to start a campaign for having a hunter-tamable murderaffe in game, as well as a petition of some sort for making a sha-snail the next big raid boss.
  • At some point, should begin and progress in the Brawler’s Guild.
Mechalis, Fast as a Rock With No Momentum!

Mechalis, Fast as a Rock With No Momentum!

Mechalis
Gearscore: 476
Quote: “WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

  • So Mechalis, being a Death Knight, has become my only Horde platewearer and thus has been given all the non class-specific plate transmogs originally planned for the deleted paladin.  Accordingly, she’s been running Black Temple with two monks, which has been surprisingly painful.  It’s not the damage that’s the problem.  It’s just that monks can move like they’re on a sugar high, and Mech can’t.  She spends all her time running after them, following the trail of dead bodies they leave behind!  Still, she can’t object to her primary role being looter-in-chief.
  • Wants to go to ICC for transmog gear, like just about every DK ever.  Can’t survive on her own, however, despite the reputation Death Knights have for being practically immortal.
Esplodine, Beauty Queen Most enchanting, least competent enchanter ever.

Esplodine, Beauty Queen
Most enchanting, least competent enchanter ever.

Esplodine
Gearscore: 471
Quote: “Seriously, who needs 4k for flying now!?  This is ridiculous.  You need HOW MUCH for that enchant!?  Gawd, I need to get that recipe some day.”

  • Somehow, the poor girl became the AH mastermind for my Hordeside characters.  Esplodine has a tendency to viciously undercut anyone on anything, because she gets sent ALL the things my other characters pick up, and she just wants to get rid of it all.  Right now.  Also, your high price on those ugly low level gloves is stupid.
  • Needs to sell those Darkspear tokens … now’s the time!  Also the last chance.
  • Needs to run LFR for enchanting mats.
  • Must befriend the Shado-pan and August Celestials for enchanting/tailoring recipe crap.  Or was that rep requirement getting removed?  Can’t remember.  Got the spellthread from the Golden Lotus, so all is well on that front at least.
Ignitine the Ebil Will Nuke All the Things

Ignitine the Ebil Will Nuke All the Things

Ignitine
Gearscore: N/A
Quote: “You made the shaman after me, so why am I still in Northrend?”

  • Needs to get to 80+ for transmog purposes.
  • Will not be choosing the Grimoire of Supremacy at 75 after all, because I find the sounds the Observer makes highly annoying.
Bombelina Likes Things Including fancy shoulders, lockboxes and not taking damage.

Bombelina Likes Things Including fancy shoulders, lockboxes and not taking damage.

Bombelina
Gearscore: N/A
Quote: “I’m working on it!”

  • Needs to freaking level or something, as it seems like she’s been 80 forever.  All the Ghost Iron lockboxes get sent to Mech, since she can craft keys and Bombelina’s too low to open them.  A maxed leatherworker would be nice, too.
  • Too embarrassed to use LFD with Bombelina.  My DPS is THAT BAD.
Alexalis Wishes Fist Weapons Would Drop in Pairs

Alexalis Wishes Fist Weapons Would Drop in Pairs

Alexalis
Gearscore: 463
Quote: “Wow, did I just see what I think I just saw?”

  • Alexa has to run LFR for gear.  Most important would be another fist weapon/one hander, because she currently has two hands but only one LFR weapon.  Problem!
  • Needs to get the belt for her mog set.  Seriously, it’s the last dang piece.
Ailabeth Blisswell.  Mind Control coming soon to a brain near you.

Ailabeth Blisswell. Mind Control coming soon to a brain near you.

Ailabeth
Gearscore: 444 (that’s a palindrome!)
Quote: “I can only do the Living Steel transmute for one of you two …”

  • Can be found hanging around mailboxes in the Shrine, making flasks for Electrika from herbs that Electrika provided.  Sometimes does Living Steel/Trillium transmutes for Thermalix or others.
  • Needs to get the dagger for her mog set.  Seriously, it’s the last dang piece.
  • Maybe get to 460 gearscore.
Betheki says, "Resto is easy!  Until you screw it up!"

Betheki says, “Resto is easy! Until you screw it up!”

Betheki
Gearscore: N/A
Quote: “NO! DON’T PULL ALL THE VRYKU…. sigh.  Yes yes, I know, I suck as a healer.”

  • Betheki is currently at that awkward stage where LFD dumps you in Utgarde Keep an awful lot, as well as that slightly painful stage where you feel all competent to start with, but then you realize that you’re using the entirely wrong spells because OMFG SHAMAN HABITS CRAP WE’RE DEAD.
  • Wishes tanks wouldn’t pull all the vrykul in the first little hallway of the Keep so she can take a moment to remember what to do other than “Cast Rejuvenation.”  But they never do, so she uses the wrong spell too slowly anyway, and everybody dies.
  • Thinking about switching her alt spec back to boomkin.  If shaman got better around the 70s, maybe boomkin will too?  I can’t do feral (too much like rogue), so it may be her only choice for her DPS alt spec.
Niremere Lane of the Noodlearms

Niremere Lane of the Noodlearms

Niremere
Gearscore: 482
Quote: “My repair bill is more than the gold I got from that …”

  • I hit like a puffball and take more damage than a tissue in the hands of someone with a sinus infection.  On the plus side, her noodle arms are now hitting for like, 50k!  Yay!
  • Got to the 480s at the request of Ty, who wanted to run heroic scenarios Alliance-side.
  • SOME DAY, THAT PLATE CHEST FROM SSC WILL DROP, I SWEAR.
  • Keeping up with content tied reps (like Operation: Shieldwall) has become increasingly difficult for Niremere, because I ran out of time I rely heavily on decent gear to help me compensate for how I can’t ret.  The problem with this strategy: as Nir has gotten farther behind on both rep/LFR and content, she has also gotten behind on gearing to the point where continuing in current stuff kinda sucks.  She still hasn’t finished the solo instances that open up the different parts of the Isle of Thunder (though I haven’t started those again since hitting 480).
Daschela Tel, in a mog she does not yet have

Daschela Tel, in a mog she does not yet have

Daschela
Gearscore: N/A
Quote: “Look, just because I have heirlooms doesn’t make me rich.  My money-making 90s are of the OPPOSITE FACTION.”  (Ok, so she said it a little less politely.)

  • I want to get Daschela to 90 so she can take over content/progression-tied reps for Nire, and also because I enjoy ranged more than melee.  Enjoyment is necessary when going through LFR!  (There ARE times when you just gotta smash crap in the face with a sword.  Still, I generally prefer being far, far away from potential ouch over mauling something up close and personal.  Preserving the sanctity of my hide is priority #1!)
  • I got several (some faction-specific) transmog plans in mind that look great on Draenei, though not so much on goblins, due to the way proportions of items change.  Must.  Complete.  Mog.  Sets.

Have you ever wondered what happens when ModelViewer screws up and you see all the possible hairdos and all the possible facial features, all at once?  No? Well, I’m here to give you nightmares, because it looks like this:

...uh, wow, can't unsee

…uh, wow, can’t unsee

[Edit: oops, hit publish before I added all the images.  WORK IN PROGRESS HERE, people.]

Hunter Appreciation Week: TAME ALL THE THINGS

Ah, hunters.

I Fear for the Ponies

I Fear for the Ponies

Once upon a time, after Deathwing got bored with destroying the world in general and took to hanging out in raids instead, a troll by the name of Versebelg came to be.  She had no heirlooms, no clue and no distinction of any sort.  Still, she understood mining and shooting things in the face, so all was well.

Versebelg actually did stuff like completing quest zones, since it took some time before she realized you didn’t actually have to finish one zone’s quest line in order to progress to the next.  She never used that thing called LFD until she was in the 80s and desperate to get out of Deepholm.  She was my first to ding 85, o proud day!

But once she discovered the magic of transmog, Versebelg felt deeply dissatisfied with the way her troll toes always hid her shoes.  Unhappily, she also realized the creepy similarity between her face and that of every other female troll she had ever met.  In this dark moment, A WILD THERMALIX APPEARED.  Named for the “therm” in things like thermometers, thermodynamics, thermonuclear radiation and so on, she stomped into the world intent on taming all the things in all the best outfits.

/derp

And crap happened.  Pets were tamed!  Derps were had!  There was much mogging!  Basically, the blog!

Cal is Long Suffering

Cal is Long Suffering

On the eve of patch 5.4, Thermalix Spendtrue is at ilevel 506 and stands as my second main, or primary alt if you will.  If I ever decide to go further with the Loremaster or Seeker titles, she’ll be my go-to-gal!  Not only does Therm have a huge head start on quests, but hunters are seriously THE BEST for soloing stuff.  They have a pocket tank that they can heal in addition to some crowd-controlling action for safety, and (of course) they can Feign Death if sheeyit gets outta hand. Ok, so she’s level 90 and the likelihood of things spiraling out of control in Mulgore is kinda low.  But she’s prepared JUST IN CASE!

Of course, hunters love their pets, so Therm was thrilled when Blizzard finally got over their “OMFG WOW IS NOT POKEMONZ” fears and increased stable space!  Therm’s tastes vary between the strange, the flamboyant and the downright adorable.

Think they’ll ever add tamable bunnies to the game?  Yes/no?

Project Platekini Part Two: “Not Saltstone” Set, or the “Fallen Dreams” Set

"Fallen Dreams" Set

“Fallen Dreams” Set

Class: Paladin

H: Not shown | S: Gladiator’s Scaled Shoulders | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Gladiator’s Scaled Chestpiece | Wa: Belt of the Fallen Emperor | L: Cenarion Thicket Legplates
G: Gauntlets of Raw Strength | Wr: Not shown | B: Cataclysmic Gladiator’s Warboots of Alacrity

Shield: Crest of Retribution
1h Sword: Greatsword of Horrid Dreams

Thoughts: If Helen of Troy had the face that launched a thousand ships, then this is the transmog set that launched one alt and a bazillion plans that still haven’t been finished (yet).  I almost called this the “Dat Ash” Set, but I maintain some pretense of dignity.

This is the set my sole blood elf was made for and undeleted for.  I had a moment of brilliance (Ermagerdda would be a GREAT name for a dwarf or an orc), combined with residual feelings of guilt (ERMAGERD ANOTHER BLOOD ELF THEY’RE LIKE 2/3RDS OF THE HORDE WTF), which mixed with the conversation of some friends who like to talk up how awesome warrior is.  So I deleted the blood elf and made Ermagerdda the Orc Warrior, only to realize that this set, as-is, can only be done on a paladin, what with the class-specific gear and all.  Craaaaap.

Lastly:

Blame Blizzard, Not the Mogger Seriously, I wouldn't go to some of these places if I didn't have to.

Blame Blizzard, Not the Mogger
Seriously, I wouldn’t go to some of these places if I didn’t have to.

“Savage Scout” Set, or, “How I Fail At Rogue-ing”

"Savage Scout" Set

“Savage Scout” Set

Class: Rogue, Monk, Druid (your weaponry may vary)

H: Scout’s Hood | S: Mantle of Darkness | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Vest of Welcome (Ebon Filigreed Doublet) | Wa: Taut Dragonhide Belt | L: Bogpaddle Leggings
G: Savage Handwraps | Wr: Not shown | B: Swabbie’s Booties

1h Axe: Silversnap Bottle Opener (because if that doesn’t look like a goblin weapon, I don’t know what does)
Dagger: Gutgore Ripper

Status: Finished

Thoughts: Breaking news!  This just in!  Bombelina dresses like an actual rogue, confuses the hell out of people, world explodes.  Details on the news at 10:00.

Poor Bombelina.

Ever since she landed in Outland, she had a deep suspicion that something was not quite right.  She never had quite enough energy to do all the things she wanted to, and it often felt like she was jabbing at mobs with a couple of sticks.  By the time she positioned herself correctly to stab something in the back, that something would already be dead or halfway across the room.  She liked her routines; getting in stealth was important and so was pickpocketing before the first strike (“Gotta get yer money’s worth,” she’d say).  But groups who ran from fight to fight left little time for that sort of stuff, leaving her feeling out of sorts.

Then there came The Day, as she calls it, when she had The Realization.  She was in a Violet Citadel LFD party, and for the first time ever, people started quoting Recount numbers at her.  She had always assumed that DPS numbers didn’t REALLY matter as long as you were seen fighting things and said things went down before party members did.  But it seemed she had passed some sort of threshold where Obviously Doing Stuff no longer sufficed to cover for her poor fighting skills.  She was no longer ignored.  No, it was fight, then Recount.  Fight, then Recount.  Fight, then Recount and a Polite Exchange of Words because OMFG really guys, you gonna keep on Recounting at me after EVERY FIGHT?

It was then that Bombelina saw just how awful a Combat rogue she actually was.  All she was good for was opening boxes and pickpocketing gnome effigies.  And if she was honest about it, that’s all she really wanted to do, anyway.

Still, it was depressing.  She’d always managed to cover for her not-quite anywhere near up-to-snuff DPS by being chatty and pleasant, but now it seemed nothing could compensate for her wimpy chicken arms.   Bombelina started letting herself go, so soon her gloves didn’t match.  Then her boots didn’t match either.  Eventually, her belt clashed, and Bombelina prayed to Gawd that no one saw her cloak and helm before she managed to hide those.  She put on a tabard to cover as much of the sartorial disaster as she could, but somehow, it did nothing but make those boots uglier than they already were.  She stopped going out in groups unless she knew the tank or the healer, fearful that without an Important Defender, she would almost certainly face snark she did not want to deal with.

In short, she became a goblin hermit of sorts.  She never left the Slums, and was usually seen hanging out by the mailbox, waiting for someone – anyone! – to send her another lockbox.  Lockboxes don’t quote Recount at you, and they always have TREASURES.

It was clearly time for an intervention.

A friend drew her out to Northrend with the promise of killing All The Things so she could skin them for leatherworking mats.  Leatherworking had gotten depressing too, you see.  Not wanting to say no to such a nice offer, Bombelina went out questing with him.  They murdered all the things with skins in Grizzly Hills (though you cannot skin all the things with skins) and leveled a bit.  Afterwards, she started to leave the Slums more often.  It was hard to go outdoors looking like such a hot mess, though, so it wasn’t long before she decided that another transmog was in order.

Here, we have the results.  Her DPS is still godawful, but at least she can /dance with pride.

Project Platekini Part 1: “Dark Embrace” Set

"Dark Embrace" Set

“Dark Embrace” Set

Class: Warrior, Paladin, Death Knight

H: Not shown | S: Pauldrons of Zul’Farrak | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Warrior’s Embrace | Wa: Winterfall Belt | L: Legguards of Stratholme
G: Diemetradon Plate Gloves | Wr: Not shown | B: Crustacean Stompers

Shield: Crest of Retribution
1h Sword: Crystal Sword

Thoughts: While platekini wouldn’t be realistically functional, it occurred to me that I was ignoring a whole area of transmog possibilities by not using any at all.  The matching metal bra/panties/stockings look by itself doesn’t do much for me, as I like a bit more complexity (or floofy accessories, whichever) to my armor these days.  So here’s the first set in Project Platekini, which is an attempt to find ways to make platekini pieces attractive to me by working them into more elaborate transmog sets.

A lot of ideas I had for this just didn’t look as great on someone who happens to be two feet tall and dark green, mostly due to the way the proportions of boots and gloves change.  I really couldn’t envision Niremere wearing these either, given her genesis in the human starting zones (WTF GOLDSHIRE WTB MANA BOMB) and subsequent personality development away from them.  She’s ever the practical type – and you’ll never convince me that anybody would WANT to wear platekini in, say, Northrend.  Putting aside the zombie infestation issue for a moment, can we say, “hello, hypothermia?”

Violaryn, as a blood elf, looks good in most things (so there IS a benefit to weighing five pounds!), and practicality is not part of the picture, since she was born to wear platekini.  She will SUFFER for her fashion, thank you.

p.s., I still maintain that platekini in general is fine, as long as men can wear platekini too … which Blizzard has been sadly delinquent on!  C’mon Blizz, need more skimpy outfits for teh menz.

p.p.s., ever notice how few gnomes and pandas you see in platekini?

p.p.s.s. BIG FEET ARE BEAUTIFUL GOSH DARN IT

“Lowbie Druid” Set

"Lowbie Druid" Set

“Lowbie Druid” Set

“Lowbie Druid” Set

Class: Druid (with staff), Rogue, Monk

H: Tracker’s Headband | S: Forest Leather Mantle | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Dervish Tunic | Wa: Huntsman’s Belt | L: Hawkeye’s Breeches
G: Gloves of Restoration | Wr: Not shown | B: Merciful Greaves

Staff: Staff of the Verdant Circle

Thoughts: This low-level leather set came about because I was so freaking desperate to have Daschela wearing something that matched, but she was not yet to the levels where a lot of cool looking leather armor becomes available.  I might’ve gone a little overboard with the matchy matchy, but you can’t deny that I have a unified color scheme. (And also that it’s mostly AH/dungeon drops, therefore, it’s easy to get.  Yay easy!)

What I really want to know is this: why are all the low level leather shoulders so hideous?  They’re almost always these enormous, plain, oversized shoulderpads that are invariably in some oogly color combo (like that olive and brown).  Dasch is only wearing these because she had no other options that would even remotely go.

Now that I think about it, I guess it doesn’t matter. These days, Dasch spends most of her time as a tree.