Tag Archives: throne of thunder

Part Three: The Real Lei Sheeyit

When it comes to fighting the Twins, I have a mental image of the guild hunter as some sort of well-armored ballerina, dancing out patterns that, if you look real close and squint hard, might actually resemble the Celestials.  He is dancing with precision and grace, but if you didn’t know what shape he was making, you’d be at a loss.

But enough of interpretive dance.  Let’s speak of Lei Shen, the guy who has no shirt and no shoes but expects service from the Zandalari anyway.  We intrepid adventurers went in to free the Zandalari of his oppressive regime for blood, guts and glory.  And gold.  And gear.

Right In The Middle With You From this platform, Lei Shen makes it rain in the Isle of Thunder.  Good job, Lei Shen.

Right In The Middle With You
From this platform, Lei Shen makes it rain in the Isle of Thunder. Good job, Lei Shen.

You know what freaks me out the most about Lei Shen, regardless of mode?  It’s how the freaking teleporter pad thing puts you RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of his platform.  Of course, the middle is better than the edge, since that’s where HE is … but it just feels so exposed, like he might just turn around, go “WELL HELLO THERE,” and shock the sheeyit out of us all.  Fortunately he, like every mob ever, suffers from extreme near-sightedness.  (Next big market for goblins: mob optometry.)

In LFR, the Lei Shen sequence feels something like this, with arrows indicating a period of movement:

↑ THERE WENT A HEALER → BATTLERES ON THE TANK PLEASE ↓ CAN WE GET A BATTLERES ON THE TANK PLEASE ← JEEBUS HOW MANY WARLOCKS AND DRUIDS DO WE HAVE WHO AREN’T PAYING ATTENTION ↑ GO TO YOUR MARKER → STACK ↓ etc.

You basically pray that the tanks know what the hell they’re doing with this whole conduit business, and follow them around the square until the intermission/one section of the platform blows/etc.  It’s a certain kind of chaotic, but it has a predictable pattern.

In normal, the Lei Shen sequence (for me, at least) seems something like this:

→ ← ↑ ↓ → ↓ ↔ ↑ ↓ OW → ← ↑ ↓ → ↓ ↔ OH GOD THAT HURT ↑ ↓ ↔ WTF → ← ↑ ↓ → ↓ ↔ ADDS → ← ↑ ↓ → ↓ ↔ CRAP UM WELL REINCARNATION’S STILL GOT AN 11 MINUTE COOLDOWN

A Rare Shot Trust me, they're hard to come by.  If there's something I can stand in, I'm already dead there.

A Rare Shot
Trust me, they’re hard to come by. If there’s something I can stand in, I’m already dead there.

Seems similar, but while you don’t have to worry about the tanks knowing their sheeyit, following them around the square is a completely different ballgame.  You must stack, but you GOTTA spread out.  STACK!  Move away!  You can’t be so close because adds pain bad ow help death. STACK NO BAD STACK MORE GO AWAY STACK SPREAD STACK it’s like some sort of … weird interpretive dance, actually, with potentially fatal consequences if you fail to perform the attraction/repulsion routine just right.  I think we had to take seven or eight shots at it in all before we managed to ground the guy permanently (for the week).

Dear Lei Shen This is why having friends is good.  They can kick ass for you when you are dead.

Dear Lei Shen
This is why having friends is good. They can kick ass for you when you are dead.

Since this was my first time defeating being part of a group that defeated the “real” raid version Lei Shen, I achieved:

Does This Feat Make Me Look Legit?

Does This Feat Make Me Look Legit?

Does this make me legit?

I credit the others for 97% of it.  The last 3% would be my own efforts that, while useful, were comparatively miniscule.  I don’t FEEL like a “real raider,” at least not yet.  (Maybe repeat exposure helps?)  Having the feat seems somehow surreal, as though I were some sort of dream-observer, watching from a different plane.  This could be due to all the time I spent dead.

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Part Two: The Forgotten Derps (and more!)

Sounds Lovely I'll bring some chips.

Sounds Lovely
I’ll bring some chips.

Megaera apparently has a reputation for being a pain in the whozawhatzits for healers.  Still, I wasn’t too worried.  There’s only so much freaking out you can do before you simply canNOT freak out anymore because there’s just no more freaking out to be had.  I had expended all my available freaking out-type feelings on everything that had come earlier, so when it came to time to contemplate Meggies, I practically shrugged.  Eh!  Multiheaded hydrasnake thinger?  No biggie.

Bucket  List See, a total absence of caps or jibberish.  Means I'm perfectly calm.

Bucket List
See, a total absence of caps or jibberish. Means I’m perfectly calm.

Other than emotional burnout, I had one other, semi-logical reason for not being too worried.  You KNOW when Megaera’s going to Rampage.  Because it’s so regular and therefore predictable (unlike, say, a DPS getting a crit to the head while trying to kick a turtle during the Tortos fight), it’s easy to plan for.  Healer A does something this time, Healer B does something this time, Healer C does something this time, etc. etc. etc.  If we’ve run out of things to do or mana to do it with, then obviously we 1.) have a problem, 2.) are taking too long, or 3.) guys, just stop healing already so we can wipe it.*

The biggest “tough thing” was the distance factor.  You gotta run more and farther away from the party in normal than in LFR, but that in turn means you just maaaaaaaaaay be going out of my range.  This COULD (and did) turn into an issue, because if I’ve gotta dash to get in range, I face the second tough thing of normal version of the fight: I can’t always see the bad ice stuff on the ground.  I don’t know if it’s too light, too puffy or too transparent, but usually that means GTFO sounds the klaxons of imminent doom and I perish.

Murdersnail Why send the Alliance in after Garrosh?  We should just get some snails.

Murdersnail
Why send the Alliance in after Garrosh? We should just get some snails.

The snails are still vicious, by the way.  I remain (and will forever be) disappointed that a snail was not any of the bosses and/or the end boss for the final raid of Mists.  I bet if you introduced a murdersnail to a Sha, real bad sheeyit would happen.  REAL BAD.  It wouldn’t just be the Vale.  IT’D BE THE WORLD.  I can hold out hope that crazy killer mutant sha-snails is the threat Wrathion is worried about.  Let me have my dreams, okay?

Anyway, I got assigned to nest team for Ji-kun.  It was deemed safer to keep the big-number, well-geared healers on the main platform, due to the mass amount of damage expected.  (And I’m totally behind that decision, man.  If it means more survival for all with less weighty responsibility for me, wonderful!)

I admit that I began to feel a teeeeeensy bit of terror here, though.  Even though I instinctively attempt to avoid stuff on the ground by jumping over it (which never seems to work), I have a tendency to get disoriented when I suddenly have to move in vertical space in addition to the usual horizontal.  I solved this by requesting they put a raid marker on the hunter I was to follow, and also by never, ever deselecting him, ever.  (That way, if I lost sight of him, I could always see my target on my minimap, to give me an idea of where to go.)  More DPS would’ve been good, of course … but I was too scared of falling to my doom.

Also, when those baby birds are small, they’re all adorable and biting at my ankles and crap and awwwwwwww, I can’t kill them!  Fortunately, the warlock and hunter can – and did.

All Dogs Go to Heaven Ok, so I'm a Ghost Wolf.  Does that count?

All Dogs Go to Heaven
Ok, so I’m a Ghost Wolf. Does that count?

I spontaneously expired at the end of the Ji-kun fight for reasons that were not immediately apparent.  To be perfectly honest, I think it had to do with not actually plummeting face-first into a raid wipe while healing the nest team.  Because I lived, and was so shocked that I did, I could not continue upon the mortal coil.

Consistency I should work on my negative feelings.  Durumu's not a bad eyeball, he's just been in there for so lo... no, I hate him.

Consistency
I should work on my negative feelings. Durumu’s not a bad eyeball, he’s just been in there for so lo… no, I hate him.

Durumu just wasn’t going well since we had a number of nooblets (me, for example), so we decided to call it quits and come back next week.  Alas, I was not on the roster that week, so I was not able to get revenge on Durumu then.  They also killed Primordius at this point in time, so when I was back in, we started with Dark Animus.  Because our normal shaman healer was back in the game, I got to nuke things!  Or try to the best of my ability while running around like a chicken with my head cut off, anyway.

There's No Going Back Now

There’s No Going Back Now

I don’t really have a large number of screenshots for any of these fights, because print screen only takes a screenshot and doesn’t heal/throw lava (sadly).  Also, I only got two hands.  If I gotta be moving with one hand and casting a spell with the other (SPIRITWALKER’S GRACE, I LOVE YOU), that leaves very little left for getting a good screenie.  (You’ll see this even more in the next post, with Iron Qon.  Screenshot of fire phase: check.  Screenshot of tornado phase: missing.  Screenshot of icy/barrier phase:  check.)

Back to Dark Animus.  My role in this was simple.  Goal #1: Beth, get aggro on THAT add.  Goal #2: stand HERE.  Goal #3: Don’t die.  Goal #4: When we say to, drag the add to the middle (p.s., don’t stand in front of anything while there plzkthx).  Try not to die.

Goal #1?  Yep, got aggro, kept aggro.  Goal #2?  Yeah, stood there like a pro, man.  I’m real good at standing.  Goal #3?  AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Goal #4?  I’m also real good at training sheeyit to faraway places, so dragging the add to the middle was no problem!

Stay tuned for “Part Three: The Real Lei Sheeyit!”

*Speaking of wiping it, I always have conflicting feelings about doing so.  I’ve suicided by jumping off Wyrmrest when the Ultralixion fight seemed to be going badly, and I’m certainly known for doing things like running away too soon, Feigning Death the instant I get a faint whiff of an incoming wipe, etc.  So really, I ought to have no problem with wiping it up already to save time so we can try again.

But when I’m healing, there’s a part of my head that’s like, BUT BUT, I CAN’T STOP HEALING, I’VE COME TOO FAR TO QUIT NOW!  I STILL HAVE MANA!  I’VE GOT MORE HEALS IN ME!  OKAY SO WE DON’T HAVE A TANK/DPS/HEALER/WHATEVER, BUT I’M SURE WE CAN SURVI…

… and then reality intrudes.  It’s got a knack for that.

When LFR becomes a daily thing …

YOU LEAVE MY MOMMA OUTTA THIS YOUR momma, on the other hand ...

YOU LEAVE MY MOMMA OUTTA THIS
YOUR momma, on the other hand …

At first, I thought I was entering a kind of “zen zone” where LFR could no longer disturb my natural balance of awesome.  Perhaps the repeated wipes necessary to take out Lei Shen had expanded my perspective!  It was like suffering increased my capacity to … uh … suffer.  So despite being in several LFR groups with some issues, I was generally able to keep my sense of humor about the whole deal.  It was like I had given up on thinking about weapons!

For example, after a mind-boggling wipe on Jin “The Zap” Rokh, Cal and I cheerfully took on the role of lifeguards for the Isle of Thunder Community Pool:

OUT OUT OUT No kids allowed!  The adults wanna do respectable laps.

OUT OUT OUT
No kids allowed! The adults wanna do respectable laps.

Or how about the time I asked who was on nest duty?

I got a form.  It's signed and everything.  "No Nest Duty for Thermalix."

I got a form. It’s signed and everything. “No Nest Duty for Thermalix.”

I was bringing my own brand of special to LFR, and it was great!

Alas, it seems gear still has the ability to make me go all angrypants, destroying my delusions of self-mastery.

After having gone through Vault of Mysteries with a surprisingly derpy group (trust me, if buttonmasher me is #3 in DPS, there are SEVERE PROBLEMS PRESENT), I was back in the Shrine making some ragefaces at the wall.  Will of the Emperor gave me a hat (AGAIN) that was worse than what I had on, and this was especially galling because the damn boss also drops a bow!  I then realized that I had unread mail from The Postmaster.  Hmmm.

It occurred to me that although I started the Elegon fight, I hadn’t been around to complete it.  While it was first time I’ve seen a tank go through the floor, it was not the first time I’ve seen a tank use Elegon to blast the rest of the party in a show of pent-up subconscious aggression.  As you might expect, the group wiped.  The overly enthusiastic (and possibly new?  I mean, the floor, everybody knows that it vanishes by now, right?) tank pulled again before I made it back into the room.  I got locked out, but of course Elegon was still able to damage me with his abilities while no one could heal me.  Splendid!  Running low on potions and healthstones (dear warlocks: they are a renewable resource, so stop hoarding them), I had to hearth out to avoid dying in the hallway.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to open this mail, but I did.  As I feared, inside was YET ANOTHER Bottle of Infinite Stars (which is worse than both my trinkets).  I’ve gotten a bazillion of these things, so I really do think Elegon is messing with me now, just for the lolz.  He’s like, hey, Therm, good seeing you again.  HAVE A BOTTLE OF INFINITE STARS.

At that point, SO MUCH FOR MY ZEN.  I swear to Gawd, if Elegon gives me ONE MORE Bottle of Infinite Stars before I get a weapon, I am going to seriously go back in time, rip off one of his wee little starlegs and beat him upside the head with it.  YOU HEAR ME, ELEGON?  I WILL HAVE TO RESORT TO VIOLENCE.  You know, something more violent than shooting him with lots of magical arrows.

I’m including this last image because it makes me happy, not because it’s relevant.

What We Do While Waiting We torment the small snails for all the times their larger cousins tormented us.

What We Do While Waiting
We torment the small snails for all the times their larger cousins tormented us.

Lei Sheeeeeeeeeyit

Let's Talk About This! I need a minute to think up another excuse.

Let’s Talk About This!
I need a minute to think up another excuse.

When Thermalix logged in late last week, Cal informed her that it was high time she shot Lei Shen in the face.  She was forced to admit that he had a point, since the one reason she had given for not doing so was “I CAN’T GO UNTIL HE GETS NERFED INTO REALITY,” aaand the dude got nerfed.  Unfortunately for her, she didn’t have a second argument to fall back on.  Therm couldn’t point to how she didn’t know WTF she was doing, because that’s normal and also the standard mode of operation for most non-tanks in LFR.  She couldn’t point to gear being a barrier, because she had the gearscore to get in.  She couldn’t claim that she had to wash her rocket camel, because it exploded the week before.

Here’s what Therm DID know about Lei Shen before going in:

  • Has face tentacles or cancerous growths
  • Would probably be the kid who sticks his finger in an electrical outlet for fun
  • Most LFRs run screaming before they even take on the adds in front of his room
  • He doesn’t drop a ranged weapon
Bring It On C'mon Lei Shen, let's just get it over with.

Bring It On
C’mon Lei Shen, let’s just get it over with.

It’s hard to say whether more or less knowledge would have helped.

Continue reading

Thermalix Strikes at the Throne of Thunder

Yes, I went there.  AND THERE.

The Throne of ThunderThe goblin mind can justify anything it wants to do. ANYTHING.

The Throne of Thunder
The goblin mind can justify anything it wants to do. ANYTHING.

Though she knows a number of people who are crowing about the increased drop rates these days, Thermalix ran Mogu’shan Vaults and Terrace of Endless Spring this week and came up weaponless yet again.  She was at the farm afterwards, busily pouting and planting pumpkins, when she suddenly hit upon the glorious idea of SEEKING GREAT JUSTICE FOR THE POOR DEAD CHICKENS.  Since she has no equal for leaps of logic (these things make PERFECT SENSE), she grabbed a friend and queued for LFR.  With such a noble mission, how could things possibly go wrong?

Throne of ThunderI probably should've gone with the whole road less traveled.

Throne of Thunder
I probably should’ve gone with the whole road less traveled.

There was trash, of course, but Thermalix didn’t care about that.  They wouldn’t give her JUSTICE.  The first thing she encountered that mattered was Mr. Jin “The Zap” Rokh, seen above.   Thermalix was prepared in some ways (got a mission), but not in others (actually knowing WTF was going to happen).  So Fel did his darndest to explain what was about to unfold … in a way that a goblin could understand.

You see, this place is SCIENCE.  There will be water.  There will be lightning.  The two together can be unpleasant.

The Throne of ThunderIt's for SCIENCE!  And chickens.

The Throne of Thunder
It’s for SCIENCE! And chickens.

Thermalix gets science.  Really, she does.  She just doesn’t get why it has to be so damn painful all the time.  She also doesn’t get why we’d have a palace with water and crap in a place with constant bad weather.  IS THERE NOT WATER ENOUGH COMING FROM THE SKY??

The Throne of ThunderIt is an option.

The Throne of Thunder
It is an option.

Anyway, then came Horridon.  He also had a buddy, but Therm doesn’t remember that guy.  This is mostly because next to the shining beacon of awesomesauce that is Horridon the Horrible, anybody short of a god would fade into nothingness.  He was THERE – but he didn’t matter.

The Throne of ThunderOH GOD NO BAD DINO STOP

The Throne of Thunder
OH GOD NO BAD DINO STOP

I don’t really remember why, exactly, I thought Therm could escape through a door.  I might’ve had some idea of cowering in a small opening that Horridon could not get himself into.  Unfortunately, pretty much all the doors are locked, busted or filled with trolls who would rather you die right here right now.

In truth, I’m somewhat thankful that Blizzard went with a direhorn for Horridon.  If it had been a Devilsaur like Oondasta, I would’ve been in a corner crying, door or no door, trolls or no trolls.  Anybody remember Sharptooth from the Land Before Time?  He, other carnivorous dinosaurs and, for some reason, mummies (I kid you not) were the terror or my childhood.

The Throne of ThunderMy dreams are usually three times my size.

The Throne of Thunder
My dreams are usually three times my size.

Some day.  But first …

The Throne of ThunderOtherwise, this angle could be awkward.

The Throne of Thunder
Otherwise, this angle could be awkward.

Thermalix has this secret fear that Zandalari trolls go commando.  I don’t know why.  It seems like something they’d do, and she’d just rather not know that sort of thing.  But so many of them keep showing up in kilts!  They’re practically giants, and Therm’s somewhere around two feet tall.  If her suspicions are true, she’s bound to witness something sooner or later.

The Throne of ThunderI have to figure out how to salvage those cannons first ... Or were they coffins?  Kinda hard to tell.

The Throne of Thunder
I have to figure out how to salvage those cannons first … Or were they coffins? Kinda hard to tell.

Either way, I’d like to take those home with me.  Anybody got a crowbar?

On to the council.

The Throne of ThunderWORK IN PROGRESS HERE PEOPLE

The Throne of Thunder
WORK IN PROGRESS HERE PEOPLE

I was told it was a flustercluck, and indeed, the council of trolls delivered.  There was some contention in the LFR group in regards to who should be killed daaeed first.  Kill whoever’s possessed.  No, kill the sand guy.  No, the sand guy and the storm guy are equally bad.  Ignore the hulk.  No, kill him if he’s possessed.  No, kill the female troll, she does healing crap.  No, kill adds.  Thermalix concluded that she didn’t like the sand guy, so she was going to shoot him.  He seemed like the type to assassinate innocent chickens.

Being a goblin, however, Therm could not resist planning for the future once they were all taken care of.  Well, she probably just couldn’t keep up the pretense of fighting for the sake of dead chickens.  Real estate’s got so much more potential.

The Throne of ThunderYou know, after we deal with the whole troll/mogu thing.

The Throne of Thunder
You know, after we deal with the whole troll/mogu thing.

And lastly, she had to try something that she didn’t dare do while everybody else was still in the LFR – she went back to where the windy platform/bridgethings were, and she jumped.  It seemed to be the most efficient way of finding out what was down there.

The Throne of ThunderIt may be connected to the Twisting Nether.

The Throne of Thunder
It may be connected to the Twisting Nether.