Tag Archives: bombelina (the rogue alt)

Prepatch Roundup

Electrika Goldwasher, Who Would Heal You With Lava

Electrika Goldwasher, Who Would Heal You With Lava

Electrika
Gearscore: 514 (elemental) / 507 (restoration)
Quote: “OGOD WTF THE DAMAGE, IT HURTS”

  • Became the main for two reasons: OMFG LAVA YES HAHAHA and a second spec that actually does something other than more DPS.  Did I mention lava?  I need to point out lava again.  You know, that whole versatility thing.
  • Electrika will NEVER have enough valor, EVER.
  • Has no Lesser Charms/Mogu Runes of Fate of this writing and probably won’t by the time the patch rolls around, either.  /pro
  • Electrika has the current tier’s 4 piece set bonus on her elemental outfit – the first such thing for me in my entire WoW career.  FOUR WHOLE PIECES ERMAGERD.
  • Needs to freaking finish jewelcrafting.  She’s currently in Cata stuff, but I just.  Can’t.  Seem.  To take the last step.
  • I’ve discovered something that hurts more than Durumu’s purple bullsheeyit, and that is heroic Jin’Rokh’s dance party of death, featuring lightning orbs that … well, really hurt.
  • While the guild will be starting progression as soon as the Siege of Orgrimmar opens, it remains to be seen if Electrika will be present (being backup and all).
  • Will be the first of my characters to faceplant into the new content.
Thermalix Spendtrue, Professional Facepuller

Thermalix Spendtrue, Professional Facepuller

Thermalix
Gearscore: 506 (for all the specs because all she does is shoot things)
Quote: “How many colors does that come in?”

  • Hasn’t seen much action since she got a ToT LFR gun (her life’s goal is now complete) and Electrika became the main (Sorry Therm, bandaging people doesn’t count as healing), therefore she needs to relearn the finer points of Survival and Beast Mastery
  • Wants to tame the red version of Portent, as she has the purple, blue and green ones.
  • Needs to fill up her shiny new stable slots.
  • Wants to start a campaign for having a hunter-tamable murderaffe in game, as well as a petition of some sort for making a sha-snail the next big raid boss.
  • At some point, should begin and progress in the Brawler’s Guild.
Mechalis, Fast as a Rock With No Momentum!

Mechalis, Fast as a Rock With No Momentum!

Mechalis
Gearscore: 476
Quote: “WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

  • So Mechalis, being a Death Knight, has become my only Horde platewearer and thus has been given all the non class-specific plate transmogs originally planned for the deleted paladin.  Accordingly, she’s been running Black Temple with two monks, which has been surprisingly painful.  It’s not the damage that’s the problem.  It’s just that monks can move like they’re on a sugar high, and Mech can’t.  She spends all her time running after them, following the trail of dead bodies they leave behind!  Still, she can’t object to her primary role being looter-in-chief.
  • Wants to go to ICC for transmog gear, like just about every DK ever.  Can’t survive on her own, however, despite the reputation Death Knights have for being practically immortal.
Esplodine, Beauty Queen Most enchanting, least competent enchanter ever.

Esplodine, Beauty Queen
Most enchanting, least competent enchanter ever.

Esplodine
Gearscore: 471
Quote: “Seriously, who needs 4k for flying now!?  This is ridiculous.  You need HOW MUCH for that enchant!?  Gawd, I need to get that recipe some day.”

  • Somehow, the poor girl became the AH mastermind for my Hordeside characters.  Esplodine has a tendency to viciously undercut anyone on anything, because she gets sent ALL the things my other characters pick up, and she just wants to get rid of it all.  Right now.  Also, your high price on those ugly low level gloves is stupid.
  • Needs to sell those Darkspear tokens … now’s the time!  Also the last chance.
  • Needs to run LFR for enchanting mats.
  • Must befriend the Shado-pan and August Celestials for enchanting/tailoring recipe crap.  Or was that rep requirement getting removed?  Can’t remember.  Got the spellthread from the Golden Lotus, so all is well on that front at least.
Ignitine the Ebil Will Nuke All the Things

Ignitine the Ebil Will Nuke All the Things

Ignitine
Gearscore: N/A
Quote: “You made the shaman after me, so why am I still in Northrend?”

  • Needs to get to 80+ for transmog purposes.
  • Will not be choosing the Grimoire of Supremacy at 75 after all, because I find the sounds the Observer makes highly annoying.
Bombelina Likes Things Including fancy shoulders, lockboxes and not taking damage.

Bombelina Likes Things Including fancy shoulders, lockboxes and not taking damage.

Bombelina
Gearscore: N/A
Quote: “I’m working on it!”

  • Needs to freaking level or something, as it seems like she’s been 80 forever.  All the Ghost Iron lockboxes get sent to Mech, since she can craft keys and Bombelina’s too low to open them.  A maxed leatherworker would be nice, too.
  • Too embarrassed to use LFD with Bombelina.  My DPS is THAT BAD.
Alexalis Wishes Fist Weapons Would Drop in Pairs

Alexalis Wishes Fist Weapons Would Drop in Pairs

Alexalis
Gearscore: 463
Quote: “Wow, did I just see what I think I just saw?”

  • Alexa has to run LFR for gear.  Most important would be another fist weapon/one hander, because she currently has two hands but only one LFR weapon.  Problem!
  • Needs to get the belt for her mog set.  Seriously, it’s the last dang piece.
Ailabeth Blisswell.  Mind Control coming soon to a brain near you.

Ailabeth Blisswell. Mind Control coming soon to a brain near you.

Ailabeth
Gearscore: 444 (that’s a palindrome!)
Quote: “I can only do the Living Steel transmute for one of you two …”

  • Can be found hanging around mailboxes in the Shrine, making flasks for Electrika from herbs that Electrika provided.  Sometimes does Living Steel/Trillium transmutes for Thermalix or others.
  • Needs to get the dagger for her mog set.  Seriously, it’s the last dang piece.
  • Maybe get to 460 gearscore.
Betheki says, "Resto is easy!  Until you screw it up!"

Betheki says, “Resto is easy! Until you screw it up!”

Betheki
Gearscore: N/A
Quote: “NO! DON’T PULL ALL THE VRYKU…. sigh.  Yes yes, I know, I suck as a healer.”

  • Betheki is currently at that awkward stage where LFD dumps you in Utgarde Keep an awful lot, as well as that slightly painful stage where you feel all competent to start with, but then you realize that you’re using the entirely wrong spells because OMFG SHAMAN HABITS CRAP WE’RE DEAD.
  • Wishes tanks wouldn’t pull all the vrykul in the first little hallway of the Keep so she can take a moment to remember what to do other than “Cast Rejuvenation.”  But they never do, so she uses the wrong spell too slowly anyway, and everybody dies.
  • Thinking about switching her alt spec back to boomkin.  If shaman got better around the 70s, maybe boomkin will too?  I can’t do feral (too much like rogue), so it may be her only choice for her DPS alt spec.
Niremere Lane of the Noodlearms

Niremere Lane of the Noodlearms

Niremere
Gearscore: 482
Quote: “My repair bill is more than the gold I got from that …”

  • I hit like a puffball and take more damage than a tissue in the hands of someone with a sinus infection.  On the plus side, her noodle arms are now hitting for like, 50k!  Yay!
  • Got to the 480s at the request of Ty, who wanted to run heroic scenarios Alliance-side.
  • SOME DAY, THAT PLATE CHEST FROM SSC WILL DROP, I SWEAR.
  • Keeping up with content tied reps (like Operation: Shieldwall) has become increasingly difficult for Niremere, because I ran out of time I rely heavily on decent gear to help me compensate for how I can’t ret.  The problem with this strategy: as Nir has gotten farther behind on both rep/LFR and content, she has also gotten behind on gearing to the point where continuing in current stuff kinda sucks.  She still hasn’t finished the solo instances that open up the different parts of the Isle of Thunder (though I haven’t started those again since hitting 480).
Daschela Tel, in a mog she does not yet have

Daschela Tel, in a mog she does not yet have

Daschela
Gearscore: N/A
Quote: “Look, just because I have heirlooms doesn’t make me rich.  My money-making 90s are of the OPPOSITE FACTION.”  (Ok, so she said it a little less politely.)

  • I want to get Daschela to 90 so she can take over content/progression-tied reps for Nire, and also because I enjoy ranged more than melee.  Enjoyment is necessary when going through LFR!  (There ARE times when you just gotta smash crap in the face with a sword.  Still, I generally prefer being far, far away from potential ouch over mauling something up close and personal.  Preserving the sanctity of my hide is priority #1!)
  • I got several (some faction-specific) transmog plans in mind that look great on Draenei, though not so much on goblins, due to the way proportions of items change.  Must.  Complete.  Mog.  Sets.

Have you ever wondered what happens when ModelViewer screws up and you see all the possible hairdos and all the possible facial features, all at once?  No? Well, I’m here to give you nightmares, because it looks like this:

...uh, wow, can't unsee

…uh, wow, can’t unsee

[Edit: oops, hit publish before I added all the images.  WORK IN PROGRESS HERE, people.]

“Savage Scout” Set, or, “How I Fail At Rogue-ing”

"Savage Scout" Set

“Savage Scout” Set

Class: Rogue, Monk, Druid (your weaponry may vary)

H: Scout’s Hood | S: Mantle of Darkness | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Vest of Welcome (Ebon Filigreed Doublet) | Wa: Taut Dragonhide Belt | L: Bogpaddle Leggings
G: Savage Handwraps | Wr: Not shown | B: Swabbie’s Booties

1h Axe: Silversnap Bottle Opener (because if that doesn’t look like a goblin weapon, I don’t know what does)
Dagger: Gutgore Ripper

Status: Finished

Thoughts: Breaking news!  This just in!  Bombelina dresses like an actual rogue, confuses the hell out of people, world explodes.  Details on the news at 10:00.

Poor Bombelina.

Ever since she landed in Outland, she had a deep suspicion that something was not quite right.  She never had quite enough energy to do all the things she wanted to, and it often felt like she was jabbing at mobs with a couple of sticks.  By the time she positioned herself correctly to stab something in the back, that something would already be dead or halfway across the room.  She liked her routines; getting in stealth was important and so was pickpocketing before the first strike (“Gotta get yer money’s worth,” she’d say).  But groups who ran from fight to fight left little time for that sort of stuff, leaving her feeling out of sorts.

Then there came The Day, as she calls it, when she had The Realization.  She was in a Violet Citadel LFD party, and for the first time ever, people started quoting Recount numbers at her.  She had always assumed that DPS numbers didn’t REALLY matter as long as you were seen fighting things and said things went down before party members did.  But it seemed she had passed some sort of threshold where Obviously Doing Stuff no longer sufficed to cover for her poor fighting skills.  She was no longer ignored.  No, it was fight, then Recount.  Fight, then Recount.  Fight, then Recount and a Polite Exchange of Words because OMFG really guys, you gonna keep on Recounting at me after EVERY FIGHT?

It was then that Bombelina saw just how awful a Combat rogue she actually was.  All she was good for was opening boxes and pickpocketing gnome effigies.  And if she was honest about it, that’s all she really wanted to do, anyway.

Still, it was depressing.  She’d always managed to cover for her not-quite anywhere near up-to-snuff DPS by being chatty and pleasant, but now it seemed nothing could compensate for her wimpy chicken arms.   Bombelina started letting herself go, so soon her gloves didn’t match.  Then her boots didn’t match either.  Eventually, her belt clashed, and Bombelina prayed to Gawd that no one saw her cloak and helm before she managed to hide those.  She put on a tabard to cover as much of the sartorial disaster as she could, but somehow, it did nothing but make those boots uglier than they already were.  She stopped going out in groups unless she knew the tank or the healer, fearful that without an Important Defender, she would almost certainly face snark she did not want to deal with.

In short, she became a goblin hermit of sorts.  She never left the Slums, and was usually seen hanging out by the mailbox, waiting for someone – anyone! – to send her another lockbox.  Lockboxes don’t quote Recount at you, and they always have TREASURES.

It was clearly time for an intervention.

A friend drew her out to Northrend with the promise of killing All The Things so she could skin them for leatherworking mats.  Leatherworking had gotten depressing too, you see.  Not wanting to say no to such a nice offer, Bombelina went out questing with him.  They murdered all the things with skins in Grizzly Hills (though you cannot skin all the things with skins) and leveled a bit.  Afterwards, she started to leave the Slums more often.  It was hard to go outdoors looking like such a hot mess, though, so it wasn’t long before she decided that another transmog was in order.

Here, we have the results.  Her DPS is still godawful, but at least she can /dance with pride.

“Sunny Side Up” Set

"Sunny Side Up" Set

“Sunny Side Up” Set

Class: Rogue, Monk, Druid

H: Expedition Hood | S: Mok’Nathal Champion’s Shoulderguards | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Wild Draenish Vest | Wa: Mighty Girdle | L: Guardian Pants
G: Guardian Gloves |Wr: Not shown | B: Bogwalker Boots

1h Sword: Whistling Sword (x2)

Status: Finished

Thoughts: This time around, the competition’s theme is “Spring,” more in the sense of “lots of horse races with crazy fashion and champagne yaaaay” than in the season itself.  This contest was more baffling to me than trying to turn a goblin into a druid.  At first I went “the bigger the better” route when it came to hat brims and totally went with cloth (the Vicious Fireweave hat is enormous, amirite?), but I couldn’t cook up a set that I actually liked.  I tried smaller hats.  I looked at turbans.  I gave mail a shot.  I pulled the chest pieces that I have never matched with anything out of Void Storage, hoping for some inspiration, but nothing struck me.

Finally, I changed my approach.  I said, “I should aim for ‘obnoxious.’  How can I, Prinnie, fail to come up with something obnoxious?  I can’t!”

Thus, Bombelina got a second chance to represent the goblins because she wanted to wear something crazy – for a rogue, that is.  You see, while wearing all black gives rogues a +5 to sneakiness, she was tired of that.  EVERYBODY wears black, and that’s boring!  Bombelina wanted a happy, perky rogue-inating outfit that better represented her overall personality.

I didn’t want her to wear white mostly because I have a sneaking suspicion that as a color, white is designed to attract trouble, tomato sauce and any beverage that isn’t water.  As a rogue whose main purpose in life is to open up boxes (while looking ADORBS!), Bombelina doesn’t need any more trouble than she can handle – which isn’t much trouble to begin with.  So what color do I go with?  YELLOW.  Yellow isn’t just happy.  Yellow is HAPPY.

I apparently won by virtue of there being zero competition!  As a goblin at heart, I’m totally cool with easy victories – and there was no bribery, blackmail or explosives involved!  Yay!

Awkward: Faux Pas Edition

From what I hear, the latest blogging topic is faux pas, those events/actions/etc. that are otherwise known as moments of glory in a most ironic way.  This sort of thing is my life.

Faux Pas #1: Staying Together is for Wimps

Well, That's Awkward

Well, That’s Awkward
Jaina, Healer, Tank and THE LICH KING OMG on one side.
All three DPS? On the other.

Faux Pas #2: THE MORE YOU SHOUT IT THE MORE EFFECTIVE IT IS

Strand of the Ancients Strategy

Awkward Strand of the Ancients Strategy is Awkward

Faux Pas #3: Assuming the Other Person Can Handle It

Alone on the Farm

Alone on the Farm
Yes, leave the inexperienced mage by herself.

Faux Pas #4: Don’t Think of the Children

The Story of Mazz

The Story of Mazz
I expected her kids to magically despawn or something.
WRONG! They ran around guilt tripping me.

Faux Pas #5: Situational Awareness is Key

Um, Ow

Um, Ow
I’m not sure the orc saw THAT coming.

Faux Pas #6: Talking to Strangers About Your Family

We Literally DIAF

We Literally DIAF
Sometimes, it’s better not to know.

Faux Pas #7: It’s on Cooldown, But We Won’t Need it Anyway

Cooldown LOLZ

Cooldown LOLZ
It’s all about the timing.

Faux Pas #8: Unintentionally Close Encounters

The Problem With Pandas

The Problem With Pandas
Thank Gawd I’m Dead

“Goblin Prospector” Set

"Goblin Prospector" Set

“Goblin Prospector” Set

“Goblin Prospector” Set

Class: Can be donned by any leather wearer, but really only works for a Rogue

H: Clever Hat | S: Rageclaw Shoulderpads | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Bard’s Tunic | Wa: Belt of Appeasement | L: Scouting Trousers
G: Fuzzy Gloves |Wr: Scaled Leather Bracers | B: Bard’s Boots

1h Mace: Shovel of Mercy (x2)

Status: Finished

Thoughts: The latest transmog contest I’ve jumped into has a “Mother Nature” theme, which is very evocative of all the druids I’ve never successfully leveled and the shaman that I totally deleted in a fit of patch-induced rage.  I like the challenge of these contests all right, but what the heck can I do with this concept?

I was stumped for a while, but in a blast of irony, I abruptly realized that goblins love nature.  Though I hear you guffawing now, I can assure you that they really do!  After all, nature is merely untapped profit potential.  To prove my case, let me introduce the Goblin Prospector, as portrayed by Bombelina (who is a rogue, fittingly enough).  She’s out and about in the wilds of Stranglethorn, seeing gold gold gold in all things great and small.  (Always remember, there’s pretty much a market for everything: what an orc won’t buy, an ogre surely will.)

Those trees?  Profitable, in so many ways.  There’s surf boards, toothpicks, forts, 2x4s for hitting people with, and more!  That dirt? Profitable, baby.  Rich in nutrients and crap.  Gardeners love that stuff.

What about the Venture Company, you say, since they’re already there?  While they may have established themselves in Stranglethorn first, the situation is still profitable.  Combine lax security with multiple opportunities for highway robbery and other business schemes?  Heck yes!  Steal all their stuff and sell it!  Or kill them all and use their facility to start a new company (“Bombelina Pyroelastisplosirene Company,” maybe) without any of the associated startup costs!  Wait, you’d still need somebody to run the place.  Never mind on that last bit.

p.s., I totally recruited a druid (a.k.a. the ever-suffering Tab) to cry in the background of the full picture, seen at the contest location.  BRB FAILING HARDCORE

Vicious Streak

I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK

I’m a Lumberjack and I’m OK
I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.

Inspired by the dread Rabbit of Carnage Caerbannog Darkmoon, Bombelina couldn’t resist tossing in a Monty Python reference while dungeoning.  She went to visit said creature in the flesh, but when somebody told Bombelina that the adorable bunny could totally chew your head off at any moment whether you provoked it or not, she high tailed it out of there (/punny).  I did get a nice shot of the literal carpet of corpses on Wyrmrest Accord, though.

Total, Utter Carnage

Total, Utter Carnage
The Day the Darkmoon Rabbit Came

Language Barrier

Language Barrier
Where’s a copy of Rosetta Stone when you need one?

The only way the mob knew how to say “hi” was to punch Bombelina in the face.  While she and the ents Ancients of Dire Maul were never able to understand each other except through blows, it appears that the patch has made it possible for party members to understand languages they formerly couldn’t.  Witness Velocitrixie’s (formerly known as Thingie) new understanding:

Language Barrier - Resolved

Language Barrier – Resolved
Apparently, your party can understand your foreign language now.

I just realized that I seem to have a thing for saying “Uhhhh” when flat out stunned.  Gosh, that makes me sound smart.  I need to come up with something better to say when I reflexively type in response to an unexpected event.

New Scholomance

New Scholomance
Pop Quiz! Subject: YOUR DEATH.

While I’ve gone through the old version of Scholomance more times than I can count, I had never before been teleported away by Darkmaster Gandling (I’m lucky? Maybe I’m completely ignorable?), so I was pretty startled to find myself nowhere near the boss I had been trying to stab.  Hence the “You are too far away!” thing, as I kept on hitting buttons for a second or two before I realized that I had a problem.

Fortunately for Bombelina, the group was graded on their combined efforts and not on individual performance.

Awkward

Awkward
I can’t reach the reins! HOW DO I STEER THIS THING!?

Did you know that you can be polymorphed/hexed while mounted?  I didn’t, until suddenly I was a frog sitting atop a very, very confused Ravasaur.

I'm on a Diet

I’m on a Diet
Or so I like to tell myself anyway.
Where should we start?

That’s a lot of pork.

Post-patch acclimatization process initializing.

So I’m slowly spending some time reacquainting myself with the different classes.

Summary for the tl;dr folks:

  1. Thingie lives on, long live Charge
  2. Majig got deleted because of bad totem feelings
  3. Arcane mage/protection paladink feel the same to me as they did before
  4. I need Shadowstep back, but level 60 seems so far away
  5. OMGWTF I HATE HATE HATE abilities that are under 15 seconds especially if you have to keep them up
  6. “Choice” is crap, there’s still a set of talents that “should” be chosen
  7. Where’s the Shadow talent choice at level 90 add one soon plzkthx
  8. Screw the standard Shadow talent build, I want my Shadowsquid

The Good Parts:

Caliverne nearly had a heart attack when I told him I was considering deleting a fellow warrior, but thanks to the patch, Thingie survived The Purging of the Alts.  Warriors got Titan’s Grip at a super low level and now rage regeneration feels easier (once I was reminded that I should probably use a Stance and all).  I also remembered that I really like Charge-ing into things, even though I do sometimes get a little Charge happy and Charge into the wrong mobs across the room.

Centina’s now up to 70.  Prior to the patch, people kept on complaining that now Arcane mages will have to hit a grand total of three buttons OMFG.  Maybe I’ve been a screwup as a mage, as I was always hitting three buttons or more.  In any case, it mostly seems the same as before, except I can’t tell what the hell causes Arcane Missiles to pop (sometimes I can just keep on smashing Arcane Blast forever la la la), and sometimes I get two shots of Arcane Missiles for no apparent reason.  This, however, is not something I feel mad about.  FIRE ZE MISSILES!*

Niremere has no idea how lowbie protection tanking is different now.  For her, it’s exactly like it was before.  Run in, smash things in face with a shield, smash more things and Judgementize them, yell at the huntard/priest/mage who insists on shooting the next mob before you pull the mob yourself, rinse, repeat.  Also, how many bad euphemisms/puns was Blizzard knowingly making when they created that glyph where you get a buff if you mount up?

The Iffy Part:
I’ve been leveling Bombelina because OMFG BOXES HELP ME BOXES EVERYWHERE I couldn’t unlock the boxes I was picking up, and that was the whole damn point of this rogue business.  My favorite thing ever, Shadowstep, is now a talent that I can’t get back until level 60.  I liked that skill an awful lot because I suck at positioning (hence why I often like ranged damage, because my position is simply “far away from the thing that hurts”).  On the other hand, because I have played her more recently, I seem to be getting less sucky at rogue-ing in general.  I just spend the whole pug pickpocketing anyway.

The Bad Parts:
Why the mother trucking @#$% bleeping bleepity bleep bleep bleep are there now so damned many bleeping @#%# skills under thirty seconds, some of which you’re supposed to “keep up at all times”?  If it isn’t obvious by now, I hate it when things that are Generally Useful and/or Need to Be Kept Up are also really stupid short.  Short is okay when it’s a “Save My Ass” skill or talent, but if it’s something you’re using all the damn time?  Annoying as @^#$.

Take shamans, for example.  Once upon a time, shaman totems lasted a grand total of thirty seconds to however many minutes.  It was possible to glyph them so they lasted longer, and you damn well better believe that I did.  My only issue was that although you got four “sets” that you could set up and summon, you couldn’t label those sets, which in turn made it somewhat difficult to remember which same-looking icon was which bunch of totems.

Blizzard decided to solve this totem complexity issue by making totems into mostly non-buffs that last fifteen seconds or so.  They have specific situational uses, that is, pray to God your situation lasts fifteen seconds or less (or that you’re not fighting in the same spot for more than fifteen seconds).  Fightin’!  Lemme throw down this totem.  Fightin’!  Oh wait.  Gotta do it again.  Fightin’!  Wait.  Totem time!  I’d rather just not use totems at that rate, but the reason I made a goblin shaman in the first place was because I really liked the way goblin totems looked.  Also, /sadface in that you only toss down one totem or two, because I liked having all the awesome looking totems around me.  Yeah, I deleted Majig.

I’m also feeling pissy about similar timing changes made to shadow priest skills.  For example:

Shadow Word: Pain lasts 18 seconds.
Vampiric Touch lasts 15 seconds.
Devouring Plague lasts 6 seconds.

You’re supposed to keep Pain and Vampiric Touch up all the time.  (In addition, Mind Flay no longer resets Shadow Word: Pain.)  #$% my life.

The new setup to “provide players with the flexibility to choose certain talents without backlash” is a bunch of pretentious game designer bullsheeyit; it sounds nice when you say it and nice when you plan it, but it isn’t actually true in practice.  DPS bean counters and number aficionados have, of course, already figured out The New Standard, and there is, of course, only one New Standard (unlike the one and a half there was before when there were ninety million talents).  Are you really free to choose any talent?  Yeah, right, since you need to choose certain ones for your DPS – your reason for existing.  (Also, why is there no Shadow variant for the level 90 tier?  FAIL!)

You know what Ailabeth says?  Eff it.  Eff it all.  She is keeping her Mindbender Shadowsquid.  It’s not like I was ever top DPS in the first place or even anywhere close.  I’ll take my “Passive Aggressive Mana Management” scheme and just make it a “Passive Aggressive Low Damage Justification Because I Want My Shadowsquid Dammit” scheme.

*(But I am le tired!)

Character Futures and Stuff

I wanted full body shots in different poses for the character profile pages I have up, so made new images.  I wound up not using shoulders for most, because my ModelViewer sometimes does strange things – and at the time I was fiddling with these, shoulders were showing up Tauren-sized on everybody.  I didn’t think it looked too bad on Thermalix, given the pose I went with, but for everybody else?  It just looked dumb.

I’m also taking a moment to sit down and make a kinda sorta plan for what I intend to do with the dramatis personae come Pandaland.

Mechalis

Mechalis

Quote: “Wanna purchase a Rocket Camel?  It’s totally legal on all four continents although some faction exceptions may apply!”

Will She Survive Pandas: Yes.  She doesn’t care about pandas, unlesssss she can put a rocket or two on them and see how aerodynamically they behave when launched.  Don’t worry, she’ll make sure there’s a trampoline they can land on.  What?  It’s perfectly safe.

Future Plans: As my primary melee DPS, Mech will likely be among the first of my gals to make it to 90, for those times when things need to be smashed.  I am certain that there will be smashing times ahead.

Thermalix Spendtrue

Thermalix

Quote: “I soooo did not mean to shoot that.”

Will She Survive Pandas:  Hell yes, ain’t no panda nowhere gonna take her down no way no how!  Also, ENORMOUS ROCKET MOUNT MUST HAVE.

Future: Thermalix is the only one who has clear goals for the expansion.  She will probably be the first to make it to 90, as my inner hunter pet collector will kick in (again) and I will need to tame a Purple Armored Stone Quilen, and a White Porcupine, and a Goat of some color, and a Green Fen Strider (or maybe a white one!), and a Black Crane, and a Raven, and a Ghost Saber Worg, and and and!  Yay!

There are only two depressing things for Thermalix in this: you can’t tame color changers any more (thank God she got her color changing scarab already), and she really, really wishes they’d increase the stable space to allow for more pets.  Thermalix is going to have to let some of her darlings go, and that’s always a tough call.

Centina Dollarbender

Centina

Quote: “The sky is falling!  The sky is falling!”

Will She Survive Pandas: Yes, providing no panda hits her.  If one does, she’s probably going to get one-shotted.

Future: She will inch towards the new level limit (providing she ever reaches the old one), forced to do so by her fondness for leveling tailoring in order to get rid of all the fabric scraps she hoards.  When her bank is full, it’s time to level tailoring.  When she can’t level tailoring, it’s time to level herself.  While dungeoning, she’ll pick up more fabric.  It is an endless cycle.

Bombelina Sparklefuse

Bombelina

Quote: “I’ll just spend this whole pug pickpocketing.  I’m sure you don’t mind.”

Will She Survive Pandas: Yes.  I want my own lockbox opener, dammit.  Also, she only has one transmog outfit to her name, and that’s just friggin’ sad.

Future: She will be forced to level so that she can open up the high level lockboxes the others keep sending to her.  They’re really starting to stack up!  As my only leather wearer, she’s also going to have to level so she can represent.

Thingie Goldwasher

Thingie

Quote: “No tanks!  No tank you.”

Will She Survive Pandas: Maybe.

Future: I’ve been debating deleting Thingie, and I’ve been debating making her a monk once Mists comes.  So far, her saving grace against both these fates has been her current ability to dual wield Shovels of Mercy.  If the human and the orc in that video had Shovels of Mercy, that panda would’ve had a far tougher time.  There will be no tanking for Thingie, so I foresee a lifetime of long queues, which is kind of depressing.

Majig Goldwasher

Majig

Quote: “I’m having an issue with some yetis.  Can I call you back?”

Will She Survive Pandas: I don’t know.  In fact, I don’t know what happened with playing a shaman.  It was fun, once, but now I just don’t know what I’m doing.

Future: Majig’s future is as tenuous as her sister Thingie’s.  Maybe I’ll play her for a little while with this new talent system and see how I feel about the shaman class, but as of late it’s been mostly indifference.

Ailabeth Blisswell

Ailabeth

Quote: “There are some ghosts who can never go home.”

Will She Survive Pandas: The question really ought to be, “Will pandas survive meeting Ailabeth?”

Future: Ailabeth will probably be the second to make it to 90, as I enjoy Levitate, Leap of Faith and Shadowform far too much.  Her goal is, more or less, to kill the sheeyit out of things and take their stuff and gold for transmog purposes.

Niremere Lane

Niremere

Quote: “I can only go forward from here.”

Will She Survive Pandas: Yes, although she’s a very long way from ever getting to Pandaland itself.

Future: SAVING THE WORLD.  Handing a huge catfish to King Chin (or possibly slapping him with it.  Is she in a protadin or a retadin mood?).  Daydreaming about marrying him, and using the combined power of the Church and Stormwind’s military to reclaim/make useful again Elwynn and Westfall.  Would insist on being generous with former Defias who agree to take an oath of loyalty and would put pretty much every person ever to work repairing or replacing infrastructure in Westfall because Being Nice and Doing Good Works is all for the Light.  Retaking Stromgarde Keep, because seriously, guys, after Lich King + Deathwing + Serious High Level Stuff, you’re really letting some lowbie rogues and ogres sit there and hold it?  The Horde will take it if you don’t do something!  Nir wants to do something!

Addendum: Images That Do Not Relate To Each Other

The Horde vs. The Alliance

The Horde vs. The Alliance
I guess I’ll have to get Niremere to 80 to find out.

Despite having done Vashj’ir two times before, this just now occurred to me.  I will have to investigate further.  “By the Chin!” would also be an acceptable Alliance exclamation when being swarmed by Naga.  I also finally realized just what bugs me about Varian Wrynn’s model – they gave the poor guy jowls.

Leveling is Hard

Leveling is Hard
If you do it through the Dungeon Finder …

Thank you for tanking all the darn time, Tab.  You’ve got the instaqueue magic, and you don’t get mad at me when I get a little trigger happy and Mind Flay that mob across the room that you totally haven’t pulled yet.  You pull the monsters off me when I use Mind Sear a little too soon.  You also don’t abandon me to crappy Dungeon Finder parties!  You stand by me even when I queue for ninety million dungeons in a row.

Sometimes I Get Carried Away

Sometimes I Get Carried Away
ARCANE BLAST WOO

When using Arcane Blast, I insist upon running in circles around the enemy.  It just improves the entire experience!

Thanks, but No Thanks

Thanks, but No Thanks
Isn’t level 4 a little early for this?

Surprisingly, I found myself unwilling to go through the goblin starting zone yet again, so I made Mechbeth the Warlock into a blood elf.  I zoned in and this lowbie paladink zoned in on me, saying, “Follow me.”  I certainly don’t follow strange men without reason, so I had to ask why.  I don’t know if Mechbeth will last long in this form, considering that my last blood elf attempts made it to levels 28, 15 and 11 respectively.  As long as I don’t /silly, /laugh (or type “haha” or “lol” without thinking), or /sob, it might be bearable for a little longer than that … maybe.  I mean, seriously, honey, you went to Undercity for a facial?  /stab /stab /stab

You're Heightist

You’re Heightist
Short people power!!

We’re spatially efficient.  We’re compatible with gravity.  We’re also very necessary, for without the short people and the tall people (Tauren), blood elves would be unable to recognize their own perfection for lack of comparison.

You're Lootist

You’re Lootist
Gawd, your standards are so lootist.

I know that there is no point to making a point on the Internet (or in an MMORPG).  And yet I still can’t shut up!  I’m such a lootist.

If the Goblins Were NPCs

So there’s this Blog Azeroth Thing, where Cymre asks what NPC your character would be.

Mechalis as an NPC

YOU! YES, YOU!
You need a rocket camel!

Mechalis would be a Rocket Camel Vendor.  She would fly to different major cities (perhaps one city per week), exploding on the scene and causing mayhem and uproar and attracting lots of publicity, and hopefully making a nice tidy profit once the smoke clears.  She’d have to take one week off every now and then to replenish her supplies, but for the most part, she’d be devoted to sharing Rocket Camels with the world.

Thermalix as an NPC

I’ve looked at the map
I still can’t get out of here

Thermalix would be a secret Quest Giver whom players would normally find lost in a corner somewhere in Dalaran.  If you talk to her often enough, you’ll get a quest where you can offer to escort her safely to the Auction House.  On the way, you will be assaulted by visions of nightmarishly expensive armor and Minigob Manabonk.  If you defeat them all and succeed in showing her the way, you’ll receive some of the engineering crap she’s stored in her bank.  If you’re lucky, you might even get an Explosive Sheep!

Centina as an NPC

I wouldn’t go outdoors in that
But whatever, it’s your dignity

Centina would be a Transmog Specialist.  She’d stand next to the transmog guy in Orgrimmar and critique your outfit loudly and in public.  By critique, she means “inform you that your wardrobe choices need work, and your sense of color is totally … interesting,” and if asked, she’d recommend pieces for you.  This means no one will ever talk to her.

Bombelina as an NPC

If you want me to be there
I’m gonna make you wait

Bombelina would be an optional, rare spawn that shows up occasionally in some dungeon you run way too often to care about.  She would drop a prototype of her latest leather jacket design, made for those moments when you accidentally jump off your flying mount.  They explode upon impact, thereby negating the crushing force of the landing!

Thingie as an NPC

1,000 pelts? I meant 10,000
I like to see you suffer

Thingie would be a daily Quest Giver related to your profession.  She would first ask you to produce 5 of something, which seems reasonable.  The next time you do the quest, she’d ask for 50.  After that, she’ll ask for 500 of the same item.  She would continue this until you are so horribly bored you think the skill up/bag of shiny things isn’t worth it anymore, so you abandon the questline and quit.  Months later, you’ll read a post on a site somewhere, saying that if you manage to survive all her requests, you get an epically shiny, super-duper rare mount.  But she won’t let you continue once you’ve abandoned the quests!

Majig, who hasn’t shown up in the blog in her own right yet, would be that Quest Giver who keeps on walking away from you while you’re trying to read the text, causing the box to close.  It isn’t a glamorous job, but somebody’s gotta do it.