Tag Archives: ugbeis

Schaltzophrenia

I liked Ugbeis the Gorgeous, as I like comedy and there’s hardly an easier target than the gamer definition of “attractive,” but she kind of put me over my non-goblin alt limit.  I was beginning to feel a little schaltzophrenic!  But before I could return her to goblin form, I had to come up with a satisfactory name.  This took longer than anticipated, mostly because my goblin names must reference money, machinery or explosives.  I finally cooked up something I could live with, however, and Ugbeis the Gorgeous is now a goblin, who is somewhat less well endowed, is three feet shorter and has ears twice as big.

Since I am talking alts, I have to say that I just don’t get why goblins can’t be monks.  Seriously, what’s up with that?  I guess they excluded goblins and worgen because they didn’t want the rest of the “old” races to feel bad when they saw how gorgeous we and pandas look when doing monk-like moves.  Or perhaps they simply had to exclude somebody like they do for all other classes.  Otherwise, it just doesn’t make sense.  Even Draenai and Tauren can be monks, and they have jacked up legs and hooves!

But I want to try this monk business too!  So now there’s Tiyinti (EL OH EL I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE), the gnome monk.  Urgh, I can’t believe I made a gnome.  I’m supposed to be ethically opposed to gnome-dom, for despite their tinkering capabilities, they just don’t have the same proclivity for explosivity.  But there she is, because I refuse to make a panda until I can have an angryface female panda.  >:{  She’s level 5 and has just learned how to Roll.  Cue the “They see me rollin’/They hatin'” reference!

Because I don’t have enough to do, I’m also starting a druid.  I’m taking bets on how far I’ll get before I 1.) run screaming, 2.) break down in tears, and/or 3.) just go “WTF am I doing I mean seriously self” and delete her.  She’s currently a Tauren, but I plan on being a boomchicken so I can go pew pew pew.  She is named Crazyfeather, because 1.) WTF self this is crazy, 2.) I had a cow once by that name, and 3.) there’s totally an NPC called Windfeather so LORE PRECEDENT.

Mechbeth, ever confused, is now a goblin shaman (I know, I did just delete Majig in a fit of totem-induced rage), just so I can say I have a one of every class the race can be.  She counts, even if she is just level 1 and hasn’t even stepped out the door onto the terra disastra that is Kezan.

I gotta stop doing pet battles at some point and actually get past the Jade Forest.  You know, some day.

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“To Heck With Your Standards” Set

"To Heck With Your Standards" Set

“To Heck With Your Standards” Set

“To Heck With Your Standards” Set

Class: Death Knight, Warrior, Paladink

H: Not shown | S: Talonguard Epaulets | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Revenant Chestplate | Wa: Symbolic Girdle | L: Revenant Leggings
G: Revenant Gauntlets | Wr: Not shown | B: Symbolic Greaves

2h Sword: Sul’thraze the Lasher x2

Status: Finished
To Find: Nothing

Thoughts: Sometimes, when I look at sets like the Talonguard Set, I think that some poor designer at Blizzard must’ve started off with a solid, comprehensive idea (oogly as it was), but then he or she got the stomach flu and it all went to sheeyit.  The shoulders (to say nothing of the helm) don’t match unless you cross your eyes and vomit at the same time.

Buuuuut if I take those same shoulders and use them with pieces that actually share the color scheme (whoa, revolutionary thought there!), it doesn’t turn out so bad.  Gotta say, that beehive just rocks the casbah.  As long as she’s got hair like that, she’ll never wear a helm.

I have Sul’thraze the Lasher because I had Jang’thraze the Protector in my bank and asked Cal what the heck I should do with it, considering I had no plans to use 1 handed swords.  Cal immediately suggested I get the other and create Sul’thraze, and by “suggested” I mean he more or less motored me around Zul’Farrak and killed everything for me, because that was way faster.  Other than the sword, everything was an AH buy.

The Former Form of Hugbees

So, Hugbees was unable to make it to the transmog contest as she had hoped, which meant I transferred her platekini ambitions on to my more regular cast.

Nir refused platekini.  The closest she would go was the “Soul Caller” set, and in response to that, she went and made the “Need More Overlords” set (to be posted).  Mechalis took one look and just laughed her little green butt off.  Mechbeth, ever desperate for a purpose, said “ME!  ME!  PICK ME!”  Since warlocks can’t wear plate, she underwent yet another career change to become a blood elf paladin for the purpose, and got all the way to level 7 before losing steam.

Though many think female blood elves are meant to wear nothing but platekini, I find them far too skinny for the task.  So I created an extremely short-lived Tauren who was going to be the failure of all Grimtotem failures, but I realized that I couldn’t handle the total lack of hairdos, since horns don’t do it for me.  Since you can only make one Death Knight per server, Hugbees couldn’t be transferred.

Then came Thingie.  She’s long had a secret thing for platekini (she hid the Warrior’s Embrace top under a tabard for months), and she recently cooked up an outfit based based heavily on the skimpier Revenant set.  I also renamed Thingie, but the new name wasn’t taking.

So, I turned Thingie into an orc and gave her yet another new name.  I couldn’t quite bring myself to call an RP realm character Hugbees, though, so I dubbed her “Ugbeis” instead, which seems orcish enough.

Ugbeis the Gorgeous

Ugbeis the Gorgeous

A huntard in a Dungeon Finder party named his new pet after her, since I told him how to tame one of the wolves without getting the rest of us killed (Ice Trap FTW!).  He called it “Creepy.”