Tag Archives: shado-pan

Meanwhile, In Pandaland

So I regularly hear guildmates complain about their daily Shado-pan companions.Thermalix, of course, has better things to complain about.

So I regularly hear guildmates complain about their daily Shado-pan companions.
Thermalix, of course, has better things to complain about.

Having knocked the Tillers, Golden Lotus and Dominance Offensive off her list of reps to work on when she feels inclined to do so, Thermalix elected to start making friends with the Shado-pan.  Folks recommended going Klaxxi, but the bugs just don’t have awesome hats waiting for you at Exalted like the Shado-pan do.  Since I am incapable of doing all the dailies + running LFR + running everything ever all the time, I will never have enough Valor to purchase what I need.  Therefore, I’m going to work towards what I want, and what I want is a damn fancy ninja hat.

In other news, Alexalis hit level 85 and marched off to Pandaland to join Mechalis, Ailabeth and Centina, who have been chilling there at levels 88, 88 and 87, respectively.  (Having completed the Dynamic Duo achievement with Niremere, I just can’t seem to pick a third alt to raise to 90.)

While Alexalis was in the Jade Forest hating on the water sprites (the way they jump from one foot to the other is especially grating), I happened to notice something interesting.

Alexalis Takes PandalandDisregard the corpses in the corner.  OH I KILL MYSELF.

Alexalis Takes Pandaland
Disregard the corpses in the corner. OH I KILL MYSELF.

But look closer …

Alexalis Takes PandalandThat's the thing about this joint ... you  never want to look closer.

Alexalis Takes Pandaland
That’s the thing about this joint … you never want to look closer.

What are those sprites DOING?  Who knew that sprites were in an all out war with warlock imps?  Maybe one day, warlocks everywhere will wake up and discover that each and every last imp in the world has been squished into oblivion.  In a good world, that’d be the end of it.  In the strange twisted realm that I am sure these water sprites occupy, they would insist on becoming every warlock’s new best friend.

DECISIONS DECISIONSOr maybe ... BOTH.

DECISIONS DECISIONS
Or maybe … BOTH.

Public Announcement: This Place is a Total Deathtrap

What sick, sadistic designer came up with the Serpent’s Spine quest chain for the Golden Lotus?  No, seriously, what the hell was wrong with that dood?

Let’s take Mantid Under Fire as the first example.  You’re supposed to go find a vat of boiling oil on the top of the wall and use it to hurl oil (and a torch, for extra fire) on the mantid at the foot of the gate.  Sounds good, right?  I believe the NPC who gave it to me actually called it fun!  It took me a little while to figure out when I had actually successfully oiled up a bunch of mantid (otherwise you will hurl the torch to no avail and everything – and I do mean everything – will magically evade you), but I was doing all right – until the game decided I apparently took too long in killing my 80 mantid.

Stunned but Not Silent

Stunned but Not Silent
I wish I had a shot of me in mid-plummet, but I was too startled the first time and too mad the second.

Why, in the name of Gawd, does the pot of oil insist upon ejecting you off the wall to your doom if you are unfortunate enough to take too much time to complete the quest?  I understand not wanting defenders (such as we are) to go AFK while manning one of the oil cauldrons when somebody else could use it, but why must I die without warning when I’m honest to Gawd using the thing and trying to complete the quest?

And why, in the name of Gawd, does the pot of oil insist upon throwing you off the gate to your doom if you click the authentic, legitimate “Leave Vehicle” button?  Why won’t it just let me step off to the side?  Why won’t the thing be satisfied unless it can hurl me off the wall to my demise, far, far below?

This was the first time I had gotten the quest chain.  Based on the comments I have subsequently read, you need to have the ability to see into the future to survive your first try.  With your psychic abilities, you will be aware of the violent tendencies of these pots to attack those manning them, and will wisely choose one of the pots on the ramparts where the wall is really thick.  That way, when the thing sends you flying – and it will – at least you don’t plunge to your certain death.

Nice one, whoever designed this quest.  Nice one.  You were angry or maybe a little upset at the time.  Maybe somebody said something awful on the forums, which they do a lot.  But why do we all have to suffer for it?

And while I’m at it, Along the Serpent’s Spine has caused me to hate the Shado-pan and the Golden Lotus in ways I never did before.  I’ve been told that the spawn rate in Mists is somehow smarter in that it magically increases when there are more people in the area killing the mobs in question, and decreases when there are less souls to do the work.  I think my friends who believe this are total fools.  They are also total dears and in many cases very experienced players, but they are fools for believing in this nonetheless.  Leaving fatty goatsteaks quest in the Valley aside, this quest proves it.

I was the only player in my immediate area, yet the spawn rate for the mantid on the wall was so Utterly Insane, my pet got utterly smashed to pieces and I had to Feign Death at a quarter health.  Thank God Feign Death lasts for up to six minutes so I could take a moment to wonder how the hell I was going to get out of there alive, since there was no one else killing these mobs in my vicinity and I was definitely still in aggro range.

All the while, the Shado-pan pandaninjas were running around the wall like chickens with their heads cut off.  Are they jogging to lose weight?  Are they hallucinating, seeing mantid in the distance that don’t exist?  THE SHADO-PAN, THEY DO NOTHING.

One of my tankytype guildmates (who, incidentially, ressed me earlier after one of my pot-of-oil-plummets) had to come help me out, because I would have aggroed without time to bandage up or drink a potion, which of course would have led to death.

Is this supposed to be realistic in the sense that OMG! THE PANDAS ARE BEING OVERRUN BY BUGS!?  If so, mission accomplished.  Objective achieved.  My conclusion is that the battle is utterly hopeless and pointless because even we big bad adventurers are going to get eaten alive by countless gigantic walking termites. Run away!