Tag Archives: pets

The Team of Winnarz Actually … Wins?

Over inertia, at least!

Once upon a time when Wow-kemonz were new, I started a level 1 team of three Prinnie-approved pets.  While you should keep in mind that my endorsement has absolutely nothing to do with special skills, pet battle theory or in fact much at all, my selection nonetheless successfully (and somewhat indiscriminately) slew opponents from the shores of Durotar to the forests of Pandaland.  I like to think it’s the power of Awesome in action.

TEAM OF WINNARZ TEAM OF WINNARZ TEAM OF WINNARZ

Still, pet battling did not become a top priority in my day to day doings.  It was more of an “oh look, I just happen to be in an area with opponents of the same level range!” kind of thing, or a “well crap, the DPS queue is going to take an hour” type survival mechanism.  So it was rather surprising when this recently happened:

Acheesements Twice as shiny because I wasn't paying attention beforehand.

Acheesements
Twice as shiny because I wasn’t paying attention beforehand.

Whoa.  You mean they’re like … maxed? 

Wait just a second.  AN IDEA IS PERCOLATING HERE.

Yes, at that precise moment, I had an epiphany.  I realized that leveling a crapton of pets to 25 is now no longer so huge an undertaking, as long as I pick pets that are, you know, closer to 25 than they are to 1.  BUT THEN AGAIN, I could also put a super lowbie pet into a WINNARZ battle convoy of sorts!  As long they survive A SINGLE FREAKING ROUND, they get EXP – why, any one of the Winnarz could then take over the actual job of viciously smacking my opponents.  (Like Crabcakes, for example.  He may be kinda slow, but he does not take sheeyit.)

But Gawd forbid I choose anything based on expectations of performance or useful skills.  Surely not!  That would be almost LOGICAL.

Ailabeth Does Not Care Not now.  Not later.  NEVER.

Standards?  Ailabeth Does Not Care
Not now. Not later. NEVER.

So now I am leveling MOAR.  I will get 400 unique pets!  I shall Safari all the continents!  I shall never attempt to level an undead and an elemental at the same time again!  Maybe I’ll even beat the Celestial Tournament WITH CHICKENS (highly unlikely but MIRACLES DO HAPPEN).  I will … I dunno, but I will.  You know, eventually.

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JurassACK Park? JurACKic Park?

Isle of OMG It's called "atmosphere," "the scene," or "the mood," and it sets the tone for the evening.  Here, it involves dinos with cannons.

Isle of OMG
It’s called “atmosphere,” “the scene,” or “the mood,” and it sets the tone for the evening. Here, it involves dinos with cannons.

Never, ever leave Therm alone on the Isle of Giants, not even for a minute.

Isle of OMG So bad for you, yet so tasty.

Isle of OMG
So bad for you, yet so tasty.

If she’s not paying attention and facepulling Primal Devilsaurs as a result, she’s doing other sorts of dum’ bass things.  For example: if she’s disguised thanks to an Intact Direhorn Hide and she’s using a Devilsaur as a pet, can other (non-tamed) Devilsaurs tell whether or not hers is One of Them?  I mean, he totally blends in and all!  This is where he’s FROM!  They’re totally family!

Isle of OMG EMERGENCY BAD TROUBLE HELP OW

Isle of OMG
EMERGENCY BAD TROUBLE HELP OW

Yes.  They can smell it, Therm.  They can smell you.

“Ironscale Beast” Set

"Ironscale Beast" Set

“Ironscale Beast” Set

Class: Hunter (with crossbow), Shaman

H: Mok’Nathal Beast-Mask | S: Retcher’s Shoulderpads | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Mail of the Geyser | Wa: Windchill Binding | L: Ironscale Leggings
G: Yak Gauntlets | Wr: Not shown | B: Greaves of the Earthbinder

Crossbow: Horrifying Horn Arbalest*

Status: Finished

Thoughts: A second take on the Mok’Nathal Beast-Mask (with the first being the “Wolf in the Mists” set), this one is even BETTER for hiding mud and blending in!  Speaking of blending in, Moonfang (formerly known as The Lone Hunter) started off as my active pet for this getup, since he coordinates quite well.  Before you ask, the answer is yes, actually, I often try to match my pets to my transmog.  I just as often fail because I tame things like hot pink snakes and monkeys in fezzes.  Getting back to the pet and transmog at hand, I DID discover a slight problem with the combo – Moonfang also coordinates extremely well with the environment and overall atmosphere of the Isle of Thunder.

I know he's around here somewhere ...He's just so dang hard to find sometimes.

I know he’s around here somewhere …
He’s just so dang hard to find sometimes.

I can’t see him unless he is RIGHT in front of my face.  As a ghost, he blends in so well, it’s like he was never even there.  I lose sight of him the moment I glance away at anything else.  If it weren’t for his little portrait hanging out below mine like always, I’d just assume he gave up on the afterlife on the spot and faded away.  (Sometimes, I feel the same.  I have HOW MANY dailies left on this one damn island?  Cruel world!  I’m just going to give up and Feign Death right here.  JUST LEAVE ME TO DIIIIEEEE!  /sob … No wait, on second thought, don’t.  COME BACK!)

So, even though he matches like a pro, the poor puppy gets switched out when I visit the new Isle of Dailies Daily Queen that place.  I bring out Valentine or Peep, simply because they are SO BRIGHT it’s pretty darn obvious where they are at all times, even if they’re tanking something at a distance from me.  Also, if Valentine can tank the Lich King, I don’t think he’ll have much of an issue with some guy who can only control thunder.  Just sayin’.

Anyway, this outfit would not work for a male character, since it relies on the fact that the top loses almost all of the pale gray-blue color scheme of the Sanctified Frostwitch set it actually belongs to and magically turns mostly brown IF you happen to have bewbs.  The gem/clasp/thing at the throat is all that remains of the original primary hue, and it’s so small it’s hardly noticeable.  Also, while guys do get the color, they don’t get to show the cleavage.  Sorry, guys.  I know some of you want to put your moobs out there, but this outfit will not do it for you.

* I almost tossed this when Pandaland came along.  But I realized that this bow is totally from Dragonsoul, and what are the chances that I’m going to waltz through that joint by myself anytime soon?

I picture it like this …

Hey Zonozz, nice to see ya again, old buddy.  You see this ultra-mega-super-gun with an item level of ninety billion?  No, Zon, nine thousand was so five patches ago.  And yeah, you dead now.  Ultralixion!  Wow, it’s been so long!  We’re really nine expansions in now, totally trufax.  And I know, I look way different!  I racechanged to the new race, the Raptorians.  They got this nice racial.  So anyway, lemme tell you about this gun I picked up in the alternate reality of Pandaland in space on a Sha-ship … you’ll get a better view if I show it to you.  Stand there.  Yeah, that’s good.

… but I totally don’t see it HAPPENING.

Many Dinos, Tame Them

New in Patch 5.2: Thermalix Spendtrue, DINOSAUR HUNTARD.

MISSION: DINOThere will be Direhorns.

MISSION: DINO
There will be Direhorns.

Well, that’s not exactly true.  Thermalix had the white Devilsaur from Un’goro Crater for a while back in the day, but they parted ways some time ago when Therm had to clear out some stable space for a monkey in a fez.  These days, Therm wanted one of those scarlet Direhorns, bigger than a Cadillac and redder than hell.  While they don’t come with all the bells and whistles any good goblin expects, Therm’s an engineer – she can handle that.

In any case, I’m getting ahead of myself.  Let’s return to the beginning of the 5.2 patch.

Thermalix’s first priority was obtaining the farm.  This was much easier than she had anticipated.  Given the amount of work involved in opening the place up to its full potential, she was expecting it to be handed over for only the most thankless of tasks.  Say, something like having to wine and dine all the Tillers all over again, or maybe offering bribes of hard-to-obtain items that ONLY drop from mushans which have been exposed to the Sha of Anger for five seconds or less, or even offing Yoon by orchestrating a mysterious Exploding Master Plow accident (much as she liked the panda, if he’s gotta go, he’s gotta go).  Farms are serious business, guys.  And plows OBVIOUSLY blow up all the time!  Everybody knows plow fatalities are common.  Fortunately for Yoon, however, Therm’s worries were unfounded.  Dude just walked off.

FOOL.  ENDLESS PROFIT IS MIIIIIINE!

Or maybe not, but a supply of carrots is.

Farm For The HordeI can plant four things at once now!  World of Harvest Mooncraft, amirite?

Farm For The Horde
I can plant four things at once now! World of Harvest Mooncraft, amirite?

Now, back to the thundar and dinos.

Thermalix arrived on the Isle of Thunder to find Lorthie* and the Sunreavers in need of assistance.  While they’re strong enough to create fancy magic invisibility domes that you can’t ride any type of mount in (this seems like an oversight somehow), they were having a problem with Mogu.  And dead things.  And trolls.  And Saurok.  You’d think we were having problems with EVERYTHING on this dang island … oh wait, actually, yeah, we are.

InvisibilityNothing to see here.

Invisibility
Nothing to see here.

Let me summarize this island for you: Blah blah blah dailies.  Also, lightning.

Now that we’re done with that useful and insightful description, it’s DINOTIME!  To the Land Before Time Jurassic Park Isle of Giants!

As it turns out, you need a fancy tome of learnin’ to know how to tame Direhorn-type dinos, even though you were totally able to tame Devilsaur-type dinos back in Un’goro Crater without having to get your Masters degree in Huntering.  While I say a dino is a dino, Blizzard either wanted to make some form of awesomesaur available to every hunter spec, or they simply wanted to use the word “Dinomancy.”

After careful CCing because OWW OMG WTF (apparently you aren’t supposed to fight the Dinomancers alone),  I was victorious.  It certainly helped that while Dinomancers do heal THEMSELVES, they don’t heal EACH OTHER.  Still, I don’t know how long it took, nor how many Dinomancers fell to my bow, mostly because I was too busy trying to grab some dang Dinomancers for myself.  There was a surprising amount of competition!  [Edit: It also helps not to pull all the dinosaurs ever, just sayin’.]

MISSION ACCOMPLISHEDWell, mostly, anyway.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well, mostly, anyway.

Truly, he is a magnificent creature.

Do you ever feel small and insignificant?Enormous, as any awesomesaur ought to be.

Do you ever feel small and insignificant?
Enormous, as any awesomesaur ought to be.

* I’ve got some campaign slogans for him!

LORTHIE FOR WARCHIEF 2013: HE WEARS THE PANTS IN THIS FACTION
LORTHIE FOR WARCHIEF 2013: ONLY ONE MAN IN THE HORDE HAS HAIR ENOUGH TO TAKE ON VARIAN WRYNN’S PONYTAIL

Secretly, I’d still vote for Sassy Hardwrench or Basic Campfire.

Guild Activity

Carmen, Champion of Valhalas!They apparently don't care that they've been pwned by a monkey in a fez.

All Hail Carmen, Champion of Valhalas!
They apparently don’t care that they’ve been pwned by a monkey in a fez.

Carmen, formerly a resident of the Swamp of Sorrows, made quite a splash in Valhalas the other day when I stopped by to help a guildmate out.  I suppose to the Vrykul, a defeat is a defeat, whether it came at the hands of another Vrykul or a monkey in a fez.

Guild Runs: This Is How We Do It

Guild Runs: This Is How We Do It

I begin to suspect that our guild rule is something like this: when all else fails, SHOOT FASTER.  If necessary, run back from the graveyard, but SHOOT MOAR FASTER.

It gets you there faster AND has the added bonus of being kinda funny.

It gets you there faster AND has the added bonus of being kinda funny.

Warlock … or lolock?

She tanks, she shoots, she scores!

I Solemnly Swear I am Up To No GoodI'm just not feeling motivated.

In which I have a fit and leave the party
I’m just not feeling motivated.

Ooooor not.

At first, I had a “OH NO YOU DIDN’T” impulse when the guy (blood elf, appropriately enough) said that and I was going to wage war.  I mean, I’m no good, but I’m not awful!  Then I realized that 1.) I’m way too lazy for that kind of futility, 2.) Uhhhh I think he’s pulling the boss OHGODWHY, and 3.) I’m a goblin on an RP realm so acting in self interest is completely in character.  Eff it!  I’m outta here.  Yeah, I quit the party, which is why the background for the text is different – I went back and screencapped it to make sure I actually read what I thought I read.  I did edit out a part where I was talking to my guild and saying something like, “a;sflkjas;lfkjas;lfkj if you want my pet to tank, TREAT IT LIKE A TANK.”

I don’t know about you, but I’m not exactly interested in sacrificing one hunter pet, one warlock pet  and one melee DPS to Xin the Weaponmaster just because our actual tank skipped out on the party when the tank trinket didn’t drop.  I am further inclined to sit on my ass if the above situation will then turn into me running around like hell and hoping to Gawd I get lucky, what with all the fancy weapon traps around and the fact that I’m probably the next one to get bludgeoned into oblivion.  I REALLY don’t feel like doing anything at all when I can just smell the “lol guiz I gotta go” that will surely come after the inevitable wipe.

Serpent Strike

So the raid team has a couple monks and a couple paladins, which means that the buffs I bring with my typical “raid respectable” pets – the spirit beast and the cat – get totally overridden by their buffs.  This left me wondering what the hale kind of pet would be most useful, since all my favorites were essentially redundant too (or kind of silly).  “Why,” I thought, “serpents are handy now, with the 10% increase to melee and ranged speed!  I’ll catch me one of those.”  Maybe I have a strange sense of humor or something, so I went and tamed this red/hot pink snake from Tanaris and named it Valentine.

I apparently haven’t been the only one with these kinds of buff related quandaries.

Hot Pink SnakeSeriously, never thought I'd see the day.

Hot Pink Snake
Seriously, never thought I’d see the day.

Though we’ve been pals for only a short time, we’ve already gone through quite a lot together.

Valentine Solos the Lich KingAnd then I, the huntard, failed him.

Valentine Solos the Lich King
And then I, the huntard, failed him.

With the patch making arcane wyrms tamable as serpents, I had half a mind to go tame the bright red Acroniss and joke that Valentine had “evolved,” possibly compensating for my incompetence, but every friggin’ time I went to the spawn site (and I went there a lot), there were ninety million huntards there!  Ninety million, I tell you.  Sometimes we lined up, sometimes we didn’t.  I’m okay with spending four hours sitting in a cave if I’m going to get rewarded for that effort in the form of the pet I wasted my time for, but I really don’t feel like waiting in line for ninety million hours to run the risk of having another huntard in close quarters try to tame it/kill it/whatever.

So I decided to go tame a white one instead.  After a quick fly-by, I determined I would need a way to lure the creature down into the 30 yard taming range, so I shot at it, since my regular shot is 10 yards longer.  Unfortunately, I’m level 90 and gemmed, which I didn’t think about, so I severely underestimated the amount of DPS I now do on poor, gray leveled creatures.

Shattered DreamsWhy am I remembering the time I shot that rare bird I wanted to tame in the face?  Oh yeah, because I shot the rare bird I wanted to tame in the face.

Shattered Dreams
Why am I remembering the time I shot that rare bird I wanted to tame in the face? Oh yeah, because I shot the rare bird I wanted to tame in the face.

/cough

Try two went better.  I studied the circles mobs made, and tested various points!  Perhaps in some convoluted form of justice, I tried dismounting and taming while in air, but you can’t Tame Beast while moving (since it’s channeled), and I discovered that falling to your death counts as moving.

In the end, I managed to perch myself on a pointy ice thing that I thought might be juuuuuuuuuust ever so high enough to put me in range when the slow-flying thing made its circuit.

DANGER WILL ROBINSONIf I do anything other than click the "Tame Beast" button, I am sure to kill myself.

DANGER WILL ROBINSON
If I do anything other than click the “Tame Beast” button, I am sure to kill myself.

This shot may make my position a little clearer in the context of Coldarra:

This Pointy Icy ThingIt's JUST in range of the lower-flying Spirit of the North.

This Pointy Icy Thing
It’s JUST in range of the lower-flying Spirit of the North.

The thing is, I’m kinda feeling attached to Valentine now.  Maybe I should camp out in line for Acroniss after all … or just leave Valentine as the derpy old school serpent (derpent?) that he is.