Tag Archives: thingie

The Former Form of Hugbees

So, Hugbees was unable to make it to the transmog contest as she had hoped, which meant I transferred her platekini ambitions on to my more regular cast.

Nir refused platekini.  The closest she would go was the “Soul Caller” set, and in response to that, she went and made the “Need More Overlords” set (to be posted).  Mechalis took one look and just laughed her little green butt off.  Mechbeth, ever desperate for a purpose, said “ME!  ME!  PICK ME!”  Since warlocks can’t wear plate, she underwent yet another career change to become a blood elf paladin for the purpose, and got all the way to level 7 before losing steam.

Though many think female blood elves are meant to wear nothing but platekini, I find them far too skinny for the task.  So I created an extremely short-lived Tauren who was going to be the failure of all Grimtotem failures, but I realized that I couldn’t handle the total lack of hairdos, since horns don’t do it for me.  Since you can only make one Death Knight per server, Hugbees couldn’t be transferred.

Then came Thingie.  She’s long had a secret thing for platekini (she hid the Warrior’s Embrace top under a tabard for months), and she recently cooked up an outfit based based heavily on the skimpier Revenant set.  I also renamed Thingie, but the new name wasn’t taking.

So, I turned Thingie into an orc and gave her yet another new name.  I couldn’t quite bring myself to call an RP realm character Hugbees, though, so I dubbed her “Ugbeis” instead, which seems orcish enough.

Ugbeis the Gorgeous

Ugbeis the Gorgeous

A huntard in a Dungeon Finder party named his new pet after her, since I told him how to tame one of the wolves without getting the rest of us killed (Ice Trap FTW!).  He called it “Creepy.”

Post-patch acclimatization process initializing.

So I’m slowly spending some time reacquainting myself with the different classes.

Summary for the tl;dr folks:

  1. Thingie lives on, long live Charge
  2. Majig got deleted because of bad totem feelings
  3. Arcane mage/protection paladink feel the same to me as they did before
  4. I need Shadowstep back, but level 60 seems so far away
  5. OMGWTF I HATE HATE HATE abilities that are under 15 seconds especially if you have to keep them up
  6. “Choice” is crap, there’s still a set of talents that “should” be chosen
  7. Where’s the Shadow talent choice at level 90 add one soon plzkthx
  8. Screw the standard Shadow talent build, I want my Shadowsquid

The Good Parts:

Caliverne nearly had a heart attack when I told him I was considering deleting a fellow warrior, but thanks to the patch, Thingie survived The Purging of the Alts.  Warriors got Titan’s Grip at a super low level and now rage regeneration feels easier (once I was reminded that I should probably use a Stance and all).  I also remembered that I really like Charge-ing into things, even though I do sometimes get a little Charge happy and Charge into the wrong mobs across the room.

Centina’s now up to 70.  Prior to the patch, people kept on complaining that now Arcane mages will have to hit a grand total of three buttons OMFG.  Maybe I’ve been a screwup as a mage, as I was always hitting three buttons or more.  In any case, it mostly seems the same as before, except I can’t tell what the hell causes Arcane Missiles to pop (sometimes I can just keep on smashing Arcane Blast forever la la la), and sometimes I get two shots of Arcane Missiles for no apparent reason.  This, however, is not something I feel mad about.  FIRE ZE MISSILES!*

Niremere has no idea how lowbie protection tanking is different now.  For her, it’s exactly like it was before.  Run in, smash things in face with a shield, smash more things and Judgementize them, yell at the huntard/priest/mage who insists on shooting the next mob before you pull the mob yourself, rinse, repeat.  Also, how many bad euphemisms/puns was Blizzard knowingly making when they created that glyph where you get a buff if you mount up?

The Iffy Part:
I’ve been leveling Bombelina because OMFG BOXES HELP ME BOXES EVERYWHERE I couldn’t unlock the boxes I was picking up, and that was the whole damn point of this rogue business.  My favorite thing ever, Shadowstep, is now a talent that I can’t get back until level 60.  I liked that skill an awful lot because I suck at positioning (hence why I often like ranged damage, because my position is simply “far away from the thing that hurts”).  On the other hand, because I have played her more recently, I seem to be getting less sucky at rogue-ing in general.  I just spend the whole pug pickpocketing anyway.

The Bad Parts:
Why the mother trucking @#$% bleeping bleepity bleep bleep bleep are there now so damned many bleeping @#%# skills under thirty seconds, some of which you’re supposed to “keep up at all times”?  If it isn’t obvious by now, I hate it when things that are Generally Useful and/or Need to Be Kept Up are also really stupid short.  Short is okay when it’s a “Save My Ass” skill or talent, but if it’s something you’re using all the damn time?  Annoying as @^#$.

Take shamans, for example.  Once upon a time, shaman totems lasted a grand total of thirty seconds to however many minutes.  It was possible to glyph them so they lasted longer, and you damn well better believe that I did.  My only issue was that although you got four “sets” that you could set up and summon, you couldn’t label those sets, which in turn made it somewhat difficult to remember which same-looking icon was which bunch of totems.

Blizzard decided to solve this totem complexity issue by making totems into mostly non-buffs that last fifteen seconds or so.  They have specific situational uses, that is, pray to God your situation lasts fifteen seconds or less (or that you’re not fighting in the same spot for more than fifteen seconds).  Fightin’!  Lemme throw down this totem.  Fightin’!  Oh wait.  Gotta do it again.  Fightin’!  Wait.  Totem time!  I’d rather just not use totems at that rate, but the reason I made a goblin shaman in the first place was because I really liked the way goblin totems looked.  Also, /sadface in that you only toss down one totem or two, because I liked having all the awesome looking totems around me.  Yeah, I deleted Majig.

I’m also feeling pissy about similar timing changes made to shadow priest skills.  For example:

Shadow Word: Pain lasts 18 seconds.
Vampiric Touch lasts 15 seconds.
Devouring Plague lasts 6 seconds.

You’re supposed to keep Pain and Vampiric Touch up all the time.  (In addition, Mind Flay no longer resets Shadow Word: Pain.)  #$% my life.

The new setup to “provide players with the flexibility to choose certain talents without backlash” is a bunch of pretentious game designer bullsheeyit; it sounds nice when you say it and nice when you plan it, but it isn’t actually true in practice.  DPS bean counters and number aficionados have, of course, already figured out The New Standard, and there is, of course, only one New Standard (unlike the one and a half there was before when there were ninety million talents).  Are you really free to choose any talent?  Yeah, right, since you need to choose certain ones for your DPS – your reason for existing.  (Also, why is there no Shadow variant for the level 90 tier?  FAIL!)

You know what Ailabeth says?  Eff it.  Eff it all.  She is keeping her Mindbender Shadowsquid.  It’s not like I was ever top DPS in the first place or even anywhere close.  I’ll take my “Passive Aggressive Mana Management” scheme and just make it a “Passive Aggressive Low Damage Justification Because I Want My Shadowsquid Dammit” scheme.

*(But I am le tired!)

Midsummer Madness

Well That's Ironic

Well That’s Ironic
Not enough rage?
53 Warrior getting shot in the back by an 82 Boomkin with tree friendz

I believe I once mentioned the story of how I /ragequit WoW during Vanilla’s early days because I made the mistake of rolling on a PVP server, and I couldn’t cope with max leveled players camping my wimpy little corpse.

For most of the Midsummer Fire Festival, I’ve been dousing Alliance fires without issue.  Wyrmrest Accord is, after all, RP, and most folks seem to have something better to be doing than killing fire dousers (unless they attack NPCs too, of course).  Aside from one ill-considered camel run into Exodar, I have not attempted to steal the capital flames, because I Just. Don’t.  PVP.  It gives me a bad case of teh angries.

Alas, poor Thingie. (Thingie is level 53, by the way.)

Since she happened to be in the area to work on skinning, she doused the fire in Stranglethorn and then she went on her way (read: nowhere near the fire).  A few minutes into killing gorillas (and only a minute or two away from being unflagged), something caught her eye.  A tree.

A tree that was moving.  Or was that several?  The hell?

I had just enough time to adjust the camera angle before Thingie got tree’d one shotted in the back by a level 82 Boomkin Worgen, who then flew off.  (At least he didn’t camp her corpse?)

Thingie wanted revenge, but unfortunately, by the time Caliverne arrived to help her get it, the Worgen had gone to Deepholm (What kind of magic is this!?).  Caliverne obligingly went to Deepholm for her, but then the Worgen turned up in Stormwind, and even Caliverne (dear soul that he is) is not insane enough to storm Stormwind in search of a single Worgen (who ended up chilling peacefully in the Auction House).  No revenge for Thingie.


Tanking While Tap Dancing

My past relationship with tanking comes in the form of Thingie, who got to level 40 by this approach.  As a warrior tank with a slight inferiority complex due to her height and DPS, her technique was something like “/ROAR and /PANIC and USE ALL THE SKILLS!  OMFG!”  This worked, for the most part, but it did get somewhat stressful.  Somewhere around level 40 or so, she ran screaming and that was that.

Cue Niremere, who got to level 40 as Retribution.  She then had a party where a dwarf tank (named something like Thedwarf, I kid you not) went Ret in the middle of the dungeon, so she figured, she could go Prot, right?  RIGHT.

Niremere Tanks So You Don't Have To

Niremere Tanks So You Don’t Have To
Holy Crap Instaqueue

I actually kind of … like tanking.  What’s wrong with me?  This is a position of responsibility!  You actually have to do crap!  But Niremere feels dramatic and of consequence, running forward, slinging some shield and holy power, all the while smashing all the things.  Plus, OMFG INSTAQUEUE.  I don’t know what’s up, but every time she turns on Dungeon Finder, she’s got a party within a minute.  You can’t beat that.

This is not to say that everything ends well, of course.

Niremere's Tanking Adventures

Niremere’s Tanking Adventures
Well, crap.

Or, even better:

Baby Got Trolled

Baby Got Trolled
In Dire Maul? WTF?

Yeah, I don’t know either.  While I think I actually like tanking, I still hate Dire Maul, so I may just quest my way past that and then tank some more.

Let’s review:


  1. Through judicious use of the Light, my party shall live.
  2. If it looks as though my party will wipe, I will go down fighting.  (Probably first, but it’s the principle that counts, right?)
  3. I will keep the mobs from attacking the heirloomed, the poorly geared and the wounded, no matter the cost.

  1. The only way my party lives is if everything else dies.
  2. If it looks like this party is going to bomb, screw this sheeyit.  I’m getting out of here!
  3. What do you mean, tanking isn’t some sort of protection racket?  Besides, it’s not MY fault if the huntard pulls crap before I do.

Both agree on one thing, though.  Did the party live?  GOOD.

If the Goblins Were NPCs

So there’s this Blog Azeroth Thing, where Cymre asks what NPC your character would be.

Mechalis as an NPC

You need a rocket camel!

Mechalis would be a Rocket Camel Vendor.  She would fly to different major cities (perhaps one city per week), exploding on the scene and causing mayhem and uproar and attracting lots of publicity, and hopefully making a nice tidy profit once the smoke clears.  She’d have to take one week off every now and then to replenish her supplies, but for the most part, she’d be devoted to sharing Rocket Camels with the world.

Thermalix as an NPC

I’ve looked at the map
I still can’t get out of here

Thermalix would be a secret Quest Giver whom players would normally find lost in a corner somewhere in Dalaran.  If you talk to her often enough, you’ll get a quest where you can offer to escort her safely to the Auction House.  On the way, you will be assaulted by visions of nightmarishly expensive armor and Minigob Manabonk.  If you defeat them all and succeed in showing her the way, you’ll receive some of the engineering crap she’s stored in her bank.  If you’re lucky, you might even get an Explosive Sheep!

Centina as an NPC

I wouldn’t go outdoors in that
But whatever, it’s your dignity

Centina would be a Transmog Specialist.  She’d stand next to the transmog guy in Orgrimmar and critique your outfit loudly and in public.  By critique, she means “inform you that your wardrobe choices need work, and your sense of color is totally … interesting,” and if asked, she’d recommend pieces for you.  This means no one will ever talk to her.

Bombelina as an NPC

If you want me to be there
I’m gonna make you wait

Bombelina would be an optional, rare spawn that shows up occasionally in some dungeon you run way too often to care about.  She would drop a prototype of her latest leather jacket design, made for those moments when you accidentally jump off your flying mount.  They explode upon impact, thereby negating the crushing force of the landing!

Thingie as an NPC

1,000 pelts? I meant 10,000
I like to see you suffer

Thingie would be a daily Quest Giver related to your profession.  She would first ask you to produce 5 of something, which seems reasonable.  The next time you do the quest, she’d ask for 50.  After that, she’ll ask for 500 of the same item.  She would continue this until you are so horribly bored you think the skill up/bag of shiny things isn’t worth it anymore, so you abandon the questline and quit.  Months later, you’ll read a post on a site somewhere, saying that if you manage to survive all her requests, you get an epically shiny, super-duper rare mount.  But she won’t let you continue once you’ve abandoned the quests!

Majig, who hasn’t shown up in the blog in her own right yet, would be that Quest Giver who keeps on walking away from you while you’re trying to read the text, causing the box to close.  It isn’t a glamorous job, but somebody’s gotta do it.

The Definition of Awesome

For some people, “awesome” means beating Arthas Dragon Soul, or being equipped with the armor of the gods, or finally getting some mount/achieve/what have you.

For Thingie, it’s dual-wielding Shovels of Mercy.

Twice the Mercy

Twice the Mercy
May the Light Help Us All

This is the silliest transmog I’ve been able to accomplish, as most ridiculous things can’t be transmogged at all.  Why can the Shovel of Mercy be transmogged?  I don’t know, and I’m not gonna ask.  I am simply going to enjoy smacking the sheeyit out of things with shovels.

The Vanity of Thingie

Having realized that with the glory of transmog, I no longer needed to stare at horrifically unmatched sets of armor, I began to take a look at my alts.  Enter Thingie Goldwasher, eldest Goldwasher sister, cranky warrior, former tank who now says no tank you, and overall cynical crusher of dreams:


It got worse before it got better.

Oh God.  I can’t even count the number of things that make me cry on the inside, but I’ll point out the major culprits: the “shirt” (held on with adhesives), the metal panties (can’t be comfortable), and ooogly colors (why are my boots green while my “shirt” is reddish?).  (I couldn’t bear to take a screenshot of it when it got worse, which it did.)  Thingie needed a makeover – FAST.

Unfortunately, that’s when I realized that at 41, Thingie had Problems.  Warriors only get plate at 40, and that meant she was not yet decked out in full quest plate.  Plate is also where transmoggers go to waste their gold, as it was priced a full arm and a leg higher than mail.  Oh dear.  Thingie first needed to get plated, then she needed to level, and lastly, hopefully, get rich.  Two out of three happened.  Cue the PUGS!

In the first group, there was a warrior who, seemingly at random, went and attacked a mob.  Thingie, being helpful (and wanting to kill things faster because Dire Maul Oh God Why What Have I Done To You GET ME OUT OF HERE), assisted him.

For this, he punched her.  That led to the following conversation:

He Punched First

He Punched First
And don’t call me short!

As far as I know, jock straps have not yet been invented in Azeroth.  WATCH IT.

Cue the next group, where the tank spontaneously dropped.  While waiting:

Anything Else You'd Like To Tell Me?

Anything Else You’d Like To Tell Me?

As we all know, these sorts of groups are very special.  This particular exchange ended with the priest running into some mobs and pulling them back.  As the other party members wore cloth, Thingie reflexively went “OH CRAP,” switched to Defensive Stance and Thunderstomped.  Keep in mind that Thingie does not own a shield.  This went well for a brief period of time, but then the priest ran out of mana.  The end is clear without saying.

In any case, after much suffering, Thingie gained enough levels to allow her to wear something obnoxious, but obnoxious in a better way.

"The Vanity of Thingie" Set

“The Vanity of Thingie” Set

Helmet Not Shown | Cleaned Up Pauldrons | Pagan Cape | Valorous Chestguard
Force Embued Gauntlets | Overlord’s Girdle | Valorous Legguards | Gothic Sabatons

I have a goblin problem.

They’re gold-grubbing, soul-selling comedy machines and I love it.  I can’t stop making goblin alts.

Once upon a long long time ago in a state far far away, a much younger self started playing WoW as a little undead rogue named Claire.  Unfortunately, I had rolled on a PvP server to play with a friend.  “But Mech,” you say, “why is this unfortunate?  PvP is fun!”  Well, it was unfortunate because some max level Alliance decided to camp my poor level 16 corpse, making it impossible for me to kill plagued bears in peace.  How do you get revenge when you’re dinky and they’re twinky (and way more numerous)?  So I /ragequit the Forsaken and made a Tauren.  Do you remember when Thousand Needles was dry?  I do, because I made my Tauren jump off the plateaus.

VersebelgAnyway, years passed where I did not play WoW.  When I returned (post Cataclysm), I looked at goblins and thought, “Jeebus, their ARMS!”  So I rolled a Troll instead, Versebelg.  (Ailabeth, my Forsaken and mostly forgotten priest, was also created around the same time.)

But then, one day, I made the fatal mistake of rolling a goblin just to see what their starting area was like, and now I’ve gone through their starting area approximately one million times.  This is particularly insane considering you do 100+ quests before you even get off the islands.

My first goblins were the Goldwasher sisters, Thingie, Majig and Mabob.  No, of course their ancestors did not launder money!  Their business endeavors were entirely legal.  Well, mostly anyway …


Thingie, who is still around, is the eldest of the three, and the crankiest.  She is filled with rage (this is punny because she’s a warrior!), which she sometimes takes out on monsters by beating the sheeyit out of them.

Majig, the middle sister, started out as a restoration shaman.  She did not last too long in this occupation, as she found it much more satisfying to dual wield sharp pointy objects.  (Perpetual annoyance seems to be a family trait.)

Mabob, the mage, has since gone off on her own (a.k.a. been deleted).  Her rather frequent death rate probably reflected my inherent tendency to either 1.) run up to the monster and smack it in the face, or 2.) stand my ground when the monster runs towards me.  This is not how being a mage works.


After that, you’d think I had all the goblins I needed.  Wrong!

That’s when I made Mechalis.  I had one goal – be the happiest, most ridiculous damn Death Knight ever, and boy, did I succeed in that regard.  Blizzard’s code apparently agreed, for every minion she summons has a daft name.  Mechalis typically winds up with unintimidating, rather awkward minions like  Wormjumper (he has low standards), Eyeface (he’s got eyes!  On his face!) and Dirtthief (why does he steal dirt?).  She has a soft spot for Mudchewer (teeth are overrated), however, so she lets him stick around.

If it’s silly, has to do with rockets or pool ponies or things that don’t really need an attention span, Mechalis is all for it.  She has no last name, because that whole Scourge thing did a number on her memory.  All she really remembers now are rockets, profit and the comfort of cold, hard gold.  But that’s ok.  When you’re a goblin, that’s really all you need.

After getting Mechalis to 85, I promptly made more goblins.


Bombelina Sparklefuse is a wee rogue, and a cousin of the Goldwashers.  Her goal is, appropriately, to open up all the boxes ever.  Her hair is ridiculously cute.  Did I mention boxes?  Okay, good, because that’s really all she exists for.  That, perhaps, and sneaking around in the awesome way only goblins do.

(Given my tendencies mentioned earlier – smack things in the face, stay put and stab back – I suck at rogues too.  I know this because there have been other Forsaken rogues in my past who never made it past level 16.  I seem to be doing somewhat better this time around, however.)

And I should not forget Centina, hunter and self-proclaimed Miss Bilgewater.  She has no last name, but that’s simply because I haven’t made one up.  Her first pet was a crab, who met his end on the Lost Isles.  Good-bye, Crabcakes.  You were delicious.


I made Centina for two reasons: 1.) My 85 huntard is a troll, not a goblin, and I’m too damn cheap to pay for a race and name change, and 2.) OMFG color changing spiny raptor only goblins can get yay!  (I named him Kaja.  Never forget Kaja-cola, official beverage of the Bilgewater Buccaneers!  It gives you IDEAS!)

I like being a huntard for several reasons: 1.) I have an excuse when I do something stupid, since I’m not expected to be smart*, 2.) I like classes with pets/companions/things that help me, 3.) I am independent, meaning leveling is not a pain in the ass, and 4.) there are no expectations of saving someone else whatsoever, which is very good since I have a lot of trouble saving myself sometimes.  FEIGN DEATH FOREVER!

I fully intend on going Beastmaster so I can tame a Devilsaur and name it Sharptooth.


* This also works in my favor when my DPS is low, since I’m expected to suck.