Tag Archives: dire maul

My Rules for Lowbie LFD Tanking

NO TAMPERING WITH THE MAILNOTHING you can open in Strath contains something good. NOTHING.

NO TAMPERING WITH THE MAIL
NOTHING you can open in Strath contains something good. NOTHING.

RULE NUMBER ONE: KEEP ONE AOE SKILL HANDY AT ALL TIMES
Because if it’s there to be pulled, somebody’s probably going to pull it, intentionally or otherwise.  Whatever it is will almost certainly come with friends.

RULE NUMBER TWO: HE CAN’T HELP IT …
If you have a feral druid DPS in the party, he or she is most likely experiencing an identity crisis and will be shapeshifting for most of the dungeon.  As long as he isn’t actually trying to tank while in bear, he’s harmless.

When you see him switch between tree and cat forms in the middle of the fight, be glad all you do is tank crap, and that’s pretty straight forward at this stage of the game since you are a paladerp and all you do is faceroll in your unsurpassable natural (and only) form.  And just disregard the fact that really, only one of the druid forms is useful for his current spec/role.  Dude’s just confused.

RULE NUMBER THREE: … BUT THEY CAN
Huntards and other ranged classes (but mostly huntards, since they’re not AS squishy as mages) like to shoot sheeyit before you get to it.  Save them if you want to, but a little damage would probably do ’em good.  Just sayin’.

Maybe ...Except the druid wiped too, which makes me think that either 1.) he didn't plan his revenge well, or 2.) he didn't intend to have us die at all.

Maybe …
Except the druid wiped too, which makes me think that either 1.) he didn’t plan his revenge well, or 2.) he didn’t intend to have us die at all.

RULE NUMBER FOUR: MAKE SURE THE HEALER’S GOT YOUR BACK
Because sometimes, the huntard’s got to die.  Also, a good healer who doesn’t panic can save your ass when everything goes to hell – a.k.a., the room in Scholomance with Professor Slate.  Said healer can also save your ass when the chronically confused catbeartreemanbird gets distracted with all the shapeshifting and pulls crap on accident.

Take It Or Leave It'cause I'm stayin'.

Take It Or Leave It
’cause I’m stayin’.

RULE NUMBER FIVE: STAND YOUR GROUND
If you don’t want to run the dungeon like someone who’s hopped up on six venti expresso machiatto chai latte whatevers, then don’t.  You are the tank.  They can take it or leave it.  (As a side note, I’m at full mana because I’m a level 40-something with a mana pool about thiiiiiis big, so I regen what I use in a second – a.k.a., about the time I finish sassing you for pulling half the stuff in Janice Barov’s room.  Being right on the internet is OBVIOUSLY more important than your schedule.)

After all, if you won’t take the damage and the healer won’t heal it, they’re not likely to get very far.  And if they do, then hey – it’s EXP you didn’t have to work for!

RULE NUMBER SIX: IF YOU WANT TO KICK THEM, WELL, YOU PROBABLY CAN’T
If the annoyance they cause is not worth the EXP, then leave.  You’ll get another party because LOLZTANKQUEUEISAMAZING.  If Deserter status occurs, well, you just saved some brain cells and that’s good for you.

He Touched My HAIR!THAT'S IT.

He Touched My HAIR!
THAT’S IT.

RULE NUMBER SEVEN: ACT LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING
Almost nobody knows where to go in Dire Maul, anyway.

RULE NUMBER EIGHT: JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN CLAIM IT WAS AN ACCIDENT DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD
Positioning Instructor Chillheart so that your DPS is at imminent risk of Ice Wall death is considered cruel, even if you do find it enjoyable.

Advertisements

Vicious Streak

I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK

I’m a Lumberjack and I’m OK
I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.

Inspired by the dread Rabbit of Carnage Caerbannog Darkmoon, Bombelina couldn’t resist tossing in a Monty Python reference while dungeoning.  She went to visit said creature in the flesh, but when somebody told Bombelina that the adorable bunny could totally chew your head off at any moment whether you provoked it or not, she high tailed it out of there (/punny).  I did get a nice shot of the literal carpet of corpses on Wyrmrest Accord, though.

Total, Utter Carnage

Total, Utter Carnage
The Day the Darkmoon Rabbit Came

Language Barrier

Language Barrier
Where’s a copy of Rosetta Stone when you need one?

The only way the mob knew how to say “hi” was to punch Bombelina in the face.  While she and the ents Ancients of Dire Maul were never able to understand each other except through blows, it appears that the patch has made it possible for party members to understand languages they formerly couldn’t.  Witness Velocitrixie’s (formerly known as Thingie) new understanding:

Language Barrier - Resolved

Language Barrier – Resolved
Apparently, your party can understand your foreign language now.

I just realized that I seem to have a thing for saying “Uhhhh” when flat out stunned.  Gosh, that makes me sound smart.  I need to come up with something better to say when I reflexively type in response to an unexpected event.

New Scholomance

New Scholomance
Pop Quiz! Subject: YOUR DEATH.

While I’ve gone through the old version of Scholomance more times than I can count, I had never before been teleported away by Darkmaster Gandling (I’m lucky? Maybe I’m completely ignorable?), so I was pretty startled to find myself nowhere near the boss I had been trying to stab.  Hence the “You are too far away!” thing, as I kept on hitting buttons for a second or two before I realized that I had a problem.

Fortunately for Bombelina, the group was graded on their combined efforts and not on individual performance.

Awkward

Awkward
I can’t reach the reins! HOW DO I STEER THIS THING!?

Did you know that you can be polymorphed/hexed while mounted?  I didn’t, until suddenly I was a frog sitting atop a very, very confused Ravasaur.

I'm on a Diet

I’m on a Diet
Or so I like to tell myself anyway.
Where should we start?

That’s a lot of pork.

Tanking While Tap Dancing

My past relationship with tanking comes in the form of Thingie, who got to level 40 by this approach.  As a warrior tank with a slight inferiority complex due to her height and DPS, her technique was something like “/ROAR and /PANIC and USE ALL THE SKILLS!  OMFG!”  This worked, for the most part, but it did get somewhat stressful.  Somewhere around level 40 or so, she ran screaming and that was that.

Cue Niremere, who got to level 40 as Retribution.  She then had a party where a dwarf tank (named something like Thedwarf, I kid you not) went Ret in the middle of the dungeon, so she figured, she could go Prot, right?  RIGHT.

Niremere Tanks So You Don't Have To

Niremere Tanks So You Don’t Have To
Holy Crap Instaqueue

I actually kind of … like tanking.  What’s wrong with me?  This is a position of responsibility!  You actually have to do crap!  But Niremere feels dramatic and of consequence, running forward, slinging some shield and holy power, all the while smashing all the things.  Plus, OMFG INSTAQUEUE.  I don’t know what’s up, but every time she turns on Dungeon Finder, she’s got a party within a minute.  You can’t beat that.

This is not to say that everything ends well, of course.

Niremere's Tanking Adventures

Niremere’s Tanking Adventures
Well, crap.

Or, even better:

Baby Got Trolled

Baby Got Trolled
In Dire Maul? WTF?

Yeah, I don’t know either.  While I think I actually like tanking, I still hate Dire Maul, so I may just quest my way past that and then tank some more.

Let’s review:

Niremere

  1. Through judicious use of the Light, my party shall live.
  2. If it looks as though my party will wipe, I will go down fighting.  (Probably first, but it’s the principle that counts, right?)
  3. I will keep the mobs from attacking the heirloomed, the poorly geared and the wounded, no matter the cost.
Thingie

  1. The only way my party lives is if everything else dies.
  2. If it looks like this party is going to bomb, screw this sheeyit.  I’m getting out of here!
  3. What do you mean, tanking isn’t some sort of protection racket?  Besides, it’s not MY fault if the huntard pulls crap before I do.

Both agree on one thing, though.  Did the party live?  GOOD.