Tag Archives: niremere

Heal Me! Quickly!

By now, I have become dependent on the Vuhdo healing addon to a degree where I am almost paralyzed without it.  This has posed a challenge on a couple of occasions when LFR let me zone in while the group was in combat, because Vuhdo won’t load if you’re in combat.  It also won’t update the groups display properly if people leave or join during fighting.  It’ll wait, nice and polite, until you’re done with all that.  BUT PEOPLE ARE STANDING IN BAD, VUHDO!  I NEED YOU NOW!

Now With Extra Derp Sometimes, perceptions differ from reality.

Now With Extra Derp
Sometimes, perceptions differ from reality.

I still haven’t purchased a new mouse with Moar Buttonz.  I might, or I might not.  I generally try to pick out the eight or so most important spells and bind those to clicks, which keeps life simple and so far has worked out more or less OK.  I may not have finesse, but I generally get crap done.  Then again, who am I kidding here?  I’m not buying a new mouse when the old one clicks just fine.

This is my take on the different healing classes, based on the classes I remember healing on.  This is basically anything that’s not a Holy Priest or a Mistweaver monk.  While I technically ran Cata dungeons as Mistweaver, it was mostly to make the queue quicker and I can’t remember diddly squat about it now (other than camera angle problems).

Sometimes, You Just Die Cannonballs and people who want to live do not share the same goals.

Sometimes, You Just Die
Cannonballs and people who want to live do not share the same goals.

Bombelina Says:
As a Resto shaman, you get to wear mail, which means absolutely nothing because mobs will still mess you up.  You do have a chance to survive if you outheal the damage, of course, but that doesn’t mean you should give up on praying for the tank to pull it off you!  Oh, the tank is dead?  Never mind then.  Actually, you should just stop healing now.  Gawd, wipe it up already!

Shamans have lots of advantages, especially if you’re passive aggressive.  Our water-themed spells make it easy to pretend that you’re throwing buckets of water on idiots, or making a sad cloud rain on their heads.  If it’s Earth Shield, you can say you’re throwing dirt on ’em for good luck!  Oh, you wanted like, actual advantages?  Well, goblin totems are seriously the coolest thing since I invented the mechanized sandwich maker on wheels – what, you wanted non-goblin, general type of advantages?  You gotta be SPECIFIC about these things.

Okay, fine.  The BEST thing is being able to Reincarnate after you stand in something, and Mana Tide totem gives you precious, precious mana.  You can summon these elementals to help you out, which is neat.  And you can turn into … a man-thing?  What is that thing, anyway?  Well, you can turn into a Ghost Wolf too, and run fast indoors.  That’s some hot stuff right there.  And you can’t forget Bloodlust, or “Hero,” as the Alliance call it.  You can always tell what faction somebody plays on a regular basis by which one they ask for.

The disadvantage would be the fact that people keep on thinking you got a battle res for some reason, which is cracked.

Legalese Before we zone into the raid, please sign on the dotted line.

Legalese
Before we zone into the raid, please sign on the dotted line.

Prinnie Says: BEST.  CAN BE GOBLIN.  A+.  Shamans are nice in general because Elemental is a DPS spec I don’t suck 100% at.  More importantly, resto shaman doesn’t have like, sixty million healing spells with extremely similar names that I must both distinguish between and use every last one of in order to be effective, which is a HUGE PLUS.  Sadly, I often feel like Riptide is kinda laughable and mostly pointless as a HoT, and unlike a disco priest, attempting to do a wee bit of DPS while resto takes forever and is not happening.  ALAS.  I guess you can’t have it all.

Old Ladies Raiding Guild Don't be fooled by the name, gentlemen, we're open to all!

Old Ladies Raiding Guild
Don’t be fooled by the name, gentlemen, we’re open to all!

Niremere Says:
Should you choose to follow the way of the Light, you will be practically invincible – or so they say.  Do keep in mind that Fate likes to mess with you too, just as much as anybody else.

As we gain Holy Power in our work, so too do our special healing abilities increase in strength.  You must know when to save these holy energies, and yet, you must also be aware that to keep them to yourself accomplishes nothing.  Sadly, mana is a finite resource … but fortunately, we are able to plead with the Divine Light to restore our weary souls.

Done correctly, the Holy Paladin is a healer to be reckoned with.  Done incorrectly, you will regret the plate repair bills.

Prinnie Says: This one is good for shiny buttons.  Even better, you make this big light healy-thing that’s kinda hard to ignore AND you don’t have to get people to stand still in it, which is nice.  This is true even though I’m total crap at screenshotting it, which is why there’s a nice group shot instead!  The biggest problem I got is remembering to use Bacon Beacon of Light, which resets every freaking time you/somebody zones/dies/coughs/whatever.  And the other problem I have is that Horde paladerps can only be blood elves (annoying) or Tauren (have like, three hairdos max).

Let's Be Honest Here Tell me, how do you REALLY feel about your healer?

Let’s Be Honest Here
Tell me, how do you REALLY feel about your healer?

Betheki Says:
Yeah mon!  Follow tha way of the wild, be a Resto druid!  So dere’s dis mushroom ya glyph, and it is da best ting evah, which means it’s gonna get nerfed soon.  So enjoy da magic while it lasts!  Othah than that, mon, just cast Rejuvenate and then sit back.  Relax, ‘cept if there’s trouble.  In dat case, ya gotta make your mushroom bloom!  Don’t ask me if fungus should be bloomin’, mon.  I don’t be knowin’ dat.

When ya be a druid, ya know the skin you in is just one of many.  Fly free, mon, don’t be needin’ those fancy mounts to see tha sky.  Be wise, like a tree of long life, knowin’ dat dese roots, dey grow deep.  Stand strong in da storm!  And when ya be a druid, ya be in tune with tha natural way.  Ya get a fancy battle res.  Sadly, mon, dis one battle res ain’t never enough.  Just like in nature, where da need for tings is greater than tha supply, ya will find people keep on dyin’ all ovah da place, and they be beggin’ you for that res – but ya used it up already!

Prinnie Says:  Are you KIDDING me??  Placing a mushroom has no mana cost!?  BUT THAT’S LIKE … THAT’S … THAT’S LIKE ACTUAL FREE HEALS!!1!  Also related: multiple treants thanks to Force of Nature means I can make lots of pretty Venn diagrams.  (p.s., typing in troll is hard.)

The Harsh Truth Ain't gonna sugarcoat it.

The Harsh Truth
Ain’t gonna sugarcoat it.

Ailabeth Says:
Don’t look at me, breather.  I haven’t seriously healed as a Disc priest in well over a year.

Prinnie Says: I’m not surprised.  I’ll ask Splattini.

Prone to GREATNESS Splattini doesn't have a lot of flattering screenshots.  She doesn't let that stop her.

Prone to GREATNESS
Splattini doesn’t have a lot of flattering screenshots. She doesn’t let that stop her.

Splattini Says:
“The Great” Splattini, if you please.

Prinnie Says: For the love of … you’re only level 60!  You can’t have an attitude.

Splattini Says:
Then I’m not saying a word about how to disco.

Prinnie Says: …

The Great Splattini Says:
Sparkles, check.  Wings, check.  Bubbles everywhere, check.  Out DPSing the DPS, check.  I may be level 60, but I am a level 60 badass.

She Ain't Gonna Take It Oh no, she ain't gonna take it.  /rolls up sleeves

She Ain’t Gonna Take It
Oh no, she ain’t gonna take it. /rolls up sleeves

Prinnie Says: Just wait until you hit 90, kid.  I’m sure it’ll all go to hell.  Usually does.

The Great Splattini Says:
Look, your post-leveling issues mean nothing to me.  Did I mention Mass Dispel?  ’cause I got it, and you know you want it.  Oh, p.s., with Levitate, we’re gettin’ this party started.

Prinnie Says: Okay, so I haven’t hit the late 80s/level 90 “OMFG MANA” crunch yet, and really, until you start LFRing/raiding/encountering crazies, most LFD groups couldn’t care less WHAT class you are as long as they never die.  So although I’m told that Disco is better as a tank healer (which makes the notion of trying to heal 25-man LFR kinda … ominous), Disco seems pretty awesome right now.  Holy seemed like it had too many freaking things going on.  Either way, it’s important to know that as a priest, you can do this:

Step one: Rime of the A.M.  Step two: become lizard.  Step three: use Archangel.  GLOWING PINK PIRATE LIZARD ANGEL THING.

Step one: Rime of the A.M. Step two: become lizard. Step three: use Archangel. GLOWING PINK PIRATE LIZARD ANGEL THING.

Prinnie Says: Regardless of class, some things are just beyond your capability to remedy.

Wat Is he speaking in tank code or something?

I Just Wat
On second thought, don’t wanna know.

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“Wings of Heaven” Set

"Wings of Heaven" Set

“Wings of Heaven” Set

Class: Paladin (Shield as shown requires Alliance)

H: Savage Gladiator’s Ornamented Headcover | S: Chilled Shoulderplates | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Breastplate of Winged Triumph | Wa: Magroth’s Meditative Cincture | L: Not shown
G: Savage Gladiator’s Ornamented Gloves | Wr: Not shown | B: Glintrok Sollerets

Shield: Skyguardian’s Shield
1h Mace: Mace of Transformed Bone

Status: Finished

Thoughts: So Niremere’s been enjoying a renaissance of sorts since I switched from Ret to Holy; the new spec gives me A CRAPTON OF SHINY BUTTONS that sparkle and stuff when they proc and say USE ME!  Lord knows I like having shiny buttons to press regardless of whether or not the spell in question is even useful.  As her gear has improved (NO MORE HEROIC DUNGEON WEAPON THANK GAWD YAY), she’s been having fewer mana issues over all – though long, damage heavy fights like the Fallen Protectors still pose a challenge for me in terms of mana management.  (Is Divine Plea off cooldown yet?  Is it now?  How about now?  Anytime soon?  How do we not have any shamans in this LFR?  Oooh a druid, can I get an Innervate?  Hello?)  I even glyphed Lay on Hands to give 10% mana back when used … but I’ve realized that 10% isn’t actually all that much.  /sadface

But still!  Shiny buttons!  When I want to smash my way though an old school transmog run, I use Protection and am happy.  Then when I want to actually interact with people, I go Holy.

Nir’s been damn lucky with loot, and is currently the only gal I’ve got who has the tier chest from LFR.  When I turned it in, I was most pleasantly surprised to discover that unlike a lot of LFR sets (the shaman’s LFR Firebird look or the paladin’s LFR Lightning Emperor getup, for example), the paladin one is not nuclear snot green!  In fact, it was actually ATTRACTIVE.  The color scheme even made SENSE for an Alliance paladin!  My mind, it was boggled!

So of course I had to mog something around it, amirite?

Holy Kleenex, Batman! It Was Right Under Our Nose, and We Blew It!

Niremere has long been Retribution/Protection.  Of those two, Protection was my favorite – prance in, throw shield, smash things, dance out!  For the Light yay!  I did, however, chicken out big time when it came to tanking LFR, and I went back to Retribution.  I didn’t exactly LIKE Retribution, but I didn’t really HATE it either, and maybe gear would make it better?

We're More Laid Back Here Downright relaxed, even.

We’re More Laid Back Here
Downright relaxed, even.

I decided to keep on Retting it up after the patch to see if the 5.4 changes made any positive difference for me.  Alas, patch changes or no, I still don’t get Retribution and I just can’t seem to have fun with it.  Sure, Inquisition lasts for a whole freaking minute now (OH BOY DON’T I FEEL SPECIAL), but I still don’t like having to expend Holy Power to keep it up.  Nope.  Nobody need expect the Spanish Inquisition here, because it ain’t happening.

Sure, I Can See My Hands Owait, no, because they're in front of me and my camera angle's from behind.

Sure, I Can See My Hands
Owait, no, because they’re in front of me and my camera angle’s from behind.

Inquisition doesn’t even LOOK cool.  Sure, it gives me glowy hands, but I can’t even see my freaking self in combat half the time, let alone my dainty little hands!  I hit like a tired poodle and I am not feeling the two-handed weapon love, because I still love shields and that’s not changing dammit.  I can only cast like two Flash of Lights before running out of mana (I can’t use Word of Glory for healing somebody, silly, I gotta use that Holy Power for Templar’s Verdict Inquisition I don’t even know anymore) and I can’t offtank worth crap, so there’s no running in and saving the day all dramatic-like in emergencies.*  There’s only repairs.  And being boring.  And feeling like I’m fighting in neck-deep mud.

WELP THAT WENT WELL Tank died.  Tried to pull the Celestial Protector off a healer.  Got eaten.  Celestial Protector then had a nice, priestly dessert.

WELP THAT WENT WELL
Tank died. Tried to pull the Celestial Protector off a healer. Got eaten. Celestial Protector then had a nice, priestly dessert.

Despite that, I kept dragging Niremere through Throne of Thunder LFR, and she wound up with some shiny tier tokens!  I was then regretting exchanging them for Retribution gear (even though I hadn’t actually done that yet), when this conversation more or less occurred:

Me: I know I should use them for Ret … theoretically, a set bonus would help …
Friend: Wait, use them for the spec you hate?
Me: Yesssssssssssssssssssssssss.  Because I shouuuullddddd.
Friend: That’s stupid.  I don’t even know why you play a spec you hate.

Suddenly, I didn’t know why either.  I gave the spec a chance, really!  It just never took.  Niremere has been in Ret spec for the better part of 80 out of 90 levels, aside from tanking sprees here and there.  To continue this way was like bashing my head into a brick wall in the hopes of developing some sort of brain injury that might possibly change my personality, which in turn could possibly make me like Retribution.  It clearly wasn’t working out, if only because I have a really thick skull.

So I decided to commence PROJECT “I DON’T KNOW IF I LIKE HOLY, BUT IT ISN’T RET SO THERE.”

First step was to get gear, because nobody wants to run into an instance naked.  Accordingly, I ran all the LFRs ever, then died my way around the Timeless Isle looking for chests, and finally I bought PvP crap off the AH to fill in the holes.  (I have a new protip for the loading screens: “Warning! The Timeless Isle hurts like mother trucking HELL if you are undergeared!”)

Unfortunately, I am forced to neglect the “finishing touches,” as it were.  Since Nir’s gear rocketed up so quickly (we’re talking like twenty item levels), I can’t afford to fully reforge/enchant/gem it.  She’s reforged and mostly gemmed at this point, though there is no way in hell I’m enchanting that wep from a heroic dungeon whether I can afford to or not.

Once she had something to wear, Nir ran to the nearest Paladin trainer and gave him gold.  It was then time to HEAL ALL THE THINGS.  Kinda.

The worst thing about starting healing with a new class at level 90 is that you are stricken with a general feeling of “oh my GAWD, all the things wat the hell is going on,” which can’t be helped except through exposure to the spec and the diligent application of effort.  (True understanding comes even later.)  And aside from reading a guide to get an idea of what you should be doing, your only real option is to literally click the buttons to see for yourself what they do.

Turns out that not only is it really hard to figure crap out when you have all the things to learn all at once, it’s ESPECIALLY hard to do when they’re almost all named “Holy” Somethingorother.  I CAN’T REMEMBER WHICH HOLY DOES WHAT HEALING THING.  I actually had to write notes down.  NOTES.  TO PLAY A GAME.  (L-shift click, Light of Dawn, HP click, multi target!)

The only other classes I’ve healed extensively on in recent memory, shaman and druid, don’t really have an equivalent to Holy Power that they have to build up in order to spend. As a result, I spent a fair amount of time freaking out about dropping HP clicking on buttons furiously while wondering why nothing was happening.  I would subsequently (and usually abruptly) realize that I had no Holy Power and this particular Holy thing needed it, therefore, fail.  I actually do have the bright red status text on my screen for things like “Not enough Holy Power.”  I just never read it.

Feeling somewhat overwhelmed, I made a little dwarf paladin with the idea of “learning from the ground up.”  But somewhere around level 3, I decided that the effort required to learn crap from scratch at level 90 was probably going to be less than the effort required to level from 1 to 90, so she got left somewhere in the snowy wilds outside Ironforge.  I haven’t deleted the character, though, because people on my friends list had a fit were extremely confused when they saw me playing a female dwarf.  Maybe I’ll surprise them again later!

So I grabbed a beartank friend with good gear (he assured me that with his self heal, he could solo heroics) and off we went into LFD land.  I warned him to be prepared.  I warned him I had no clue what all the buttons did, and also that my keybinds were all freaked up, and finally that I still had to set up Vuhdo properly and whatnot, so be careful!  Did I get said beartank killed?  YEP.  YOU BETCHA.

The next morning I queued randomly by myself, which ended up being embarrassing as well.  I got caught red-handed with Righteous Fury still on from a failed-ret-tanking episode the night before (see * at end, again).  Ugh!  It’s like the hunter who leaves Aspect of the Pack on for the whole fight (which I have NEVER done, nope, believe you me, 100% truth telling here).  Fortunately the party was quite helpful and gave me a number of tips, and there was a shaman who covered for my general ineptitude (in addition to pointing out that whole Righteous Fury thing).

Now THAT'S the Skill for Me Proposed Paladin revamp makes Beacon of Light into something even BETTER.

Now THAT’S the Skill for Me
Proposed Paladin revamp makes Beacon of Light into something even BETTER.

Later that day, I felt I at least had the basics down because people weren’t dying anymore in heroics.  When looking at the Raid Finder to see if there were any LFRs I missed, I realized that Nir had the gearscore to queue for SoO … hmmm.

Crazy?  Hell yes.  Still, it seemed like a slightly less crazypants idea than learning how to paladerp heal via PvP, which was Goa’s suggestion, so I queued up for it.  It was definitely an enlightening experience.  It turns out that not only do I need to know buttons, but I also have to relearn mana management, blah.  Electrika has almost zero mana issues at present because of gear, Water Shield, Mana Tide totem and the Telluric Currents glyph (which returns a bit of mana if you use Lightning Bolt).  Betheki (the druid) is at level 80, which is too high to have the noob type of mana issues, but too low to have LFR “holy crap, please kill it before it ‘zerks” kind of mana issues.

So yeah, who spent practically all of the Fallen Protectors fight using only Holy Shock and Light of Dawn?  That would be meeeeee. While I am more than perfectly happy to coast when it comes to DPS (heeeey we got like, six people doing 200k?  SWEET), I feel immense guilt when it comes to coasting on heals.  I almost left the group three or four times because I felt my heals were too low to justify my presence.  I wound up staying anyway because there was an amazing shaman who covered for me and at least one other healer as well.  Overgeared?  Overachiever?  Don’t know, but he was the key to Nir getting the first gear token from this tier.  (I am overjoyed that the paladin LFR color scheme does NOT involve nuclear snot green.)

* So let me tell you about the last time Nir was fighting Will of the Emperor, a.k.a. Jan-xi and Qin-xi. As you no doubt know by now if you are a regular LFRer, adds and bosses spawn on the far side of the room, opposite where the entrance is.  The idea is to drag the bosses from that end back over to the other, positioning them near the two separate staircases that the raid entered the fight area with.  One boss per set of stairs, easy!

In this particular LFR, we had a tank who wasn’t quite clear on what to do other than “get aggro.”  He grabbed his boss, yes, but then he stood with it at the back of the room, which is bad.  It exposes the DPS to unnecessary heavy damage (which in turn stresses healers), and it’s not like the DPS can go somewhere else to avoid it – adds continually spawn back there for the duration of the fight.  Everybody yelled at him but he went nowhere with the boss, so I whispered him and told him to go up front by the stairs, which he did – sorta.  He pulled it to the same staircase that the other tank/boss was at, which elicited further shouts of dismay from the LFR.  I kept on whispering him, telling him where the second staircase was, and he WAS trying to listen.  It’s just that he dragged his boss over about halfway, which is ALSO bad, because that puts the boss right on top of the healers.

So finally I put on Righteous Fury, used Reckoning twice, and ran like a bat outta hell for the right set of stairs.  Defensive bubbles?  If only I had realized just how squishy I am despite the freaking plate, I would’ve used one.  I took 1.5 hits and was DOWN.  But hey, since my corpse was apparently much easier to see than my living self, the tank finally got the boss to the right spot and we didn’t wipe.  Hooray!

Prepatch Roundup

Electrika Goldwasher, Who Would Heal You With Lava

Electrika Goldwasher, Who Would Heal You With Lava

Electrika
Gearscore: 514 (elemental) / 507 (restoration)
Quote: “OGOD WTF THE DAMAGE, IT HURTS”

  • Became the main for two reasons: OMFG LAVA YES HAHAHA and a second spec that actually does something other than more DPS.  Did I mention lava?  I need to point out lava again.  You know, that whole versatility thing.
  • Electrika will NEVER have enough valor, EVER.
  • Has no Lesser Charms/Mogu Runes of Fate of this writing and probably won’t by the time the patch rolls around, either.  /pro
  • Electrika has the current tier’s 4 piece set bonus on her elemental outfit – the first such thing for me in my entire WoW career.  FOUR WHOLE PIECES ERMAGERD.
  • Needs to freaking finish jewelcrafting.  She’s currently in Cata stuff, but I just.  Can’t.  Seem.  To take the last step.
  • I’ve discovered something that hurts more than Durumu’s purple bullsheeyit, and that is heroic Jin’Rokh’s dance party of death, featuring lightning orbs that … well, really hurt.
  • While the guild will be starting progression as soon as the Siege of Orgrimmar opens, it remains to be seen if Electrika will be present (being backup and all).
  • Will be the first of my characters to faceplant into the new content.
Thermalix Spendtrue, Professional Facepuller

Thermalix Spendtrue, Professional Facepuller

Thermalix
Gearscore: 506 (for all the specs because all she does is shoot things)
Quote: “How many colors does that come in?”

  • Hasn’t seen much action since she got a ToT LFR gun (her life’s goal is now complete) and Electrika became the main (Sorry Therm, bandaging people doesn’t count as healing), therefore she needs to relearn the finer points of Survival and Beast Mastery
  • Wants to tame the red version of Portent, as she has the purple, blue and green ones.
  • Needs to fill up her shiny new stable slots.
  • Wants to start a campaign for having a hunter-tamable murderaffe in game, as well as a petition of some sort for making a sha-snail the next big raid boss.
  • At some point, should begin and progress in the Brawler’s Guild.
Mechalis, Fast as a Rock With No Momentum!

Mechalis, Fast as a Rock With No Momentum!

Mechalis
Gearscore: 476
Quote: “WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

  • So Mechalis, being a Death Knight, has become my only Horde platewearer and thus has been given all the non class-specific plate transmogs originally planned for the deleted paladin.  Accordingly, she’s been running Black Temple with two monks, which has been surprisingly painful.  It’s not the damage that’s the problem.  It’s just that monks can move like they’re on a sugar high, and Mech can’t.  She spends all her time running after them, following the trail of dead bodies they leave behind!  Still, she can’t object to her primary role being looter-in-chief.
  • Wants to go to ICC for transmog gear, like just about every DK ever.  Can’t survive on her own, however, despite the reputation Death Knights have for being practically immortal.
Esplodine, Beauty Queen Most enchanting, least competent enchanter ever.

Esplodine, Beauty Queen
Most enchanting, least competent enchanter ever.

Esplodine
Gearscore: 471
Quote: “Seriously, who needs 4k for flying now!?  This is ridiculous.  You need HOW MUCH for that enchant!?  Gawd, I need to get that recipe some day.”

  • Somehow, the poor girl became the AH mastermind for my Hordeside characters.  Esplodine has a tendency to viciously undercut anyone on anything, because she gets sent ALL the things my other characters pick up, and she just wants to get rid of it all.  Right now.  Also, your high price on those ugly low level gloves is stupid.
  • Needs to sell those Darkspear tokens … now’s the time!  Also the last chance.
  • Needs to run LFR for enchanting mats.
  • Must befriend the Shado-pan and August Celestials for enchanting/tailoring recipe crap.  Or was that rep requirement getting removed?  Can’t remember.  Got the spellthread from the Golden Lotus, so all is well on that front at least.
Ignitine the Ebil Will Nuke All the Things

Ignitine the Ebil Will Nuke All the Things

Ignitine
Gearscore: N/A
Quote: “You made the shaman after me, so why am I still in Northrend?”

  • Needs to get to 80+ for transmog purposes.
  • Will not be choosing the Grimoire of Supremacy at 75 after all, because I find the sounds the Observer makes highly annoying.
Bombelina Likes Things Including fancy shoulders, lockboxes and not taking damage.

Bombelina Likes Things Including fancy shoulders, lockboxes and not taking damage.

Bombelina
Gearscore: N/A
Quote: “I’m working on it!”

  • Needs to freaking level or something, as it seems like she’s been 80 forever.  All the Ghost Iron lockboxes get sent to Mech, since she can craft keys and Bombelina’s too low to open them.  A maxed leatherworker would be nice, too.
  • Too embarrassed to use LFD with Bombelina.  My DPS is THAT BAD.
Alexalis Wishes Fist Weapons Would Drop in Pairs

Alexalis Wishes Fist Weapons Would Drop in Pairs

Alexalis
Gearscore: 463
Quote: “Wow, did I just see what I think I just saw?”

  • Alexa has to run LFR for gear.  Most important would be another fist weapon/one hander, because she currently has two hands but only one LFR weapon.  Problem!
  • Needs to get the belt for her mog set.  Seriously, it’s the last dang piece.
Ailabeth Blisswell.  Mind Control coming soon to a brain near you.

Ailabeth Blisswell. Mind Control coming soon to a brain near you.

Ailabeth
Gearscore: 444 (that’s a palindrome!)
Quote: “I can only do the Living Steel transmute for one of you two …”

  • Can be found hanging around mailboxes in the Shrine, making flasks for Electrika from herbs that Electrika provided.  Sometimes does Living Steel/Trillium transmutes for Thermalix or others.
  • Needs to get the dagger for her mog set.  Seriously, it’s the last dang piece.
  • Maybe get to 460 gearscore.
Betheki says, "Resto is easy!  Until you screw it up!"

Betheki says, “Resto is easy! Until you screw it up!”

Betheki
Gearscore: N/A
Quote: “NO! DON’T PULL ALL THE VRYKU…. sigh.  Yes yes, I know, I suck as a healer.”

  • Betheki is currently at that awkward stage where LFD dumps you in Utgarde Keep an awful lot, as well as that slightly painful stage where you feel all competent to start with, but then you realize that you’re using the entirely wrong spells because OMFG SHAMAN HABITS CRAP WE’RE DEAD.
  • Wishes tanks wouldn’t pull all the vrykul in the first little hallway of the Keep so she can take a moment to remember what to do other than “Cast Rejuvenation.”  But they never do, so she uses the wrong spell too slowly anyway, and everybody dies.
  • Thinking about switching her alt spec back to boomkin.  If shaman got better around the 70s, maybe boomkin will too?  I can’t do feral (too much like rogue), so it may be her only choice for her DPS alt spec.
Niremere Lane of the Noodlearms

Niremere Lane of the Noodlearms

Niremere
Gearscore: 482
Quote: “My repair bill is more than the gold I got from that …”

  • I hit like a puffball and take more damage than a tissue in the hands of someone with a sinus infection.  On the plus side, her noodle arms are now hitting for like, 50k!  Yay!
  • Got to the 480s at the request of Ty, who wanted to run heroic scenarios Alliance-side.
  • SOME DAY, THAT PLATE CHEST FROM SSC WILL DROP, I SWEAR.
  • Keeping up with content tied reps (like Operation: Shieldwall) has become increasingly difficult for Niremere, because I ran out of time I rely heavily on decent gear to help me compensate for how I can’t ret.  The problem with this strategy: as Nir has gotten farther behind on both rep/LFR and content, she has also gotten behind on gearing to the point where continuing in current stuff kinda sucks.  She still hasn’t finished the solo instances that open up the different parts of the Isle of Thunder (though I haven’t started those again since hitting 480).
Daschela Tel, in a mog she does not yet have

Daschela Tel, in a mog she does not yet have

Daschela
Gearscore: N/A
Quote: “Look, just because I have heirlooms doesn’t make me rich.  My money-making 90s are of the OPPOSITE FACTION.”  (Ok, so she said it a little less politely.)

  • I want to get Daschela to 90 so she can take over content/progression-tied reps for Nire, and also because I enjoy ranged more than melee.  Enjoyment is necessary when going through LFR!  (There ARE times when you just gotta smash crap in the face with a sword.  Still, I generally prefer being far, far away from potential ouch over mauling something up close and personal.  Preserving the sanctity of my hide is priority #1!)
  • I got several (some faction-specific) transmog plans in mind that look great on Draenei, though not so much on goblins, due to the way proportions of items change.  Must.  Complete.  Mog.  Sets.

Have you ever wondered what happens when ModelViewer screws up and you see all the possible hairdos and all the possible facial features, all at once?  No? Well, I’m here to give you nightmares, because it looks like this:

...uh, wow, can't unsee

…uh, wow, can’t unsee

[Edit: oops, hit publish before I added all the images.  WORK IN PROGRESS HERE, people.]

Some Things Never Get Old

Some folks have been bugging me to spend more time Alliance-side.  At the same time, the dedicated Horde players that I know have either been threatening to assassinate my poor lowbie spacegoat or stalk my paladerp if I do.  Ah, faction conflict!  Shows up even at the Friends List level.

As far as I’m concerned, playing Alliance-side more frequently has several issues (not including any charges of favoritism on the part of the game designers):

  1. No goblins.  Goblins would have made the best cross-faction race, not pandas, since we’re loyal to the wallet first and foremost, and our competing cartels would work right into the faction divide.  But it’s a bit late to go back and change that design call, I suppose.
  2. Gnomes are not goblins.  Let me repeat that: GNOMES ARE NOT GOBLINS.
  3. After so long being short and green or arthritic and rotting, it feels downright unnatural to play a character that has a pulse and is considered sexually attractive.
  4. They don’t label the damn docks down at Stormwind Harbor or tell you what boat goes where, so I’m always wondering if I’m getting on the right boat, or waiting at a dock that’s just there for show.
  5. The game designers flipped the sides the bank and portals are on in the Alliance’s Vale shrine.  I’m ALWAYS going to the wrong side.  ALWAYS.

There are some advantages, though.

So Tall, So Weird I fear no puddle.  Which is good, because I don't have Rocket Jump.

So Tall, So Weird
I fear no puddle. Which is good, because I don’t have Rocket Jump.

  1. I’m tall!
  2. I don’t have to swim to clear puddles or shallow bodies of water.

Despite the cons clearly outweighing the pros, I have been spending time on Niremere and Daschela anyway.  What’re friends for, right, if not confusing you with their unpredictable stature and getting you killed on a regular basis?  Daschela’s still leveling, of course:

Feign Death at Skill Levels 1, 2 and 3 1: Elevis, my pet, has failed to Feign.  (Why can't pets Feign?) 2: Daschela Feigns fine. 3. Soc "Feigns" by hiding all his HP.

Feign Death at Skill Levels 1, 2 and 3
1: Elevis, my pet, has failed to Feign. (Why can’t pets Feign?)
2: Daschela Feigns fine.
3. Soc “Feigns” by hiding all his HP.

Things frequently go wrong in the classroom at Scholomance, so I’m ready at a moment’s notice to drop to the floor and wait for sheeyit to clear.  (And why can’t pets Feign along with their owners yet?  I mean seriously.)

On the 90’s side, Nir’s running been some LFR for gear:

Not My Fault Niremere.  Party leader, tank killer, raid wiper.

Not My Fault
Niremere. Party leader, tank killer, raid wiper.

When she’s not causing her beartank to plummet into the void, Nir has been having some semi-brilliant and mostly obvious ideas.  For example: using Vuhdo’s Buff Watch to tell when Inquisition is off!  Theoretically, she’ll hit a bit more like a dry noodle and less like a wet one now!

The Young and the Retless

Nope Nope Nope Nope Running scared!

Nope Nope Nope Nope
Running scared!

After going through the effort of getting Nir geared in heroic dungeon and Darkspear weekly tank plate, and then shelling out the precious gold to (mostly) enchant/gem her for that role, I have utterly and totally chickened out.  I concluded that I it was much safer to DPS my way into ToT, whereupon I will switch my loot specialization to Protection.  Once I acquire ToT tank plate, I will then requeue for Mogu’shan Vaults as a tank.  This will enable me to safely blame the healers for any fail because with my gear, I obviously know what I’m doing amirite?

The Best Part of Being Well Geared I have GOT to get in on this.

The Best Part of Being Well Geared
I have GOT to get in on this.

I think I’ve pointed out before that I suck at Retribution. It’s not a rotation that comes naturally to me, and keeping up Inquisition seems to be beyond my attention span, what with its maximum duration being thirty seconds.  Inquisition, I mean, not my attention span – that’s more like a minute.  It’s also beyond my willpower, because if I have three charges of Holy Power, I want to use Templar’s Verdict with that sheeyit!  Apparently they’re going to increase the duration of Inquisition (as seen on the 5.4 PTR), but it probably won’t solve my latter issue.

Honestly, this is one of the things that prevents me from really enjoying the paladin class.  I’d like to have a “helpful” spec (tanking) and a “loner” spec (theoretically, ret).  But because I can’t seem to master Retribution whatsoever, that means I can tank, or I can tank in terms of watching my performance be about as bad as possible even though I’m actually using skills.  (I’m talking 30k bad.)  Nir got very, very lucky with loot and rolls in Mogu’shan Vaults last week, landing a chest piece, Starshatter and legs.  So I am going to assume getting out of tank plate, reforging/gemming and the enormous size of a human female’s Starshatter will help my miserable performance.  Hope springs eternal!

Secretly, I’d also like 1handed Retribution to actually be a viable option, mostly because that would work better for Nir’s backstory (not like I ever RP, but somehow she has the longest and most complete one) and also because I like shields.  Alas, being so bad to start off with means that I really couldn’t make an effective argument for it.  No, I really do need the big smashy 2handers to compensate for incompetence.

The other day, the DPS queue for LFR was going to be at least a half hour, so I thought I’d go to the Barrens and kill some Commanders for resources and fun.  (I forgot that it’s not fun on melee, because of increased exposure to poison, fire and axes.)  Right after a series of deaths due to not being able to get out of poison fast enough, I accidentally got myself flagged for PvP by a careless tab target.  I died again right before the commander went down, of course.  Was it the commander or a player taking advantage of my distraction?  I will never know.

I knew I was flagged, so I waited until everyone had left to go fight the next Commander before I ressed.  Unfortunately, there was a Stealthed rogue I didn’t see, literally waiting just for me to come back to loot so she could stun me and rogue me in the back.  When I say just for me, I’m not being sarcastic – there was no other flagged Alliance in the area other than myself.  I felt so hopeless in Ret, I just stood there so it would be over more quickly.  That way I could run back AGAIN and try to loot the stupid resources AGAIN.  Then I flew to a hiding spot and remained there until the flag wore, but by then I didn’t feel like doing anything at all.

p.s., I also decided to DPS because tanking Elegon with two FPS seemed destined to be really, really awkward.  I’ve never fallen through the floor before, but they always say there’s a first time for everything.

There’s No Bard Here

Illidan Did It Better

Ok, So Illidan Did It Better

To tank, or not to tank, that is the question:
Whether ’tis Saner in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Dailies,
Or to lead Arms Warriors against some raid,

And by fighting end it: to die, to wipe
Still more; and by a wipe, to say we leave
The killer snails, and the thousand silly insults
That Flesh is heir to? ‘Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to AFK,

To AFK, perchance to bio; Aye, there’s the prob,
For in that AFK of death, some wipes may come,
Others falling through the quick vanishing floor,
Must give us pause. There’s the chance
That a Druid might cast a battle res:

For who would bear the Rolls and Scorns of RNG,
The eyeball’s maze, the queue’s very long wait,
The pulls of despised trolls, the healers’ delay,
The insolence of DPS, and the stacks
of Determination that the unworthy take,
When he himself might his end make
by running in Fire? Who would soldier on,
To grunt and sweat behind a weary shield,
But that the dread of some repetitious quest,
The rediscovered Objective, from whose reward
No good returns, troubles the soul,
And makes us rather bear those LFRs we have,
Than fly to tedium that we want none of.

Thus Hope for gear does make Raiders of us all,
And thus the Mechanics of the whole dang thing
Are glossed o’er, with the damage healed away,
And enterprises of great skill and effort,
In this regard their Coolness goes awry,
And loses the cachet of Raiding. Queue popped,
Does that guy have a tank spec? You, with thy threat
generation can take over.

———-

Healing LFR = OK!  Tanking LFR?  Still chickening out bad.

And yeah, no, I didn’t care that much about preserving syllable count.  I mean, I’m butchering this to heck and back already, so what does structure matter?  So far, I’ve destroyed Edgar Allen Poe and Shakespeare.  What poet or playwright is next!?