Why Goblins Should Be All The Things They Aren’t

PALADINS

1. Let’s be frank here – we’re already priests, so it’s only a matter of time before we successfully bribe someone in the Church.
2. Gold is light colored.  Therefore, it is a representation of the Light.  Therefore, we totally follow the Light.
3. There’s no specific rule saying selfish basses can’t be paladins.  Look at all the blood elf paladins running around the place!

MONKS

1. Even gnomes can be monks.  I mean, what’s up with that?  They’re so short, they barely have functional knees!
2. We totally don’t care if it’s impossible to add monk trainers to the starting zone (and/or if Blizzard doesn’t want to).  Who uses trainers to actually train crap until dual spec at level 30 anyway?  We’ll be loooong off the islands by then.  It’s not like we can use Zen Pilgrimage to “cheat” and get outta the Isles early anyway, since you don’t learn that until level 20.
3. We believe in self improvement.  Really!  If time is money, then I gotta do things faster and better, and that takes dedicated training.

DRUIDS

1. We’re already green.  It’s just like being a shaman, but with more animal forms.  Right?
2. Our animal forms would totally have bazookas and rockets and uzis attached.  Instead of our bear form using “Swipe,” we’d use “Nuke.”  You have to admit a rocketbeartank would be awesome.  Besides, all our explosive powder would be organic and locally sourced.
3. We love nature and being natural.  It’s no coincidence that minerals are in the earth and money is in our souls.