Tag Archives: horridon

Part One: Last Stand of the Zandaas;ldfjas;lfkjasf OGOD

Part One: Last Stand of the Zandas;ldfjas;lfkjasf OGOD

It's a Love/Hate Relationship As a goblin, my love is directly inverse to the amount of near death involved.

It’s a Love/Hate Relationship
As a goblin, my love is directly inverse to the amount of near death involved.

Okay, so, I’m not going to lie.  While Feign Death was incredibly useful for me as a huntard, you know what’s even MORE useful for me, as a player in general?  Reincarnation!  This does not always mean that I succeed on my next attempt at living (nor will I necessarily help anybody at all by getting myself off the ground), but hey, at least I get another shot at sacrificing my dignity on the altar of derp.

Reintarnation! It's a state of being.

Reintarnation!
It’s a state of being.

We had a grand total of nine people for the night, as the tenth didn’t show and the guild team Does Not Pug.  Still, we decided to keep on trucking.  On the Jin “the Zap” Rokh fight, I managed to get myself nuked super-dead by first getting smacked with a ball of lightning, and then Reincarnating too close too an electrified puddle.  I didn’t think I was in the puddle, but apparently I was!  SITUATIONAL AWARENESS, I HAZ IT.  There are a couple things to take away from this.  Number one, wow, holy crap, the lightning is like super bad here.  Number two, I have just scientifically proven that lightning does strike twice – with my face.

Kinda Sorta Still Kinda Sorta Counts It didn't look puddly to me.

Kinda Sorta Still Kinda Sorta Counts
It didn’t look puddly to me.

Any dreams I had of not coming across as a hopeful prospect and not “derpity derp derp derp” were pretty much gone at this point.  Fortunately, the other members of the raid team are both geared and good.  That meant that when the other healer got taken out too, they still beat him.  Hooray for my deaths not causing everybody to die!

Or Not BAD, Persay Just not terribly effective either.

Or Not BAD, Persay
Just not terribly effective either.

If you think the next boss I derped on was Horridon, you’re wrong.  It was actually the bridge.  (I DID derp on Horridon, but I’ll get to that in a minute.)

We have two warlocks,  both of whom positioned their demonic gateways in such a way as to lead to almost certain death.  They also coordinated via whisper and switched up the gate destination (so that one’s starter gate was not directly in front of his end gate), and then they presented it as a “hey, trust MY gateway, not his!” sort of situation.  (As a side note, one of the locks actually died to his own trick while laughing his ass off – not saying who.)  Since I’m me, and I have some issues with edges that are too close making me fall off them by accident, I elected to go Ghost Wolf form and run the distance rather than take a gate so close to the consequences of gravity.

First thought: Wow, the wind’s a whole lot stronger!  Jeebus, I’m so so close to the edge, lemme Rocket Jump to get some breathing ro …

Second thought: HOLY SHEEYIT I’M FLYING WOW

See, in LFR, the floaty blue spirit trolls do two things.  They freak you out by dangling their enormous weird toes right above your head, and they do a bit of damage so that you are inspired to get away from their beam of light.  So I was ready to get pushed into a beam by the wind.  I had my finger on the healthstone button and all.  It’s just … well, nobody told me that in normal, the floaty spirit trolls also launch you off the bridge.

Horri-“hell-this isn’t so bad, or wait, maybe it is”-don was truly an eye-opener.  In LFR, I am accustomed to trying to live through a variety of bad ouchy things like the whole raid getting double swiped, or shamantanking the adds because the offtank is off somewhere.  In a normal run with a guild group that’s gone through the place before, it’s actually rather nice and comparatively calm.  You never wind up staring Horridon in the face (or tail)!  In short, it was going GREAT until I stood in poison.  I was too busy marveling at my survival to actually survive.

Fortunately, with two warlocks and a druid, we got an excess of battle resses for people like me.  I am pretty sure that whenever I show up, someone will have an additional role: “Beth’s battle resser.”

Look At How Healthy We Are! You can credit that 75% to the other healer.  Yep.

Look At How Healthy We Are!
You can credit that 75% to the other healer. Yep.

The methodology I adopted on the fly (after I got picked up again) worked well for healing and for surviving the rest of the fight.  In short, closely follow the people who know where they’re going!  “Stay away from the frost things, ’cause they’ll mess your sheeyit up.”  Ok, as long as you do, I do too!  “Stay away from totems, because ditto.”  No problem as long as I’m your shadow!  It sounds totally dependent and it probably is, but if it works, it works.  Right?

Now, the Council fight was the one that terrified me (in concept) the most.  SO MUCH potential crap could happen, but there’s only so much of me!  Of course, I actually lived on this one.  (Say whaaaaaaaaaat?)  I was healing the tanks for this one, which was both a relief and a source of great terror.  On the one hand, there are only two of them!  Sweet!  On the other, DAMAGE THERE IS DAMAGE AND OGOD DEAR SWEET JEEBUS if they die and we don’t/can’t get them up, we die.  So suffice it to say I got a little tunnel-visioned, as best evidenced by this paraphrased Vent exchange:

Raid Leader: Beth, get away from the panther.
Me: What?  Get away from the panzer? (while thinking, “wait just a second, the trolls get tanks in normal!?”)
Pretty Much Everybody: PanTHer.  PanTHER.  The cat!  The shadow thing!
Me: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Tank: Uh, I think she’s focused on healing.

I must also report that frantically double-clicking does not make your spells cast any faster.

After that, we decided to start the Forgotten Depths.

When Happiness Conflicts Trauma ensues.

When Happiness Conflicts
Trauma ensues.

I mentioned before that we were at nine people.  It just so happened to be one of the tanks, which in turn caused the group’s rogue to switch to his blood DK to cover for him.  The fact he was able to switch was great, of course.  The fact that he is is like the DREAM rogue (everything that my poor Bombelina is never going to ever be able to be) meant that we were without one of the highest DPSers!  As a result, we didn’t really have much intention of trying Meggies.  Tortos, however, we thought we could take.

Summary:  A;SLFKJAS;LFKJAS;LKFJA;SLFJ TURTLES AND CIRCLES AND BATS GAWD

Having now completed the fight in both LFR and normal, I think I can safely say that I hate it in all the freaking modes ever.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s “fun” in that it’s chaotic and geeze all the things, but as a caster who has to hold still to cast sheeyit most of the time, the inability to stay put for very long makes the fight kiiiiinda sucky.  Spiritwalker’s Grace (enabling me to cast while moving, a.k.a., when turtles have tossed me up into the air) only lasts for so long.  I tried to wedge myself into the far corner by Tortos’ one leg where I could see the tanks (was on tank duty), but that wasn’t any good either, because it meant I had a harder time seeing the circles/falling rocks that were aiming directly for my skull.

Dear ceiling stalactites: WHAT HAS MY SKULL DONE TO YOU!?  FALL ON TORTOS FOR ONCE, WILL YOU!?

Dear bats: GTFO, I’m serious.  Nobody likes you.

Dear turtles: For eff’s sake, will you die in a more convenient spot?  Urgh!

After a few circle/turtle/Stone Breath related wipes, we finally managed to kill him.  Of course, he didn’t drop a thing that anybody could actually use (Lord forbid he do that), so we disenchanted all the loot and … hearthed out.

If I can still see him ... Then I haven't beaten him to a fine enough pulp yet.

If I can still see him …
Then I haven’t beaten him to a fine enough pulp yet.

Stay tuned for Part Two: Forgotten DepTHE HELL DID I STAND IN NOW!?

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When LFR becomes a daily thing …

YOU LEAVE MY MOMMA OUTTA THIS YOUR momma, on the other hand ...

YOU LEAVE MY MOMMA OUTTA THIS
YOUR momma, on the other hand …

At first, I thought I was entering a kind of “zen zone” where LFR could no longer disturb my natural balance of awesome.  Perhaps the repeated wipes necessary to take out Lei Shen had expanded my perspective!  It was like suffering increased my capacity to … uh … suffer.  So despite being in several LFR groups with some issues, I was generally able to keep my sense of humor about the whole deal.  It was like I had given up on thinking about weapons!

For example, after a mind-boggling wipe on Jin “The Zap” Rokh, Cal and I cheerfully took on the role of lifeguards for the Isle of Thunder Community Pool:

OUT OUT OUT No kids allowed!  The adults wanna do respectable laps.

OUT OUT OUT
No kids allowed! The adults wanna do respectable laps.

Or how about the time I asked who was on nest duty?

I got a form.  It's signed and everything.  "No Nest Duty for Thermalix."

I got a form. It’s signed and everything. “No Nest Duty for Thermalix.”

I was bringing my own brand of special to LFR, and it was great!

Alas, it seems gear still has the ability to make me go all angrypants, destroying my delusions of self-mastery.

After having gone through Vault of Mysteries with a surprisingly derpy group (trust me, if buttonmasher me is #3 in DPS, there are SEVERE PROBLEMS PRESENT), I was back in the Shrine making some ragefaces at the wall.  Will of the Emperor gave me a hat (AGAIN) that was worse than what I had on, and this was especially galling because the damn boss also drops a bow!  I then realized that I had unread mail from The Postmaster.  Hmmm.

It occurred to me that although I started the Elegon fight, I hadn’t been around to complete it.  While it was first time I’ve seen a tank go through the floor, it was not the first time I’ve seen a tank use Elegon to blast the rest of the party in a show of pent-up subconscious aggression.  As you might expect, the group wiped.  The overly enthusiastic (and possibly new?  I mean, the floor, everybody knows that it vanishes by now, right?) tank pulled again before I made it back into the room.  I got locked out, but of course Elegon was still able to damage me with his abilities while no one could heal me.  Splendid!  Running low on potions and healthstones (dear warlocks: they are a renewable resource, so stop hoarding them), I had to hearth out to avoid dying in the hallway.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to open this mail, but I did.  As I feared, inside was YET ANOTHER Bottle of Infinite Stars (which is worse than both my trinkets).  I’ve gotten a bazillion of these things, so I really do think Elegon is messing with me now, just for the lolz.  He’s like, hey, Therm, good seeing you again.  HAVE A BOTTLE OF INFINITE STARS.

At that point, SO MUCH FOR MY ZEN.  I swear to Gawd, if Elegon gives me ONE MORE Bottle of Infinite Stars before I get a weapon, I am going to seriously go back in time, rip off one of his wee little starlegs and beat him upside the head with it.  YOU HEAR ME, ELEGON?  I WILL HAVE TO RESORT TO VIOLENCE.  You know, something more violent than shooting him with lots of magical arrows.

I’m including this last image because it makes me happy, not because it’s relevant.

What We Do While Waiting We torment the small snails for all the times their larger cousins tormented us.

What We Do While Waiting
We torment the small snails for all the times their larger cousins tormented us.

Thermalix Strikes at the Throne of Thunder

Yes, I went there.  AND THERE.

The Throne of ThunderThe goblin mind can justify anything it wants to do. ANYTHING.

The Throne of Thunder
The goblin mind can justify anything it wants to do. ANYTHING.

Though she knows a number of people who are crowing about the increased drop rates these days, Thermalix ran Mogu’shan Vaults and Terrace of Endless Spring this week and came up weaponless yet again.  She was at the farm afterwards, busily pouting and planting pumpkins, when she suddenly hit upon the glorious idea of SEEKING GREAT JUSTICE FOR THE POOR DEAD CHICKENS.  Since she has no equal for leaps of logic (these things make PERFECT SENSE), she grabbed a friend and queued for LFR.  With such a noble mission, how could things possibly go wrong?

Throne of ThunderI probably should've gone with the whole road less traveled.

Throne of Thunder
I probably should’ve gone with the whole road less traveled.

There was trash, of course, but Thermalix didn’t care about that.  They wouldn’t give her JUSTICE.  The first thing she encountered that mattered was Mr. Jin “The Zap” Rokh, seen above.   Thermalix was prepared in some ways (got a mission), but not in others (actually knowing WTF was going to happen).  So Fel did his darndest to explain what was about to unfold … in a way that a goblin could understand.

You see, this place is SCIENCE.  There will be water.  There will be lightning.  The two together can be unpleasant.

The Throne of ThunderIt's for SCIENCE!  And chickens.

The Throne of Thunder
It’s for SCIENCE! And chickens.

Thermalix gets science.  Really, she does.  She just doesn’t get why it has to be so damn painful all the time.  She also doesn’t get why we’d have a palace with water and crap in a place with constant bad weather.  IS THERE NOT WATER ENOUGH COMING FROM THE SKY??

The Throne of ThunderIt is an option.

The Throne of Thunder
It is an option.

Anyway, then came Horridon.  He also had a buddy, but Therm doesn’t remember that guy.  This is mostly because next to the shining beacon of awesomesauce that is Horridon the Horrible, anybody short of a god would fade into nothingness.  He was THERE – but he didn’t matter.

The Throne of ThunderOH GOD NO BAD DINO STOP

The Throne of Thunder
OH GOD NO BAD DINO STOP

I don’t really remember why, exactly, I thought Therm could escape through a door.  I might’ve had some idea of cowering in a small opening that Horridon could not get himself into.  Unfortunately, pretty much all the doors are locked, busted or filled with trolls who would rather you die right here right now.

In truth, I’m somewhat thankful that Blizzard went with a direhorn for Horridon.  If it had been a Devilsaur like Oondasta, I would’ve been in a corner crying, door or no door, trolls or no trolls.  Anybody remember Sharptooth from the Land Before Time?  He, other carnivorous dinosaurs and, for some reason, mummies (I kid you not) were the terror or my childhood.

The Throne of ThunderMy dreams are usually three times my size.

The Throne of Thunder
My dreams are usually three times my size.

Some day.  But first …

The Throne of ThunderOtherwise, this angle could be awkward.

The Throne of Thunder
Otherwise, this angle could be awkward.

Thermalix has this secret fear that Zandalari trolls go commando.  I don’t know why.  It seems like something they’d do, and she’d just rather not know that sort of thing.  But so many of them keep showing up in kilts!  They’re practically giants, and Therm’s somewhere around two feet tall.  If her suspicions are true, she’s bound to witness something sooner or later.

The Throne of ThunderI have to figure out how to salvage those cannons first ... Or were they coffins?  Kinda hard to tell.

The Throne of Thunder
I have to figure out how to salvage those cannons first … Or were they coffins? Kinda hard to tell.

Either way, I’d like to take those home with me.  Anybody got a crowbar?

On to the council.

The Throne of ThunderWORK IN PROGRESS HERE PEOPLE

The Throne of Thunder
WORK IN PROGRESS HERE PEOPLE

I was told it was a flustercluck, and indeed, the council of trolls delivered.  There was some contention in the LFR group in regards to who should be killed daaeed first.  Kill whoever’s possessed.  No, kill the sand guy.  No, the sand guy and the storm guy are equally bad.  Ignore the hulk.  No, kill him if he’s possessed.  No, kill the female troll, she does healing crap.  No, kill adds.  Thermalix concluded that she didn’t like the sand guy, so she was going to shoot him.  He seemed like the type to assassinate innocent chickens.

Being a goblin, however, Therm could not resist planning for the future once they were all taken care of.  Well, she probably just couldn’t keep up the pretense of fighting for the sake of dead chickens.  Real estate’s got so much more potential.

The Throne of ThunderYou know, after we deal with the whole troll/mogu thing.

The Throne of Thunder
You know, after we deal with the whole troll/mogu thing.

And lastly, she had to try something that she didn’t dare do while everybody else was still in the LFR – she went back to where the windy platform/bridgethings were, and she jumped.  It seemed to be the most efficient way of finding out what was down there.

The Throne of ThunderIt may be connected to the Twisting Nether.

The Throne of Thunder
It may be connected to the Twisting Nether.