Tag Archives: alexalis

Pow! Bam! Smack! Wham!

The simple act of punching some poor mob in the face has a long and storied history in Azeroth, starting way back when in the dark ages known as Vanilla.  People of that era felt compelled to level up their skill in unarmed combat.  It seems strange to us now, but life in those days was rough, and you never knew when you might have to smash in someone’s schnozz.  More recently, this “punch the @#$%er in the face!” fighting technique has resurfaced for those who vastly outlevel the quest content they happen to be doing.  Why, my buddy Kash was in that very situation the other night!  Her character was buff beyond belief in comparison to the zone’s monsters, so in order to finish up the quest chain for a transmog item she wanted, she had to remove her weapon and strip all her gear.

LFR was being unusually docile* that evening, which left me with some extra time on my hands.  I had an idea.  It was not just a plain old idea, oh no – it was a freaking brilliant idea, and I lost no time sharing it.  “Let’s go punch our way through all the old raids ever,” I saidKash agreed that this was a genius time-wasting concept, so I set about creating a raid group devoted to naked fisticuffs with old school bosses.  I spent ages cajoling, demanding and insisting with virtually everybody on my friends list, but weirdly, nobody else wanted to come.  (Seriously, guys, where are your priorities!?)

Punchathon in Tempest Keep I just don't know why there are so few of us willing to do this kinda sheeyit out there.

Punchathon in Tempest Keep
I just don’t know why there are so few of us willing to do this kinda sheeyit out there.

So in the end, it was just Kash and me.  We had ambitious plans when we first started, which included taking on everything BC, battering all things Lich King, and ultimately ending up KO’ing Deathwing, all with our puny fists.  As you’ve probably guessed, we badly underestimated the amount of time it takes for two people to punch trash and raid bosses to death.

Punchathon in Tempest Keep Don't need no stinkin' pants.

Punchathon in Tempest Keep
Don’t need no stinkin’ pants.

We decided on a “no skills whatsoever” rule, so I brought Alexalis, assuming that as a Mistweaver monk, her punchy-healy goodness would keep our tiny party alive without anybody actually having to use healing abilities.  Kash was smart, and brought a tabard with her.  I didn’t think that far ahead, but I did have a shirt on by accident!  (I forgot Alexalis even had one …)

Punchathon in Tempest Keep Come at me!

Punchathon in Tempest Keep
Come at me!

We started off with Tempest Keep.  All seemed well at first, and we made it through the trash easily (if slowly) just by swinging our fists.  But then we started down the slippery slope of skill usage with Al’ar, who kept flying away.  Movement abilities were okay, we decreed, just not fighty-fighty abilities.  Unfortunately for us, old content still has berserk timers, and we went way past that limit.  Unfortunately for Al’ar, he couldn’t put much of a dent in us, even when he was berserked.  Still, it took so damn long, we concluded that fighty-fighty abilities were okay, as long as you weren’t using a weapon.

Punchathon in Tempest Keep I mean seriously, can't he just stay over here and get punched to death like a respectable raid boss?

Punchathon in Tempest Keep
I mean seriously, can’t he just stay over here and get punched to death like a respectable raid boss?

Goa then made the mistake of logging in, and in short order I dragged him into the Keep in time to face off against the Void Reaver.

Punchathon in Tempest Keep Void Reaver's warranty has been voided.  EL OH EL OH okay, shutting up now.

Punchathon in Tempest Keep
Void Reaver’s warranty has been voided. EL OH EL OH okay, shutting up now.

We’d forgotten that Goa, being a warrior, couldn’t use any skills whatsoever without weapons, and that just didn’t seem fair somehow.  We let him use his weapons after that, mostly so he could press some buttons, but also because it sped things up a good deal.  It’s not that we couldn’t punch everything to death, but more that the punching-only rule was sucking up more time than we had to waste – dinnertime was coming upon us fast.  We skipped Solarian or whatever her name is, and went directly to the top, getting into a fist (and dual mace) fight with Kael’thas.  We eventually managed to take him out – and promptly forgot to take a good picture.

Punchathon in Tempest Keep It turns out that if you run in circles around Kael-ol-buddy here, he'll shuffle around so fast he knocks himself out.  (Sorta.)

Punchathon in Tempest Keep
It turns out that if you run in circles around Kael-ol-buddy here, he’ll shuffle around so fast he knocks himself out. (Sorta.)

 

 

 

 

 

*So we came to the Spoils fight, and as usual, people started talking to the damned box and starting the fight even though groups hadn’t been split up yet.  Irritated, I told ’em, “don’t start it up yet, ya derps,” and they stopped.  Weirder yet, nobody objected to being called a “derp.”  Even stranger still, nobody insulted me, my momma and my DPS for telling them what to do.

Prepatch Roundup

Electrika Goldwasher, Who Would Heal You With Lava

Electrika Goldwasher, Who Would Heal You With Lava

Electrika
Gearscore: 514 (elemental) / 507 (restoration)
Quote: “OGOD WTF THE DAMAGE, IT HURTS”

  • Became the main for two reasons: OMFG LAVA YES HAHAHA and a second spec that actually does something other than more DPS.  Did I mention lava?  I need to point out lava again.  You know, that whole versatility thing.
  • Electrika will NEVER have enough valor, EVER.
  • Has no Lesser Charms/Mogu Runes of Fate of this writing and probably won’t by the time the patch rolls around, either.  /pro
  • Electrika has the current tier’s 4 piece set bonus on her elemental outfit – the first such thing for me in my entire WoW career.  FOUR WHOLE PIECES ERMAGERD.
  • Needs to freaking finish jewelcrafting.  She’s currently in Cata stuff, but I just.  Can’t.  Seem.  To take the last step.
  • I’ve discovered something that hurts more than Durumu’s purple bullsheeyit, and that is heroic Jin’Rokh’s dance party of death, featuring lightning orbs that … well, really hurt.
  • While the guild will be starting progression as soon as the Siege of Orgrimmar opens, it remains to be seen if Electrika will be present (being backup and all).
  • Will be the first of my characters to faceplant into the new content.
Thermalix Spendtrue, Professional Facepuller

Thermalix Spendtrue, Professional Facepuller

Thermalix
Gearscore: 506 (for all the specs because all she does is shoot things)
Quote: “How many colors does that come in?”

  • Hasn’t seen much action since she got a ToT LFR gun (her life’s goal is now complete) and Electrika became the main (Sorry Therm, bandaging people doesn’t count as healing), therefore she needs to relearn the finer points of Survival and Beast Mastery
  • Wants to tame the red version of Portent, as she has the purple, blue and green ones.
  • Needs to fill up her shiny new stable slots.
  • Wants to start a campaign for having a hunter-tamable murderaffe in game, as well as a petition of some sort for making a sha-snail the next big raid boss.
  • At some point, should begin and progress in the Brawler’s Guild.
Mechalis, Fast as a Rock With No Momentum!

Mechalis, Fast as a Rock With No Momentum!

Mechalis
Gearscore: 476
Quote: “WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

  • So Mechalis, being a Death Knight, has become my only Horde platewearer and thus has been given all the non class-specific plate transmogs originally planned for the deleted paladin.  Accordingly, she’s been running Black Temple with two monks, which has been surprisingly painful.  It’s not the damage that’s the problem.  It’s just that monks can move like they’re on a sugar high, and Mech can’t.  She spends all her time running after them, following the trail of dead bodies they leave behind!  Still, she can’t object to her primary role being looter-in-chief.
  • Wants to go to ICC for transmog gear, like just about every DK ever.  Can’t survive on her own, however, despite the reputation Death Knights have for being practically immortal.
Esplodine, Beauty Queen Most enchanting, least competent enchanter ever.

Esplodine, Beauty Queen
Most enchanting, least competent enchanter ever.

Esplodine
Gearscore: 471
Quote: “Seriously, who needs 4k for flying now!?  This is ridiculous.  You need HOW MUCH for that enchant!?  Gawd, I need to get that recipe some day.”

  • Somehow, the poor girl became the AH mastermind for my Hordeside characters.  Esplodine has a tendency to viciously undercut anyone on anything, because she gets sent ALL the things my other characters pick up, and she just wants to get rid of it all.  Right now.  Also, your high price on those ugly low level gloves is stupid.
  • Needs to sell those Darkspear tokens … now’s the time!  Also the last chance.
  • Needs to run LFR for enchanting mats.
  • Must befriend the Shado-pan and August Celestials for enchanting/tailoring recipe crap.  Or was that rep requirement getting removed?  Can’t remember.  Got the spellthread from the Golden Lotus, so all is well on that front at least.
Ignitine the Ebil Will Nuke All the Things

Ignitine the Ebil Will Nuke All the Things

Ignitine
Gearscore: N/A
Quote: “You made the shaman after me, so why am I still in Northrend?”

  • Needs to get to 80+ for transmog purposes.
  • Will not be choosing the Grimoire of Supremacy at 75 after all, because I find the sounds the Observer makes highly annoying.
Bombelina Likes Things Including fancy shoulders, lockboxes and not taking damage.

Bombelina Likes Things Including fancy shoulders, lockboxes and not taking damage.

Bombelina
Gearscore: N/A
Quote: “I’m working on it!”

  • Needs to freaking level or something, as it seems like she’s been 80 forever.  All the Ghost Iron lockboxes get sent to Mech, since she can craft keys and Bombelina’s too low to open them.  A maxed leatherworker would be nice, too.
  • Too embarrassed to use LFD with Bombelina.  My DPS is THAT BAD.
Alexalis Wishes Fist Weapons Would Drop in Pairs

Alexalis Wishes Fist Weapons Would Drop in Pairs

Alexalis
Gearscore: 463
Quote: “Wow, did I just see what I think I just saw?”

  • Alexa has to run LFR for gear.  Most important would be another fist weapon/one hander, because she currently has two hands but only one LFR weapon.  Problem!
  • Needs to get the belt for her mog set.  Seriously, it’s the last dang piece.
Ailabeth Blisswell.  Mind Control coming soon to a brain near you.

Ailabeth Blisswell. Mind Control coming soon to a brain near you.

Ailabeth
Gearscore: 444 (that’s a palindrome!)
Quote: “I can only do the Living Steel transmute for one of you two …”

  • Can be found hanging around mailboxes in the Shrine, making flasks for Electrika from herbs that Electrika provided.  Sometimes does Living Steel/Trillium transmutes for Thermalix or others.
  • Needs to get the dagger for her mog set.  Seriously, it’s the last dang piece.
  • Maybe get to 460 gearscore.
Betheki says, "Resto is easy!  Until you screw it up!"

Betheki says, “Resto is easy! Until you screw it up!”

Betheki
Gearscore: N/A
Quote: “NO! DON’T PULL ALL THE VRYKU…. sigh.  Yes yes, I know, I suck as a healer.”

  • Betheki is currently at that awkward stage where LFD dumps you in Utgarde Keep an awful lot, as well as that slightly painful stage where you feel all competent to start with, but then you realize that you’re using the entirely wrong spells because OMFG SHAMAN HABITS CRAP WE’RE DEAD.
  • Wishes tanks wouldn’t pull all the vrykul in the first little hallway of the Keep so she can take a moment to remember what to do other than “Cast Rejuvenation.”  But they never do, so she uses the wrong spell too slowly anyway, and everybody dies.
  • Thinking about switching her alt spec back to boomkin.  If shaman got better around the 70s, maybe boomkin will too?  I can’t do feral (too much like rogue), so it may be her only choice for her DPS alt spec.
Niremere Lane of the Noodlearms

Niremere Lane of the Noodlearms

Niremere
Gearscore: 482
Quote: “My repair bill is more than the gold I got from that …”

  • I hit like a puffball and take more damage than a tissue in the hands of someone with a sinus infection.  On the plus side, her noodle arms are now hitting for like, 50k!  Yay!
  • Got to the 480s at the request of Ty, who wanted to run heroic scenarios Alliance-side.
  • SOME DAY, THAT PLATE CHEST FROM SSC WILL DROP, I SWEAR.
  • Keeping up with content tied reps (like Operation: Shieldwall) has become increasingly difficult for Niremere, because I ran out of time I rely heavily on decent gear to help me compensate for how I can’t ret.  The problem with this strategy: as Nir has gotten farther behind on both rep/LFR and content, she has also gotten behind on gearing to the point where continuing in current stuff kinda sucks.  She still hasn’t finished the solo instances that open up the different parts of the Isle of Thunder (though I haven’t started those again since hitting 480).
Daschela Tel, in a mog she does not yet have

Daschela Tel, in a mog she does not yet have

Daschela
Gearscore: N/A
Quote: “Look, just because I have heirlooms doesn’t make me rich.  My money-making 90s are of the OPPOSITE FACTION.”  (Ok, so she said it a little less politely.)

  • I want to get Daschela to 90 so she can take over content/progression-tied reps for Nire, and also because I enjoy ranged more than melee.  Enjoyment is necessary when going through LFR!  (There ARE times when you just gotta smash crap in the face with a sword.  Still, I generally prefer being far, far away from potential ouch over mauling something up close and personal.  Preserving the sanctity of my hide is priority #1!)
  • I got several (some faction-specific) transmog plans in mind that look great on Draenei, though not so much on goblins, due to the way proportions of items change.  Must.  Complete.  Mog.  Sets.

Have you ever wondered what happens when ModelViewer screws up and you see all the possible hairdos and all the possible facial features, all at once?  No? Well, I’m here to give you nightmares, because it looks like this:

...uh, wow, can't unsee

…uh, wow, can’t unsee

[Edit: oops, hit publish before I added all the images.  WORK IN PROGRESS HERE, people.]

I Love the 90s

This Could Be A Sign A sign of an alt problem.

This Could Be A Sign
A sign of an alt problem.

Does this mean I have a problem yet?

While I’m trying to get some alts more acceptably/powerfully geared, I am trying to avoid the same kind of single-minded, dailies-based effort I devoted to Thermalix.  I do have Commendations for most Pandaland reps, so if I DO decide to grind one on an alt, that’ll be a bit easier than before.

Logic, We Haz It Because RNG has burned it into our souls.

Logic, We Haz It
Because RNG has burned it into our souls.

#1, Thermalix
Current Gear Score: 497
Current Spec: Beast Mastery

Thoughts: Loot specialization for a class that is all DPS all the time makes me laugh.  JUST GIVE ME A BOW FOR GAWD’S SAKE I DON’T CARE ABOUT SPECIALIZATION UNLESS I CAN SPECIALIZE “WEAPON” OVER “ARMOR.”  If you need me, I’ll be in my corner crying.

Therm’s the one who gets asked to do stuff, solely by virtue of her gearscore.  It doesn’t mean she really helps in any way, though.  One thing that IS nice about having a gearscore near 500 is that her armor is pretty stable – I’m not replacing pieces all the time, so enchanting/gemming/reforging costs are lower.  One bad thing is that I often forget to do it.

#2, Niremere
Current Gear Score: 468 equipped
Current Spec: Protection

Thoughts: I’m most interested in improving Nir’s gear right now.  I simply don’t spend as much time Alliance-side, so I’m not as connected with her guild members as I would be otherwise.  Unfortunately, social bonds are what makes old school raid runs happen – you can’t just log on one day and announce “HEY GUYS, LET’S GO TO THE SUNWELL,” because nobody will move an inch.  So if I want transmog gear from this place or that, I’m really on my own – and I want Nir to be as independent as possible.

I also want to suck less as a tank.

Niremere is able to run the first part of Mogu’shan Vaults, but I haven’t done so for a number of reasons (including LFR stage fright).  She’s mostly enchanted/gemmed, but I refuse to spend 3k on a weapon enchant for a heroic sword that I’m going to drop at the first possible chance.  Wait, given how long Therm’s had her heroic bow, that may be dumb.  On third thought, I actually don’t have anywhere near 3k gold on Nir, so … NEVER MIND.

It feels like she’s in a hugely awkward phase gear-wise right now.  I have to reforge pretty much EVERYTHING to Hit and Expertise.  Before I did that, her hit was around 2%.  TWO.  PERCENT.  Sometimes I lose stats that I don’t care about, but a lot of the time I’m giving up tanky-type things like Parry and whatnot just so I can HIT THE DAMN MOBS and hopefully keep a bit more aggro.

Healing me seems to be way difficult.  Subpar healers can’t keep me up.  If the healer is good, I still manage to suck their mana dry unless they’re geared in crap from Throne of Thunder.  Part of it is relearning the heroics from a tank perspective instead of ranged (FOR GOD’S SAKE MOVE, YOU’RE GOING TO GET STUNNED), but I worry that some of it is my bad gear and the insane reforging for hit/expertise.  But if I don’t hit crap, then I have an even WORSE aggro problem.

Starting somewhere around late Cata and continuing into Pandaland, I’ve been having a lot more trouble holding aggro – I no longer have the huge aggro margins I used to easily sustain.  On bosses, I’m thrilled if I can keep it around above 100%, but I often can’t.  I have to yank aggro back from the top DPS frequently.  I’ve even been putting Hand of Salvation on whoever gets aggro from me, but it doesn’t help much.  It’s time not spent on using skills that build more aggro, so he or she just pulls it right on back.  Sometimes it’s trash, sometimes it’s bosses, but quite often the mob is yoyo-ing back and forth.  It’s REALLY bad when I have DPS in Throne of Thunder raid gear, bad enough that I sometimes give up on trying to get the aggro back.  They outDPS me by twenty miles.  I’m using all the skills I got and I just can’t keep up.

This is probably the biggest reason I haven’t taken Nir into LFR.  I KNOW what the response will be if I can’t keep the boss’ attention, I just don’t know how they’ll phrase it – and I don’t want to find out.

#3, Alexalis
Current Gear Score: 463
Current Spec: Windwalker

Thoughts: Not much for some reason.  Probably because I’m more obsessed with Not Being a Failtank on Nir.  Has most of the farm unlocked, though, if only she’d use it.

#4, Mechalis
Current Gear Score: 468
Current Spec: Unholy

Thoughts: Look at this picture.

Gawd is in the Irony Starshatter is a really nice looking sword, you gotta admit.

Gawd is in the Irony
Starshatter is a really nice looking sword though, you gotta admit.

Mech has run Vaults three times.  That’s right.  Three, and lo, there was A WEAPON.  WTF RNG?  WTF!

Anyway, fights are much harder for me as melee because … well, because I’m not ranged.  Crap keeps moving out of range, or I have to move out of something that I’d normally never be anywhere near.  I’m used to moving some, like for Flanking Orders, but melee has to move ALL THE TIME.  Move into this one attack.  Move outta that one attack.  Tank drags the boss over there for some unclear reason?  Gotta move over there.  Add?  Gotta run all the way over there, then gotta run all the way back to the boss.

Alexalis has the running easier, what with the way monks roll.  For some reason, though, I prefer the DK’s self healing (it feels more effective).  I like self healing A LOT.  This is because when you’re not one of the top DPSers, healers don’t really give a crap about you.  You gotta keep your own self up when the going gets tough and the mana gets low.

Her heroic tanking set is almost complete.  I wonder if I’ll have the same kind of aggro problems …

#5, Ailabeth
Current Gear Score: 441
Current Spec: Shadow

Thoughts: EL OH EL JUST GOT HERE GUYS HAVEN’T REALLY RUN ANY HEROICS YET LOLZ.

All A Matter of Perspective Cal's got my type down pretty well.

All A Matter of Perspective
Cal’s got my type down pretty well.

Barrination

So, let’s talk about the Barrens.

My few weeks back in Vanilla left me with two rather uncomfortable memories: being dumb enough to roll on a PvP realm and also being dumb enough to read Barrens chat, which was the Trade of its day.  Fortunately, I’ve since gotten smarter and am on an RP realm in addition to turning off all the channels ever!  So all I really see there nowadays is the yelling of countless Kor’kron commanders and the problems endless Kor’kron caravans are having with that whole staying upright in the face of gravity thing.

There are many ways you can acquire the supplies (wood, oil, meat and stone) you need for the weekly quest/awesome stuff, but there’s pretty much only one way that’s efficient – killing commanders.  Killing regular mobs gets you too few items to be worth the effort considering the damage they do, even if you ignore the fact that you need 150 of each to turn in the quest!  While overturned caravans provide easy looting of said supplies, the map doesn’t update nearly fast enough to make them useful to you whatsoever.  You might accidentally be near one when the map decides to show you where it is, but if you’re not?  Blah!  It’s pointless to go look through the entire zone.  You have a better chance of getting to a commander and trying to help kill it than you do at locating an overturned caravan and looting something from it before Everybody Else does.

Far Away is Safer And a hell of a lot easier.  Or maybe that's the item level talking.

Far Away is Safer
And a hell of a lot easier. Or maybe that’s the item level talking.

You can escort caravans for your faction as well, but there’s one problem – they spawn randomly and in areas that are not always indicated on the map by text or icon, so have fun finding them.  Actually, there are two problems, now that I think about it – the opposite faction can destroy your caravan.  NO THANKS, I NEED LESS FUTILITY IN MY LIFE.

So far, I’ve managed to get Thermalix, Alexalis, Mechalis and Niremere through the requirements for the event title, which includes one run of the weekly quest.  I’ve definitely had the most trouble with Alexalis and Niremere.

Alexa’s problems were almost entirely gear-related – being melee is dangerous since the commanders throw out a lot of damage in their immediate vicinity (especially if everybody misses the interrupts), and the poor girl just kept getting smashed to bits.  Nir, however, had to deal with both low gear AND the threat of getting smashed to bits by the far more numerous Horde.  Blah.

It's the Principle of the Thing There are a lot more Horde here than commanders.

It’s the Principle of the Thing
There are a lot more Horde here than commanders.

My main issue with the “killing commanders” method of gathering is just how easy it is to get flagged by accident, even though WRA is an RP realm.  I’m normally quite careful never to flag myself, as I’m pretty convinced “stranger danger” is totally real when it comes to getting shanked in the back by the opposing faction.  Unfortunately, if some Horde/Alliance happens to be flagged and uses an AoE that I just HAPPEN to get hit by, that’s it, I’m flagged.  If I use an AoE that hits a flagged member of the opposing faction, welp, that’s that.

On most of my characters, I’m pretty competent with single-target attacks and so I’m able to at least avoid flagging myself THAT way.  But poor Nir, poor Nir.  Since she’s a Protection Paladin, my normal mode of operation is GO AND SMASH ALL THE THINGS AND GET ALL THE AGGRO AOE AVENGER’S SHIELD AOE CONSECRATION SMASH HAMMER OF THE RIGHTEOUS SMASH SMASH RAAAR.  This is bad in the Barrens.  Unfortunately, if I change her spec to Retribution (where I am slightly better at attacking with single-target skills but where I am far less capable of good DPS overall), I leave her extremely vulnerable when she does get flagged.  I know, I do better DPS as Protection, WTF.

Thanks to the PvP changes that have taken place (THANK GAWD, I DON’T JUST FALL OVER DEAD and THIS IS AMAZING), getting flagged isn’t ALWAYS an immediate disaster.  Since I’m not terribad at hunter, Therm can actually defend herself now, which is AMAZING.  (Did I mention how it’s AMAZING?  Because it is.)  Mech is fine if she gets flagged.  She’ll Asphyxiate you, get you all good and infected and then Death Strike to survive until somebody else comes along to help.  Alexa never had flagging issues because she was just dead already nine times out of ten.  But Nir?  I just can’t do Ret to save my life.  Last time she got hit by some Tauren DK’s AoE and got flagged, I gave up, stood there and waited to die (which didn’t take long, thanks to bad gear and lots of Horde).  I didn’t even bother to bubble/hearth.  It was like, “GET IT OVER WITH, GAWD, SO I CAN RUN BACK AND LOOT THIS THING.”

Anyhoo, Thermalix managed to loot the Latent Kor’kron Helm and Boots, while Cal donated two shoulder tokens to her.  I was about to squee for IMPROVEMENTS YAY, until I learned that they turn into 489 gear.  Therm’s shoulders, bought after I devoted far too much blood, sweat and tears to the sadistic pandas known as the Golden Lotus, are already 489.  Her helm is 502.  Her boots are 502 (twice over now, thanks to Tortos).

She did waste one shoulder token because she wanted to know what it looked like, but she sent the rest to Mech and Alexa.

CAN I LOOT THIS YET GEEZE Sorry, the loot you are trying to reach is currently unavailable.  Please try again or give up el oh el.

CAN I LOOT THIS YET GEEZE
Sorry, the loot you are trying to reach is currently unavailable. Please try again or give up el oh el.

There is ONE THING that I really want to happen in the Barrens RIGHT NOW.  MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR MULTIPLE PEOPLE TO LOOT THE COMMANDERS AT ONCE.  GAWD!

“Warning of the Bloodtusk” Set

"Warning of the Bloodtusk" Set

“Warning of the Bloodtusk” Set

Class: Monk, Druid, Rogue (without staff/polearm and/or waist)

H: Not shown | S: Bloodtusk Shoulderpads | Cl: Phantasmal Drape
Ch: Feral Harness | Wa: Red Belt of Unspoken Warning | L: Oilskin Leggings
G: Loramus’ Gloves | Wr: Not shown | B: Blighted Leather Footpads

Polearm: Grizzly Glaive

Status: Finished

Thoughts: Because trolls, mon!  Cal found these lovely (if you appreciate skulls) shoulders on the Isle of Thunder and sent them to me, so of course I had to make an outfit inspired by them.  It’s somewhat ironic, because I’m terrified to actually GO to Dailyland on Alexalis.  Her gear score is only 440-something!  SHE IS GONNA DIIIEEE.

Alexa last used the Feral Harness about, oh, maybe fifty or sixty levels ago, so I was surprised when I discovered it still sitting in the bank.  I was somewhat startled to find it at all – I must’ve blacked out all the memories of her wearing it, because those definitely are buckles on her bewbs and I normally don’t choose uncomfortable things like that.  I landed the pants on some long ago Uldaman run and promptly dumped them into the bank, where they remained until this Long Awaited Day™.  The shoes confused me by dropping on my first Halls of Reflection run for them, and the gloves merely required questing.  What was tough was the weapon … possibly made worse by the fact that OMG I can transmog staves and polearms together now yayayayayayay.  I actually had to go and make up my MIND!

First, I went with Flame Wrath, which I have never used but have been holding onto since the 50s.  Unfortunately, because monks position staves and polearms upside down on their backs, it looked like the weapon was about to set her butt on fire.  No good.  I don’t think Alexa would’ve been perturbed – just sew a new one on or something – but I just couldn’t stop thinking about how AWKWARD that would be.

So then I tried the Orca-Hunter’s Harpoon, thinking the bronzey accents might go.  It wasn’t BAD, exactly, but it wasn’t great either.

Next, I thought “TERROK’S QUILL!  That’s it!”  Then I remembered it had black on it, which wouldn’t be echoed anywhere else in the outfit.  Also, I discovered that I had already done the quest for it and gone with the mask reward instead.

After that, the Staff of the Plague Beast was clearly the answer, since it had red wrapping on a pointy handle.  Turned out the dragon’s head was too bright and distracting (LOLZ ORANGE).

At some point, Fel pointed out the Grizzly Glaive to me, and we rejoiced at finding something that 1.) had the red and the bronze from the shoulders, 2.) wasn’t TOO troll-like because we are talking Forsaken here, and 3.) didn’t look totally dumb upside down.  We mourned almost immediately, though, since we realized it was a random world drop.  My luck with that sort of thing is historically bad.

That said, I randomly chose to visit the AH one early morning and found it there for 50g, a real steal (especially when considering transmog prices on WRA these days).  DONE.

Becoming One With the Derp

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Let your worries flow from your body, and allow yourself to become one with the derp.

Or more accurately, level a DPS to 90 and then you’ll BE the derp, thanks to the amount of time spent traipsing around in Pandaland by your lonesome.  Blingtron being everywhere you go doesn’t faze you, but you’re startled when people actually say things out loud in the Shrine.  You’re jaded and you’ve lost your patience.  (I’m just telling you, those mother trucking hyenas were ASKING to die!  They should’ve just let me skin their buddy in peace!)  You wonder if that jerk of a questgiver really gave you all the quests he had, or if he’s just going to send you back to almost the same dang spot for something else.  Wait, were you there before?  You’re not sure anymore.  It’s all blending together … ding!  Level 90.  Clarity of derp achieved.

Some people craft gorgeous, useful jewels.  Some people engineer creative devices.I derp.

Some people craft gorgeous, useful jewels. Some people engineer creative devices.
I derp.

In all, Alexalis followed the same pattern established by my ninety million alts already in Pandaland:

The Pandarian JourneyI hear people quest in that Krasarangarang place.

The Pandarian Journey
I hear people quest in that Krasarangarang place.

  • Land in the Jade Forest.  Cue the pandas and Sha.
  • Leave the Jade Forest ASAP, because hozen.  Virmen take the stage.
  • At level 87, realize I can totally go to Kun-Lai Summit now and there’s a 24 SLOT BAG there! Hell yeah!
  • Decide to open up the Eternal Vale first in order to hearth at the shrine, since the return portal from Org is on the wrong side of Pandaland for pretty much any zone that isn’t the Jade Forest.  Bag tomorrow.
  • Get the bag from the quests.
  • Wonder what to do now that I’ve achieved my dream of increased storage space.
  • Quest aimlessly, shuffling from Townlong to Dread Wastes, depending on which seems the least agonizing at that exact moment in time.

During the course of 85 to 90, Alexalis encountered two rares, Sele’na and Lon the Bull.  She successfully defeated Sele’na, but lost to Lon.  She had the misfortune of meeting him exactly when everything ever in the area respawned, and that was just way too many mad cows at once.

Speaking of derping, I regularly catch myself referring to her spec as “Windwaker,” even though she’s used that spec for almost all of her 90 levels.  They’re totally similar, am I right?  Right?

Pigses.

Pigses.

Alexalis and Mr. WigglesThere may be a bit more suspicion in this relationship.

Alexalis and Mr. Wiggles
There may be a bit more suspicion in this relationship..

Decisionating

Flying baby pandas yay!  (Until the Forsaken DK kills them all because Forsaken DKs are generally cranky.)

Flying baby pandas yay!
(Until the Forsaken DK kills them all because Forsaken DKs are generally cranky.)

Putting aside Thermalix and Niremere for the moment (since they count as the mains for their respective factions), now that I think about it, I have four alts in Pandaland.  FOUR.  What am I doing!?  I need to pick one and level her to 90.  You know, “choosing,” that act of making a decision and following through on it?  Yeah, that thing.

Mechalis, the Level 88 Derp Death Knight

Pros: How do you fail at a Death Knight?  (AND you can totally control the ghost pandas in the Shado-pan Monastery!)  I like being the equivalent of a death knight rogue, kinda.  I prowl around the edges of a quest area, pretending I’m not wearing plate.  Then, when the target mob has made the foolish mistake of separating from the others, DEATH GRIP.  After totally killing whatever it is, I then meld back into the shadows, sort of.  It’s more like using a goblin’s natural height to hide behind her surroundings.

Cons: Because she dumped Inscription/herbing a long time ago and only recently picked up mining and blacksmithing, girlfriend can’t mine in Pandaland yet.  Questing past all those cursed Ghost Iron nodes is driving me NUTS.  Otherwise, I have a completely unproven, unfounded suspicion that in Pandaland, the more armor you wear, the harder crap hits you – because it can.  Therefore, I do not look forward to Townlong Steppes or the Dread Wastes.

Ailabeth, the Level 88 Shadow Priest

Pros: Her Shadow routine is something like this:  1.) Summon a mindsquid and have it terrorize anything small and helpless in the vicinity, like critters.  2.) Realize critters don’t give EXP.  3.) Identify a better victim.  4.) Cast Power Word: Shield.  5.) Nuke its brains out while laughing because it totally can’t do any darn thing about it.  Additionally, smirk at any nearby Sha and insult nearby Mogu just because.  6.) Repeat as desired.  How is that not awesome?

Cons: When mobs hit me, it ruins my Levitate.  I actually have to RECAST it!  /whatsupwiththat

Centina, the level 87 Arcane Mage

Pros: Portal hotness.  Actually, have I told you how much I love Crittermorphing all the butterflies in Valley of the Four Winds?  FLYING BABY PANDAS YAY!

Cons: I am a wimpy lazy pansy mage.  You’ll probably find Centina cowering in a hole somewhere, whimpering about how all the things hurt.  Unfortunately for me, standing in one spot and nuking the face off things only works when you’re in dungeons, and the DPS queue is, of course, slow.  (As a side note, I recently learned that I can’t actually say “Slow as molasses in January” anymore, because molasses in January actually moves at 35 MPH and WILL KILL YOU.  The more you know!)

Alexalis, the level 86 Windwakerwalker Monk

Pros: Super survivor, Pandaland style.  Independent and able to quest on her own without cowering in a hole somewhere, whimpering about how all the things hurt. Wields hugeass swords.  Touch of Death.  Rolling.  See that mob way over there?  Flying Serpent Kick TO THE FACE.

Cons:  Alexalis’ only profession is Skinning, mostly to supplement Bombelina’s leatherworking.  You see, once upon a time, I planned on Bombelina hitting 85 long before I even got around to making a monk.  But as it’s turned out, monk is fun and I am a really incompetent rogue, which makes rogue-ing less fun.  (Also, spending a the whole PUG pickpocketing or skinning things is not socially acceptable, which sucks.)  End result: Bombelina is still in the mid 70s and just hit the cusp of Cata leatherworking.  She’ll actually have to level to get further at some point.  Oops.  So basically, WTF DO I DO WITH ALL THIS EXOTIC LEATHER  ALEXALIS IS SENDING OMG NO BANK SPACE.

At this point, I’m leaning towards Ailabeth or Alexalis, because I enjoy playing those classes in a manner that actually approaches the approved rotation.  (My favorite part of mage-ing – running around in circles while casting Arcane Explosion – doesn’t do so well for the DPS.)  Ailabeth has an advantage in that she’s already 88 and hearthed at the Shrine in the Vale.  But swords, guys.  They tempt me.