Tag Archives: warrior

Can it really be “Random” if all you get is Blackrock?


And LFD Won’t Let Me Out!

In what must be some sort of karmic class reversal, I’m leveling a warrior while Cav’s leveling a shaman (or a “totemic warrior,” as he likes to call it).  I don’t know, man.  I’m the goblin and he’s an orc, though, so I guess there’s still some sense in this crazy world.  Pixelby has just hit level 60, which enables me to make various proclamations on the internets about how Warrioring for Noobs is going.

As I’ve been leveling Pixelby, I’ve been thinking that I got a general compatibility disorder with any class that doesn’t come to the party with 300k mana. It would explain my overall ineptitude with rogue, kitteh, and warlock!  See, once I get a resource built up, I have a tendency to either not to use it at all or to run out of it almost instantly by BUTTONMASHING EVERYTHING.

When it comes to warriorizing the local dungeons, I vacillate between not using Rage enough and RAEGINGINGL:SKJDLBERSERKERING all the things.  For although I like pressing buttons (well established fact),  I get paranoid about spending Rage because I might not have enough left for Execute in the very narrow time frame when something in a dungeon can be executed.  Execute glows when you can use it, which is a plus in my book.  But the glowing means nothing but torture if you have too little Rage!  Execute will just shine all happily there on your toolbar until the mob finally dies, taunting you with your lack of Rage and the fact that you’ll never be able to generate enough Rage for the skill in time.

I like having more wiggle room to spam skills gleefully screw up a rotation do what I want, just because.  Hence 300k mana being better than having to generate Rage, or combo points, or burning embers, or whatnot – taking into account cooldowns and whatnot, I’m able to happily spam crap for longer.

Chaaaaaaaaaarge! Of COURSE I bought the fire glyph.  HOW COULD I NOT?

Of COURSE I bought the fire glyph. HOW COULD I NOT?

I still like Charge.  It’s the best warrior thing ever, especially when the party has left me behind ’cause priests and mages and movement things, leaving me forever alone in the dust, trudging along as fast as my little legs can take me.  But lo, is that a critter I spy between here and there?  CHARGE!  Half the distance, gone in a second (and the critter too).  Am I ever going to get to the combat action?  CHARGE!  Awwww yeah, now I’m back in the game!  My relationship with Charge is kinda like this:

I covet all the Charges in a way that may not be entirely sane.  My ideas to improve Warrioring almost all revolve around Charge.  Lemme Charge more often, maybe.  Or increase the range of Charge to 40 yards.  Or let me Charge in the direction I’m facing (any objects that attempt to intercept me do so at their own risk).  Actually, let’s just make Charge free to use whenever wherever, with a one second cooldown and no distance limitations.  Because AWESOME.

The whole thing seems kinda like a yawn once the Charge euphoria wears off, though.  Or in those situations where I can’t Charge at all because I Charged too much and now it’s on cooldown, or when it’s too late to Charge because the mobs are already in my face.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m wimpy or underpowered or something.  I like big swords and I cannot lie and all that, and thanks to heirlooms, I’m usually towards the top in DPS.

It’s just that … OOH YES FINALLY THERE’S A GLOWY BUTTON PRESS IT now I wait for the next.

ALL OF THEM NEED MORE They glow in my dreams and nightmares.

They glow in my dreams and nightmares.

Up until about 50 or so, there were waaaaay too few glowy buttons for my tastes.  And Execute isn’t really executey enough for me.  When I execute sheeyit, weapons should FALL FROM THE SKY.  Bombs maybe, that’d be logical, but swords and axes and stuff would also be acceptable.  When I get Bloodsurge, I ought to cause some giant crazed blood beast of doom to rear up from the ground and smack my opponent along with me.  ORRRRR, maybe Bloodsurge could give me GLOWING BLOOD SWORDS.  (Sword-chucks maybe?)


I liked Ugbeis the Gorgeous, as I like comedy and there’s hardly an easier target than the gamer definition of “attractive,” but she kind of put me over my non-goblin alt limit.  I was beginning to feel a little schaltzophrenic!  But before I could return her to goblin form, I had to come up with a satisfactory name.  This took longer than anticipated, mostly because my goblin names must reference money, machinery or explosives.  I finally cooked up something I could live with, however, and Ugbeis the Gorgeous is now a goblin, who is somewhat less well endowed, is three feet shorter and has ears twice as big.

Since I am talking alts, I have to say that I just don’t get why goblins can’t be monks.  Seriously, what’s up with that?  I guess they excluded goblins and worgen because they didn’t want the rest of the “old” races to feel bad when they saw how gorgeous we and pandas look when doing monk-like moves.  Or perhaps they simply had to exclude somebody like they do for all other classes.  Otherwise, it just doesn’t make sense.  Even Draenai and Tauren can be monks, and they have jacked up legs and hooves!

But I want to try this monk business too!  So now there’s Tiyinti (EL OH EL I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE), the gnome monk.  Urgh, I can’t believe I made a gnome.  I’m supposed to be ethically opposed to gnome-dom, for despite their tinkering capabilities, they just don’t have the same proclivity for explosivity.  But there she is, because I refuse to make a panda until I can have an angryface female panda.  >:{  She’s level 5 and has just learned how to Roll.  Cue the “They see me rollin’/They hatin'” reference!

Because I don’t have enough to do, I’m also starting a druid.  I’m taking bets on how far I’ll get before I 1.) run screaming, 2.) break down in tears, and/or 3.) just go “WTF am I doing I mean seriously self” and delete her.  She’s currently a Tauren, but I plan on being a boomchicken so I can go pew pew pew.  She is named Crazyfeather, because 1.) WTF self this is crazy, 2.) I had a cow once by that name, and 3.) there’s totally an NPC called Windfeather so LORE PRECEDENT.

Mechbeth, ever confused, is now a goblin shaman (I know, I did just delete Majig in a fit of totem-induced rage), just so I can say I have a one of every class the race can be.  She counts, even if she is just level 1 and hasn’t even stepped out the door onto the terra disastra that is Kezan.

I gotta stop doing pet battles at some point and actually get past the Jade Forest.  You know, some day.

“To Heck With Your Standards” Set

"To Heck With Your Standards" Set

“To Heck With Your Standards” Set

“To Heck With Your Standards” Set

Class: Death Knight, Warrior, Paladink

H: Not shown | S: Talonguard Epaulets | Cl: Not shown
Ch: Revenant Chestplate | Wa: Symbolic Girdle | L: Revenant Leggings
G: Revenant Gauntlets | Wr: Not shown | B: Symbolic Greaves

2h Sword: Sul’thraze the Lasher x2

Status: Finished
To Find: Nothing

Thoughts: Sometimes, when I look at sets like the Talonguard Set, I think that some poor designer at Blizzard must’ve started off with a solid, comprehensive idea (oogly as it was), but then he or she got the stomach flu and it all went to sheeyit.  The shoulders (to say nothing of the helm) don’t match unless you cross your eyes and vomit at the same time.

Buuuuut if I take those same shoulders and use them with pieces that actually share the color scheme (whoa, revolutionary thought there!), it doesn’t turn out so bad.  Gotta say, that beehive just rocks the casbah.  As long as she’s got hair like that, she’ll never wear a helm.

I have Sul’thraze the Lasher because I had Jang’thraze the Protector in my bank and asked Cal what the heck I should do with it, considering I had no plans to use 1 handed swords.  Cal immediately suggested I get the other and create Sul’thraze, and by “suggested” I mean he more or less motored me around Zul’Farrak and killed everything for me, because that was way faster.  Other than the sword, everything was an AH buy.

The Former Form of Hugbees

So, Hugbees was unable to make it to the transmog contest as she had hoped, which meant I transferred her platekini ambitions on to my more regular cast.

Nir refused platekini.  The closest she would go was the “Soul Caller” set, and in response to that, she went and made the “Need More Overlords” set (to be posted).  Mechalis took one look and just laughed her little green butt off.  Mechbeth, ever desperate for a purpose, said “ME!  ME!  PICK ME!”  Since warlocks can’t wear plate, she underwent yet another career change to become a blood elf paladin for the purpose, and got all the way to level 7 before losing steam.

Though many think female blood elves are meant to wear nothing but platekini, I find them far too skinny for the task.  So I created an extremely short-lived Tauren who was going to be the failure of all Grimtotem failures, but I realized that I couldn’t handle the total lack of hairdos, since horns don’t do it for me.  Since you can only make one Death Knight per server, Hugbees couldn’t be transferred.

Then came Thingie.  She’s long had a secret thing for platekini (she hid the Warrior’s Embrace top under a tabard for months), and she recently cooked up an outfit based based heavily on the skimpier Revenant set.  I also renamed Thingie, but the new name wasn’t taking.

So, I turned Thingie into an orc and gave her yet another new name.  I couldn’t quite bring myself to call an RP realm character Hugbees, though, so I dubbed her “Ugbeis” instead, which seems orcish enough.

Ugbeis the Gorgeous

Ugbeis the Gorgeous

A huntard in a Dungeon Finder party named his new pet after her, since I told him how to tame one of the wolves without getting the rest of us killed (Ice Trap FTW!).  He called it “Creepy.”

Post-patch acclimatization process initializing.

So I’m slowly spending some time reacquainting myself with the different classes.

Summary for the tl;dr folks:

  1. Thingie lives on, long live Charge
  2. Majig got deleted because of bad totem feelings
  3. Arcane mage/protection paladink feel the same to me as they did before
  4. I need Shadowstep back, but level 60 seems so far away
  5. OMGWTF I HATE HATE HATE abilities that are under 15 seconds especially if you have to keep them up
  6. “Choice” is crap, there’s still a set of talents that “should” be chosen
  7. Where’s the Shadow talent choice at level 90 add one soon plzkthx
  8. Screw the standard Shadow talent build, I want my Shadowsquid

The Good Parts:

Caliverne nearly had a heart attack when I told him I was considering deleting a fellow warrior, but thanks to the patch, Thingie survived The Purging of the Alts.  Warriors got Titan’s Grip at a super low level and now rage regeneration feels easier (once I was reminded that I should probably use a Stance and all).  I also remembered that I really like Charge-ing into things, even though I do sometimes get a little Charge happy and Charge into the wrong mobs across the room.

Centina’s now up to 70.  Prior to the patch, people kept on complaining that now Arcane mages will have to hit a grand total of three buttons OMFG.  Maybe I’ve been a screwup as a mage, as I was always hitting three buttons or more.  In any case, it mostly seems the same as before, except I can’t tell what the hell causes Arcane Missiles to pop (sometimes I can just keep on smashing Arcane Blast forever la la la), and sometimes I get two shots of Arcane Missiles for no apparent reason.  This, however, is not something I feel mad about.  FIRE ZE MISSILES!*

Niremere has no idea how lowbie protection tanking is different now.  For her, it’s exactly like it was before.  Run in, smash things in face with a shield, smash more things and Judgementize them, yell at the huntard/priest/mage who insists on shooting the next mob before you pull the mob yourself, rinse, repeat.  Also, how many bad euphemisms/puns was Blizzard knowingly making when they created that glyph where you get a buff if you mount up?

The Iffy Part:
I’ve been leveling Bombelina because OMFG BOXES HELP ME BOXES EVERYWHERE I couldn’t unlock the boxes I was picking up, and that was the whole damn point of this rogue business.  My favorite thing ever, Shadowstep, is now a talent that I can’t get back until level 60.  I liked that skill an awful lot because I suck at positioning (hence why I often like ranged damage, because my position is simply “far away from the thing that hurts”).  On the other hand, because I have played her more recently, I seem to be getting less sucky at rogue-ing in general.  I just spend the whole pug pickpocketing anyway.

The Bad Parts:
Why the mother trucking @#$% bleeping bleepity bleep bleep bleep are there now so damned many bleeping @#%# skills under thirty seconds, some of which you’re supposed to “keep up at all times”?  If it isn’t obvious by now, I hate it when things that are Generally Useful and/or Need to Be Kept Up are also really stupid short.  Short is okay when it’s a “Save My Ass” skill or talent, but if it’s something you’re using all the damn time?  Annoying as @^#$.

Take shamans, for example.  Once upon a time, shaman totems lasted a grand total of thirty seconds to however many minutes.  It was possible to glyph them so they lasted longer, and you damn well better believe that I did.  My only issue was that although you got four “sets” that you could set up and summon, you couldn’t label those sets, which in turn made it somewhat difficult to remember which same-looking icon was which bunch of totems.

Blizzard decided to solve this totem complexity issue by making totems into mostly non-buffs that last fifteen seconds or so.  They have specific situational uses, that is, pray to God your situation lasts fifteen seconds or less (or that you’re not fighting in the same spot for more than fifteen seconds).  Fightin’!  Lemme throw down this totem.  Fightin’!  Oh wait.  Gotta do it again.  Fightin’!  Wait.  Totem time!  I’d rather just not use totems at that rate, but the reason I made a goblin shaman in the first place was because I really liked the way goblin totems looked.  Also, /sadface in that you only toss down one totem or two, because I liked having all the awesome looking totems around me.  Yeah, I deleted Majig.

I’m also feeling pissy about similar timing changes made to shadow priest skills.  For example:

Shadow Word: Pain lasts 18 seconds.
Vampiric Touch lasts 15 seconds.
Devouring Plague lasts 6 seconds.

You’re supposed to keep Pain and Vampiric Touch up all the time.  (In addition, Mind Flay no longer resets Shadow Word: Pain.)  #$% my life.

The new setup to “provide players with the flexibility to choose certain talents without backlash” is a bunch of pretentious game designer bullsheeyit; it sounds nice when you say it and nice when you plan it, but it isn’t actually true in practice.  DPS bean counters and number aficionados have, of course, already figured out The New Standard, and there is, of course, only one New Standard (unlike the one and a half there was before when there were ninety million talents).  Are you really free to choose any talent?  Yeah, right, since you need to choose certain ones for your DPS – your reason for existing.  (Also, why is there no Shadow variant for the level 90 tier?  FAIL!)

You know what Ailabeth says?  Eff it.  Eff it all.  She is keeping her Mindbender Shadowsquid.  It’s not like I was ever top DPS in the first place or even anywhere close.  I’ll take my “Passive Aggressive Mana Management” scheme and just make it a “Passive Aggressive Low Damage Justification Because I Want My Shadowsquid Dammit” scheme.

*(But I am le tired!)

Tanking While Tap Dancing

My past relationship with tanking comes in the form of Thingie, who got to level 40 by this approach.  As a warrior tank with a slight inferiority complex due to her height and DPS, her technique was something like “/ROAR and /PANIC and USE ALL THE SKILLS!  OMFG!”  This worked, for the most part, but it did get somewhat stressful.  Somewhere around level 40 or so, she ran screaming and that was that.

Cue Niremere, who got to level 40 as Retribution.  She then had a party where a dwarf tank (named something like Thedwarf, I kid you not) went Ret in the middle of the dungeon, so she figured, she could go Prot, right?  RIGHT.

Niremere Tanks So You Don't Have To

Niremere Tanks So You Don’t Have To
Holy Crap Instaqueue

I actually kind of … like tanking.  What’s wrong with me?  This is a position of responsibility!  You actually have to do crap!  But Niremere feels dramatic and of consequence, running forward, slinging some shield and holy power, all the while smashing all the things.  Plus, OMFG INSTAQUEUE.  I don’t know what’s up, but every time she turns on Dungeon Finder, she’s got a party within a minute.  You can’t beat that.

This is not to say that everything ends well, of course.

Niremere's Tanking Adventures

Niremere’s Tanking Adventures
Well, crap.

Or, even better:

Baby Got Trolled

Baby Got Trolled
In Dire Maul? WTF?

Yeah, I don’t know either.  While I think I actually like tanking, I still hate Dire Maul, so I may just quest my way past that and then tank some more.

Let’s review:


  1. Through judicious use of the Light, my party shall live.
  2. If it looks as though my party will wipe, I will go down fighting.  (Probably first, but it’s the principle that counts, right?)
  3. I will keep the mobs from attacking the heirloomed, the poorly geared and the wounded, no matter the cost.

  1. The only way my party lives is if everything else dies.
  2. If it looks like this party is going to bomb, screw this sheeyit.  I’m getting out of here!
  3. What do you mean, tanking isn’t some sort of protection racket?  Besides, it’s not MY fault if the huntard pulls crap before I do.

Both agree on one thing, though.  Did the party live?  GOOD.

The Definition of Awesome

For some people, “awesome” means beating Arthas Dragon Soul, or being equipped with the armor of the gods, or finally getting some mount/achieve/what have you.

For Thingie, it’s dual-wielding Shovels of Mercy.

Twice the Mercy

Twice the Mercy
May the Light Help Us All

This is the silliest transmog I’ve been able to accomplish, as most ridiculous things can’t be transmogged at all.  Why can the Shovel of Mercy be transmogged?  I don’t know, and I’m not gonna ask.  I am simply going to enjoy smacking the sheeyit out of things with shovels.

The Vanity of Thingie

Having realized that with the glory of transmog, I no longer needed to stare at horrifically unmatched sets of armor, I began to take a look at my alts.  Enter Thingie Goldwasher, eldest Goldwasher sister, cranky warrior, former tank who now says no tank you, and overall cynical crusher of dreams:


It got worse before it got better.

Oh God.  I can’t even count the number of things that make me cry on the inside, but I’ll point out the major culprits: the “shirt” (held on with adhesives), the metal panties (can’t be comfortable), and ooogly colors (why are my boots green while my “shirt” is reddish?).  (I couldn’t bear to take a screenshot of it when it got worse, which it did.)  Thingie needed a makeover – FAST.

Unfortunately, that’s when I realized that at 41, Thingie had Problems.  Warriors only get plate at 40, and that meant she was not yet decked out in full quest plate.  Plate is also where transmoggers go to waste their gold, as it was priced a full arm and a leg higher than mail.  Oh dear.  Thingie first needed to get plated, then she needed to level, and lastly, hopefully, get rich.  Two out of three happened.  Cue the PUGS!

In the first group, there was a warrior who, seemingly at random, went and attacked a mob.  Thingie, being helpful (and wanting to kill things faster because Dire Maul Oh God Why What Have I Done To You GET ME OUT OF HERE), assisted him.

For this, he punched her.  That led to the following conversation:

He Punched First

He Punched First
And don’t call me short!

As far as I know, jock straps have not yet been invented in Azeroth.  WATCH IT.

Cue the next group, where the tank spontaneously dropped.  While waiting:

Anything Else You'd Like To Tell Me?

Anything Else You’d Like To Tell Me?

As we all know, these sorts of groups are very special.  This particular exchange ended with the priest running into some mobs and pulling them back.  As the other party members wore cloth, Thingie reflexively went “OH CRAP,” switched to Defensive Stance and Thunderstomped.  Keep in mind that Thingie does not own a shield.  This went well for a brief period of time, but then the priest ran out of mana.  The end is clear without saying.

In any case, after much suffering, Thingie gained enough levels to allow her to wear something obnoxious, but obnoxious in a better way.

"The Vanity of Thingie" Set

“The Vanity of Thingie” Set

Helmet Not Shown | Cleaned Up Pauldrons | Pagan Cape | Valorous Chestguard
Force Embued Gauntlets | Overlord’s Girdle | Valorous Legguards | Gothic Sabatons

I have a goblin problem.

They’re gold-grubbing, soul-selling comedy machines and I love it.  I can’t stop making goblin alts.

Once upon a long long time ago in a state far far away, a much younger self started playing WoW as a little undead rogue named Claire.  Unfortunately, I had rolled on a PvP server to play with a friend.  “But Mech,” you say, “why is this unfortunate?  PvP is fun!”  Well, it was unfortunate because some max level Alliance decided to camp my poor level 16 corpse, making it impossible for me to kill plagued bears in peace.  How do you get revenge when you’re dinky and they’re twinky (and way more numerous)?  So I /ragequit the Forsaken and made a Tauren.  Do you remember when Thousand Needles was dry?  I do, because I made my Tauren jump off the plateaus.

VersebelgAnyway, years passed where I did not play WoW.  When I returned (post Cataclysm), I looked at goblins and thought, “Jeebus, their ARMS!”  So I rolled a Troll instead, Versebelg.  (Ailabeth, my Forsaken and mostly forgotten priest, was also created around the same time.)

But then, one day, I made the fatal mistake of rolling a goblin just to see what their starting area was like, and now I’ve gone through their starting area approximately one million times.  This is particularly insane considering you do 100+ quests before you even get off the islands.

My first goblins were the Goldwasher sisters, Thingie, Majig and Mabob.  No, of course their ancestors did not launder money!  Their business endeavors were entirely legal.  Well, mostly anyway …


Thingie, who is still around, is the eldest of the three, and the crankiest.  She is filled with rage (this is punny because she’s a warrior!), which she sometimes takes out on monsters by beating the sheeyit out of them.

Majig, the middle sister, started out as a restoration shaman.  She did not last too long in this occupation, as she found it much more satisfying to dual wield sharp pointy objects.  (Perpetual annoyance seems to be a family trait.)

Mabob, the mage, has since gone off on her own (a.k.a. been deleted).  Her rather frequent death rate probably reflected my inherent tendency to either 1.) run up to the monster and smack it in the face, or 2.) stand my ground when the monster runs towards me.  This is not how being a mage works.


After that, you’d think I had all the goblins I needed.  Wrong!

That’s when I made Mechalis.  I had one goal – be the happiest, most ridiculous damn Death Knight ever, and boy, did I succeed in that regard.  Blizzard’s code apparently agreed, for every minion she summons has a daft name.  Mechalis typically winds up with unintimidating, rather awkward minions like  Wormjumper (he has low standards), Eyeface (he’s got eyes!  On his face!) and Dirtthief (why does he steal dirt?).  She has a soft spot for Mudchewer (teeth are overrated), however, so she lets him stick around.

If it’s silly, has to do with rockets or pool ponies or things that don’t really need an attention span, Mechalis is all for it.  She has no last name, because that whole Scourge thing did a number on her memory.  All she really remembers now are rockets, profit and the comfort of cold, hard gold.  But that’s ok.  When you’re a goblin, that’s really all you need.

After getting Mechalis to 85, I promptly made more goblins.


Bombelina Sparklefuse is a wee rogue, and a cousin of the Goldwashers.  Her goal is, appropriately, to open up all the boxes ever.  Her hair is ridiculously cute.  Did I mention boxes?  Okay, good, because that’s really all she exists for.  That, perhaps, and sneaking around in the awesome way only goblins do.

(Given my tendencies mentioned earlier – smack things in the face, stay put and stab back – I suck at rogues too.  I know this because there have been other Forsaken rogues in my past who never made it past level 16.  I seem to be doing somewhat better this time around, however.)

And I should not forget Centina, hunter and self-proclaimed Miss Bilgewater.  She has no last name, but that’s simply because I haven’t made one up.  Her first pet was a crab, who met his end on the Lost Isles.  Good-bye, Crabcakes.  You were delicious.


I made Centina for two reasons: 1.) My 85 huntard is a troll, not a goblin, and I’m too damn cheap to pay for a race and name change, and 2.) OMFG color changing spiny raptor only goblins can get yay!  (I named him Kaja.  Never forget Kaja-cola, official beverage of the Bilgewater Buccaneers!  It gives you IDEAS!)

I like being a huntard for several reasons: 1.) I have an excuse when I do something stupid, since I’m not expected to be smart*, 2.) I like classes with pets/companions/things that help me, 3.) I am independent, meaning leveling is not a pain in the ass, and 4.) there are no expectations of saving someone else whatsoever, which is very good since I have a lot of trouble saving myself sometimes.  FEIGN DEATH FOREVER!

I fully intend on going Beastmaster so I can tame a Devilsaur and name it Sharptooth.


* This also works in my favor when my DPS is low, since I’m expected to suck.