Name: Aeda Brightdawn
Semi-Bonus: An infernal summoned whenever she feels like it
Bonus: You can summon a party member!
Comments: Let’s be clear here – Aeda’s got some sorta ambition problem, and she likes to bite off way more than she can chew. Despite being a clothie without a minion of her own, she tries to tank everything. She will taunt off legit tanks who can actually tank. If somebody is fighting mobs near you, she will randomly leap over there and taunt all that too, regardless of whether or not that’s a smart move. She will taunt anything and everything, also with complete disregard to whether or not she actually stands a snowball’s chance in hell against it. Just the other day, I joined a group to kill Tarlna the Ageless, and you guessed it – Aeda tried tanking her, too. Yeah, no, Aeda. Not happening.
Prinnierating: Nope. Would not use again.
Semi-Bonus: An actually bloody-looking Bloodlust even if you don’t need it
Bonus: A command table, anywhere!
Comments: Extra extra bonus: if you are almost totally dead, he’ll cast the dinkiest Chain Heal ever. Chances are it won’t actually be super helpful if you’re getting smashed to pieces by a bazillion adds (that would make him unfairly better than the rest), but hey, at least you feel like he’s trying to be supportive. Leo here likes the Sun Rock, learning, and long walks around your Garrison on patrol. Now that I’ve maxed out rep with him, I’m starting to feel bad about the lack of learning opportunities he gets, and I’m avoiding him at all costs.
Prinnierating: Okay, until you suddenly realize you’re not cut out to teach anybody anything about the world.
Name: Talonpriest Ishaal
Class: Shadow Priest
Semi-Bonus: Not being crazy, I think
Bonus: Ishaal has a side contract with United Draenor Mail Service, so neither sleet, nor snow, nor a hail of orcs will stop you from getting your mail, no matter where you stand
Comments: At first, it seemed like the worst thing was going through all of Spires of Arak to get Ishaal, but then I realized it wasn’t that bad, since I needed the cash more than I hated the repetition. In the end, I saw one big problem: bodyguards in general when combined with a pet-based class played by someone who is also into pet battling and who may also be joined at any given moment by quest-based NPCs. Let’s see, there’s me, there’s my hunter pet, there’s my battle pet, there’s Rexxar’s bird, there’s my
bird bodyguard and his enormous mount, and sometimes he summons a thingiethenameofwhichIforget too!
Prinnierating: Dude is almost sane. If you’ve suffered through max reputation with Aeda, Ishaal seems almost forgettable – and that’s good.
Semi-Bonus: I don’t know, haven’t gotten that far
Bonus: Repairs, anywhere in Draenor, anytime
Comments: Tormmok is super close to a flight path and as a result he’s ridiculously easy to get, but even so, he happens to be standing nowhere in particular, which means you won’t run into him unless you’re specifically looking for him. I’ve gone through Gorgrond four times now, and only the last time did I know where to look. Tormmok has almost disturbingly defined nipples. Seriously. Whenever you look at him, he seems faceless thanks to the helm, so your eyes are drawn unwillingly ever downward, where they make themselves quite obvious. New idea for a feature: TRANSMOG FOR BODYGUARDS.
In other news, Tormmok is EXTREMELY TALL (well, compared to a goblin at least), and thus I keep on clicking on him rather than the NPC or item I actually want to interact with.
Prinnierating: He’d be better if he would stand a little farther to one side so I can see NPCs again. [EDIT: Just read the patch notes and saw “A vendor at the Barracks now sells an item that allows a character to shrink their Bodyguards for 60 minutes.” PERFECT.]
Class: Confused Mage
Semi-Bonus: ZOMG METEORS!!! (And a Cauterize should you be near death)
Bonus: A portal back to your Garrison!
Comments: Vivianne is chatty to the point of being somewhat irritating (like pretty much every NPC ever in WoD). We were in Nagrand one day when she went totally bonkers on me and wouldn’t stop saying the same things over and over and over, even when we were just standing there. Reloading did nothing, so it turned awkward. I didn’t know whether I should scream back or do the good ol’ polite smile-and-nod while privately hoping she’d get herself together sometime soon. Suffice it to say, the experience made me feel a bit iffy on Vivianne. Still, lots of people loooooooove her sayings, so I guess I’m the only one she’s done that to.
Also, p.s., on the “Vivianne, what are you smoking?” front, her phrases aren’t necessarily, uh, applicable to the mob in question (see image, above).
Prinnierating: Okay, as long as she doesn’t lose it.