Tag Archives: maraudon

My Rules for Lowbie LFD Tanking

NO TAMPERING WITH THE MAILNOTHING you can open in Strath contains something good. NOTHING.

NO TAMPERING WITH THE MAIL
NOTHING you can open in Strath contains something good. NOTHING.

RULE NUMBER ONE: KEEP ONE AOE SKILL HANDY AT ALL TIMES
Because if it’s there to be pulled, somebody’s probably going to pull it, intentionally or otherwise.  Whatever it is will almost certainly come with friends.

RULE NUMBER TWO: HE CAN’T HELP IT …
If you have a feral druid DPS in the party, he or she is most likely experiencing an identity crisis and will be shapeshifting for most of the dungeon.  As long as he isn’t actually trying to tank while in bear, he’s harmless.

When you see him switch between tree and cat forms in the middle of the fight, be glad all you do is tank crap, and that’s pretty straight forward at this stage of the game since you are a paladerp and all you do is faceroll in your unsurpassable natural (and only) form.  And just disregard the fact that really, only one of the druid forms is useful for his current spec/role.  Dude’s just confused.

RULE NUMBER THREE: … BUT THEY CAN
Huntards and other ranged classes (but mostly huntards, since they’re not AS squishy as mages) like to shoot sheeyit before you get to it.  Save them if you want to, but a little damage would probably do ’em good.  Just sayin’.

Maybe ...Except the druid wiped too, which makes me think that either 1.) he didn't plan his revenge well, or 2.) he didn't intend to have us die at all.

Maybe …
Except the druid wiped too, which makes me think that either 1.) he didn’t plan his revenge well, or 2.) he didn’t intend to have us die at all.

RULE NUMBER FOUR: MAKE SURE THE HEALER’S GOT YOUR BACK
Because sometimes, the huntard’s got to die.  Also, a good healer who doesn’t panic can save your ass when everything goes to hell – a.k.a., the room in Scholomance with Professor Slate.  Said healer can also save your ass when the chronically confused catbeartreemanbird gets distracted with all the shapeshifting and pulls crap on accident.

Take It Or Leave It'cause I'm stayin'.

Take It Or Leave It
’cause I’m stayin’.

RULE NUMBER FIVE: STAND YOUR GROUND
If you don’t want to run the dungeon like someone who’s hopped up on six venti expresso machiatto chai latte whatevers, then don’t.  You are the tank.  They can take it or leave it.  (As a side note, I’m at full mana because I’m a level 40-something with a mana pool about thiiiiiis big, so I regen what I use in a second – a.k.a., about the time I finish sassing you for pulling half the stuff in Janice Barov’s room.  Being right on the internet is OBVIOUSLY more important than your schedule.)

After all, if you won’t take the damage and the healer won’t heal it, they’re not likely to get very far.  And if they do, then hey – it’s EXP you didn’t have to work for!

RULE NUMBER SIX: IF YOU WANT TO KICK THEM, WELL, YOU PROBABLY CAN’T
If the annoyance they cause is not worth the EXP, then leave.  You’ll get another party because LOLZTANKQUEUEISAMAZING.  If Deserter status occurs, well, you just saved some brain cells and that’s good for you.

He Touched My HAIR!THAT'S IT.

He Touched My HAIR!
THAT’S IT.

RULE NUMBER SEVEN: ACT LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING
Almost nobody knows where to go in Dire Maul, anyway.

RULE NUMBER EIGHT: JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN CLAIM IT WAS AN ACCIDENT DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD
Positioning Instructor Chillheart so that your DPS is at imminent risk of Ice Wall death is considered cruel, even if you do find it enjoyable.

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Daschela’s Just Confused

Help Me Help You
So Daschela did some lowbie LFD runs as a healer, which proved to be a thoroughly confusing experience.  The first few parties were neither here nor there, and had a mostly run of the mill, “Hey hunter, here’s how to turn off your pet’s taunt” type feeling to them.  Unfortunately, Daschela then leveled up enough to enter Scarlet Monastery.  The new Scarlet Monastery is a dog-eat-dog-and-Scarlet-and-player world for a nooblet heals, especially if you zone in to a party that’s already started where the previous healer, for reasons unknown (though soon to become clear), jumped ship.

I’m sure you are familiar with that part where you grab an enormous archery target and proceed to run towards a huge pack of archers, led by what is arguably a miniboss/midboss/guy who failed to get promoted.  One must avoid the ever present threat of dying in a fire until you get within a certain range, whereupon you are swarmed and must down ’em all.  Well, that didn’t go so well for Daschela.

Folks couldn’t avoid the fire.  That happens, and Daschela had to toss off a few heals to keep said folks up.  That also happens, but the archers got pissed off at Daschela for doing that, and they swarmed her instead of the tank.  This happens too sometimes, and Daschela’s kind of squishy, so she had to spamheal herself while running after the tank.  Simultaneously, the rogue’s health started dropping FAST.  Wait, why the hell is Daschela running after the tank?

I’m cool with meeting in the middle, but the paladerp seemed to be content to stay on the far side of the field where we had started, ignoring poor Daschela’s seesawing HP.  Unfortunately, the moment spent trying to keep the rogue alive was a moment spent not keeping herself alive, and Daschela went down.  The inevitable wipe then occurred, and recriminations passed around.  The paladerp’s logic in running away and not pulling mobs off the healer was something like this: since he wasn’t getting any heals, he decided to pull some of the packs away.  To what?  For what?  Why not pull away some of the mobs tearing Daschela a new one?  The world will never know.

Help Me Help YouWhen people say pull the mobs away from the healer, they generally don't mean it like that.

Help Me Help You
When people say pull the mobs away from the healer, they generally don’t mean it like that.

Dear paladerp: ignoring the fact that you can heal yourself and others in times of necessity but apparently chose not to, let’s strike a bargain here – pull the crap off me and I’ll heal you.  Deal?   As you can see, another night elf DPS apparently had had it long before with the tank, but rather than initiating a vote kick, he decided to yell in all caps at him for awhile.  This is, of course, because tanks are hard to come by in comparison to everybody else.

Daschela felt really bad for the poor night elf rogue in the party, who kept dropping like a fly despite Daschela’s best attempts to keep her up.  She felt less bad about the tank, who died again when he pulled everything in the last room before the final boss (and then accused her of attacking and therefore shirking her healing duties, even though she only casts Moonfire or Faerie Fire which are kind of obvious and instant, and only when things are going well enough for her to select something other than the tank, which they weren’t).

“Maybe this is it for me,” Daschela thought.  “Perhaps I have reached the pinnacle of my healination skills.”  So she joined the next party as DPS.  Eff that healing business!  Apparently she can’t keep up anyway.

Or Can She?

Then, as luck would have it, the tank, the healer and one additional DPS wanted to continue and complete the rest of the Maraudon joint after killing Lord Vyletongue.  It seemed, however, that the healer and one of the deeps had underestimated just how dang long the place actually is, and so they disappeared after a few minutes.  Daschela, resisting the instinct to /facepalm, offered to heal while simultanteously apologizing ahead of time for the fail she felt would almost certainly happen.

A mage, a druid and a warrior walk into a bar ...

A mage, a druid and a warrior walk into a bar …

One underleveled warrior, one mage, and one seriously baffled druid then proceeded to three-man All Teh Things, including the bosses – with NO deaths.  None.  We lived through it all.  While Daschela’s got int leather heirlooms up the wazoo, the tank and sole DPS most certainly did not have heirlooms of any type.  Yet despite that, there were only a couple of hairy moments where things got a little scary.

If I suck at healing as much as the Scarlet Monastery fiasco led me to believe – how the hell did we live?

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK.

Dual Spec Personality
Having achieved level 30 and a dual spec, my summary of Boomkin is: OH MY GOD WHAT THE HENRY CLAY FRICK AM I DOING JEEBUS CRIPES!

First off, as a druid, I already feel like I have too many toolbars.  So then you add eclipses.  One general “Eclipse” category would’ve been good enough for me, but oh no – we’re BALANCE, right?  So we gotta have lunar AND solar sheeyit!  First the scale goes one way!  Then the scale goes the other!  What the hale am I doing?  I HAVE NO IDEA.  Apparently I gotta work it up one way or the other to get to shiny ignition and we have liftoff, but all I wanted to do was go pew pew pew!

NEED MOAR PEW PEW PEW, less shiny interface moon/sun thingies popping up on my screen kthx.

Pew Pew Pew