Tag Archives: monk

“Warning of the Bloodtusk” Set

"Warning of the Bloodtusk" Set

“Warning of the Bloodtusk” Set

Class: Monk, Druid, Rogue (without staff/polearm and/or waist)

H: Not shown | S: Bloodtusk Shoulderpads | Cl: Phantasmal Drape
Ch: Feral Harness | Wa: Red Belt of Unspoken Warning | L: Oilskin Leggings
G: Loramus’ Gloves | Wr: Not shown | B: Blighted Leather Footpads

Polearm: Grizzly Glaive

Status: Finished

Thoughts: Because trolls, mon!  Cal found these lovely (if you appreciate skulls) shoulders on the Isle of Thunder and sent them to me, so of course I had to make an outfit inspired by them.  It’s somewhat ironic, because I’m terrified to actually GO to Dailyland on Alexalis.  Her gear score is only 440-something!  SHE IS GONNA DIIIEEE.

Alexa last used the Feral Harness about, oh, maybe fifty or sixty levels ago, so I was surprised when I discovered it still sitting in the bank.  I was somewhat startled to find it at all – I must’ve blacked out all the memories of her wearing it, because those definitely are buckles on her bewbs and I normally don’t choose uncomfortable things like that.  I landed the pants on some long ago Uldaman run and promptly dumped them into the bank, where they remained until this Long Awaited Day™.  The shoes confused me by dropping on my first Halls of Reflection run for them, and the gloves merely required questing.  What was tough was the weapon … possibly made worse by the fact that OMG I can transmog staves and polearms together now yayayayayayay.  I actually had to go and make up my MIND!

First, I went with Flame Wrath, which I have never used but have been holding onto since the 50s.  Unfortunately, because monks position staves and polearms upside down on their backs, it looked like the weapon was about to set her butt on fire.  No good.  I don’t think Alexa would’ve been perturbed – just sew a new one on or something – but I just couldn’t stop thinking about how AWKWARD that would be.

So then I tried the Orca-Hunter’s Harpoon, thinking the bronzey accents might go.  It wasn’t BAD, exactly, but it wasn’t great either.

Next, I thought “TERROK’S QUILL!  That’s it!”  Then I remembered it had black on it, which wouldn’t be echoed anywhere else in the outfit.  Also, I discovered that I had already done the quest for it and gone with the mask reward instead.

After that, the Staff of the Plague Beast was clearly the answer, since it had red wrapping on a pointy handle.  Turned out the dragon’s head was too bright and distracting (LOLZ ORANGE).

At some point, Fel pointed out the Grizzly Glaive to me, and we rejoiced at finding something that 1.) had the red and the bronze from the shoulders, 2.) wasn’t TOO troll-like because we are talking Forsaken here, and 3.) didn’t look totally dumb upside down.  We mourned almost immediately, though, since we realized it was a random world drop.  My luck with that sort of thing is historically bad.

That said, I randomly chose to visit the AH one early morning and found it there for 50g, a real steal (especially when considering transmog prices on WRA these days).  DONE.

Becoming One With the Derp

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Let your worries flow from your body, and allow yourself to become one with the derp.

Or more accurately, level a DPS to 90 and then you’ll BE the derp, thanks to the amount of time spent traipsing around in Pandaland by your lonesome.  Blingtron being everywhere you go doesn’t faze you, but you’re startled when people actually say things out loud in the Shrine.  You’re jaded and you’ve lost your patience.  (I’m just telling you, those mother trucking hyenas were ASKING to die!  They should’ve just let me skin their buddy in peace!)  You wonder if that jerk of a questgiver really gave you all the quests he had, or if he’s just going to send you back to almost the same dang spot for something else.  Wait, were you there before?  You’re not sure anymore.  It’s all blending together … ding!  Level 90.  Clarity of derp achieved.

Some people craft gorgeous, useful jewels.  Some people engineer creative devices.I derp.

Some people craft gorgeous, useful jewels. Some people engineer creative devices.
I derp.

In all, Alexalis followed the same pattern established by my ninety million alts already in Pandaland:

The Pandarian JourneyI hear people quest in that Krasarangarang place.

The Pandarian Journey
I hear people quest in that Krasarangarang place.

  • Land in the Jade Forest.  Cue the pandas and Sha.
  • Leave the Jade Forest ASAP, because hozen.  Virmen take the stage.
  • At level 87, realize I can totally go to Kun-Lai Summit now and there’s a 24 SLOT BAG there! Hell yeah!
  • Decide to open up the Eternal Vale first in order to hearth at the shrine, since the return portal from Org is on the wrong side of Pandaland for pretty much any zone that isn’t the Jade Forest.  Bag tomorrow.
  • Get the bag from the quests.
  • Wonder what to do now that I’ve achieved my dream of increased storage space.
  • Quest aimlessly, shuffling from Townlong to Dread Wastes, depending on which seems the least agonizing at that exact moment in time.

During the course of 85 to 90, Alexalis encountered two rares, Sele’na and Lon the Bull.  She successfully defeated Sele’na, but lost to Lon.  She had the misfortune of meeting him exactly when everything ever in the area respawned, and that was just way too many mad cows at once.

Speaking of derping, I regularly catch myself referring to her spec as “Windwaker,” even though she’s used that spec for almost all of her 90 levels.  They’re totally similar, am I right?  Right?

Pigses.

Pigses.

Alexalis and Mr. WigglesThere may be a bit more suspicion in this relationship.

Alexalis and Mr. Wiggles
There may be a bit more suspicion in this relationship..

Decisionating

Flying baby pandas yay!  (Until the Forsaken DK kills them all because Forsaken DKs are generally cranky.)

Flying baby pandas yay!
(Until the Forsaken DK kills them all because Forsaken DKs are generally cranky.)

Putting aside Thermalix and Niremere for the moment (since they count as the mains for their respective factions), now that I think about it, I have four alts in Pandaland.  FOUR.  What am I doing!?  I need to pick one and level her to 90.  You know, “choosing,” that act of making a decision and following through on it?  Yeah, that thing.

Mechalis, the Level 88 Derp Death Knight

Pros: How do you fail at a Death Knight?  (AND you can totally control the ghost pandas in the Shado-pan Monastery!)  I like being the equivalent of a death knight rogue, kinda.  I prowl around the edges of a quest area, pretending I’m not wearing plate.  Then, when the target mob has made the foolish mistake of separating from the others, DEATH GRIP.  After totally killing whatever it is, I then meld back into the shadows, sort of.  It’s more like using a goblin’s natural height to hide behind her surroundings.

Cons: Because she dumped Inscription/herbing a long time ago and only recently picked up mining and blacksmithing, girlfriend can’t mine in Pandaland yet.  Questing past all those cursed Ghost Iron nodes is driving me NUTS.  Otherwise, I have a completely unproven, unfounded suspicion that in Pandaland, the more armor you wear, the harder crap hits you – because it can.  Therefore, I do not look forward to Townlong Steppes or the Dread Wastes.

Ailabeth, the Level 88 Shadow Priest

Pros: Her Shadow routine is something like this:  1.) Summon a mindsquid and have it terrorize anything small and helpless in the vicinity, like critters.  2.) Realize critters don’t give EXP.  3.) Identify a better victim.  4.) Cast Power Word: Shield.  5.) Nuke its brains out while laughing because it totally can’t do any darn thing about it.  Additionally, smirk at any nearby Sha and insult nearby Mogu just because.  6.) Repeat as desired.  How is that not awesome?

Cons: When mobs hit me, it ruins my Levitate.  I actually have to RECAST it!  /whatsupwiththat

Centina, the level 87 Arcane Mage

Pros: Portal hotness.  Actually, have I told you how much I love Crittermorphing all the butterflies in Valley of the Four Winds?  FLYING BABY PANDAS YAY!

Cons: I am a wimpy lazy pansy mage.  You’ll probably find Centina cowering in a hole somewhere, whimpering about how all the things hurt.  Unfortunately for me, standing in one spot and nuking the face off things only works when you’re in dungeons, and the DPS queue is, of course, slow.  (As a side note, I recently learned that I can’t actually say “Slow as molasses in January” anymore, because molasses in January actually moves at 35 MPH and WILL KILL YOU.  The more you know!)

Alexalis, the level 86 Windwakerwalker Monk

Pros: Super survivor, Pandaland style.  Independent and able to quest on her own without cowering in a hole somewhere, whimpering about how all the things hurt. Wields hugeass swords.  Touch of Death.  Rolling.  See that mob way over there?  Flying Serpent Kick TO THE FACE.

Cons:  Alexalis’ only profession is Skinning, mostly to supplement Bombelina’s leatherworking.  You see, once upon a time, I planned on Bombelina hitting 85 long before I even got around to making a monk.  But as it’s turned out, monk is fun and I am a really incompetent rogue, which makes rogue-ing less fun.  (Also, spending a the whole PUG pickpocketing or skinning things is not socially acceptable, which sucks.)  End result: Bombelina is still in the mid 70s and just hit the cusp of Cata leatherworking.  She’ll actually have to level to get further at some point.  Oops.  So basically, WTF DO I DO WITH ALL THIS EXOTIC LEATHER  ALEXALIS IS SENDING OMG NO BANK SPACE.

At this point, I’m leaning towards Ailabeth or Alexalis, because I enjoy playing those classes in a manner that actually approaches the approved rotation.  (My favorite part of mage-ing – running around in circles while casting Arcane Explosion – doesn’t do so well for the DPS.)  Ailabeth has an advantage in that she’s already 88 and hearthed at the Shrine in the Vale.  But swords, guys.  They tempt me.

Meanwhile, In Pandaland

So I regularly hear guildmates complain about their daily Shado-pan companions.Thermalix, of course, has better things to complain about.

So I regularly hear guildmates complain about their daily Shado-pan companions.
Thermalix, of course, has better things to complain about.

Having knocked the Tillers, Golden Lotus and Dominance Offensive off her list of reps to work on when she feels inclined to do so, Thermalix elected to start making friends with the Shado-pan.  Folks recommended going Klaxxi, but the bugs just don’t have awesome hats waiting for you at Exalted like the Shado-pan do.  Since I am incapable of doing all the dailies + running LFR + running everything ever all the time, I will never have enough Valor to purchase what I need.  Therefore, I’m going to work towards what I want, and what I want is a damn fancy ninja hat.

In other news, Alexalis hit level 85 and marched off to Pandaland to join Mechalis, Ailabeth and Centina, who have been chilling there at levels 88, 88 and 87, respectively.  (Having completed the Dynamic Duo achievement with Niremere, I just can’t seem to pick a third alt to raise to 90.)

While Alexalis was in the Jade Forest hating on the water sprites (the way they jump from one foot to the other is especially grating), I happened to notice something interesting.

Alexalis Takes PandalandDisregard the corpses in the corner.  OH I KILL MYSELF.

Alexalis Takes Pandaland
Disregard the corpses in the corner. OH I KILL MYSELF.

But look closer …

Alexalis Takes PandalandThat's the thing about this joint ... you  never want to look closer.

Alexalis Takes Pandaland
That’s the thing about this joint … you never want to look closer.

What are those sprites DOING?  Who knew that sprites were in an all out war with warlock imps?  Maybe one day, warlocks everywhere will wake up and discover that each and every last imp in the world has been squished into oblivion.  In a good world, that’d be the end of it.  In the strange twisted realm that I am sure these water sprites occupy, they would insist on becoming every warlock’s new best friend.

DECISIONS DECISIONSOr maybe ... BOTH.

DECISIONS DECISIONS
Or maybe … BOTH.

Why Goblins Should Be All The Things They Aren’t

PALADINS

  1. Let’s be frank here – we’re already priests, so it’s only a matter of time before we successfully bribe someone in the Church.
  2. Gold is light colored.  Therefore, it is a representation of the Light.  Therefore, we totally follow the Light.
  3. There’s no specific rule saying selfish basses can’t be paladins.  Look at all the blood elf paladins running around the place!

MONKS

  1. Even gnomes can be monks.  I mean, what’s up with that?  They’re so short, they barely have functional knees!
  2. We totally don’t care if it’s impossible to add monk trainers to the starting zone (and/or if Blizzard doesn’t want to).  Who uses trainers to actually train crap until dual spec at level 30 anyway?  We’ll be loooong off the islands by then.  It’s not like we can use Zen Pilgrimage to “cheat” and get outta the Isles early anyway, since you don’t learn that until level 20.
  3. We believe in self improvement.  Really!  If time is money, then I gotta do things faster and better, and that takes dedicated training.

DRUIDS

  1. We’re already green.  It’s just like being a shaman, but with more animal forms.  Right?
  2. Our animal forms would totally have bazookas and rockets and uzis attached.  Instead of our bear form using “Swipe,” we’d use “Nuke.”  You have to admit a rocketbeartank would be awesome.  Besides, all our explosive powder would be organic and locally sourced.
  3. We love nature and being natural.  It’s no coincidence that minerals are in the earth and money is in our souls.

Mixup Mashup Screenshot Post

You know that glyph where your party members can use your Stag form as a mount?  Daschela somewhat regrets letting Fel buy her that.  SHE STILL HAS HER DIGNITY, DAMMIT!

Negotiations Breakdown

Negotiations Breakdown
The Independent Druid Still Takes Bribes

I also had an unexpected conundrum in a LFD group.  I queued Daschela up as a healer, only to find that our tank was named something terrible!

I'M HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS GUYS

I’M HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS GUYS
Wait, let me pretend to RP as a night elf here. Ok, we’re good.

Speaking of Dungeon Finder, Alexalis was chatting with her party members on the challenges faced by Forsaken monks – specifically, how your toes might fall off when performing Spinning Crane Kick.  Then this conversation came about:

The Tailor of Punville

The Tailor of Punville

And lastly, Carmen wins again:

A Winner Is You!

A Winner Is You!
That’s right, Carmen doesn’t blink.

Another Day, Another LFD

When in dungeons, I sometimes /flirt shamelessly with blood elf men just to see what they’ll do about it, since I’m either playing a character who is short and green or who is dead and probably has a maggot infestation.  A couple have blushed, while some have flirted back and a ton have ignored me.  This one had a new response:

A League of His OwnHe's got a point.  Blood elf men have the most fabulous hair in game.

A League of His Own
He’s got a point. Blood elf men have the most fabulous hair in game.

Normally, I try to edit the names of others out before I post screenshots here.  Brewcelee, however, was so freaking awesome, you get to know his name and see his macros in all their punny glory:

Brewcelee Wins at Life

Brewcelee Wins at Life

And lastly, from a LFD run in the not so distant past:

Unexpectedly Deep Deeps in the Deep

Unexpectedly Deep Deeps in the Deep
By Neptulon, she’s right!