Tag Archives: rocket camels

ORLY

So you have a huntard, but you decide to run End Time on your DK, because baby needs a new set of shoulders.  You know what happens?  This happens:

Run End Time on a DK - Fate is Cruel

Run End Time on a DK
Fate is Cruel

Upon hearing about this, Thermalix had to be revived with some explosive smelling salts.  Things haven’t been all bad for her, however:

Proof of Possibility

Proof of Possibility
This means that Rocket Camels are a logical next step.

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You Never Talk to a Person These Days

Mechalis as an NPC

YOU! YES, YOU!
You need a rocket camel!

Thank you for calling the Rocket Camel Company.  Please listen closely to the following menu, as our options have changed.

If you are calling to inquire about purchasing a Rocket Camel, please press 1.  If you would like to lease a Rocket Camel, dial 664983 and leave a voice message.  A member of the Soul Shares Department will return your call as soon as possible.

If you are calling about our Rocket Camel Return program or would like to exchange your camel for a newer model with MOAR ROCKETS ™, please press 2.

If you would like to speak to our Repair Department, please hang up and make arrangements to contact the nearest practitioner of the Light, because there’s not much we can do.  For future reference, ensure your precision rocketry is not pointing at the camel’s face prior to rocket activation.  With regular maintainence and constant good luck, your Rocket Camel will last for years.

If you would like to speak to the next available representative, please press 0 to be put on hold.  Calls will be answered in the order received and may be dropped at any time to adjust call load.  This call may be monitored or recorded to cover our asses.

Thank you for calling the Rocket Camel Company.  We appreciate your time and interest, and look forward to denying all responsibility while blaming everything on you.

It’s time … FOR ROCKET CAMELS.

So, as most folks know, that one rocket mount thinger is being retired and will no longer be available.

I think this is an excellent moment to mention a project that is very near and dear to the hearts of Thermalix and Mechalis: ROCKET CAMELS.  Rocket camels would be the ideal replacement for that mount!  Why, you ask?

ROCKET CAMELS BABY

Camels offer more CHOICE!

One hump or two?  While a Bactrian camel would be a great replacement for the RAF rocket, what if you didn’t need a two-seater?  No worries, friends, we have the model for you.  A dromedary camel would be perfect!  Since camels come with a choice in seating arrangements, they’re more adaptable and thus better!

Camels are more EFFICIENT!

They’re cheap!  In fact, rocket camels are much cheaper to produce than RAF rockets.  Those other rockets require some poor saps to labor away in a Bilgewater sweatshop somewhere.  As a goblin, I’m not opposed to hard manual labor for little pay, but even trolls these days are demanding more in return for their efforts.  Making big rockets can get expensive!  On the other hand, since the camels already exist, they require much less effort, material and personnel to put together.  In order to make a rocket camel, you simply:

  1. Go to Uldum
  2. Locate a camel
  3. Knock said camel out
  4. Get the duct tape out of your Goblin All-in-One-Der Belt
  5. Tape some rockets on the camel
  6. Wait for the camel to wake up

And there you have it!  A flying camel!  This plan is FOOLPROOF.

ROCKET CAMELS BABY

(D.E.H.T.A.’s little P.I.T.A’s may not want to witness this part of the production process.  Ignorance is bliss, after all.)

Plus, you get fertilizer!

Flying camels are AWESOME!

C’mon, it’s a camel!  It flies!  It’s great!  Just because the rockets are made by goblins doesn’t mean any harm will come to the camel.  It’s all in the positioning of the rocketry!  After all, many goblins remember the days on the Lost Isles where they saved others by launching them with precision explosives.