Tag Archives: drinking in warcraft

I Don’t Know If I Can Do It

Also known as, “More Muttering About Models.”

The nice thing about playing mostly goblins is that my “mains” had no surprises in store for me.  I’ve been sitting on the fence about some other characters, however.  (I’ve also been browsing any and all “OMFG I HATE THE NEW MODELS” threads with avidity.  Look, somebody had problems worse than mine!)

Ailabeth
I loved Ailabeth’s old harlequin face.  To me, it was a smile fixed in place by rigor mortis, a mask resembling her old self that barely covered the motivations of her present unlife.

Ailabeth's New Model Hair apparently does grow in the grave, as does general annoyingness.

Ailabeth’s New Model
Hair apparently does grow in the grave, as does general annoyingness.

With the new model, the brows have been raised and the mouth has been made much narrower*, which gives the harlequin mask a rather pinched smirk.  It makes me want to punch the wearer every time I see it.

On the upside, her hair is fab.  I am ultimately unsure what to do with Ailabeth, but may leave her as Forsaken, since she doesn’t see a large amount of playtime these days.  For now, I’ve changed her face to something that makes me a little less irritated.

*Not that the mouth being made much wider helps, necessarily.  Exhibit A:

Forsaken Eek! Originally posted by Gentlebreeze on the forums.

Forsaken Derp Transformation!
Posted by Gentlebreeze on the forums.

Daschela and Yynsia
I just can’t with the eyes.  Why do they seem so big, when they didn’t before?  Why are they so goddamn turquoise, when they weren’t before?  Why are they so freakishly bright?

Dasch's New Model Nicely defined horns.  Freakishly flat eyes.

Dasch’s New Model
Nicely defined horns. Freakishly flat eyes.

Yynsia's New Model The new bright eyes seem even BRIGHTER on dark skins.

Yynsia’s New Model
The new bright eyes seem even BRIGHTER on dark skins.

Have you seen how the new face looks on the Armory for female draenei hunters?  I THINK YOU SHOULD.

>: | WAT IS WITH THIS FACE

>: |
WAT IS WITH THIS PINCHED EXPRESSION

I’d like to keep them Alliance, so that I am able to switch factions as desired to play with friends.  I’m leaning towards racechanging Daschela, the hunter, to a night elf, since the name originally applied to a night elf druid that later became Betheki the troll.  As far as Yynsia the shaman goes, I’ve been tossing around the idea of changing her either to a dwarf or panda.  On the one hand, I really like the panda casting animation.  On the other, pandas all have sameface syndrome, and I already have one panda.

Niremere
Alas, the changes to the human female hit me like a ton of bricks.  What bugs me the most about the human female faces is how it feels like Blizzard took the same approach they did with pandas: change the colors on the same face and call the resulting variations “different!”  Every face has the same eye shape, just in different colors.  (Speaking of eyes, they gave gnomes a face with mussed up eyeliner. What happened to the smudged eyeliner on my human?)  Every face has pencil-thin brows arched halfway to the moon.  Because of the shading on the upper lip, they almost all appear to be doing the duckface expression if you look at them straight on.

This image is a good example of how the human female faces could, you know, actually resemble the originals in more than eyecolor:

Original, live, and edited versions Originally posted to the forums by Vro of Evenfall server

Original, live, and edited versions
Posted to the forums by Vro

I think I could get used to the human female faces if I made a new character, but the problem with Niremere is that she has a history of sorts, a story in which her old appearance made sense but her new one makes no sense at all.  Niremere’s personality was even-keeled, stern and straightforward, and she was a competent badass who took no sheeyit.  Since the new face only superficially resembles the old one (is it just me, or does it look down), this is not the vibe I get from it.

Nir's New Model She grew a couple inches and several helm sizes.

Nir’s New Model
She grew a couple inches and several helm sizes.

This thread is of interest to me (despite how fast it got derailed by the “I don’t see what’s wrong just suck it up” camp) because the OP used the same face I did and has the same problem with the new model results.  One reply in the thread struck a chord for me as well:

“The human the OP posted, she looked pretty fierce. But with the raised eyebrows, tilted eyeballs, and lack of makeup, she looks pretty derp. And very different.

Still pretty, yeah. But she’s not the same character that was originally created.”

And that’s pretty much the crux of it.

I can’t see race-changing her, to be honest.  “Niremere” is human.  But I can’t see myself playing her much, either.  I’ll probably just leave her sitting as is for a good long while, until my idea of “Niremere” fades and I can pick a different face to go with a different character.


Other thoughts of note:

  • Interestingly, all the “old faces” have been mostly smoothed and dewrinkled
  • Re: gnomes.  People were complaining about female gnomes being too damn cutesy, so it looks an awful lot like Blizzard overcompensated by making them pissed off instead.
  • New Model Thread Catalogue – contains info on how to contact the lead character artist.  Debating actually doing it, because (as shown above) the human females can be made far more faithful to the original models.

 

Doomed to Repeat History

You’d think that I would have remembered just how bad I suck at rogue-ing.  I’d made it to level 80, after all, stubbornly stabbing things as best I could while other people actually did the killing DPS.  It sucked.  I sucked.  I was worse at rogue than I was at ret paladerping!

Forsaken Atmosphere Come for the culture, stay forever.

Forsaken Atmosphere
Come for the culture, stay forever.

But no.  I did not remember.

Since we beat the Challenge modes, Kash’s guild has the fancy cute pet thing that, alas, you have to be Revered to acquire.  As I am not able to finance a transfer at this point in time, I decided I’d just level up another alt – not like altoholism is a new problem for me or anything.  I had a full set of leather agility looms no longer in use, as well as one agility heirloom sword thanks to leveling a monk.  So I got an heirloom dagger, went Combat rogue, and have since regretted this choice utterly.

It’s like, DUH, self, DUH.  Didn’t you see this coming?  If I can’t be bothered keep up that Inquisition thing for ret paladerping, it stands to reason I am certainly not going to want to keep up Slice and Dice for rogue.  Especially not when building up combo points takes too @#$%king long to be useful in the first place!  I can generally get up to two or three of them if I can Ambush, which is so not guaranteed, and if my fellow party members are equally incompetent so the mob lives long enough.

Let’s assume I can Ambush, which means I succeeded in 1.) getting into Stealth in the first place, which is sometimes impossible because CHAIN PULLING, and 2.) getting behind the mob before it dies thanks to positional requirements.  P.S., the latter is only possible when the tank is a nice PvE person and not a PvPer, since PvPers continually whirl mobs around like some sort of paranoid drug addict on a high.  THIS IS NOT THE LUMBER MILL HERE, PEOPLE.  The next problem is that Ambush costs 60 energy, but I only have 100 energy max.  So let’s say the next thing I want to do is Revealing Strike.  Since Revealing Strike is only 40 energy, I can do two things in a row oh boy howdy!  But then I’m at absolutely zero energy and have to wait forever to do ANYTHING other than autoattack.  Oh, so Revealing Strike gives my Sinister Strikes a chance to generate an extra combo point?  Well, that’s just freaking SWELL, because Sinister Strike is a grand total of 50 energy – HALF MY ENTIRE ENERGY POOL.  You know how often I get to do that on a regular mob?  Like never.  I can use it maybe two or three times on a boss if the other DPS suck just as bad or worse than I do!

So you know what a low level rogue does?  ALMOST NOTHING.  Yeah, this is real fun!

And OoooOoOOooOo Combat rogues get Blade Flurry!  Sounds useful for low level dungeons, since people pull mobs en masse!  ONLY IT ISN’T USEFUL AT ALL, because it reduces your energy regen by 20%, which at this point is so laughably painful I just can’t even.

NO!  NO!  NO! WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO MEEEEE

NO! NO! NO!

I was trying to get some levels in via LFD, since higher level questing gives you more gold – which I will need to purchase the pet –  but yeah, screw that.  I’m going to just quest.  Actually, I may just make another class.  Or maybe I should leave this rogue alive as a testament to how I can’t rogue – SO I REMEMBER.

I Regret Nothing, More or Less

WTF Is He On Literally and figuratively

WTF Is He On?
Literally and figuratively

Soon after completing normal Siege, the guild moved onto the heroic version.  You might recall I spent some time fretting about this, but I ultimately concluded that I just wasn’t very interested in heroic raiding.  Yeah, I’d like the powerful gear and of course want to collect ALL THE COLORS of everything for transmog’s sake, but there’s “challenge,” as far as I’m concerned, and then there’s “suffering so much you learn to enjoy the pain.”  I did recently volunteer to jump off a cliff if it would get me a Garrosh kill, which actually worked!  (Can we talk the Dark Shaman transmog set now?  Because I will totally throw myself off a cliff into the sea onto a bunch of sharp pointy rocks for that … but preferably in Flex mode.  I got my limits.)

Bombelina, Liberator of Moar Gold Curse you, RNG.  CURSE YOUUUUUUU.

Bombelina, Liberator of Moar Gold
Curse you, RNG. CURSE YOUUUUUUU.

Yeah, I rolled, got gold, and then I died because of a dot or something, or possibly sheer frustration at FINALLY GETTING HIM DAED TIME TO USE PRECIOUS TOKENS and of course, gold.  (Or it could’ve just been overwhelming shock.)  So what’s a girl to do now that Garrosh has had his face punched in, Arf the Kor’kron War Wolf the Destroyer of Worlds has been adopted and I’ve conclusively proven that RNG doesn’t care how long you’ve waited for this moment?  GET MORE LEGENDARY CLOAKS, OBVIOUSLY.

The two closest contenders are Thermalix and Ignitine.  Thermalix is farther ahead in the quest series, partially because the end goal feels less distant.  She is currently stuck collecting Titan Runestones.  Ignitine’s got capped rep as well, but because she hit 90 so late, she’s still scrabbling for twenty Secrets of the Empire.  Thermalix and Ignitine are now both collecting Titan Runestones.  Niremere is trailing far, far behind at halfway through Honored with Wrathiewathie, and I don’t even remember where everybody else is (which means they’re probably all still collecting sigils).

I C WAT U DID THAR I feel it too.  IN MY SOUL.

I C WAT U DID THAR
I feel it too. IN MY SOUL.

Most people conclude that I am in dire need of an intervention when they hear that I’m working towards more legendary cloaks.  But I think I am still sane, since it’s not like I’m actually working real hard towards this goal or anything.  It’s more like, “oh gee, I guess I could transmute some trillium,” or, “well, it’s not like I’m doing anything else, so I could run ToT and see if any Secrets drop.”

Are You Saying Carnage is a Problem? Because I'm not seein' it.

Are You Saying Carnage is a Problem?
Because I’m not seein’ it.

But then again, I did just stay up until like two a.m. in the morning, grinding Ignitine’s Black Prince rep from the beginning of Revered to capped.  It was just so easy as a Destro lock, I couldn’t help myself!  I simply parked Ignitine and her Voidlord next to a spot where a bunch of statues spawned on a relatively quick basis (and some dumb ass Mogu walked by regularly), and they Killed Everything That Moved.  Sometimes all at once, even.  Was I not paying attention to what I was doing, and therefore got hit by four or five mobs that the Voidlord hadn’t aggroed yet?  Oh, I got a healthstone for that.  Healthstone on cooldown?  Oh, I got embers, I’m good.  Am I getting knocked back, interrupting my Chaos Bolt casts?  An eye for an eye and all that jazz, so I’ll just stun them … ALL AT ONCE. TREMBLE, STATUES, AS YOUR PATHETIC MAGIC BETRAAAAAAYS Y …

(Note to self: sure, you’ve broken ICC a couple times, but it seems clear that ICC has broken you.)

Even though Thermalix is the second character I ever created, I suspect that Ignitine’s got better long term chances of actually getting the cloak.  This is partially because Ignitine now outgears Thermalix (when the hell did that happen) by ten points.  It’s partially because the demons, while sometimes dumb, somehow seem to be less dumb than hunter pets.  (FOR THE LOVE OF DEEPS, STOP DESUMMONING YOURSELVES ON THE IMMERSEUS FIGHT.)

More importantly, Ignitine can heal herself with a renewable resource – embers.  (Healthstones don’t hurt, either, nor does making your demon shield you with its very health …)  Poor Therm has one pot per fight and any bandages she can get on herself, plus her spirit beast’s incredibly dinky heal.  Ignitine breezed through the part where you have to reactivate the Thunder Forge and make the spear to throw at Nalak, as did Bombelina before her.  Therm?  Nope.  I actually had to redo it (gasp), and I specifically planned ahead for the second attempt by running heroic dungeons until I got into a party with a warlock.  I stole a Healthstone and kept it for my own nefarious purposes.  Potion + bandage + spirit beast’s dinky heal + lockcookie = SUCCESS.

The other major factor for Ignitine’s eventual supremacy is the fact that I can manage 300k mana much better than I do 100 focus.  If I have focus, I must use Arcane Shot.  It’s some sort of compulsion where I must select the Thrill of the Hunt talent, and I must.  Press.  The.  Flashing.  Button.  I will Arcane Shot dump every bit of focus as fast as I possibly can until the button stops flashing.  But then Kill Command will come off cooldown and I end up not having enough focus!  That forces me to take a long time using Cobra Shot to restore focus.  Being me and liking flashy buttons, this situation occurs quite often and I always wind up using Cobra Shot more than once whether I need to or not because of my mashing technique.  Long story short: as a hunter, efficiency is not my #1 virtue.

For the Love of Gawd RUN FOR IT

For the Love of Gawd
RUN FOR IT

Throwing the spear at Nalak was fun, even though I’ve done it before.  I think it’s because there’s an element of totally ridiculous risk, but it’s not something utterly insurmountable – it can easily be defeated if I guilt people ask for help.

Greater Purpose It counts as moral support.

Greater Purpose
It counts as moral support.

Speaking of ogodwtf:

All The Awesome Best glyph, or best glyph?  You decide

All The Awesome
Best glyph, or best glyph? You decide

Scarlets and Mantids and OMFG DEATH, Oh My

You know what they call THIS?

STATUS MOUNT BABY Now to add some chrome.  Maybe neon too ...

STATUS MOUNT BABY
Now to add some chrome. Maybe neon too …

They call this a STATUS MOUNT.  Yeah, that’s right.  It may not be as statusy as Invincible, but you can’t see that one anyway.  (p.s., can somebody explain to me why I can ride some flying mounts everywhere, even in instances – say, the Sky Golem – but others won’t let me do the same?  They’re all “flying” mounts to me, so I don’t get the distinction.)

You know what they call THIS?

Crazed Tribal Tiki Torch Bikini Babe If you're a guy, you actually expose your moobs.  GASP.

Crazed Tribal Tiki Torch Bikini Babe
If you’re a guy, you actually expose your moobs. GASP.

A FREAKING DISASTER!  Also, I think the shoulder totems/torches/cannons talk when I cast.  I have enough voices to start with, so I really don’t know how I feel about adding two more to the choir.  I guess it would be appropriate if one talking tiki cannon represented Good Prinnie.  Good Prinnie is the Prinnie known for her non-destructive works, like the times when I hit Ghost Wolf before the invis potion button thereby avoiding aggro for the greater good, or when I remembered to heal the tank keep the tank alive when the actual healer was getting mana, thereby saving time for the greater good.  The other talking tiki cannon would represent Derp Prinnie.  Derp Prinnie runs around in circles in the Siege of Niuzao, trailing all the adds everywhere while helpfully screaming “OGOD ALL THE ADDS” in Vent.  In my defense, I thought we were gonna restart the attempt (we didn’t).

Completing all Challenge mode dungeons at the bronze level will net you “the Undaunted” title. This is a very handy dandy title that serves to prove that you will NOT be stopped by the whim of RNG or even the pain of frequent, repeat death.  (YES.  YOU HEAR THAT!?  I AM NOT DAUNTED BY YOU, RNG!)  You can get the mount for all silver runs.  The transmog set is only available to those souls who have completed all the Challenge mode dungeons at a gold level (a.k.a., within a narrow, often annoyingly short time limit).

You gotta be READY for Challenge modes.  CMs are all like, “you think you know these dungeons, eh?  Feel pretty comfy in your tier gear?  Used to that legendary DPS cloak proc that tentacles all the adds dead?”  A CM dungeon will then laugh its ass off and tear you a new one while you sob about your favorite set bonus that no longer counts, or the fact that your invis pot didn’t last long enough for you to actually jump over the edge and engage Gekkan without also engaging sixteen bazillion adds.  Challenge modes like to see you suffer.  A CM dungeon will take one look at that fancy food you just ate and then kill you dead so you have to eat something else all over again.

The level of difficulty meant that Bombelina was the only one who could do Challenge modes, relegating every other alt to support staff status.  As a result, other characters with CM mog sets I liked better found themselves playing second fiddle despite mog usually being my top priority.  Ailabeth got stuck serving time in a damp cave out in Un’goro, looking for stupid mushrooms.  On the plus side, she discovered she could pass the time by one-shotting the gorillas with Shadow Word: Pain.  She eventually emptied the entire place.  Think about it, man –  Bombelina, Ailabeth and an entire species were all devastated by Challenge modes!

Most of My Screenshots Look Like This Because derp

Most of My Screenshots Look Like This
Because derp

My partners in crime in this endeavor were Goa, Kash, Shanthi and Shudal.  They’re all on the same server and in the same guild, which is good, because that means they’re all freaking heroic raiders (a.k.a., this kinda stuff doesn’t really phase them because lol it’s just timing).  Basically, it was all thanks to them that this went over well.  I kinda set the low bar in terms of overall performance.  Since gear is scaled down, it’s obviously a skill thing, but I shall pretend otherwise.  Seeking to deflect attention from my inadequacies, I totally say it’s because I was obviously busy dropping the combustostunulator totem and running away, or bringing out one of my elementals and running away, or trying to put down Healing Stream and running away … multitasking.  Yeah.

If I'm Alive Enough To Yell, I'm Fine It's IMPORTANT to state how I feel.

If I’m Alive Enough To Yell, I’m Fine
It’s IMPORTANT to state how I feel.

My reactions to each dungeon were somewhat varied, depending on how painful the experience was.

Scarlet Halls
I don’t even remember this one anymore, which means it wasn’t that traumatic.

Mogu’shan Palace
Ffffffffff invis potions jeebus cripes get in the car it’s a lot of saurok.

Scholomance
Even though I’ve seen that ice wall a million times and know it’s coming, it turns out that ice walls can still freak me out bad.

Siege of Niuzao
THERE ARE ADDS EVERYWHERE THERE IS NOTHING THAT ISN’T AN ADD THAT ISN’T BAD.

Gate of the Setting Sun
Bombelina doesn’t like to be on the receiving end of multiple bombs.

Temple of the Jade Serpent
I still can’t run in nice, even circles.  I do more of an oval.  Or this kinda wobbly sort of shape …

Shado-Pan Monastery
Pandas are pushovers.

Stormstout Brewery
If I ever see another hozen, it’ll be too soon (and it’s gonna be a dead hozen).

Scarlet Monastery
So, elemental shamans get Solar Beam when a druid uses Symbiosis on them.  98% of the time, this is entirely regrettable and utterly pointless.  BUT HOLY CRAP, IS IT USEFUL HERE OR WHAT!

It’ll probably be a cold day in hell before you see me in another Challenge Mode dungeon.

You Know What You’re Doing, Right?

Also entitled, “The Case for People Who Don’t Read the Dungeon Journal.”

While we're in this bubble together ... BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT GO

While we’re in this bubble together …
BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT GO

Let’s make one thing clear: I’m not arguing for the complete, utter abandonment of “personal responsibility,” “independent learning capability,” “initiative,” or whatever you want to call it.  I personally hate it 100% when tanks show up in LFR and announce they don’t know what they’re doing or that they’ve never once been there before.

I am suggesting, however, that our ideal – the LFR player who reads up ahead of time – is a high standard that is pointless to apply to the majority of players, and in clinging to this ideal, we do nothing more than frustrate ourselves and others.  We play in a reality where the available tools simply do not provide the necessary information in the right way for those who would like to run LFR.

Your High Expectations Lead to Disappointment Repeated disappointment makes you act like this!

Your High Expectations Lead to Disappointment
Repeated disappointment makes you act like this!

You know what the most efficient method of gaining knowledge is for most folks?  It’s people.

“BLEEPING HELL,” you yell.  “THERE’S THE MOTHER TRUCKING DUNGEON JOURNAL IN THE GAME!  HOW HARD IS THAT?”

Well, I don’t know if you noticed, but if you consider what the LFR player REALLY wants to know, the Dungeon Journal format sucks.  Let’s break down what each role needs into the smallest, most generalized pieces possible.

If I am a DPS, I need to know the following things …

1. My own damn skillset
Example: Dude, with this Soulstone, I could battleres a tank or something!

2. What to attack
Example: STOP DPSING BLACKFUSE AND ATTACK THE CRAWLER MINES!

3. Mechanics that will wipe me personally
Example: Standing right next to Thunderstruck!

4. HOW TO AVOID IT
Example: Run far away!

5. Mechanics that will wipe the entire raid if I eff them up
Example: Leading Thok through the raid!

6. HOW TO NOT EFF IT UP
Example: Not leading Thok through the raid!

If I am a healer, I need to know the following things …

1. My own damn skillset
Example: Where did all my freaking mana go!?

2. What is dispellable and what needs to be dispelled
Example: OMFG STOP DISPELLING ON SHA OF PRIDE TRASH I KNOW IT’S FUN BUT IT’S MORALLY QUESTIONABLE!

3. Mechanics that will cause periods of intense or raidwide damage
Example: So, when everybody’s got a lot of Pride, and nobody moves for Swelling Pride

4. Mechanics that will wipe me personally
Example: What’s this yellow circle thing on me during the Fallen Protectors fight?

5. HOW TO AVOID IT
Example: My beloved DPS, let me share this damage with you!

6. Mechanics that will wipe the entire raid if I eff them up
Example: Thok hears you like being locked out of Holy magic, and he wants to help!

7. HOW TO NOT EFF IT UP
Example: Wish you were a druid! Pay attention to Thok’s cast timer and pray for some sorta instaproc!

If I am a tank, I need to know the following things …

1. My own damn skillset
Example: Oh, so Death Grip DOES work on those!

2. What number of stacks of what debuff to swap at
Example: Horridon, Dark Shamans, Nazgrim, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

3. What boss(es) and/or adds I need to grab
Example: Dear Fellow Tank, I’ll start with Kardris, and you grab Haromm!

4. Where to stand and what direction to face so I don’t kill the raid
Example: Dark Shamans in Falling Ash = Bad!

5. Mechanics that will wipe me personally
Example: The other tank not taunting!

6. HOW TO AVOID IT
Example: Screaming at the other tank to taunt!

7. Mechanics that will wipe the entire raid if I eff them up
Example: Pretty much everything!

8. HOW TO NOT EFF IT UP
Example: Do everything right, duh!

There are some consistencies here, no?

Inefficient Delivery of Information Also known in this case as TMI

Inefficient Delivery of Information
Also known in this case as TMI

So let’s say I look at the Dungeon Journal to address these basic info needs.  What I get is a long, detailed list of abilities that may or may not be relevant (and which must be expanded/minimized) in a small area, in addition to a couple of tabs which let you look at loot and a large picture of the boss itself.  Okay, so the picture looks cool, I guess.  But really, I don’t need that kinda emphasis on its appearance or the ability to rotate the freaking boss model.  I know what the boss looks like.  IT’S STANDING RIGHT THERE.

Dynamic Interactivity If I were gonna cosplay this box, the ability to rotate the model is sweet!

Dynamic Interactivity
If I were gonna cosplay this box, the ability to rotate the model is sweet!

I don’t need to know that the ability will cause XYZ damage over XYZ period of time.  The numbers are useless information, because in the heat of the moment, I am almost certainly not going to be looking at my HP, reading up on the damage numbers (or magically remembering them?), and making the obviously simple mathematical calculation to THEN conclude that this crap is going to kill me.  No.  Just tell me if this sheeyit will kill me dead and how damn fast it’ll do so.  If it’s not that fast, is it sheeyit I should stand in for some reason?  Yes or no?

Tell me what’s IMPORTANT, not everything.

So, we might then argue that the Dungeon Journal is kinda useless, unless you wanna look at loot.  “BUT THERE’S ICY VEINS,” you retort.  “YOUTUBE EVEN.”

Well, if the Dungeon Journal contains too much crap for immediate reference, then Icy Veins is still far too detailed for most LFR users.  They want only the minimum amount of info needed to survive any given encounter.  The Immerseus guide, for example, has three paragraphs on positioning.  The LFR version would be something like, “SPREAD OUT EVENLY AND DO NOT STAND ON THE SAME PLATFORM AS A TANK.”  Done.

Let’s be real.  Very few LFRers are going to read the entirety of a guide when there’s something better available – their fellow players.  It’s rare to find a group where absolutely no one will say something, especially if it’s one of the tanks asking for a run down.  After all, dealing with someone’s ignorance by giving the silent treatment is kinda stupid.  (That’s not to say that people DON’T do it, but most folks are socially conditioned not to.)  You’ll also have people like me.  I don’t care whether or not I’m enabling idiocy – I’d prefer to take charge of the situation by giving instructions over wiping!  So I’ll often yell the right target to attack during Fallen Protectors, whether somebody’s said they don’t know what to do or not.  I can tell, DPS.  I see you attacking Sun.  I’ll yell when to spread during the Sha of Pride fight.  If telling people to stack or whatever helps me live, then by Gawd, I am going to do it.

If we’re going to go for simple, the best guide I have found thus far is the “DPS Raid Guide – LFR” on WoWHead.  Sadly, there’s so much content and lots of guides, so this is not easy to find if you don’t know it exists or how to look for it.  (I also like the gif guides there, but I like gifs in general.  They often come with cats.)

Let’s have one more cranky curser + sneezing cat shot for the road.

Because, You Know, The Pet Won't Die or Something Also like, it's the little anima golems and I wanted one off my face.  CHILL!

Because, You Know, The Pet Won’t Die or Something
Also like, it’s the little anima golems and I wanted one off my face. CHILL!

SoO LFR Seems Less Fun, But Why?

Good News, Everybody We now have scientific evidence that going AFK reduces the queue time by at least ten minutes.

Good News, Everybody
We now have scientific evidence that going AFK reduces the queue time by at least ten minutes.

I happened to be looking at Bombelina’s SoO LFR kill totals the other day.  They are, in order:

Wing One: Vale of Eternal WTFery

  • Immerseus x14
  • Fallen Protectors x14
  • Norushen x14
  • Sha of Pride x12

Wing Two: Gates of Retribution

  • Galakras x11
  • Iron Juggernaut x10
  • Dark Shamans x9
  • General Nazgrim x7

Wing Three: Underhold

  • Malkorok x6
  • Spoils of Pandaria x5
  • Thok x5

Wing Four: Downfall

  • Siegecrafter Blackfuse x4
  • Paragons of the Klaxxi x3
  • Garrosh Hellderp x1

From this assortment of digits and disappointments, I draw the following mostly unsupported and not necessarily even related conclusions:

1.) The Pain in the Assness Quotient increases substantially after Wing One
And as a result, my numbers begin to drop fast.  Unlike Ye Olde ToT LFR, I no longer finish one wing and queue for the next, and I’ve barely even touched the last wing at all.  Bombelina is the ONLY one who has defeated Garrosh (on LFR and Flex).  In comparison, a good number of my characters have downed Lei Shen, with Bombelina leading the pack at 18 LFR kills.  For Gawd’s sake, I’ve killed Siegecrafter Blackfuse and the Klaxxi more in Normal than I have in LFR.

Thanks to mechanics that require skills like group arrangement, personal restraint and focused DPS when presented with multiple targets, crap gets substantially harder for LFR groups after the Sha of Pride.  How many times have I seen people start the Galakras fight without setting up a tower team?  How many times have I seen people tunnel vision on Nazgrim only to die to all the adds?  (Oh yeah, or that whole DEFENSIVE STANCE business.)  How many times have I seen people attack different Klaxxi Paragons, or ignore Korven’s Amber?  (Answer: more than my number of kills would lead you to believe, since eventually I left and/or every group in question fragmented and quit.)

Blizzard did get smart when they made the Spoils fight require a grand total of FOUR people to start up in LFR, since somebody would ALWAYS kick the box and begin the encounter before everybody was ready.  So why, then, can the Galakras encounter STILL be started by ONE person?  Practically EVERY TIME I run that wing, SOMEBODY TALKS TO LORTHIE, and there’s NO ESCAPE once it has begun.

Yet it isn’t Pain in the Assness alone.  It’s also the fact that everybody’s annoyed as hell by the end of the first boss.

And They'll All Go Down Together If only I had a way to kill the tank without offing myself too.

And They’ll All Go Down Together
If only I had a way to kill the tank without offing myself too.

2.) Four bosses is too damn long
Like that one time somebody was getting ready to sass me for doing the least number of dispels on the Sha of Pride trash, or by the time I get back to Nazgrim after the second wipe – I’m finished, even if the last boss is not.  I am just DONE by then.  DONE.  Many people lose their cool a lot sooner.  Combine long boss fights with four bosses in the first two wings and you get people dropping so damn fast that nearly any group will disintegrate before it even gets to three stacks of Determination.

Or you get people trolling.  “Why are we taking so long to pull the boss,” they say, in a whiny tone with less words, right before they pull the boss and kill everyone.  Not sure which result I like least.

3.) OMFG Trash
I know that this is supposed to be like, the penultimate raid for the expansion and sheeyit, but damn!  SoO trash is like a boss unto itself, only spread out and every-freaking-where you go.  Just run by the blind swordsmen? HAHAHAHA YOU ACT LIKE YOU GOT 25 NOT-COMPLETELY-DISTRACTED PEOPLE TOGETHER HERE.  Bunch up tight so you don’t pull all the adds in the middle of Org?  HAHAHAHAHA YOU’RE NOT MY MOM, YOU CAN’T TELL ME HOW TO STACK.  LFR didn’t know you had to kill ALL the orc engineers who open those boxes, letting out Shredders?  HAHAHAHAHAHA ENJOY THE PAIN AND SUFFERING, MOTHER TRUCKERS.

Speaking of those engineers: WHY is it that the gnomes take care of the trash in those rooms for the Alliance, but we Hordies gotta fight through it?  Why?  It’s like Blizzard is trying to counter Horde favoritism claims by making the last wing suck for Horde.  Or maybe they want us to struggle ’cause Garrosh was our Warchief or something.  Dudes, you put Garrosh up there, not me!

5.) The Midas Touch OF DEATH
RNG.

If ever I meet you in a dark alleyway, RNG, you’d best be prepared to take a plunger to the face.

You have been warned.

DON'T JUDGE Agility.  It'll be the new priest tanking spec in WoD.

DON’T JUDGE
Agility. It’ll be the new priest tanking spec in WoD.

On the one hand, I like having individualized loot because I can’t imagine an LFR group trying to divvy up the goods, and also because I never win the really good crap when I have to roll against somebody.  But on the other hand, it still pisses me the hell off when I spend one of my three carefully acquired tokens, and get more gold.  It still irritates me deeply when I spend my evening hours trudging through Orgrimmar with crankyass, snarktastic LFR groups and enduring painful, long boss fights, only to get gold on every single freaking boss, or a piece of gear I can’t actually use.  YEAH, THANKS FOR THE OFFHAND, RNG.  DID I MENTION I USE A STAFF?

Maybe it’s because it seems to emphasize the unfairness somehow.  I have a limited amount (of course) of Seals (vs. 16 bosses or so if you include Ordos and the Celestials), and must be very choosy about spending them – therefore, when I finally use them and get the same old thing (A TRIFLING AMOUNT OF YET MORE GOLD!), it irritates me.  When I part with one of my precious, precious coins, I expect a damn piece of loot!

Maybe it’s because I can’t necessarily or easily get seals for the LFR that’s the appropriate level for the character in question.  For some of my alts, grinding Timeless Coins to purchase Mogu Runes of Fate is an impossibility.  Depending on my skill or lack thereof with an alt (as well as their gear), it may take too long to be practical, or may result in too many deaths.  Why can’t I choose which dang charm type I get from the quest guy?

Maybe it’s because I want to stomp on the toes of every asshat but can’t, and that impotent anger is redirected into RNG hate.

Or maybe it’s because I keep on hoping that dealing with sheeyit will be worth it because surviving said sheeyit will reward me with this or that thing that I’ve really wanted for whatever reason (getting rid of bad gear/getting a set bonus/etc.).  When it does not, it’s like I’ve gone through the same old sheeyit for no damn good reason.  If I cannot guarantee a replacement or even noticeably up my chance of upgrading my worst slots (why yes, that character is carting around a 450 trinket, thanks), then why bother?

I’ve started writing down what I get, or trying to at least.  I take note of the character, the date, the LFR/flex, what loot I received initially, whether or not I rolled, and what I received for that roll.  The idea here is that I will be able, in times of great gear sadness, to look at the list and say, “but hey, Bombelina got such and such on this date!”  Either that, or it’ll just reinforce my stinky RNG.  Probably the latter.