Tag Archives: vault of mysteries

Weapuns of Mass Destruction

Oh MAH GAWD THIS CAN'T BE REAL

Oh MAH GAWD
THIS CAN’T BE REAL

IT'S A BOW I HAVE A BOW OMG FREAKING OUT HERE LIKE WHOA

IT’S A BOW I HAVE A BOW OMG
FREAKING OUT HERE LIKE WHOA

I Cannot Even QUEUE THE GIF PARTY BABY

I Cannot Even
QUEUE THE GIF PARTY BABY

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When LFR becomes a daily thing …

YOU LEAVE MY MOMMA OUTTA THIS YOUR momma, on the other hand ...

YOU LEAVE MY MOMMA OUTTA THIS
YOUR momma, on the other hand …

At first, I thought I was entering a kind of “zen zone” where LFR could no longer disturb my natural balance of awesome.  Perhaps the repeated wipes necessary to take out Lei Shen had expanded my perspective!  It was like suffering increased my capacity to … uh … suffer.  So despite being in several LFR groups with some issues, I was generally able to keep my sense of humor about the whole deal.  It was like I had given up on thinking about weapons!

For example, after a mind-boggling wipe on Jin “The Zap” Rokh, Cal and I cheerfully took on the role of lifeguards for the Isle of Thunder Community Pool:

OUT OUT OUT No kids allowed!  The adults wanna do respectable laps.

OUT OUT OUT
No kids allowed! The adults wanna do respectable laps.

Or how about the time I asked who was on nest duty?

I got a form.  It's signed and everything.  "No Nest Duty for Thermalix."

I got a form. It’s signed and everything. “No Nest Duty for Thermalix.”

I was bringing my own brand of special to LFR, and it was great!

Alas, it seems gear still has the ability to make me go all angrypants, destroying my delusions of self-mastery.

After having gone through Vault of Mysteries with a surprisingly derpy group (trust me, if buttonmasher me is #3 in DPS, there are SEVERE PROBLEMS PRESENT), I was back in the Shrine making some ragefaces at the wall.  Will of the Emperor gave me a hat (AGAIN) that was worse than what I had on, and this was especially galling because the damn boss also drops a bow!  I then realized that I had unread mail from The Postmaster.  Hmmm.

It occurred to me that although I started the Elegon fight, I hadn’t been around to complete it.  While it was first time I’ve seen a tank go through the floor, it was not the first time I’ve seen a tank use Elegon to blast the rest of the party in a show of pent-up subconscious aggression.  As you might expect, the group wiped.  The overly enthusiastic (and possibly new?  I mean, the floor, everybody knows that it vanishes by now, right?) tank pulled again before I made it back into the room.  I got locked out, but of course Elegon was still able to damage me with his abilities while no one could heal me.  Splendid!  Running low on potions and healthstones (dear warlocks: they are a renewable resource, so stop hoarding them), I had to hearth out to avoid dying in the hallway.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to open this mail, but I did.  As I feared, inside was YET ANOTHER Bottle of Infinite Stars (which is worse than both my trinkets).  I’ve gotten a bazillion of these things, so I really do think Elegon is messing with me now, just for the lolz.  He’s like, hey, Therm, good seeing you again.  HAVE A BOTTLE OF INFINITE STARS.

At that point, SO MUCH FOR MY ZEN.  I swear to Gawd, if Elegon gives me ONE MORE Bottle of Infinite Stars before I get a weapon, I am going to seriously go back in time, rip off one of his wee little starlegs and beat him upside the head with it.  YOU HEAR ME, ELEGON?  I WILL HAVE TO RESORT TO VIOLENCE.  You know, something more violent than shooting him with lots of magical arrows.

I’m including this last image because it makes me happy, not because it’s relevant.

What We Do While Waiting We torment the small snails for all the times their larger cousins tormented us.

What We Do While Waiting
We torment the small snails for all the times their larger cousins tormented us.